El Reg reports Job ad promises "Meaningless Repetitive Work on the .NET Stack"
You'll need "numbness to the absence of excellence", will be paid "handsomely for your soul".
"Grease the wheels of capitalism with your tears ...we will pay you handsomely for your soul."
A job ad has appeared offering one lucky worker the chance to perform "Meaningless Repetitive Work on the .NET Stack".
The ad[*] is real. Recruiter Joshua Wulf told The Register he wrote it after a conversation with a candidate "who told me what his job is really like".
[...] The lucky candidate will get to wrestle the following:
- Multiple generations of legacy code that cannot be refactored without destroying the entire house of cards.
- Design anti-patterns as a design pattern.
- Live, mission-critical system where you develop on the production instance.
- Large sections of managed and native COBOL.
- Easily top every development horror story at LAN parties.
To score the gig, you'll need these traits:
- Experience with the following technologies: .NET, ASP.NET, JavaScript, VBScript, COBOL, Managed COBOL.
- An extreme resilience and ability to withstand intense pressure.
- A numbness to the absence of excellence.
- Wily survival instincts and the ability to keep your head down combined with a reckless disregard for type safety.
- A bonus is any political experience, whether as a candidate or as an elected official.
Wulf tells The Register the ad has succeeded. "My phone has been ringing off the hook", he says. "People are telling me they are strangely attracted to the job because other jobs don't sound real."
"I'm surprised by the response: it's blown up!"
Ever seen this kind of honesty in an ad? Did you have the foresight to have archive.is save a copy? Do share.
[*] Ed note: In accordance with the original ad:
Copyright (c) 2016 Joshua J Wulf / Just Digital People.
License: Creative Commons CC BY-SA 3.0 AU.
Related Stories
The Enterprises Project writes about how the demand for several very specific, established skills, including COBOL, is increasing as boomers retire, taking their knowledge with them. Part of the skill gap between the old and the new is familiarity with the work flow and business processes.
Baby Boomers are retiring and taking with them the skills to run legacy technologies upon which organizations still (amazingly) rely – from AS/400 wrangling to COBOL development. That leaves many CIOs in a tight spot, trying to fill roles that not only require specialized knowledge no longer being taught but that most IT professionals agree also have limited long-term prospects. "Specific skill sets associated with mainframes, DB2 and Oracle, for example, are complex and require years of training, and can be challenging to find in young talent," says Graig Paglieri, president of Randstad Technologies.
Apparently, COBOL is still in use in 9 percent of businesses, mainly in finance and government. And so the demand for COBOL is gradually growing. If one has interest to pick up that plus one or more of the other legacy technologies, on top of something newer and trendier, there should be a possibility to clean up before the last of these jobs moves to India.
Earlier on SN:
Jean Sammet, Co-Designer of a Pioneering Computer Language, Dies at 89 (2017)
Banks Should Let Ancient Programming Language COBOL Die (2017)
Honesty in Employment Ads (2016)
3 Open Source Projects for Modern COBOL Development
(2015)
(Score: 3, Interesting) by Kell on Monday April 18 2016, @12:49PM
Yep, sure sounds like the Australian tech environment, alright.
Scientists ask questions. Engineers solve problems.
(Score: 2) by MadTinfoilHatter on Monday April 18 2016, @12:53PM
...one of the funniest car ads I've ever seen started with the words: "For sale: Demon-possessed Nissan"
Some other gems were (as I recall them from several years back):
The indicator light of the passenger seat heater goes on and off according to what I presume is some kind of biorythm.
If you drive a couple of kilometers along the freeway and drive to a petrol station, you can see the driver's side braking disk glow reg hot, just like in formula 1, so if you happen to get hungry while making a pit-stop for the brakes to cool down, just crack an egg on it and toss in some hot dogs. Though I haven't personnally tested it, I assume they'd be cooked in under a second.
