Susan Fowler, a former site reliability engineer for Uber and current engineer at Stripe, accused the company of rampant sexual harassment and human resources negligence in a blog post published today.
Fowler claims that on her first day out of training, she was solicited for sex by a superior on an internal company chat thread. She then immediately captured screenshots of the messages and sent them to Uber's human resources department. In a healthy organization, such a problem would have been quickly resolved. But Fowler alleges that the harassment only continued, preventing her from moving up within the company.
"Upper management told me that he 'was a high performer' and they wouldn't feel comfortable punishing him for what was probably just an innocent mistake on his part," explained Fowler in her post
At this point, Fowler says in her post that she was given a choice of remaining on the team and accepting, "a poor performance review," or moving to a different team.
[...] Though she didn't want to leave the role she felt she was best prepared to fill, she switched teams. Work continued, and while Fowler had settled into the new role she regularly had conversations with female employees who shared similar stories about HR negligence, even citing unacceptable experiences with the same superior that solicited her.
[...] Amid chaotic internal politics, Fowler attempted to transfer to a different department, but the company blocked her request. Citing strong performance, she couldn't understand why her request had been denied.
"I was told that 'performance problems aren't always something that has to do with work, but sometimes can be about things outside of work or your personal life,'" added Fowler in her post.
She ultimately decided to stay in the same role until her next performance review. But the frustration continued with a second reassignment rejection and a further explanation that her "review had been changed after the fact," and that she didn't show "signs of an upward career trajectory." As a result, she was shut out of a Stanford computer science graduate program sponsored by the company for high-achievers.
Source:
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The Fall of Travis Kalanick Was a Lot Weirder and Darker Than You Thought
A year ago, before the investor lawsuits and the federal investigations, before the mass resignations, and before the connotation of the word "Uber" shifted from "world's most valuable startup" to "world's most dysfunctional," Uber's executives sat around a hotel conference room table in San Francisco, trying to convince their chief executive officer, Travis Kalanick, that the company had a major problem: him.
[...] [A] top executive excused herself to answer a phone call. A minute later, she reappeared and asked Kalanick to step into the hallway. Another executive joined them. They hunched over a laptop to watch a video that had just been posted online by Bloomberg News: grainy, black-and-white dashcam footage of Kalanick in the back seat of an UberBlack on Super Bowl weekend, heatedly arguing over fares with a driver named Fawzi Kamel. "Some people don't like to take responsibility for their own shit!" Kalanick can be heard yelling at Kamel. "They blame everything in their life on somebody else!"
As the clip ended, the three stood in stunned silence. Kalanick seemed to understand that his behavior required some form of contrition. According to a person who was there, he literally got down on his hands and knees and began squirming on the floor. "This is bad," he muttered. "I'm terrible." Then, contrition period over, he got up, called a board member, demanded a new PR strategy, and embarked on a yearlong starring role as the villain who gets his comeuppance in the most gripping startup drama since the dot-com bubble. It's a story that, until now, has never been fully told.
The article discusses a number of Uber and Kalanick scandals/events, including:
- The #DeleteUber movement following Uber being accused of breaking up an airport taxi strike (which was in protest of President Trump's executive order restricting travel from Muslim countries), as well as Kalanick's decision to join President Trump's business advisory council (and later leave it).
- Susan Fowler's blog post recounting sexual harassment at Uber, and the hiring of former U.S. attorney general Eric Holder to investigate the claims.
- The revelation of Uber's Greyball system, which was used to avoid picking up law enforcement and taxi inspectors.
- Uber's purchase of self-driving truck startup Otto, which eventually led key Uber investor Google (Waymo) to sue Uber, seeking billions in damages.
- Kalanick's "inexplicable" support of Anthony Levandowski, who he called his "brother from another mother", even after Levandowski stopped defending Uber in the Waymo v. Uber case.
- Kalanick's apology to the taxi driver Fawzi Kamel, which amounted to a $200,000 payoff.
- A visit to a Seoul escort-karaoke bar that resulted in an HR complaint and a report in The Information.
- Uber's president for Asia-Pacific Eric Alexander obtaining a confidential medical record of passenger who was raped by an Uber driver in Delhi, India. Alexander, Kalanick, and others discussed a theory that their Indian competitor Ola faked/orchestrated the rape.
