Stories
Slash Boxes
Comments

SoylentNews is people

posted by janrinok on Saturday August 01 2015, @12:30AM   Printer-friendly
from the cut-his-finger-nails dept.

With just one final Wolverine movie left, Hugh Jackman turned to social media to get some ideas on what to do with it. On Monday, he shared the following request on Twitter:

        My last time putting on the claws. What do you want to see happen? 50 words or less. I'll read as many as I can. pic.twitter.com/ksA1Gii5tf

        — Hugh Jackman (@RealHughJackman) July 27, 2015

"The Wolverine," the last movie, portrayed a Japan that would feel familiar to fans of "The Barbarian and the Geisha," "You Only Live Twice," and "The Karate Kid, Part II". What would Soylent fans of Wolverine like to see?


Original Submission

This discussion has been archived. No new comments can be posted.
Display Options Threshold/Breakthrough Mark All as Read Mark All as Unread
The Fine Print: The following comments are owned by whoever posted them. We are not responsible for them in any way.
  • (Score: 3, Interesting) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday August 01 2015, @12:40AM

    by Anonymous Coward on Saturday August 01 2015, @12:40AM (#216589)

    A Man and his son were once going with their Donkey to market. As they were walking along by its side a countryman passed them and said: “You fools, what is a Donkey for but to ride upon?”

    So the Man put the Boy on the Donkey and they went on their way. But soon they passed a group of men, one of whom said: “See that lazy youngster, he lets his father walk while he rides.”

    So the Man ordered his Boy to get off, and got on himself. But they hadn’t gone far when they passed two women, one of whom said to the other: “Shame on that lazy lout to let his poor little son trudge along.”

    Well, the Man didn’t know what to do, but at last he took his Boy up before him on the Donkey. By this time they had come to the town, and the passers-by began to jeer and point at them. The Man stopped and asked what they were scoffing at. The men said: “Aren’t you ashamed of yourself for overloading that poor donkey of yours and your hulking son?”

    The Man and Boy got off and tried to think what to do. They thought and they thought, till at last they cut down a pole, tied the donkey’s feet to it, and raised the pole and the donkey to their shoulders. They went along amid the laughter of all who met them till they came to Market Bridge, when the Donkey, getting one of his feet loose, kicked out and caused the Boy to drop his end of the pole. In the struggle the Donkey fell over the bridge, and his fore-feet being tied together he was drowned.

    “That will teach you,” said an old man who had followed them: “Please all, and you will please none.”

    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday August 01 2015, @12:48AM

      by Anonymous Coward on Saturday August 01 2015, @12:48AM (#216592)

      I don't get it. This is a story about donkeys, not about wolverines. Shrek? Layers have onions.

      • (Score: 2) by kurenai.tsubasa on Saturday August 01 2015, @05:17AM

        by kurenai.tsubasa (5227) on Saturday August 01 2015, @05:17AM (#216658) Journal

        Oh, come on AC. It's not standard Amazon lore, but I had an MD (in an administrative position) practically tell me that story. “If you're going to do something, you're going to piss someone off” he told me. I took that advice to heart.

        To relate to the story of Wolverine. (I have a friend in Michigan, so WOLVERINES!) Wolverine often doesn't please the other characters, but he gets shit done.

    • (Score: 5, Funny) by Ethanol-fueled on Saturday August 01 2015, @12:50AM

      by Ethanol-fueled (2792) on Saturday August 01 2015, @12:50AM (#216593) Homepage

      " A Man and his son were once going with their Donkey to market. "

      Wait, I'm confused. So you're suggesting that Matthew Broderick and Sarah Jessica Parker star alongside Hugh Jackman in the new movie?

      • (Score: 2) by c0lo on Saturday August 01 2015, @02:21AM

        by c0lo (156) Subscriber Badge on Saturday August 01 2015, @02:21AM (#216611) Journal
        Wait, I'm confused. You say Sarah Jessica Parker can actually act as the father of Matthew Broderick?
        --
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoFiw2jMy-0 https://soylentnews.org/~MichaelDavidCrawford
    • (Score: 2) by wonkey_monkey on Saturday August 01 2015, @08:25AM

      by wonkey_monkey (279) on Saturday August 01 2015, @08:25AM (#216702) Homepage

      Mod parent down: Started Out Like A Joke But Wasn't

      --
      systemd is Roko's Basilisk
  • (Score: 2) by TrumpetPower! on Saturday August 01 2015, @12:47AM

    by TrumpetPower! (590) <ben@trumpetpower.com> on Saturday August 01 2015, @12:47AM (#216591) Homepage

    Wolverine is Faust and the Flying Dutchman as a lone...er...wolverine. Be nice to see one of them finally get the release of death they all so clearly yearn for. And a real one, too -- not one where his ghost can be summoned or resurrected at some future scriptwriter's whim.