Whenever you try to start in damp weather the Nissan let's out a long croaking noise. This is apparently due to something called a solenoid. I asked a local hairy-hand at the garage how much he would take to fix it. He said he would get back to me, but never did. He probably realised the folly of going up against the forces of darkness with a mere spanner
(Score: 2) by tangomargarine on Monday April 18 2016, @02:44PM
I dunno, I think it would be pretty hard to surpass that joke Baltimore used car commercial.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBs455jwb8w [youtube.com]
"Is that really true?" "I just spent the last hour telling you to think for yourself! Didn't you hear anything I said?"
(Score: 4, Insightful) by SomeGuy on Monday April 18 2016, @12:56PM
But do you have 10 years of experience in this specific type of meaningless work that has only been around for 2 years?
Do you have experience doing meaningless work in in DFSDFGWREG, Fakuinternaldb, Madeuptech Web Shite, and NobodysHeardOfThis meaningless applications?
Then don't even bother applying! We are not going to train! We are not going to permit you five seconds to get up to speed. It is impossible for a smart person to quickly learn new tech, my MBA training says so. We don't care if you have extensive experience in dozens of similar tools, if your skills aren't an exact precise match then you WILL be ignored.
Oh, did we mention experience must be with Fakuinternaldb version 43.3.1? If you only have experience with Fakuinternaldb 43.3.0, then you are also not qualified.
And then we will complain about not being able to find qualified employees in the US and outsource to some golden brown PC-rebooters.
THAT is the problem with most job descriptions these days.
It is impossible for an actual honest human to find a job these days.
(Score: 3, Insightful) by VLM on Monday April 18 2016, @01:20PM
And then we will complain about not being able to find qualified employees in the US
But, luckily, the bosses frat-bro and/or nephew just happened to apply and the boss can personally verify his qualifications... Also see diversity hire, if you can prove no one can meet the qualifications, then anyone can be hired, and if you have an extensive quota system based on the usual demographic groups, then any equally unqualified diversity hire will do.
(Score: 4, Insightful) by Thexalon on Monday April 18 2016, @01:41PM
I should point out that many ads like this one used to be created to legally demonstrate that there were no qualified citizens available to take a position, and the company was left with absolutely no choice but to hire somebody from overseas that they can pay a fraction of the price and threaten to deport them if they complain about the 85-hour standard work week.
You're actually seeing less of these, in part because companies seeking to hire from overseas no longer have to demonstrate that there isn't a citizen willing and able to take the job.
The only thing that stops a bad guy with a compiler is a good guy with a compiler.
(Score: 2) by JoeMerchant on Monday April 18 2016, @03:51PM
There are still plenty of positions required to advertise where the hiring manager already knows he's going to promote from within: Well, we interviewed the 5 best qualified candidates from the field and none of them hold a candle to John here, so we're just going to go with John.
Україна досі не є частиною Росії Слава Україні🌻 https://news.stanford.edu/2023/02/17/will-russia-ukraine-war-end
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday April 18 2016, @04:26PM
There are still plenty of positions required to advertise where the hiring manager already knows he's going to promote from within: Well, we interviewed the 5 best qualified candidates from the field and none of them hold a candle to John here, so we're just going to go with John.
I had a manager who was in the opposite situation, he wanted to hire a qualified local for a field position but upper management insisted that he get someone already in the company to accept a multi-year assignment in the middle of nowhere. His solution was to cherry-pick the people who thought were unlikely to accept to assignment and after several saying no he was finally able to hire the person he wanted for the job.
(Score: 2) by PizzaRollPlinkett on Monday April 18 2016, @01:41PM
Nothing sadder than to see a company stuck with some legacy system that lost to some other technology years before most people were even born. I saw a job posting for a company that was stuck with a multi-value database as the foundation of their whole company and felt a sort of compassion. But not really. If you want people with legacy technology skills, you have to pay enough to lure them out of retirement. I think this probably where the "shortage" myth started. A whole lot of companies pick loser technologies and stay with them, only to see skills dwindle and disappear. Even if we taught a billion people how to "write code" they still wouldn't have niche skills that companies want - and you're right that no one will train anyone. They want an expert to come in, do work, and go away. But after a while, there are no experts, but the loser technology remains. Sad. Well, not really, I didn't know this company stuck on a multi-value database still existed, but whatever. I'm trying to be compassionate.
(E-mail me if you want a pizza roll!)