- Kalanick making his presence known during a "leave of absence" by trying to maintain control over the company and its board.
- Arianna Huffington promoting her wellness company's products while acting as Kalanick's apparent proxy on the board.
- The new CEO Dara Khosrowshahi's response to the city of London revoking Uber's operating license.
(Score: 1, Insightful) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday February 22 2017, @08:30AM
Don't use their service.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday February 22 2017, @08:47AM
A personal boycott won't make any difference - your vote literally won't count.
So if you think boycotting them is the solution, then you must also agree that publicizing the reasons for your boycott is also necessary.
(Score: 1, Interesting) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday February 22 2017, @08:53AM
Rather, the point is to build a life for yourself that is worthwhile.
Frankly, I don't care that this particular person surrounded herself with nasties—that was her choice; personally, I'll still use Uber, because they are useful to me.
(Score: 1) by YeaWhatevs on Wednesday February 22 2017, @12:57PM
She should have bailed when she saw HR was not going to do their job, but she was not at fault.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday February 22 2017, @04:51PM
> She should have
Victim blaming! /s
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday February 23 2017, @04:07AM
Yeah, fuck minimum community standards.
Race to the bottom!
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday February 22 2017, @08:57AM
Many companies go through this. They let things 'just go' then it ends up on the other end so crazy they will overcompensate. Witch hunts will happen. Then it will calm down and people will walk on egg shells and fear seeing HR.
(Score: 0, Troll) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday February 22 2017, @09:20AM
This annoys me to no end. I think there's an obvious reason for this. There is real sexual harassment but there are also people who are looking to make a buck or damage companies that they feel have wronged them though not necessarily for the reasons stated. And there is also the fragility issue. In today's society there are some people that would take, "I thought your outfit looked nice today." as sexual harassment. Another possibility is off color jokes where, again, absolutely everything would depend on the context. In this case where the alleged harassment even happened digitally in publicly recorded messages so why in the world would she not share the exact, in context, discussion?
Without clear evidence this is just a call to bring the pitchforks and torches to a company based on allegations on a blog post.
(Score: 5, Insightful) by bradley13 on Wednesday February 22 2017, @10:34AM
That's a good question. She claims to have captured the actual texts sent. She really should have included the screen captures in her article.
That said, her allegations are so extremely specific that they pretty much must be true. She has stated specific facts. If those facts were untrue, the company (and her former boss) could rightly sue her for defamation.
Everyone is somebody else's weirdo.
(Score: 0, Troll) by VLM on Wednesday February 22 2017, @02:18PM
Unless she's judgment proof, of course. Which regardless of truth or not of her allegations is probably financially accurate.
But wait, you're saying getting sued for defamation would forbid hiring? Not in this case she's a special snowflake guaranteed to move on to bigger things because she'd Fighting The Power(TM) and any claim she lied is merely anti-female sexism, why even documented proof is sexist.
There's no downside for her to lie. That doesn't prove she's lying, of course. But its not like if a man lied, or a wealthy old contractor lied. Zero risk only upside for her.
(Score: 2) by Azuma Hazuki on Wednesday February 22 2017, @06:17PM
Fuck you thrice, asshole. You aren't a woman and you have no idea what kind of shit goes down in the workplace. We're running a marathon with a splint, dammit, every damn day. I'm lucky to be tall and scary and glare-y enough that most men don't try this crap with me, but you would not BELIEVE the shit I've seen co-workers take at some jobs. At the latest retail place I was working at we had a guy who constantly harassed two co-workers, repeatedly brought alcohol in (disguised in coffee) and spread rumors that one was a lesbian (for not sleeping with him) and the other did sleep with him (for not sleeping with him--and she's a single mom!). He did this shit for weeks and only JUST LAST WEEK got fired. For no-showing. And that place was run by women and was over 2/3 women workers!
There is an entire other world out there you have no idea exists. To try and give you some idea, think about those survival horror games where you can phase in and out of different realities, or where your characters sees and hears things no one else does. Imagine having a "rape risk" HUD pop up over pretty much every adult male you meet, not because you're afraid, but simply because you know this shit happens. Mine is usually very low just due to sheer size and WTF-ery, so just trying to imagine what more normal women think and feel is awful.
tl;dr; just because it doesn't figure on your radar does not mean it doesn't happen to you.
