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posted by cmn32480 on Sunday July 24 2016, @08:29PM   Printer-friendly
from the been-fun-knowing-you dept.

Submitted via IRC for TheMightyBuzzard

There are so many factors to consider when choosing where to buy a home—average home price, proximity to work, and obviously the odds of surviving a zombie apocalypse. That's why Estately Real Estate Search mapped out which states are the safest to live in if an army of the undead were to suddenly rise from their graves in search of brains to eat. To do this, we ranked each U.S. state from 1-50 using the following five criteria, and then averaged the results to create our final ranking.

  • Fewest people per square mile
  • Gun owners per capita
  • Percentage who are cremated instead of buried
  • Percentage of population that is physically active
  • Interest in the zombie media genre

Source: http://blog.estately.com/2016/07/does-your-state-have-what-it-takes-to-survive-a-zombie-apocalypse/


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  • (Score: 4, Funny) by Hartree on Sunday July 24 2016, @08:52PM

    by Hartree (195) on Sunday July 24 2016, @08:52PM (#379499)

    I'm 20 miles from the Indiana border and I doubt I'm that much less safer here than if I drive 21 miles.

    Illinois gets all of Chicago lumped in with it to raise population even though much of it's rural.

    Besides, I've got a backhoe and the guy down the street has a fuel truck. Give us a short time at the local cemetery and we can take care of that little cremation problem. ;)

    • (Score: 2) by driverless on Monday July 25 2016, @06:00AM

      by driverless (4770) on Monday July 25 2016, @06:00AM (#379673)

      The assessment method is also a bit dubious. "Gun owners per capita"? So you end up with redneck zombies [youtube.com] with guns? In any case my entire country is safe, we have this guy [youtube.com]. "I kick ass for the LORD!".

    • (Score: 2) by Alfred on Monday July 25 2016, @01:21PM

      by Alfred (4006) on Monday July 25 2016, @01:21PM (#379788) Journal
      Yes, this should be done a per county basis. I would rather see a number of bodies in the ground factor instead of % cremated one too.
  • (Score: 3, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 24 2016, @08:53PM

    by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 24 2016, @08:53PM (#379500)

    If they looking for brains we're safe.

  • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 24 2016, @08:55PM

    by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 24 2016, @08:55PM (#379501)

    Can you guess which?

    Oh, and zombies aren't real, right, nevermind.

    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 24 2016, @09:34PM

      by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 24 2016, @09:34PM (#379526)

      D.C.?

    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 24 2016, @11:27PM

      by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 24 2016, @11:27PM (#379553)

      Florida.

      • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 25 2016, @01:04AM

        by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 25 2016, @01:04AM (#379607)

        Yeah I moved from Florida as well. To New Hampshire. Didn't choose well, should have moved one state to the east, Maine. Oh well, nothing stopping me from heading that direction.

  • (Score: 1, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 24 2016, @09:01PM

    by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 24 2016, @09:01PM (#379504)

    How do you beat them? Eat them.

    Gilroy, CA, will do good, coz they are "the garlic capital of the world".

    • (Score: -1, Troll) by Ethanol-fueled on Sunday July 24 2016, @10:13PM

      by Ethanol-fueled (2792) on Sunday July 24 2016, @10:13PM (#379531) Homepage

      How will my city survive a mass Black Lives Matter protest, you ask?

      Well, San Diego should be okay, they have a shitload of White and Hispanic Marines with guns and ships to seek refuge offshore.

      L.A., though, will be utterly fucked unless we fly in more armed Koreans to the local rooftops. Why bother, though? That's one hell-hole which should be nuked from orbit.

      • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 24 2016, @10:40PM

        by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 24 2016, @10:40PM (#379540)

        I'm sure it will be with Clinton in office….

      • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 24 2016, @10:57PM

        by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 24 2016, @10:57PM (#379545)

        That should be parts of San Diego will be OK. El Cajon (meth capitol of the world) is already full of meth zombies, as long as they don't wander next door to Lakeside (the Texas of Cali) which is full of shitkicking cowboys. North Park, you might catch something worse than zombie fever. Wander further south and you run into the zombies migrating across the border. I'd personally head east to Anza-Borrego desert.