(Score: 3, Interesting) by stormreaver on Monday April 18 2016, @03:46PM
I saw a job posting for a company that was stuck with a multi-value database as the foundation of their whole company and felt a sort of compassion.
I was responsible for moving my company from UniVerse (a multi-value database) to PostgreSQL. The data conversion was a bitch, as UniVerse is perfectly happy with putting the first paragraph of War and Peace into a date field (or any field, for that matter). Data dictionaries are just for human consumption, whereas the database doesn't give a shit what you actually put in there.
We were stuck with UniVerse until our last Pick programmer (UniVerse is derived from Pick) retired suddenly. Then it was a race to modernize.
(Score: 2, Insightful) by Anonymous Coward on Monday April 18 2016, @06:21PM
I don't think it's so much of a problem of needing to pull anybody out of retirement for those systems as it is that companies don't seem to want to give somebody even a week to learn about their proprietary whoosawhatsit. I have yet to come across an information system that, no matter how shitty, proprietary, and stuck in the 80s (as in vendor is allergic to expose any kind of API or hooks, more talking about the mentality than any specific technology here) I couldn't figure out given reference materials and time.
Management most places seems utterly unwilling to realize that it's not experience with Enterprise Dsfargeg 16 Pro that makes somebody competent, it's competency with information systems in general. The specific software platform doesn't matter. Somebody can be a certified Enterprise Dsgargeg Black Belt Kung-Fu Master or whatever and still be utterly incompetent and only going through the robotic motions they learned in their Black Belt Kung-Fu Boot Camp.
So I think it's 100% that employers are unwilling to train. Not only that, but employers are unwilling to even allow a new hire to "train" himself! This whole tech shortage would go away overnight if 1.) employers would allow more telecommuting and be open to an employee that lives 2k+ miles away where the cost of living is reasonable 2.) hire tech workers on a probationary basis to allow them to learn whatever it is Enterprise Dsfargeg 16 Pro does and perhaps receive guidance and tips and tricks from whoever they have currently handling Enterprise Dsfargeg 3.) along with probationary hiring, gain a little fucking bit of sense about what it is that tech workers do and what a competent person behind a keyboard can add to an organization if they weren't dead-set on rejecting his every suggestion as "Oh, he's just a computer nerd."
Specifically about telecommuting, I can bet that perhaps companies in places like Seattle, Silicon Valley, and Boston really are experiencing a shortage. Well, duh. Why would I want to live somewhere that the cost of living is sky high? If companies in Seattle or the Valley in particular were more open to hiring remote workers (and really, I'm mostly a software developer so just about nothing about what I do needs more than git and ssh access). If the technology is mature enough that it's trivial for me to play Monster Hunter for example with the roommate on the couch in front of our sort-of video conference setup (just a big flat-panel TV and a webcam strapped to the top) and friends of friends from North Dakota, on the other side of the state, down in Atlanta (all in the same night!) face-to-face essentially (so much easier for somebody to call out that they're mounting or about to use an attack that may hit other players if not careful--also makes group communication about who needs what drop from what monster so easy), what's the big challenge for employers to have remote workers?
(Score: 2) by fido_dogstoyevsky on Monday April 18 2016, @10:48PM
...I didn't know this company stuck on a multi-value database still existed, but whatever. I'm trying to be compassionate.
Why? It's a self inflicted injury.
It's NOT a conspiracy... it's a plot.
(Score: 1) by fubari on Monday April 18 2016, @03:11PM
Maybe the job description writers are smarter than you give them credit for - video link [youtube.com].
excerpt: "Immigration attorneys from Cohen & Grigsby explains how they assist employers in running classified ads with the goal of NOT finding any qualified applicants, and the steps they go through to disqualify even the most qualified Americans in order to secure green cards for H-1b workers."
Is every overly specific job description fake?
Probably not.
Are some fake?
Maybe.
(Score: 2) by Thexalon on Monday April 18 2016, @10:51PM
Yeah, that video's out of date. You now no longer need to show that there aren't qualified Americans.
I looked that up after I started seeing ads pop up for agencies that quite specifically said they wanted H1-B visa holders only, and I immediately questioned their legality.