I am "that girl" your mother warned you about...
(Score: 1, Troll) by VLM on Wednesday February 22 2017, @06:31PM
We wrote the same thing, but I admit you wrote it much better.
Compare your post with the section of mine saying the same thing around:
she's a special snowflake guaranteed to move on to bigger things because she'd Fighting The Power(TM) and any claim she lied is merely anti-female sexism
Even if we disagree on a hell of a lot, you are a superior writer. I think you read Hunter Thompson in the old days; I see gonzo journalism in there; I like that. On the other hand on my best day I'm a bad imitation of H. L. Mencken, or at least I like to think so.
(Score: 4, Touché) by Azuma Hazuki on Wednesday February 22 2017, @07:03PM
Fuck you four times. When you said
> she's a special snowflake guaranteed to move on to bigger things because she'd Fighting The Power(TM) and any claim she lied is merely anti-female sexism
You said the precise fucking OPPOSITE of what I did. And no, I never read Hunter S. Thompson; I was born in 1985, long after the Nixonian debacle went down. I'm simply both open-eyed and pissed off; think "George Carlin crossed with a demi-femme Xena warrior princess" here.
And you will. Not. Gaslight. Me. I counted three, count 'em, ichi-ni-san, cases of deliberate misdirection here: non-sequitur, damning with faint praise, and insincere self-deprecation. You're as transparent as glass to me.
I am "that girl" your mother warned you about...
(Score: 1, Flamebait) by VLM on Wednesday February 22 2017, @07:33PM
So I take it the wedding's off then? Just kidding. You don't have to get all personal just because we disagree on ... everything .... politically. No non-sequitur here, only complete lack of common ground making the issue perhaps too confusing for you. I do like your writing style even if we can't stand each others politics. You did catch me on the insincere self-deprecation, I am pretty awesome, thanks for reminding everyone, although that's probably fairly obvious.
So, sincerely, have a nice day and I suggest you read Hunter Thompson some time, he's more timeless than you appear to think he is, and no I'm not rickrolling you into reading some sort of ur-Moldbug, although I have to admit that would be epic if I pulled that off.
(Score: 3, Funny) by Azuma Hazuki on Wednesday February 22 2017, @07:38PM
Fuck off. You got your bloated head handed to you and you're not gonna make a graceful exit. And everyone can see it.
I am "that girl" your mother warned you about...
(Score: -1, Redundant) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday February 22 2017, @09:28PM
You got trolled.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday February 22 2017, @07:25PM
Anecdotal evidence is not relevant. This is a general rule but magnitudes more important on the internet. There are billions of us here. Even if you take something that is isolated to less than 1% of all jobs or environments you're looking at tens of millions of people who have stories to tell and of course there will be a response bias present - you're not going to have hundreds of women chip in, "I have experienced nothing like this and do not perceive the world in this way." even though that would be more representative of reality. This [wikipedia.org] is a list of crime rates per capita per city in the US. In the most populous city, New York, you're looking at facing an 800% greater chance of being robbed than raped. A 1400% greater chance of facing aggravated assault. A 6000% greater chance of facing property crime. A 600% greater chance of being burgled. And in fact these numbers understate this fact since rape and sexual assault are combined together statistically with rape itself about being about 1 out of 3 of those incidences - so going ahead and change that to a 2400% greater chance of being robbed, 4200% greater chance of facing aggravated assault, and so on. Rape is far more egregious than any of those crimes, but so absurdly uncommon that your behavior is, at the minimum, unreasonably paranoid.
And in your story I can't help but notice that your coworker decided to respond to somebody who was "sexually harassing" her by sleeping with them. That'll show them how disgusted she was! Or might it be that what you're claiming was "sexual harassment" was crass talk between adults?
(Score: 2) by Azuma Hazuki on Wednesday February 22 2017, @10:18PM
You misread. She did NOT sleep with him. Read closer, please.
I am "that girl" your mother warned you about...
(Score: 1) by AssCork on Thursday February 23 2017, @02:13PM
I'm lucky to be tall and scary and glare-y enough that most men don't try this crap with me
Found the [fattie|trans|fugly]!*
But seriously, who's to blame? Men? Women ?