    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 25 2016, @02:05AM

      by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 25 2016, @02:05AM (#379624)

      Personally I might add some molasses or switch the jalapeños for habaneros, and depending on whether they were a frequent McDonald's customer may need some salt to bring out the flavors, but I recommend this recipe [imgur.com] as a starting point.

  • (Score: 2, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 24 2016, @09:01PM

    by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 24 2016, @09:01PM (#379505)

    Not so much zombies, but I've considered areas that would have a decent chance of rebuilding civilization, or at least maintaining it.

    Criteria:

    Wide knowledge base- should be able to manage everything from animal husbandry to building a power plant

    Farms close by- or more accurately farmers. Eventually even the Twinkies will go bad.

    Colleges close by- more for their libraries and labs. And researchers.

    Rural- you want people that are self-reliant. Most urban dwellers aren't.

    Access to natural resources- even garbage dumps will be goldmines should everything fall apart.

    Climate- mostly good rainfall

    I pictured large cities becoming war zones (too many people, too few resources), several small towns managing okay especially since they aren't on anyone's radar as being resource rich, and college towns becoming the new epicenters of culture and trade.

    There's a place that has a used media store next door to a liquor store. That will be the headquarters of my new republic.

    • (Score: 2) by mhajicek on Sunday July 24 2016, @09:15PM

      by mhajicek (51) on Sunday July 24 2016, @09:15PM (#379511)

      The CDC has said that if you're prepared for a zombie apocalypse you're also prepared for several more likely disasters, including disease, famine, war, or long term utility outages.

      Last year we had a three day power outage for a several mile radius here. Food could not be purchased anywhere in the outage, since refrigerators, computers, and cash registers were down. Expand that one order of magnitude each in size and time and you have a real scenario.

      --
      The spacelike surfaces of time foliations can have a cusp at the surface of discontinuity. - P. Hajicek
      • (Score: 1, Interesting) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 24 2016, @09:32PM

        by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 24 2016, @09:32PM (#379525)

        Yeah, I had gone through about a week of the utilities being out during a bad winter storm. Turns out the house is reasonably well insulted. Harvested ice to keep the food from perishing. And an old transistor radio ended up being my lifeline to the outside world.

        The one thing I didn't not expect was how crucial communication was. You hear from friends which places were still open for business in neighboring towns, people would pile in one guy's pickup to get around, and most people weren't dicks buying out a store's supply. Most people only took what they needed.

        And someone could at least get word to someone else to notify your family that you were okay.

        And there was an actual caravan of people huffing booze in shopping carts down the street. Good times.

        • (Score: 2, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 24 2016, @09:40PM

          by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 24 2016, @09:40PM (#379527)

          Turns out the house is reasonably well insulted.

          I don't see how swearing at it helps during a winter storm, but whatever keeps you warm, I guess.

          • (Score: 2) by mhajicek on Monday July 25 2016, @02:20AM

            by mhajicek (51) on Monday July 25 2016, @02:20AM (#379627)

            To be fair I'd feel insulted too if I were a house and my utilities had been out for a week.

            --
            The spacelike surfaces of time foliations can have a cusp at the surface of discontinuity. - P. Hajicek
        • (Score: 2, Insightful) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 24 2016, @10:38PM

          by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 24 2016, @10:38PM (#379538)

          Yes, communication. Look to ham radio operators to be coordinating if something major happens.

          • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 25 2016, @12:30AM

            by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 25 2016, @12:30AM (#379587)

            And in turn, ham operators will look to the postal services to deliver the inevitable QSL cards. Never mind the zombies, the mail will get through.

    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 25 2016, @12:20AM

      by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 25 2016, @12:20AM (#379580)

      I pictured large cities becoming war zones

      Washington, Baltimore and Chicago already are, don't you know? Although it's black on black violence. As a very astute person has noted,
      In our nation’s capital, killings have risen by 50 per cent. They are up nearly 60 per cent in nearby Baltimore. In the President’s hometown of Chicago, more than 2,000 people have been the victims of shootings this year alone. And almost 4,000 have been killed in the Chicago area since he took office.

      • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 25 2016, @02:00AM

        by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 25 2016, @02:00AM (#379623)

        We generally refer to southern Chicago as Chiraq. It's pretty bad. North of Chiraq is still safe enough: gay district, Chinatown, Koreatown, museums/planetarium/aquarium, etc still good places to visit.

  • (Score: 2, Disagree) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 24 2016, @09:09PM

    by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 24 2016, @09:09PM (#379509)

    If you're concerned about a zombie apocalypse, you're still a kid. And you shouldn't be granted the responsibility to buy a house!
    Really... zombies? Idiots (*)!!!!!

    (*) An idiot is someone with an IQ of 25 or less... I'm using this term deliberately!

    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 24 2016, @11:25PM

      by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 24 2016, @11:25PM (#379551)

      Wouldn't you know it? I own a couple of buildings. And I have my zombie preparedness plan down to my shooting perches.

      Turns out people are willing to pay for a mix of being able to plan in detail and think somewhat creatively. Who would have thunk it?*

      *Makes no claims to being responsible. Still has Tinker Toys around the house. But everything is paid off, which is the only responsibility that matters.

  • (Score: 2, Funny) by ShadowSystems on Sunday July 24 2016, @09:20PM

    by ShadowSystems (6185) <reversethis-{moc ... {smetsySwodahS}> on Sunday July 24 2016, @09:20PM (#379514)

    Given all the brainless zombie-fodder in Los Angeles / Hollywood, San Francisco, San Jose, San Bernardino, Silicon Valley, Sacramento, et al, once they become actual zombies & start scraping the land clean of anyone/everyone WITH a brain in their head, there won't be so much as a three-legged half-blind cockroach left to call it home.
    I envy you folks in high elevations with your easily fortifiable/defendable homes.
    I envy you folks with access to Twinkies to sustain you & CostCo shelves of Mountain Dew to drink.
    I loathe you smug bastards with your chainsaws, chain guns, hoardes of ammo & fuel & flamethrowers, since I can't see to aim & do likewise.
    California is screwed. We'll be awash in 50 foot tall Christina Aguilara's(sp?) with their arms extended & twerking for braaaaiiiiiiiinsss...
    *Runs & hides*
     

    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 24 2016, @09:22PM

      by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 24 2016, @09:22PM (#379516)

      Pssssh. Garlic. It's what kills stuff. Ask my ex.

  • (Score: 2) by isostatic on Sunday July 24 2016, @10:36PM

    by isostatic (365) Subscriber Badge on Sunday July 24 2016, @10:36PM (#379536) Journal

    Weat Virginia is top of the list in "interest in zombies". Normal Virginia is bottom.

    Are these figures real?

    (Of course not, it's just cheap marketing)

    • (Score: 2) by Reziac on Monday July 25 2016, @06:33AM

      by Reziac (2489) on Monday July 25 2016, @06:33AM (#379679) Homepage

      We have long suspected the two Virginias' relationship....

      --
      And there is no Alkibiades to come back and save us from ourselves.
    • (Score: 2) by tibman on Monday July 25 2016, @02:38PM

      by tibman (134) Subscriber Badge on Monday July 25 2016, @02:38PM (#379831)

      I was surprised to see West Virginia near last for active population though. Don't those hills have a lot of trails in them?

      --
      SN won't survive on lurkers alone. Write comments.
  • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 24 2016, @11:52PM

    by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 24 2016, @11:52PM (#379563)

    I live in New Jersey. Our state barely has enough of what it takes to survive Tuesdays. But we're mean, ruthless and don't give a crap so we're not worried about zombies.

    • (Score: 1, Touché) by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 25 2016, @02:59AM

      by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 25 2016, @02:59AM (#379634)

      Good, I suppose, since nobody gives a crap about new-joisie.