The only thing that stops a bad guy with a compiler is a good guy with a compiler.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday April 18 2016, @06:14PM
>experience doing meaningless work in in DFSDFGWREG,
No, but I have experience in DSFARGEG. http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/dsfargeg [knowyourmeme.com]
(Score: 5, Interesting) by Anonymous Coward on Monday April 18 2016, @12:59PM
You'd be surprised the shit we are willing to put up with, if we're just told about it up front.
In the old days, where nearly every job was manual labor, we had apprenticeships -- but more than that, we saw first hand how the jobs were done in the first place.
The fish skinner knew every gory detail. The young apprentice swung the heavy blacksmith's heaviest hammers to rough in the shapes the master smith would finish off.
Contrary to popular belief, most men are not afraid of hard and thankless work. We've been bred for it, and have sacrificed thus for millions of years to get to this point.
What causes us to leave is not the hard insanely tedious and soul sucking labor, but the deception and backstabbing and gossip... Interestingly, the things women are naturals at from the time they're young girls.
(Score: 2) by VLM on Monday April 18 2016, @01:16PM
Aside from the gender side track AC might be on to something. I mean, all enterprise software smells enterprisey. You're statistically not going to get a java or .net job that isn't like that. Maybe its assumed it'll be agile (aka micromanaged implementation of the opposite of the original manifesto) and it'll be some kind of open office hellhole where no one concentrates.
The other reason for the popularity is people probably want to hear the rest of the story. Surely there's some legal challenge somewhere and this is going to get entered as evidence where 90% of the current employees signed a statement that there's nothing factually inaccurate about the working conditions portrayed in the advertisement, therefore the contract is invalid or the former employee deserves compensation. Of course it'll probably get settled out of court before we get to hear who did what to who, but it sounds like fairly normal megacorporation enterprise software development.
I took two semesters of COBOL back in the school days and I don't even know what "managed cobol" is. Might be some kind of USA/UK separated by a common language thing, where all the UK know that "UK managed" translates directly to a dynamically linked library or an API on the USA side of the pond.
(Score: 2, Interesting) by niceholejohnson on Monday April 18 2016, @01:37PM
I took two semesters of COBOL back in the school days and I don't even know what "managed cobol" is.
Based on the .NET qualifications, I'm guessing it's COBOL for .NET.
Microsoft likes to refer to things as "Managed vs Unmanaged" instead of ".NET vs Native", possibly for clarification, since .NET bytecode is JIT-compiled into native machine code which makes the term "native" a bit more ambiguous. Basically, it's "managed" because it's managed by the CLR (.NET's equivalent of the JVM).
(Score: 2) by Marand on Tuesday April 19 2016, @12:45AM
I took two semesters of COBOL back in the school days and I don't even know what "managed cobol" is. Might be some kind of USA/UK separated by a common language thing, where all the UK know that "UK managed" translates directly to a dynamically linked library or an API on the USA side of the pond.
I hadn't heard of it either so I looked it up. Managed COBOL refers to COBOL implemented on either the CLR (.NET) or JVM with extensions for interop with the platform it's on. I'm guessing that it's called "managed" (as opposed to "native" COBOL) because those platforms are VMs with built-in memory management, but I couldn't find anything explaining the naming choice so that part is just speculation.
(Score: 2) by VLM on Tuesday April 19 2016, @12:54PM
Hmm interesting from the two responses I got, I now understand Microsoft Marketing Dept would call Clojure something like "managed lisp".
(Score: 2) by Marand on Wednesday April 20 2016, @12:37AM
Yeah, that's how I took it, too. In fact, I almost made that same comparison in my comment since Clojure's pretty well known and has both JVM and CLR versions. I took it out, though, because I was concerned it might just stir up off-topic argument about Clojure vs. traditional lisps since Clojure is sufficiently alien to both CL and Scheme to be considered a not-lisp by a lot of people.
I'm guessing those same marketing types could safely call IronScheme (.NET) or Kawa (JVM) "Managed Scheme" though. Tried to find a similar comparison for Common Lisp but wasn't having much luck with .NET versions; JVM has ABCL though, so a marketoid could call that "Managed Lisp" I suppose.