    ...and even better, if it comes with some sort of "not ready yet" clifhanging plot twist for the survivors to deal with....

    b&

    --
    All but God can prove this sentence true.
  • (Score: 1, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday August 01 2015, @01:45AM

    by Anonymous Coward on Saturday August 01 2015, @01:45AM (#216605)

    The problem with Hugh Jackman is he's too damn pretty, so I banned my whole family from his movies, no exception. Yeah.

  • (Score: 5, Funny) by Phoenix666 on Saturday August 01 2015, @02:37AM

    by Phoenix666 (552) on Saturday August 01 2015, @02:37AM (#216615) Journal

    Wolverine leads a plucky band of high school kids in battle after Hordes of paratroopers from "South of the Border" descend outside their school on an austere Manitoba morning. Wolverine and the kids being a hit-and-run campaign against maple syrup reserves, the Molson refinery in Winnipeg, all the resources the enemy needs to consolidate their conquest of their beloved Canada. It's a desperate fight--the enemy has superior numbers and collaborators are everywhere. An evil insurgent hunter named Colonel Cheney sets up his HQ in the town Tim Horton's and executes suspects with shotgun blasts to the face, growling his signature line afterward, "Duck!" Finally, the intrepid band bring down the central TV tower in the middle of the hockey playoffs and Canadians rise up and win back their freedom, yelling slogans like, "Shoot me if you want to, eh, but I bleed red and white!!!"

    (Fin)

    --
    Washington DC delenda est.
    • (Score: 1, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday August 01 2015, @02:50AM

      by Anonymous Coward on Saturday August 01 2015, @02:50AM (#216616)

      Canadians rise up and win back their freedom, yelling slogans like, "Shoot me if you want to, eh, but I bleed red and white!!!"

      Good work, ladies, but you really should get treated for that yeast infection.

    • (Score: 2) by Gaaark on Saturday August 01 2015, @01:38PM

      by Gaaark (41) on Saturday August 01 2015, @01:38PM (#216742) Journal

      Dick Cheney vs. Rob Ford! Who cares about Wolverine!

      --
      --- Please remind me if I haven't been civil to you: I'm channeling MDC. ---Gaaark 2.0 ---
      • (Score: 2) by Phoenix666 on Saturday August 01 2015, @06:06PM

        by Phoenix666 (552) on Saturday August 01 2015, @06:06PM (#216802) Journal

        And thus it was that North American sumo was born...

        --
        Washington DC delenda est.
  • (Score: 4, Insightful) by Covalent on Saturday August 01 2015, @03:02AM

    by Covalent (43) on Saturday August 01 2015, @03:02AM (#216618) Journal

    Seriously, the muscle situation is OUT of control. I understand that you want to be ripped to play Wolverine, but he looks repulsive now. Stop taking whatever you're taking, and skip arms one day.

    http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/images/2013/mutant-strength-hugh-jackmans-wolverine-workout-plan_a.jpg [bodybuilding.com]

    He's a mutant, not a MUTANT. ;)

    --
    You can't rationally argue somebody out of a position they didn't rationally get into.
    • (Score: 4, Funny) by DeathMonkey on Saturday August 01 2015, @04:41AM

      by DeathMonkey (1380) on Saturday August 01 2015, @04:41AM (#216646) Journal

      Seriously, the muscle situation is OUT of control.
       
      Yes!
      It's become bad enough that we simply must start drug testing.
        It's critical that we keep the unethical genetic engineering playing field even!

    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday August 01 2015, @06:56AM

      by Anonymous Coward on Saturday August 01 2015, @06:56AM (#216677)

      He's a Huge Ack Man

      • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday August 01 2015, @06:37PM

        by Anonymous Coward on Saturday August 01 2015, @06:37PM (#216811)

        Huge hack, man.

