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posted by martyb on Monday March 20, @04:00PM   Printer-friendly
Saved for NCommander to post a story.

[Image redacted. There was a permissions issue -- the story was updated to include an image not in keeping with the editorial policy of this site. The party responsible has had their privileges rescinded. And, kudos to the community... They took this lemon, ran with it, and started a whole franchise of lemonade stands with a veritable cornucopia of insightful, witty, and self-deprecating comments! --martyb]

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(1) 2
  • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20, @04:06PM (14 children)

    by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20, @04:06PM (#481548)

    Now I'm curious...

    • (Score: 3, Funny) by bob_super on Monday March 20, @04:23PM (7 children)

      by bob_super (1357) on Monday March 20, @04:23PM (#481562)

      It's a story about the power of marketing teasers.

      • (Score: 3, Funny) by zocalo on Monday March 20, @06:37PM (1 child)

        by zocalo (302) on Monday March 20, @06:37PM (#481664)
        Optimization of Xenix 386 - How not to do it!
        --
        UNIX? They're not even circumcised! Savages!
        • (Score: 2) by VLM on Monday March 20, @07:43PM

          by VLM (445) Subscriber Badge on Monday March 20, @07:43PM (#481712)

          Hes probably still compiling. Contemporary with the recent Xenix theme, way back in '93 I had a 40 MHz 386DX with 4 one meg SIMMs. You see back then each SIMM only provided 8 bits and 386 being a 32 bit bus, yeah, so SIMMs were installed in quads not pairs like today. Now 4 megs of ram could either run xwindows at 640x480 or so, OR I could add a couple megs of swap (like 4 or so) and compile a kernel in about two hours. I found some 256K SIMMs laying around for the taking because 1 meg 286 was kinda passe by '93 or so, and I installed all four bringing be up to 5 megs. The speed up on kernel compiles was much better than linear with memory and I used a lot less swap and a compile now only took maybe a half hour, which is a pretty good deal seeing as I paid "free" for the 256K SIMMs.

          Maybe a few years later (but not many, like '94, '95 or so) I vaguely remember saving up quite a pile of money, like a months rent, and buying 4 meg simms such that I could install 4 of them to get 16 megs AND install the four 1 meg simms (removing the 256K simms) leaving me with a staggering 20 megs of ram. Which is a hell of a lot seeing as 40 meg IDE PATA drive was installed. I may have upgraded to a 120 meg IDE by then.

      • (Score: 2) by TheRaven on Monday March 20, @07:56PM (2 children)

        by TheRaven (270) on Monday March 20, @07:56PM (#481723) Journal
        It's also currently the story on the front page with the most comments, which probably says something unflattering about the rest of the submissions...
        --
        sudo mod me up
        • (Score: 2) by art guerrilla on Tuesday March 21, @12:17AM

          by art guerrilla (3082) on Tuesday March 21, @12:17AM (#481880)

          what i was going to say: apparently an inverse relationship between the length of articles and commenting...

        • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday March 21, @01:36PM

          by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday March 21, @01:36PM (#482104)

          Unflattering? People are so impressed with the other submissions that they are speechless.

      • (Score: 3, Funny) by iWantToKeepAnon on Monday March 20, @11:45PM (1 child)

        by iWantToKeepAnon (686) Subscriber Badge on Monday March 20, @11:45PM (#481856) Homepage Journal
        Gabbo! Gabbo! Gabbo! I'm gonna figure this out.... (btw, did someone leave their computer unlocked?)
        --
        "Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." -- Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
        • (Score: 2) by Webweasel on Tuesday March 21, @11:20AM

          by Webweasel (567) Subscriber Badge on Tuesday March 21, @11:20AM (#482048) Homepage Journal

          I reckon it's some guy's name. Some guy named Gabbo.

          --
          Priyom.org Number stations, Russian Military radio. "You are a bad, bad man. Do you have any other virtues?"-Runaway1956
    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20, @05:30PM (5 children)

      by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20, @05:30PM (#481610)

      Hi Curious, any reason you felt the need to tell us twice?

      • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20, @07:04PM

        by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20, @07:04PM (#481683)

        Hi Curious, any reason you felt the need to tell us twice?

        Yeah, I'm curious about that!

      • (Score: 3, Funny) by Nerdfest on Monday March 20, @07:21PM (3 children)

        by Nerdfest (80) Subscriber Badge on Monday March 20, @07:21PM (#481693)

        Perhaps he's "bi-curious"

        • (Score: 3, Funny) by VLM on Monday March 20, @07:28PM (2 children)

          by VLM (445) Subscriber Badge on Monday March 20, @07:28PM (#481697)

          Given the Xenix 386 theme lately, I guess that would be "Xe Curious"

          So if a unix is a eunuch then a XEnix is a xe nix which is a ...?

          • (Score: 2) by Nerdfest on Monday March 20, @07:36PM (1 child)

            by Nerdfest (80) Subscriber Badge on Monday March 20, @07:36PM (#481708)

            Nicely done.

            • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday March 21, @03:12AM

              by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday March 21, @03:12AM (#481954)

              But "Xe curious" would be interest in joining a certain very macho mercenary group formerly known as Blackwater? (And seriously, what kind of name is "Eric Prince", anyway?)

  • (Score: 2) by DeathMonkey on Monday March 20, @04:06PM (2 children)

    by DeathMonkey (1380) Subscriber Badge on Monday March 20, @04:06PM (#481549) Journal

    Saved for NCommander to post a story

    So, is this the -1'st post, then?

  • (Score: 5, Insightful) by DBCubix on Monday March 20, @04:15PM (32 children)

    by DBCubix (553) on Monday March 20, @04:15PM (#481553)

    Saved for a future insightful comment.

    • (Score: 3, Interesting) by driven on Monday March 20, @04:17PM (19 children)

      by driven (6295) Subscriber Badge on Monday March 20, @04:17PM (#481555)

      Modded insightful for said insightful comment.

      • (Score: 2, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20, @04:19PM (18 children)

        by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20, @04:19PM (#481558)

        Saved for AC "worthless" comment.

        • (Score: 2, Touché) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20, @04:22PM (17 children)

          by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20, @04:22PM (#481560)

          Saved for future obvious rebuttal comment.

          • (Score: 1) by charon on Monday March 20, @05:36PM (11 children)

            by charon (5660) Subscriber Badge on Monday March 20, @05:36PM (#481615)
            Saved for long winded explanation of how editors do their job and why parent is wrong.
            • (Score: 2) by DECbot on Monday March 20, @05:42PM (6 children)

              by DECbot (832) on Monday March 20, @05:42PM (#481623) Journal

              Saved for the sharped tounge, ad hominem, strawman rebuttal.

              --
              cats~$ sudo chown -R us /home/base
              • (Score: -1, Offtopic) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20, @06:33PM (5 children)

                by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20, @06:33PM (#481659)

                Saved for offtopic obvious troll comment that will eventually be modded to -1.

                • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20, @07:34PM (4 children)

                  by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20, @07:34PM (#481705)

                  Saved for, Ah Screw it.

                  • (Score: 4, Funny) by zafiro17 on Monday March 20, @08:33PM (3 children)

                    by zafiro17 (234) on Monday March 20, @08:33PM (#481750) Homepage

                    Saved for long-ass diatribe about how the Green Site never would have posted something like this, or about how they had this first, or about how it doesn't matter when the Green Site posted it because this is more about horrific-looking kneecap photoshop COMMUNITY and if you don't like it then you can just fark off back to the Green Site but I'm staying here because images like this one show the importance of citizen journalism and community circle-jerking and that's why everyone should commit some money voluntarily even though I haven't but I'm going to try to sound higher than thou about the whole thing even though secretly I'm hoping we hit the $3000 threshold just before I have to get out my wallet and contribute, even though I never did anything similar for the Green Site, which doesn't matter because soylent is people and also news, just not this post which isn't really news at all but rather a reminder about how advancing metaphors in communication allow us to make this a meta-comment about community news sites in general, something the farking Green Site Never .. Would .. Have .. Permitted. Boo ya.

                    --
                    Soylentnews.org, Pipedot.org, Usenet's comp.misc: an embarrassment of riches.
                    • (Score: 4, Informative) by DECbot on Monday March 20, @08:39PM (2 children)

                      by DECbot (832) on Monday March 20, @08:39PM (#481756) Journal

                      Fuck Beta!

                      --
                      cats~$ sudo chown -R us /home/base
                      • (Score: 2) by Gaaark on Tuesday March 21, @01:27AM (1 child)

                        by Gaaark (41) Subscriber Badge on Tuesday March 21, @01:27AM (#481905) Homepage Journal

                        Saved for fucking Beta.

                        "She has traveled, yes. She's from Scarsdale."

                        "SAY NO MORE!!"

                        --
                        --- [redacted] due to [redacted] by Agent [redacted]. Dated [redacted] ---
                        • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday March 21, @01:38PM

                          by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday March 21, @01:38PM (#482107)

                          Saved for complaining about "Fuck Beta" post, noting that they are so terribly outdated.

            • (Score: 4, Informative) by DeathMonkey on Monday March 20, @05:46PM (3 children)

              by DeathMonkey (1380) Subscriber Badge on Monday March 20, @05:46PM (#481626) Journal

              Just doing my part to make this the most highly-commented article of the week!

              • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20, @07:46PM (2 children)

                by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20, @07:46PM (#481714)

                Screw the week, we need to make this the most highly commented article EVER.

                1000 COMMENTS, HERE WE COME!

          • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20, @07:30PM (4 children)

            by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20, @07:30PM (#481700)

            Saved for future Soylent drinking game comment. Everybody save a drink!

    • (Score: 3, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20, @04:19PM (9 children)

      by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20, @04:19PM (#481557)

      Saved for future comment with witty retort.

    • (Score: 2) by Lagg on Monday March 20, @05:52PM (1 child)

      by Lagg (105) on Monday March 20, @05:52PM (#481630) Homepage Journal

      This post and resulting score should be archived for later reference by mankind. Also is it topical if we talk about the non-topical post posted by the topicer-in-chief.