God? That sounds right. After all, He literally made men and women this way.
I hear there's a lot less harassment under sharia law, might be worth looking into.
* = I could not resist firing off a satirical response like this after reading your entire post. It's hysterical, and is meant to parody the knee-jerk reaction everyone has upon hearing a statement such as "because of %physical_attribute%, I don't experience this", akin to the wit of Monty Python during the tale of a quest for a certain holy relic, which contains a sub-plot revolving around a group of locals attempting to resolve a matter with a supposed 'witch'. Bear in mind, this is not an apology, just an explanation that I delight in the occasional bout of juvenile humor.
Just popped-out of a tight spot. Came out mostly clean, too.
(Score: 2) by Azuma Hazuki on Thursday February 23 2017, @06:09PM
Good satire is funny though. This...wasn't. This was like some juvenile seventh grader passing obscene notes about his teacher and then grinning and sweating like an idiot in the principal's office and trying to worm out of it by saying "It was a JOKE!!!1111eleventy-one."
I will admit to needing to lose 7 or 8 pounds, according to the scale. But at six foot that's not a huge issue. Fuckin' ugly? My girlfriend doesn't think so, and her opinion is the only one that matters. And no, I'm not trans, though I do plenty of trans advocacy since we're all in this together, dammit.
Got anything else to add, or did you run out after your one gush?
I am "that girl" your mother warned you about...
(Score: 0, Troll) by AssCork on Friday February 24 2017, @06:38PM
Got anything else to add, or did you run out after your one gush?
Not much, other than, syntactically speaking, nomenclature for bracketed options such as "[ one | two | three ]" imply that any one of the options may be chosen. Not all.
And I know it was juvenile, we all have our moments.
Glad to hear you're not fat/ugly/trans. Happy Friday.
Just popped-out of a tight spot. Came out mostly clean, too.
(Score: 2, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday February 22 2017, @06:36PM
Hey look everybody! We found him, the poor persecuted white male. It is a rare condition which usually results from dementia. Why this is tightly correlated with "software development" is a mystery yet to be solved.
(Score: 2) by Zz9zZ on Wednesday February 22 2017, @06:50PM
Where is your anger over rich people getting out of crimes? Or minorities wrongly accused of crimes out of convenience / profiling? Is this new concept of equality JUST TOO MUCH for you? Sounds like misdirected anger and a brain washed by anti-liberal propaganda to me.
I recently overheard a conversation where someone from the South US said they will toss out applications if they went to the rival school, and apparently that is common practice. Care to get your hackles up about that?
Bad things will always happen, don't let them turn you into a prejudiced fool because your feels are hurt.
~Tilting at windmills~
(Score: 2, Interesting) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday February 22 2017, @02:28PM
OK lets do it based on their previous known track records:
1) Her: dunno?
2) Uber: bad. http://nymag.com/thecut/2016/12/uber-employees-reportedly-used-the-app-to-spy-on-their-exes.html [nymag.com]
The top execs said those privacy stuff was fixed but 2 years later nope. https://www.revealnews.org/article/uber-said-it-protects-you-from-spying-security-sources-say-otherwise/ [revealnews.org]
Seems Uber has a bad corporate culture.
So if I have to place any bets, I'd bet most of what she claims is true.
(Score: 3, Interesting) by bob_super on Wednesday February 22 2017, @06:23PM
> Seems Uber has a bad corporate culture.
Coming from a company based on "the rules applying to my competitors don't apply to me because I'm innovating"?
Inconceivable!
Also, I don't know if she'd be allowed to publish screenshots of the alleged harassment, considering the chat probably has an "internal, company confidential" clause. Use them as evidence for a lawsuit, sure; but publish for the rest of us to read, probably not.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday February 23 2017, @06:44AM
Seems there's at least one more person who thinks Uber's culture sucks:
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/02/22/technology/uber-workplace-culture.html [nytimes.com]
Is that enough for "context"?
(Score: 4, Insightful) by bradley13 on Wednesday February 22 2017, @10:28AM
Her experience sounds horrible, and the company's working environment sounds even worse. Shit happens, and by making it public, she will warn everyone else to avoid working there.