(Score: 3, Insightful) by bradley13 on Monday April 18 2016, @01:15PM
For grins, I just looked up the first job ad for a programmer that I could find. Some tidbits:
"As a member of a highly dynamic R&D team" - Hmmm...what do they mean by dynamic? Lots of office politics? One of those places that make you hot-desk, because they haven't got enough office space?
"...at the cutting edge of mobile security" immediately followed by "...designing, developing and maintaining native desktop applications for Windows and MacOS" - So which is it: mobile or desktop?
Really, these places need to fire their HR departments, and let the people actually doing the work write the ads.
Everyone is somebody else's weirdo.
(Score: 2) by c0lo on Monday April 18 2016, @01:40PM
Both. It has two sets of 4-axle rollers and, with a bit of effort, one can move it around.
In other words, it's beyond portable, it is transportable.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoFiw2jMy-0
(Score: 2) by c0lo on Monday April 18 2016, @01:44PM
Most of these ads are fake: it's just the agency getting a fresh CV set.
This is why the
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoFiw2jMy-0
(Score: 2) by butthurt on Tuesday April 19 2016, @11:30AM
I wonder whether the honest advert has attracted honest callers with honest CVs.
(Score: 5, Interesting) by VLM on Monday April 18 2016, @01:50PM
This could be a fun thread.
What I noticed in linkedin jobs is they massively downmarket. We need a data entry clerk or a reset button pressing monkey, lets ask for a director level employee and see what we get.
So my top job (supposedly) is a senior data center analyst where I'd have no direct reports and basically project manage contractors in India who do all the work, but they demand 7+ years of progressive (as opposed to right wing) data center management experience. So they're looking for a mid level manager who wants to drop back to front line project management. And they don't use Red Hat and the job descript wouldn't appear to involve being a redhat sysadmin, but they prefer RHCE although they don't use the keyword, perhaps out of fear of using a (tm) term or they're worried they might actually get qualified candidates. I guess 20 years of Debian experience and *BSD experience means I could never type as much as "ls" at a console of holiness running red hat.
Another weird job wants a senior software dev (OK I guess thats me) with "expert knowledge" of, well, everything from langs to DB to algos in a general non-specific sense. Well, thats not me, I feel expert level is like Martin Odersky for a Scala job or hiring RMS to admin your emacs installation. But this is "HR" expert where they just mean 2+ years experience, so I'm OK. Then I notice they don't mention the languages they use other than CSS and HTML, so I guess frontend web dev instead of a "real" programmer job? And they demand I use visual studio or eclipse, so they need a tool operator not a developer. And they have a mandatory physical requirement on the req of a typing test at 40 WPM (what is this data entry?). And they do devops so I'd be doing sysadmin work on both the dev and prod servers while being on call for prod servers (what is this an ops job? F that.) . And they really want someone with distribution industry experience (so... they want a former truck driver? I work in industries that deliver lots of bits, ones and zeros...) Oh and I'll be supporting SAP for the HR and accountant people. Its a ridiculous job ad... they want an expert level front end web dev who uses VS or eclipse to write HTML, who doesn't want to work web dev anymore (at least not at expert level) because he's gonna spend all his work and free time sysadmining prod oracle and SAP servers, while typing data entry at a tested minimum of 40 WPM as I reminisce about my former job, which was truck driver (therefore I'm not qualified, because obviously you can't use VS or write HTML or admin SAP without previous distribution industry experience). Its pretty much a WTF top to bottom.
I can see that my next job is going to be a contractor gig or the usual "friend of a friend" I've been doing for a quarter century, because HR just can't hire experienced IT people, all they can produce is a WTF word salad.
I suppose I could have continued mining linkedin, but my third job (admittedly marked as sponsored) was a railroad "equipment operator", which is about what it sounds. Apparently the sponsored link keyed off my SONET/fiber former career when the job listed locating and working around buried cables and buried fiber. Great job linkedin, you sure are worth being a billion dollar company.
(Score: 2) by tangomargarine on Monday April 18 2016, @02:46PM
What drove me nuts recently was when you run across a "software engineer" job listing and it's all JavaScript and web bullshit.