    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday August 01 2015, @07:15AM

      by Anonymous Coward on Saturday August 01 2015, @07:15AM (#216690)

      Reminds me of Christian Bale in movie "The Machinist". The actor looked like he hadn't eaten in two years, all skin and bones.

      Actors do this for movies and I don't agree with it. Makeup is ok, but living on an apple a day for six months or shooting testosterone is no good.

    • (Score: 2) by Phoenix666 on Saturday August 01 2015, @06:10PM

      by Phoenix666 (552) on Saturday August 01 2015, @06:10PM (#216805) Journal

      As a funny juxtaposition I see Hugh Jackman most often these days on a loop that plays on the TV by the checkout line at the Korean supermarket where we shop. He and his wife teach how to cook good home-cooked Korean meals. I involuntarily pucker and think, "Jesus, Hugh, lay off the gochujang [wikipedia.org]." If you aren't familiar with the stuff, "Ass in Space" [hotsauce.com] is a hint.

      --
      Washington DC delenda est.
  • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday August 01 2015, @03:28AM

    by Anonymous Coward on Saturday August 01 2015, @03:28AM (#216628)

    Don't bother. Beating a dead horse isn't going to make it go farther, just like the rest of the Hollywood sequels that go too far. Hey, I heard they're going to make more Rocky sequels up to XXIV.

    • (Score: 5, Insightful) by Tork on Saturday August 01 2015, @04:02AM

      by Tork (3914) Subscriber Badge on Saturday August 01 2015, @04:02AM (#216636)
      Iconic actor from a popular franchise people spent money to perpetuate asks the fans what they want to see, is met with snark. Yet another reason popular people only tolerate us for tech support.
      --
      🏳️‍🌈 Proud Ally 🏳️‍🌈
      • (Score: 2) by Phoenix666 on Saturday August 01 2015, @06:18PM

        by Phoenix666 (552) on Saturday August 01 2015, @06:18PM (#216806) Journal

        Snark is the divine right of those who have (most likely) been devalued since birth despite their exceptional gifts. First, it's a defense, then it's a weapon. If you keep with it long enough, it becomes fun. Embrace the snark.

        --
        Washington DC delenda est.
        • (Score: 2) by Tork on Saturday August 01 2015, @06:33PM

          by Tork (3914) Subscriber Badge on Saturday August 01 2015, @06:33PM (#216810)
          I have embraced the snark. Oh, and coincidentally, I wrote my little rant on a friday night around 9pm.
          --
          🏳️‍🌈 Proud Ally 🏳️‍🌈
        • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday August 02 2015, @03:30AM

          by Anonymous Coward on Sunday August 02 2015, @03:30AM (#216921)

          Some people have been devalued despite their exceptional gifts, but what is your excuse?

  • (Score: 2, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday August 01 2015, @03:30AM

    by Anonymous Coward on Saturday August 01 2015, @03:30AM (#216630)

    bub

  • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday August 01 2015, @04:02AM

    by Anonymous Coward on Saturday August 01 2015, @04:02AM (#216635)

    Wolverine and the XXX-Men

    Pride and Prejudice ... and Wolverine

    Alien Verses Wolverine

    Romeo and Juliet ... and Wolverine

    The Good the Bad and the Wolverine

    The Sound and the Fury ... of Wolverine

    White Chicks 2: Wolverine

    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday August 01 2015, @08:37AM

      by Anonymous Coward on Saturday August 01 2015, @08:37AM (#216705)

      How about The Rocky Horror Wolverine Show? He can be Frank N Wolverine.

      • (Score: 2) by Gaaark on Saturday August 01 2015, @01:41PM

        by Gaaark (41) on Saturday August 01 2015, @01:41PM (#216744) Journal

        Yes! I'm just a sweet cis-gendered, mutant freak!

        --
        --- Please remind me if I haven't been civil to you: I'm channeling MDC. ---Gaaark 2.0 ---
  • (Score: 2) by Subsentient on Saturday August 01 2015, @04:55AM

    by Subsentient (1111) on Saturday August 01 2015, @04:55AM (#216650) Homepage Journal

    Lots of gory, splatter-noise-filled action sequences of Wolverine tearing up people who REALLY deserve it. That'd make a good movie to me.