That's good.
What's not so good are the strident feminists using this to say: "Look, we always told you that STEM is hostile to women". Which is simply not true. I have been in STEM for (gawd) nearly 40 years, my wife is in STEM, over the years I have had numerous female friends and colleagues in STEM, and not one single serious problem related to gender.
Other problems do happen, of course, both for men and women. I had a boss once, who thought his direct subordinates should literally hours (sometimes the entire morning) every day listening to him talk about irrelevant crap. Anyone who got impatient, got a lousy annual review. Shit does happen, but the shit I've seen has never been gender related. Gender discrimination, sexual harassment are unusual, and we should work to prevent the extremists from exploiting this unusual incident. Because they will try do so - for self-aggrandizement or political power or whatever - and at the expense of our professions.
Everyone is somebody else's weirdo.
(Score: 0, Insightful) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday February 22 2017, @04:30PM
What's not so good are the strident feminists using this to say: "Look, we always told you that STEM is hostile to women".
How else could they create the problem of a lack of cisfemale STEM workers if they didn't work at every level from cradle through graduation to frighten cisfemales from STEM?
Feminism hasn't been about empowerment for a long time now. Guys need to get over their whatever it is they feel towards women. Women can only have victim power if men give it to them, because feminism has no interest in having women with actual power. If there were women with power, then victim power because I was born with my reproductive system on the inside and that gives me some fucking right to not have somebody tie me down and take a knife to my body a day after I'm born wouldn't exist.
(Score: 2) by Grishnakh on Wednesday February 22 2017, @04:33PM
I disagree. STEM *is* hostile to women. You don't see it because you haven't been working around 30-and-under Millennial brogrammers for your whole profession. It's a generational thing, and this is what the new crop of STEM workers are like now. It used to be an OK profession for women to work in, but not any more. Now it's a toxic profession, for anyone with any decency, and it's only going to get worse as the older generations age out and the brogrammers take over.
(Score: 2) by VLM on Wednesday February 22 2017, @06:42PM
In extensive discussion on other sites on this topic I am willing to predict that bradley and I are telling the truth and are midwesterners and Grishnakh and Azuma are also telling the truth and are nearly certain to be Californians or NYC or at any rate coasties of some sort. How did I do?
I never fail to be amused at the difference between boots on the ground experience vs the political propaganda about areas, this is an area where they're opposite. In the midwest we're all misogynist sexist Trump voting nazis wanting to control womens bodies which is I suppose true but we're professional and polite and near Prussian discipline in the office so women in STEM is a joy for them because problems just don't exist at least in the workplace anyway, whereas out in the coasts everyone voted for Hillary and marches for womens rights but in the workplace you're fairly likely to get raped in your coastie ocean view office and I don't mean metaphorically.
(Score: 2) by Azuma Hazuki on Friday February 24 2017, @12:33AM
I'm from NYC but live in Wisconsin now, and was describing a retail environment. My first job is computers, and I'm the only woman aside from the finances lady, but we all get along great.
I am "that girl" your mother warned you about...
(Score: 2) by subs on Wednesday February 22 2017, @11:07PM
you haven't been working around 30-and-under Millennial brogrammers for your whole profession
I have. Never seen what you describe. In my experience, the concentration of nasty men in the programming field is among the lowest there are, simply because programmers tend to be outsiders & introverts. Now if you want to see guys who treat women like shit and manipulate them not to notice it, you'll want the sales dept.
(Score: 2) by Grishnakh on Thursday February 23 2017, @04:15PM
In my experience, the concentration of nasty men in the programming field is among the lowest there are, simply because programmers tend to be outsiders & introverts
You must not work in Silicon Valley. What you're describing is the stereotypical view of programmers from 30+ years ago. That's not how they are any more; just talk to guys who work at Facebook for instance. They're not "outsiders and introverts". Moreover, look at the preferred work environments of today's young programmers: they *love* noisy, open-plan offices. No true "outsider and introvert" would want to work in that environment, but that's how programmers these days love to work. They also love agile programming, where they have daily "stand up" meetings and work in programming pairs or other very close-quarter situations.
Face it: programming is for extroverts today.
(Score: 2) by subs on Thursday February 23 2017, @09:11PM
Not sure if troll or really clueless, so feel free to correct me.