  • (Score: 2) by archfeld on Sunday July 24 2016, @11:57PM

    by archfeld (4650) <treboreel@live.com> on Sunday July 24 2016, @11:57PM (#379564) Journal

    How did they rank gun ownership ? In a state like say the one I'm in now, Arizona, there is no requirement to register a gun purchased in state, nor do they require permits for open carry, and unless you are seeking to carry out of state under a reciprocity law, you don't even need a permit to carry a concealed weapon. So I'd guess they asked a bunch of paranoid survivalists if they owned guns and got answered no or none of your fsck'n business. I don't know anyone who is a permanent resident here that doesn't have more than a few arms and a decent sized gun safe in the house somewhere. Not to mention a very large Marine presence and we all know THEY have guns. As for interest in Zombie media genre, that too is crap, the issue is who is prep'd for a civil emergency, e.g. off the grid survival, food and water and who is prepared to shoot. I'd have to say I would much rather be here than in Alaska should the infrastructure fail.

    --
    For the NSA : Explosives, guns, assassination, conspiracy, primers, detonators, initiators, main charge, nuclear charge
    • (Score: 1, Informative) by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 25 2016, @12:05AM

      by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 25 2016, @12:05AM (#379571)

      Gun sales in the state?

      I'd have to say I would much rather be here than in Alaska should the infrastructure fail.

      Been there. The cockroaches will eat your charred corpse when the A/C fails.

      • (Score: 2) by archfeld on Monday July 25 2016, @04:00AM

        by archfeld (4650) <treboreel@live.com> on Monday July 25 2016, @04:00AM (#379646) Journal

        That is why the house has solar panels, if the power fails the A/C keeps running, what we do lack is water beyond 2 weeks but there is the Colorado river with a few miles. The cockroaches don't stand a chance here, the scorpions, roadrunners, Gila monsters, and snakes stand in line to snack on cockroaches. Nothing benign survives in the desert.

        --
        For the NSA : Explosives, guns, assassination, conspiracy, primers, detonators, initiators, main charge, nuclear charge
        • (Score: 1) by anubi on Monday July 25 2016, @05:37AM

          by anubi (2828) on Monday July 25 2016, @05:37AM (#379668) Journal

          Can you get condensate from your A/C?

          --
          "Prove all things; hold fast that which is good." [KJV: I Thessalonians 5:21]
          • (Score: 2) by Alfred on Monday July 25 2016, @01:29PM

            by Alfred (4006) on Monday July 25 2016, @01:29PM (#379794) Journal
            Not near enough to survive on. And it is completely defendant on how much moisture is already in the air. Dry air will not give condensate.
          • (Score: 3, Informative) by archfeld on Monday July 25 2016, @05:42PM

            by archfeld (4650) <treboreel@live.com> on Monday July 25 2016, @05:42PM (#379928) Journal

            No actually ours will function as a swamp cooler which is the exact opposite. What we can do is filter the pool water for consumption in the event of a 'long' term outage, and with the Colorado river nearby we would haul in barrels of water and store in the pool. We keep about 2 weeks supply of drinking water and with the 14000 gallon pool we would be okay. Refrigeration is our long term issue as the solar won't drive both refrigerator/freezer and the AC, we do have a root cellar and the AC is sort of crucial to survival during the summer months. Folks survive just over the border in Algodones with out AC so in theory us pampered gringos should be able to do the same, but the prospect is grim.

            --
            For the NSA : Explosives, guns, assassination, conspiracy, primers, detonators, initiators, main charge, nuclear charge
            • (Score: 1) by anubi on Tuesday July 26 2016, @04:00AM

              by anubi (2828) on Tuesday July 26 2016, @04:00AM (#380173) Journal

              I wonder if the Colorado river is nearby, is it possible to sink a well and get to the underground water? There are submersible brushless pumps that run on DC.

              ( It probably would not be legal, but what "they" don't know won't hurt them. You could not make as much of an impact to the Colorado River as a mosquito makes on my blood supply ).

              Besides, a supply of water coming up at 60 deg F makes a good heat sink to transfer thermal energy to. Simple pipe-in-pipe heat exchangers. Your plants will not mind being watered with 90 deg F water. Thermodynamically speaking, its a helluva lot more efficient to transfer unwanted heat to 60 deg water than 100 deg air - and besides, if you have liquid water, you can also get its latent heat by evaporative cooling, as it looks like you are already doing.

              --
              "Prove all things; hold fast that which is good." [KJV: I Thessalonians 5:21]
    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 25 2016, @06:27PM

      by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 25 2016, @06:27PM (#379956)

      Yeah, well when we cut off your supply of Colorado River water we'll see how long it takes before you eat your gun, or someone else makes you eat yours. (At least for any who are south of the Seligman-Prescott-St. Johns line.)

