Twinkies and cockroaches.
Those two things stand out among items that, short of blunt force trauma, are rumored to be invulnerable to the forces of decay and habitat destruction, according to popular folklore.
An ongoing unscientific, four-decade experiment at George Stevens Academy is helping to feed that perception of the confection.
It was in 1976 when then-chemistry teacher Roger Bennatti took a freshly unwrapped Twinkie and, in a spontaneous moment of science education, placed it on top of a chalkboard in his classroom so he and his students could see how long it would take to decompose.
That question, however, remains unanswered to this day, with said Twinkie having outlasted both Bennatti's teaching career and Interstate Bakeries Corp., the original company that churned out the cream-filled snack cakes from 1930 until it filed for bankruptcy in 2012. This is despite the fact that, according to NPR, the official shelf life of Twinkies (as stated by the company that now makes them) is only a few weeks.
-- submitted from IRC
(Score: 2) by Runaway1956 on Sunday June 26 2016, @06:35PM
When she dies, will the remains decompose, or will she be effectively mummified by all the Twinkies she has eaten?
Abortion is the number one killed of children in the United States.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday June 26 2016, @09:48PM
Hot dogs (wieners) have so many preservatives that if you eat a lot in your lifetime, your body won't decompose as fast after you die.
(Score: 4, Touché) by black6host on Sunday June 26 2016, @10:38PM
Sooooo, in the event of your murder they'd have to know how many hot dogs you eat to determine time of death? hehe
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday June 27 2016, @07:32PM
That would be an odd question for investigators to ask family members.
"Before your husband died ... did he eat a lot of hotdogs? What about Twinkies? About how many a day did he eat?"
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday June 27 2016, @07:35PM
So the cause of death may help investigators determine the time of death ...
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday June 26 2016, @10:38PM
Bullshit.
(Score: 1) by kurenai.tsubasa on Monday June 27 2016, @03:51AM
Try carrot dogs instead. All the same condiments work. Plus, a grilled carrot (10 minutes medium flame) has a very distinct, satisfying taste you won't find in the meat slurry that goes into cheap “hotdogs.” Pile up jalapeño peppers (habanero if you dare!, serranos will also work), cheese, mustard, ketchup, relish, you name it. The carrot dog is the way to go. Well, there are also actual beef/chicken sausages you could use.
(Score: 2) by Kromagv0 on Monday June 27 2016, @01:25PM
satisfying taste you won't find in the meat slurry that goes into cheap “hotdogs.”
I refer to those as hoof and snout sticks as they really aren't much better. I do prefer a good course ground sausage that isn't made from finely textured meat product and filler but I make make a lot of veggies on the grill as well. My personal favorite is a sweet yellow onion cooked on the grill and will frequently cook one when grilling meat because they go great with everything you would grill.
T-Shirts and bumper stickers [zazzle.com] to offend someone
(Score: 2) by Reziac on Monday June 27 2016, @05:02AM
I once forgot a package of Little Smokies (mini sausages) in the trunk of my car. There they stayed all through a very hot summer, to be rediscovered some six months later.
They were not only still intact, but also looked and smelled perfectly edible. How they might taste or the level of toxins they may have developed, I declined to investigate.
And there is no Alkibiades to come back and save us from ourselves.
(Score: 1, Touché) by Anonymous Coward on Monday June 27 2016, @01:05PM
(Score: 3, Insightful) by Joe Desertrat on Monday June 27 2016, @04:43PM
Nothing helps a fat person feel better like talking about them all the time.
Well, they can always console themselves with Twinkies or some such...
(Score: 2) by DECbot on Saturday July 02 2016, @03:02PM
I console myself with pop tarts you insensitive clod!
cats~$ sudo chown -R us /home/base
(Score: 2) by Joe Desertrat on Friday July 08 2016, @07:48PM
Try taking two Pop Tarts and squishing a Twinkie between them.