"Is that really true?" "I just spent the last hour telling you to think for yourself! Didn't you hear anything I said?"
(Score: 3, Insightful) by tibman on Monday April 18 2016, @02:59PM
What would the appropriate job title be?
SN won't survive on lurkers alone. Write comments.
(Score: 5, Insightful) by Common Joe on Monday April 18 2016, @03:31PM
Web developer
(Score: 5, Funny) by TheRaven on Monday April 18 2016, @05:57PM
sudo mod me up
(Score: 4, Funny) by PizzaRollPlinkett on Monday April 18 2016, @01:37PM
I couldn't help but wonder what Managed COBOL was. This link answers my question:
http://community.microfocus.com/microfocus/cobol/visual_cobol/w/wiki/470.managed-cobol-an-overview.aspx [microfocus.com]
In other words, MicroFocus COBOL, which somehow still exists as a thing, has taken the awfulness of COBOL and merged it with the awfulness of .NET to create something that will cause me nightmares for the rest of my life. I'm not sure you could pay anyone enought to work with this.
But this is not your typical .NET code monkey job, if it requires COBOL and legacy experience. I don't know how many people have ever used MicroFocus COBOL, but it can't be many.
In the 1990s, MicroFocus made such missteps as buying the XDB clone of DB2 for developers on non-mainframe platforms right before IBM released DB2 Universal Database on non-mainframe platforms. MicroFocus was a hot potato in the M&A world in the 2000s, and I think was spun off into its own company. Both MicroFocus and Fujitsu sell COBOL compilers for non-mainframe platforms. Any time you see a news article about COBOL or migrating off the mainframe, it's almost always planted by MicroFocus. There's usually one every year or two.
I will say the original MicroFocus COBOL compiler was not a bad product. I have never heard of this .NET thing, but their Linux compiler was decent. It's just no one in their right minds would use COBOL. Especially since MicroFocus has "enterprise" pricing for what amounts to an old COBOL compiler, when Java and C# are free.
(E-mail me if you want a pizza roll!)
(Score: 2) by tangomargarine on Monday April 18 2016, @02:49PM
Our Comp Sci CIS program at my 4-year college was still teaching using that when I graduated in 2012. I took a course in it :P
Apparently Object-Oriented COBOL is also a thing. Only it's some sort of horrible abomination, I was told by one of the CIS guys (well, more horrible an abomination than some people already think OO is, I guess).
"Is that really true?" "I just spent the last hour telling you to think for yourself! Didn't you hear anything I said?"
(Score: 2) by PizzaRollPlinkett on Monday April 18 2016, @02:58PM
Thanks, now I need to get the shock treatments again. OO COBOL is a thing. It's so hideously bad I needed years of therapy to get over it. It's like any other OO thing, but with verbose keywords for everything like methods, interfaces, members, and so on. For some reason, it never caught on.
(E-mail me if you want a pizza roll!)
(Score: 3, Funny) by tangomargarine on Monday April 18 2016, @03:42PM
For some reason, it never caught on.
Inexplicably vestiges of sanity remained? :)
"Is that really true?" "I just spent the last hour telling you to think for yourself! Didn't you hear anything I said?"
(Score: 4, Funny) by TheRaven on Monday April 18 2016, @06:00PM
You know the old joke:
There's a new object-oriented dialect of COBOL. It's called Add One to COBOL And Return COBOL.
sudo mod me up
(Score: 2) by Marand on Tuesday April 19 2016, @01:00AM
Apparently Object-Oriented COBOL is also a thing.
Mark my words: next stop, FUNCOBOL [theregister.co.uk]
(Score: 4, Informative) by Gravis on Monday April 18 2016, @04:57PM
"enterprise" pricing for what amounts to an old COBOL compiler, when Java and C# are free.
neither Java nor C# are free, they are both heavily engulfed in legal quagmires. You literally could have named several dozen other languages and called them free but you chose two of the worst ones out there. ಠ_ಠ
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday April 18 2016, @05:47PM
they are both heavily engulfed in legal quagmires.
Yeah when I am looking for a job that is the first thing that comes to mind.