    --
    "It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." -Jiddu Krishnamurti
    • (Score: 1, Insightful) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday August 01 2015, @07:46AM

      by Anonymous Coward on Saturday August 01 2015, @07:46AM (#216696)

      Can we please have less of that? Too much gore (Hollywood) desensitizes the movie watching people to death and they think its ok for someone to get killed. That is a dangerous thing to be promoting. In almost all cases it is NOT OK to kill people, and showing needless deaths over and over again serves no purpose than to propagate some propaganda.

      sequences of Wolverine tearing up people who REALLY deserve it.

      What kind of people would those be? People we hate? Invading Russians? Genetically modified soldiers?

      Its not easy to come up with an enemy within a movie and then demonize them enough that they start deserving to die. There is some good in everyone, and if a character is developed enough, people will be able to relate to it and it will stop deserving to die. So Hollywood refuses to develop characters and instead relies on special effects and utterly forgettable action sequences... so people will come back for more utterly forgettable action sequences containing more gore next time.

      So could we get a real story written by a Non-American who is not promoting the official party line? It does not need to contain any deaths.

      • (Score: 2) by Phoenix666 on Saturday August 01 2015, @06:25PM

        by Phoenix666 (552) on Saturday August 01 2015, @06:25PM (#216809) Journal

        What kind of people would those be? People we hate?

        Ooo, ooo, I know! Bankers. Wall Street bankers. Let them look down at their noses at Logan in a bar, throw $100 bills at him like they expect him to scrabble for them like the rest of the rabble in the place. Logan extends his claws into the guy's belly, says, "Let's find out what a tranche of you is worth, motherfucker!" and slices him like bread.

        --
        Washington DC delenda est.
  • (Score: 3, Touché) by Anne Nonymous on Saturday August 01 2015, @05:04AM

    by Anne Nonymous (712) on Saturday August 01 2015, @05:04AM (#216655)

    > My last time putting on the claws. What do you want to see happen?

    Now masturbate.

    • (Score: 2) by Phoenix666 on Saturday August 01 2015, @06:22PM

      by Phoenix666 (552) on Saturday August 01 2015, @06:22PM (#216808) Journal

      You do know he'd instantly heal, right?

      --
      Washington DC delenda est.
  • (Score: 2) by kurenai.tsubasa on Saturday August 01 2015, @05:09AM

    by kurenai.tsubasa (5227) on Saturday August 01 2015, @05:09AM (#216657) Journal

    I'm sure there are many more insightful, informative, and even interesting comments above this one.

    I want to see the Amazon Nation in action! The DC Universe has its Wonder Woman. What is the Marvel equivalent?! I'm all about more Amazon action. (No, Phoenix, Storm, Rogue, etc do not apply. I'm talking about Themyscria here! Or at least the village I stayed at for four years in China!)

  • (Score: 2, Interesting) by mucsdnop on Saturday August 01 2015, @05:28AM

    by mucsdnop (3687) on Saturday August 01 2015, @05:28AM (#216662)

    Personally I'm less interested in whatever his last movie will be about, and more curious of how he would have looked in all of the previous movies if he was the proper height Wolverine is supposed to be from the comics. I'm sure it would have looked awkward as all hell, but also a bit hilarious to have a 5'3" Hugh Jackman hopping around trying to stay in the shot and randomly going into a berserker rage because he's shorter than most of the kids at Xavier's mansion. So pretty much similar to what Gimli was in the Lord of the Rings movies.

  • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday August 01 2015, @07:18AM

    by Anonymous Coward on Saturday August 01 2015, @07:18AM (#216691)

    No other words need be said. Even Jackman has hinted he wants to do it.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Old_Man_Logan [wikipedia.org]

  • (Score: 2) by Anne Nonymous on Sunday August 02 2015, @01:05PM

    by Anne Nonymous (712) on Sunday August 02 2015, @01:05PM (#216995)

    Well, that's no fun.

  • (Score: 2) by morgauxo on Monday August 03 2015, @09:06PM

    by morgauxo (2082) on Monday August 03 2015, @09:06PM (#217589)

    The whole superhero or immortal that just wants to be normal routine is getting old. Seriously, who would chose to give that stuff up? When us real life mortals want to die it's called 'suicidal tendencies' and it's considered to be mental illness. Yah, I get it, all your loved-ones dying would suck. Just like you would have a lifetime to come to care about that first group of them you lose you would have the next lifetime to get over them and form new bonds with the next round.

    Ok, I guess this one was more for the writers... sorry.