(Score: 2) by HiThere on Monday June 27 2016, @05:31PM
It may be more significant how much dry breakfast cereal was eaten, as that's usually with BHA and BHT added to preserve fressness. During the VietNam war US corpses decomposed much slower than Vietnamese corpses due to anti-oxidants in the diet. (Going from this observation to the assertion of any effects on health is only speculation. Some effect is probable, but what isn't clear. It could be the immune system was less effective at fighting infections, as oxidants (well, hydrogen peroxide) is one of the main general tools used by the immune system.)
Javascript is what you use to allow unknown third parties to run software you have no idea about on your computer.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday June 26 2016, @06:35PM
Will burning the fuel derived from a Twinkie be any less bad for the environment than just burning the Twinkies themselves or in combination with natural gas in mixed fuel plants?
.
I ran a 8 year experiment back in the 80s when one of the grocery stores was singing the praises of their bio-degradable Twinkies. Tacked a couple to the sunny side of a shed, and staked a couple more on the ground. Ten years later my wife took them down and threw them in the recycle when we moved out of that house.
Statute of limitations on false advertising had already expired.
(Score: 1, Insightful) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday June 26 2016, @07:35PM
And thus, a meme is born.
(Score: 2) by aristarchus on Sunday June 26 2016, @08:45PM
Tacked a couple to the sunny side of a shed,
And thus, a meme is born.
Thanks, Obama!!! I mean, frojack!
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday June 26 2016, @11:34PM
You mean something like thins? Always Look On The Sunny Side of the Shed [youtube.com]
(Score: 1, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Monday June 27 2016, @03:22AM
Now, I've noticed a tendency for this forum to get rather silly. Now I do my best to keep things moving along, but I'm not having things getting silly. Those two last posts I did got very silly indeed, and that last one about the shed was even sillier. Now, nobody likes a good laugh more than I do… except perhaps my wife and some of her friends… oh yes and Captain Johnston. Come to think of it most people likes a good laugh more than I do. But that's beside the point. Now, let's have a good clean healthy outdoor sketch. Get some air into your lungs. Ten, nine, eight and all that.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday June 26 2016, @07:25PM
are forever
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday June 26 2016, @11:13PM
Diamonds are NOT forever. Try placing them in a fire.
(Score: 2, Touché) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday June 26 2016, @11:35PM
Or getting one back from your ex.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday June 26 2016, @11:44PM
Michael Pollan has written several books, [google.com] a number of those about food.
The one I thought of is "Food Rules -- An Eater's Manual". [treehugger.com]
His bottom line there is "Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants."
His 64 food rules include such gems as
2. Don't eat anything your great-grandmother wouldn't recognise as food.
13. Eat only foods that eventually will rot.
36. Don't eat breakfast cereals that change the color of the milk.
39. Don't get your fuel from the same place your car does.
-- OriginalOwner_ [soylentnews.org]
(Score: 2) by JNCF on Monday June 27 2016, @07:01PM
13. Eat only foods that eventually will rot.
Honey is known to keep good after spending 3,000 years in a pyramid, yet I would be very surprised if Michael Pollan classified wild honey as "not-food." I still think it's a generally healthy rule to follow in the present day (future foods may be a different case).
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday June 26 2016, @07:40PM
Ain't nothing like aged twinkie.
(Score: 2) by cykros on Monday June 27 2016, @02:51AM
Except there is. A brand new twinkie.
(Score: 3, Interesting) by VLM on Sunday June 26 2016, @08:27PM
The chemistry behind this is semi-interesting.
The foam is a whipped fat and will oxidize if its not fully saturated (has double bonds .. essentially paint turning solid or curing a some glues/plastics) Also the cake part is pretty greasy.
The sugary cake is just a fluffy hardtack, isn't it? That makes it infinite life?
Note that almost anything if left to dry out will mummify if you're careful. Twinkies are not exactly watery, but it doesn't take much effort to dry grapes or strawberries.
I would have expected bugs to attack. Sugar is sugar and ants SHOULD like it.
I'm curious if theres any other interesting chemistry going on in there.