(Score: 2) by PizzaRollPlinkett on Monday April 18 2016, @07:34PM
Java is free, since it's been open-sourced. But I meant "free as in to a manager" - a manager would see the "enterprise" pricetag of MicroFocus COBOL and the zero-cost of Java or C# (which I picked because they are "enterprise" or manager-style languages), and have an easy decision. (COBOL was free before that meant anything, a product of CODASYL, whatever that stood for, an industry group that was so tired of proprietary languages they created a common language for business.)
(E-mail me if you want a pizza roll!)
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday April 19 2016, @02:30AM
Java is free, since it's been open-sourced
Does Oracle know that? Ask Google (Android) how that's being working out for them.
(Score: 2) by butthurt on Tuesday April 19 2016, @11:26AM
Your mention of "'enterprise' pricing" made your meaning clear.
(Score: 2) by jmorris on Monday April 18 2016, @09:10PM
So you really think any of that crap matters for the sort of internal use corporate code under discussion here? Oracle is going to start kicking down doors looking at internal code written in Java and demanding royalties? Not likely, they are unpopular enough now, the merest hint of that kind of lawfare would get everything produced by them shunned.
(Score: 3, Funny) by OwMyBrain on Monday April 18 2016, @01:51PM
Experience with the following technologies: ...JavaScript...
...a reckless disregard for type safety.
I find these statements redundant.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday April 18 2016, @03:59PM
= assignment
== compare apples to oranges
=== apples to apples
(Score: 2) by JNCF on Monday April 18 2016, @05:21PM
= assignment
== compare apples to oranges
=== apples to apples
=== positive apples to negative apples when there aren't any positive or negative apples
0 === -0 // true
1 / 0 // Infinity
1 / -0 // -Infinity
(Score: 5, Insightful) by looorg on Monday April 18 2016, @02:08PM
If only all employment ads was like that it would really cut down on the bullshit decoding one has to do when finding a new job. Reading employment ads is like reading a letter to Santa from a small child - they want everything, they are perfect and they'll give nothing in return.
(Score: 4, Insightful) by bitstream on Monday April 18 2016, @02:29PM
HR is small people in big bodies? ;-)
(Score: 2) by GungnirSniper on Monday April 18 2016, @03:45PM
It's not always HR's fault. I've had a VP insist on adding a college degree requirement without any real need for it. My guess it was to argue the pay should reflect that, even if we didn't really need a degreed person for that role.
Tips for better submissions to help our site grow. [soylentnews.org]
(Score: 2) by bitstream on Tuesday April 19 2016, @03:01AM
Seems there's a decision maker group that just lack touch with reality, I recall a list at the green site on invention ideas. It was a wtf!?. The skills to duck these things in the workplace is a useful skill.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday April 18 2016, @02:28PM
I can picture the guy with a British accent excitedly reading the "IT job of the week" from a card while job seekers queue up outside his door.
(Score: 3, Funny) by Capt. Obvious on Monday April 18 2016, @02:33PM
I assume they're running the COBOL in an emulator written in JS (made in house, and therefore buggy) which then sends the results back for storage/distribution via ASP.NET. I assume the reason for this is that they destroyed most of the servers with processing power, and this is just a way to put those extra cycles on desktop machines to use.
(Score: 2) by JNCF on Monday April 18 2016, @05:08PM
They put the COBOL in the comments of the JavaScript [github.com], obviously.
(Score: 2) by Kromagv0 on Tuesday April 19 2016, @03:54PM
Where's my fucking shotgun. I'm not sure if I now need to blow my own brains out for reading that or someone else brains out for writing that. They are adding badges and ASCII art so probably someone else's brain.
T-Shirts and bumper stickers [zazzle.com] to offend someone
(Score: 5, Insightful) by fadrian on Monday April 18 2016, @04:38PM
Applicants must be younger than 40 yo. Being female or minority is currently a political plus for entry into this industry - please apply. We don't want to know about anything else. Really, please - don't share. We keep our employees from having a life on purpose.
That is all.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday April 18 2016, @11:26PM
"Jaguar. Sleek and smart. For men who would like handjobs from beautiful women they hardly know."
IMDB link [imdb.com]