You must not work in Silicon Valley
Imagine this: there are programmers outside of Silicon Valley. Shocking, I know.
they *love* noisy, open-plan offices
You a troll? All coders I've ever met *love* WFH. This open-plan office crap was imagined by MBAs who think it encourages "communication" or some such nonsense.
They also love agile programming, where they have daily "stand up" meetings and work in programming pairs or other very close-quarter situations.
Agile, daily stand up meetings and pair programming is PHB horseshit. I've never met a programmer who liked or often even hated it.
Face it: programming is for extroverts today.
Lol, nope. What are you gonna tell me next? That we programmers like quarterly performance reviews? Or that being interrupted every 30 minutes by some fuckface makes us feel all warm and fuzzy?
(Score: 2) by urza9814 on Thursday February 23 2017, @03:33PM
Exact opposite experience here. It's the older guys who are bringing that crap into every single meeting, to the point of displaying sexist videos from YouTube on a projector in the conference room during the daily status meetings. The under 30 crowd hesitates to answer when someone asks what they did on their weekend because they'd rather stick to work-related topics...
(Score: 2) by Grishnakh on Thursday February 23 2017, @04:11PM
Hmm... where are you located? I really wonder if this is a regional difference.
(Score: 2) by urza9814 on Thursday February 23 2017, @07:07PM
Hah, there's something I hadn't considered. I'm in Rhode Island -- maybe all the scumbags are too busy trying to get ahead in silicon valley or whatever. I'm also the guy who would go to career fairs, see a two hour long line at the Google booth, and say "Alright, instead of standing in line and hoping I can talk to that one company before this thing closes...I'm just going to go talk to *everybody* else"...so there could be some selection bias from that :)
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday February 22 2017, @06:08PM
Your experience is unique.
(Score: 2) by DeathMonkey on Wednesday February 22 2017, @07:07PM
What's not so good are the strident feminists using this to say: "Look, we always told you that STEM is hostile to women". Which is simply not true. I have been in STEM for (gawd) nearly 40 years, my wife is in STEM, over the years I have had numerous female friends and colleagues in STEM, and not one single serious problem related to gender.
Well yeah, this is a obvious example that supports their position so why shouldn't they say that?
I have been in STEM for (gawd) nearly 40 years,
You've mentioned before that you work in academia in Europe. Just 'cause you're doing computer stuff there doesn't mean you have an accurate view of the US IT industry.
(Score: 2) by bradley13 on Thursday February 23 2017, @06:44AM
Late comment, so probably you won't see the reply. However, I spent the first half of my career in the US, so I *do* have a good view of both sides of the pond.
What I cannot judge, is what another commenter claims: that there has been a generational change. That the younger generation of programmers in the US (roughly, the millennials) behaves differently from the older generation (roughly: those over 35).
Everyone is somebody else's weirdo.
(Score: 2) by Nobuddy on Thursday February 23 2017, @07:49PM
" I had a boss once, who thought his direct subordinates should literally hours (sometimes the entire morning) every day listening to him talk about irrelevant crap."
I think you accidentally a word.
(Score: -1, Flamebait) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday February 22 2017, @11:10AM
Regardless of if this is true or not--and if true, it sounds mostly like a "meh"
issue on the grand scale, I mean you didn't get promoted, so that means it was harrassment? I didn't get promoted this year either--it's obvious this woman is an attention seeker.
(Score: 0, Troll) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday February 22 2017, @06:13PM
Defend her honor
(Score: 4, Touché) by DeathMonkey on Wednesday February 22 2017, @07:10PM
No, repeatedly harassing people makes it harassment.
(Score: 2) by Zz9zZ on Wednesday February 22 2017, @09:42PM
I can't believe it feels necessary to mod this up...
~Tilting at windmills~
(Score: 1) by WillR on Wednesday February 22 2017, @08:59PM
(Score: 2) by tisI on Thursday February 23 2017, @03:35AM
Well, you will be even more SHOCKED when you hail uber in Arizona and are picked by a driverless autobot.
You can have a conversation with a computer screen. Clippy will be your chauffeur today.
"Suppose you were an idiot...and suppose you were a member of Congress...but I repeat myself."