(Score: 1, Interesting) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday June 26 2016, @09:14PM
The sugar has probably decomposed at this point into something else. Sugar if left alone is 'ok' for about 2 years. The other things in it though if properly sealed will last for years.
(Score: 1, Interesting) by Anonymous Coward on Monday June 27 2016, @12:16AM
it wasnt sealed, though. it dessicated faster than molds or bacteria, which need moisture, could grow. I had similar results with McDonald's hamburger chunks found months after the fact under kids' carseats back in the day. Chicken nuggets similar too.
granted, I could not check the meat bits for bacteria growth, but would not eat the dessicated bits. that seems on the far stupid side of bravery/stupidity line.
(Score: 2) by VLM on Monday June 27 2016, @12:36PM
Sugar is forever, pretty stable molecule. You're probably thinking of the unsaturated fats. Even saturated fats will go rancid sooner or later.
(Score: 2) by Nerdfest on Sunday June 26 2016, @10:19PM
Aren't there all sorts of stabilizers and other chemicals in there as well?
(Score: 1, Interesting) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday June 26 2016, @10:47PM
There are. http://blog.fooducate.com/2010/06/11/a-visual-of-twinkies-37-ingredients/ [fooducate.com]
One of them is salt. A tried and true taste enhancer and good for adding shelf life.
So long as nothing really decomposes and the ingredients are not very active things can last awhile. They will not taste very good. Something with aspartame in it and its old I would stay away from.
(Score: 4, Informative) by bzipitidoo on Monday June 27 2016, @01:46AM
Is the official shelf life credible? It seems a conflict of interest at the least. Why wouldn't the manufacturer say the shelf life is much less than is actually the case, on the idea that will increase sales, to replace "bad" Twinkies?
Besides, Hostess went bankrupt not because of market loss or price shocks or any external events. Upper management trashed the company's value in the process of transferring its money to themselves. Had the company borrow to the max, pocketed all that money, and cut loose to leave the company to default and die when it couldn't repay the loans. If the shelf life was calculated when those people were running the company, that only makes their numbers even more suspect.
(Score: 2) by Capt. Obvious on Monday June 27 2016, @06:09AM
Also, can you imagine the lawsuits if it was no longer safe to eat but still sold.
But yes, expiration dates are sometimes BS (thanks to NJ, everything, even water, gets them) and sometimes very important. Hope you can tell the difference!
(Score: 2) by NCommander on Monday June 27 2016, @09:48AM
Wait? Really?
Water has a shelf life in NJ? I can suppose they can make a case of the container breaking down and leaking bad things into it, but I really want to see a pic of this.
Still always moving
(Score: 2) by VLM on Monday June 27 2016, @12:46PM
Check any lifeboat, if you're in a "maritime" area. Even department or outdoor stores near a coast "probably" have stuff like this in the boat supply aisles.
http://survitecgroup.com/products/emergency-drinking-water [survitecgroup.com]
The link above is to a "capri sun" style mylar pack but most of the lifeboat water I've seen is in juice box packages that stack and pack nicely.
Partially its the usual plastic sitting out in the sun at 160 degrees for years effect as you mention, partially its the container not being terribly durable and occasionally being UV exposed such that under "normal lifeboat conditions" maybe you can expect a 1% failure rate in ten years or whatever.
Also my kitchen pantry has nothing weird in it (I suppose) however boat supplies could sit in a fog of diesel and gas vapors or paint fumes, so impervious to the vapors of VLMs kitchen just isn't good enough for a boat.
And yes the coast guard guys will frown if your lifeboat supplies have expired, just like expiration date of band aids in the first aid kit or anything else they can get picky about. Seriously your water expired three years ago implying nobody has inspected the lifeboat for sea worthiness for over three years? We better go over the whole boat with a fine toothed comb...
(Score: 2) by Capt. Obvious on Monday June 27 2016, @06:47PM
All foodstuffs for human consumption, including water, need expiration dates in NJ. Because it's easier to slap it on all the products at the factory, they are nationwide. Check your water.
I don't think I've ever seen a bottle of water without one anywhere in the US.