Python in Thai toilet gives man nasty shock:
A Thai man is recovering in hospital after a 3m (10ft) python emerged from a squat toilet and sank its teeth into his penis.
Attaporn Boonmakchuay said the python was "yanking very hard" as he and his wife tried to wrestle it off. The incident happened as Mr Attaporn, 38, went to the toilet at his home in Chachoengsao province, east of Bangkok, before leaving for work on Wednesday.As he used the toilet he said he suddenly felt a sharp pain. "I felt as though my penis had been severed. The snake was yanking very hard," he said, according to the Bangkok Post. As the python tried to pull him down, he called for his wife and neighbours to help him, the post reported. Mr Attaporn told Thai TV that his wife tied a rope around the snake and he pried its jaws open before passing out.
(Score: 1, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday May 28 2016, @03:47PM
Sure, Mr. Attaporn was just using the toilet and not wanking his yang.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday May 28 2016, @04:09PM
Father and son sexual relations are nothing to joke about.
(Score: 2, Funny) by anon on Saturday May 28 2016, @03:49PM
Isn't it PyPy?
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday May 28 2016, @04:01PM
Use python 2m.
(Score: 2, Touché) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday May 28 2016, @04:04PM
(Score: 5, Funny) by maxwell demon on Saturday May 28 2016, @04:14PM
Well, I for one am glad of the warning. In the future I'll prefer Perl on the toilet.
The Tao of math: The numbers you can count are not the real numbers.
(Score: 1, Interesting) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday May 28 2016, @05:46PM
Whether you agree with it or not plumbing is still considered important technology. That, plus the "Python upgrade" jokes, is what makes this Soylentable.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday May 28 2016, @08:34PM
...which also involved a serpent.
Indian Farmer Survives Viper Bite to Penis [soylentnews.org]
Apparently, this is common enough that precautions|defensive measures should be standard practice.
-- OriginalOwner_ [soylentnews.org]
(Score: 2) by wonkey_monkey on Saturday May 28 2016, @04:14PM
Thai Toilet Python Bites Man in the... Uh...
In the bathroom, but on the penis.
systemd is Roko's Basilisk
(Score: 2) by fishybell on Saturday May 28 2016, @05:30PM
That's not what it says. That's why this is news. The 3m python struck with such precision it bit the man in his penis. Nature is a majestic beast indeed.
(Score: 2) by butthurt on Saturday May 28 2016, @06:07PM
I think the headline may be a joke. It sets us up to think of the expression "bite in the ass" [onlineslangdictionary.com] but then there's the penis surprise.
(Score: 3, Funny) by wonkey_monkey on Saturday May 28 2016, @08:09PM
Is... is that how you got your name...?
systemd is Roko's Basilisk
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday May 28 2016, @08:35PM
Just wait until you learn how butthurt got his penis surprise.
(Score: 1) by anubi on Sunday May 29 2016, @09:39AM
First thing that came to mind [tumblr.com] ( Image from King of the Hill )
"Prove all things; hold fast that which is good." [KJV: I Thessalonians 5:21]
(Score: 2) by RamiK on Saturday May 28 2016, @04:23PM
the python to choke him... But couldn't grab a knife to chop it's head off?
I blame 50 shades of gray.
compiling...
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday May 28 2016, @05:49PM
Is that what the kids are calling these days?
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday May 29 2016, @07:30AM
Sounds like a "female friendly" version of tentacle porn. Meh, not into myself.
(Score: 1) by anubi on Sunday May 29 2016, @08:45AM
Here. [youtube.com]
"Prove all things; hold fast that which is good." [KJV: I Thessalonians 5:21]
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday May 29 2016, @12:20PM
A related one there with more text: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GmxpLZXQEGE [youtube.com]
"Published on May 26, 2016
Tailand man bitten by python snake while on toilet
A Thai man is recovering in hospital after being attacked by a nine-foot (three metres) python while sitting on the toilet.
Attaporn Boonmakchuay suffered a three-inch (eight cm) wound after being bit on the penis by the snake which had crawled up through the plumbing.
The excruciating ordeal lasted half an hour before he managed to prise open the snake's jaws and escape.
Mr Boonmakchuay described how he fought the snake as his wife sought help but, even after a neighbour came to his aid with a knife and rope, he only managed to free himself only when the python momentarily lost its strength.
He said: "All of a sudden, while I was holding it, it began to lose some strength so I used my hand to prise open its mouth. Then the snake released its grip by itself."
The 38-year-old needed stitches but medical staff say that he should make a full recovery.
A doctor from the Chachoengsao hospital, near Bangkok, said that victim was "lucky", adding: "if the bite had gone into the urinary tract it would have been a big problem."
Rescue workers managed to eventually release the snake after using hammers to free it from the toilet.
Large snakes are common even in urban areas of Thailand, particularly during the onset of the rainy season when they leave flooded areas for drier ground."
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday May 31 2016, @06:49AM
Imagine a time before toilets, living outdoors, where the predation upon penises is pretty prevalent.
TFA is just nature reminding men why its smarter to stand and pee: So you can see what you're pissing on.
I imagine the poor python was pissed.