      Sayeth an ex-Arizonan who misses the gun laws and the deserts, but also realizes just how overcrowded the deserts have become.

      Arizona, there is no requirement to register a gun purchased in state, nor do they require permits for open carry, and unless you are seeking to carry out of state under a reciprocity law, you don't even need a permit to carry a concealed weapon. So I'd guess they asked a bunch of paranoid survivalists if they owned guns and got answered no or none of your fsck'n business. I don't know anyone who is a permanent resident here that doesn't have more than a few arms and a decent sized gun safe in the house somewhere. Not to mention a very large Marine presence and we all know THEY have guns. As for interest in Zombie media genre, that too is crap, the issue is who is prep'd for a civil emergency, e.g. off the grid survival, food and water and who is prepared to shoot. I'd have to say I would much rather be here than in Alaska should the infrastructure fail.

      • (Score: 2) by archfeld on Monday July 25 2016, @06:45PM

        by archfeld (4650) <treboreel@live.com> on Monday July 25 2016, @06:45PM (#379966) Journal

        In the event of a systemic failure I doubt anyone will have the equipment or the skill to cut off the supply of the Colorado river, and if it does happen you can count on quite a few pissed off survivalist with lots of firepower coming upriver to see what happened :)

        --
        For the NSA : Explosives, guns, assassination, conspiracy, primers, detonators, initiators, main charge, nuclear charge
        • (Score: 3, Funny) by bob_super on Tuesday July 26 2016, @12:53AM

          by bob_super (1357) on Tuesday July 26 2016, @12:53AM (#380122)

          If someone temporarily cuts off the Colorado, it will be back soon, and fast. At that point, the odds are that no-one will cut it off again for a really long long time...

        • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday July 26 2016, @12:19PM

          by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday July 26 2016, @12:19PM (#380262)

          In the event of a systemic failure, we'll see how long the SRP repair crews last before moving elsewhere.

          Or, phrased differently, you have no seem to have little clue about how much infrastructure is needed to water the desert and how fragile that infrastructure is.

          And my bet is that I'll see a lot of dead dehydrated survivalists who never get out of the desert basin, coupled with a bunch of survivalists who shoot each other.

          • (Score: 2) by archfeld on Tuesday July 26 2016, @04:40PM

            by archfeld (4650) <treboreel@live.com> on Tuesday July 26 2016, @04:40PM (#380350) Journal

            I think you'll see a lot of survivalists moving north up the river, and of course a lot of very desiccated zombies in the Phoenix and Tucson area. A lot of folks will head east into the valley areas of California as well, and the border between AZ and Mexico will get overwhelmed quickly and violently by hordes or spicy zombies.

            --
            For the NSA : Explosives, guns, assassination, conspiracy, primers, detonators, initiators, main charge, nuclear charge
  • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 25 2016, @06:23AM

    by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 25 2016, @06:23AM (#379676)

    Why does everyone who does these types of measurements always ignore climate? A frozen zombie can't move. When the zombie apocalypse comes, head to the poles or just hold out for five weeks for the nuclear winter to start.

    • (Score: 2) by Capt. Obvious on Monday July 25 2016, @04:08PM

      by Capt. Obvious (6089) on Monday July 25 2016, @04:08PM (#379873)

      Because we've all seen Game of Thrones, and therefore are scared of frozen zombies.

      • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday July 26 2016, @02:05AM

        by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday July 26 2016, @02:05AM (#380139)

        Excellent. Made me laugh when I needed it. Thanks.

  • (Score: 2) by DannyB on Tuesday July 26 2016, @04:19PM

    by DannyB (5839) Subscriber Badge on Tuesday July 26 2016, @04:19PM (#380341) Journal
    Google's disaster recovery plans include Alien Invasion [thenextweb.com]. But nothing is mentioned about Zombie Apocalypse. This means your data might be left vulnerable to loss in such an event.

    Something to be concerned about when you use cloud storage.
    --
    Q. How much did Santa's sled cost?
    A. Nothing. It was on the house.