      --
      http://lagg.me [lagg.me]
      8DF5 7CC6 9572 2282 4BD7 CC2C 1316 E8D2 AB04 0CBD
      • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday March 21, @01:43PM

        by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday March 21, @01:43PM (#482110)

        We've still got the chance to get it into the Hall of Fame. [soylentnews.org]

  • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20, @04:19PM (3 children)

    by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20, @04:19PM (#481556)

    On March 20th 2017 a small website used primarily by people with glasses was the recipient of yet another example of what we are calling "The POTUS Effect". All over leaders small and large are emulating the latest US president by using their position of power for personal gain. We are getting reports now that this is not a new phenomenon and we are simply seeing it on a larger scale.

    A walking beard had this to say before muttering some gibberish: "ADMIN ABUSE!"

    We were able to record the gibberish though we as yet do not know what it means. If anyone has any information about the significance of "rm -rf WORLD" please contact us at 888-867-5309.

    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20, @04:24PM (1 child)

      by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20, @04:24PM (#481563)

      It is real [youtube.com].

      • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20, @04:34PM

        by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20, @04:34PM (#481572)

        Hehe, no humorous sarcasm goes unpunished!

    • (Score: 1, Touché) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20, @04:35PM

      by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20, @04:35PM (#481573)

      Jenny, is that you?

  • (Score: 2) by Hartree on Monday March 20, @04:58PM (7 children)

    by Hartree (195) on Monday March 20, @04:58PM (#481582)

    But is it just the same old story?

    • (Score: 2) by VLM on Monday March 20, @05:05PM (2 children)

      by VLM (445) Subscriber Badge on Monday March 20, @05:05PM (#481588)

      Can still collect valuable karma:

      Shouldda used Lorem Ipsum

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lorem_ipsum [wikipedia.org]

      • (Score: 3, Informative) by MrGuy on Monday March 20, @05:37PM

        by MrGuy (1007) on Monday March 20, @05:37PM (#481619)

        Burma Shave

      • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20, @07:27PM

        by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20, @07:27PM (#481696)

        Needs more bacon [baconipsum.com]!

        Bacon ipsum dolor amet strip steak spare ribs short ribs meatball, turkey sausage ground round beef short loin bacon rump tri-tip pig. Cow beef ribs fatback, tongue porchetta bacon kielbasa sausage tri-tip spare ribs pastrami corned beef chuck filet mignon hamburger. Pork belly meatball brisket pork chop shankle picanha. Leberkas biltong ham hock turducken meatloaf pork chop ribeye, beef porchetta turkey shank doner sirloin salami. Biltong pork loin shankle hamburger tri-tip. Shank pork chop jowl, pork loin turducken tail pig. Venison jowl tail leberkas, filet mignon ham cow drumstick turducken ribeye salami.

    • (Score: 2) by AndyTheAbsurd on Monday March 20, @05:13PM (3 children)

      by AndyTheAbsurd (3958) on Monday March 20, @05:13PM (#481594) Journal

      It's the same old song and dance.

  • (Score: 3, Touché) by mechanicjay on Monday March 20, @05:06PM (1 child)

    This is the shortest NCommander story ever!

    --
    My VMS box beat up your Windows box.
    • (Score: 2) by zafiro17 on Monday March 20, @08:35PM

      by zafiro17 (234) on Monday March 20, @08:35PM (#481752) Homepage

      ... and the best one ever! Far better than the usual stuff.

      --
      Soylentnews.org, Pipedot.org, Usenet's comp.misc: an embarrassment of riches.
  • (Score: 1, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20, @05:15PM

    by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20, @05:15PM (#481597)

    I am, like, totally done with this travesty of site.

  • (Score: 2) by Fishscene on Monday March 20, @05:27PM (3 children)

    by Fishscene (4361) on Monday March 20, @05:27PM (#481604)

    It needs more content and probably shouldn't have been posted before being filled out. Editors (if we have any), please resolve!

    • (Score: 4, Informative) by CoolHand on Monday March 20, @06:12PM (2 children)

      by CoolHand (438) Subscriber Badge on Monday March 20, @06:12PM (#481647)
      I saw it when it had been running for a half hour already, and went to undisplay it, but then decided the comments were so good we'd just let it go... Hopefully we don't make a habit of it, but it was kind of fun this one time.
      --
      Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job-Douglas Adams
      • (Score: 2) by Fishscene on Monday March 20, @08:47PM

        by Fishscene (4361) on Monday March 20, @08:47PM (#481764)

        Well hey, that makes perfect sense. Thanks for commenting back and explaining! I actually really do appreciate it. :)

      • (Score: 2) by Gaaark on Tuesday March 21, @01:41AM

        by Gaaark (41) Subscriber Badge on Tuesday March 21, @01:41AM (#481910) Homepage Journal

        Best. Time. Ever!

        Fun shite... Nothing wrong with letting people post their way to a laugh.

        Thanks for leaving it! :)

        --
        --- [redacted] due to [redacted] by Agent [redacted]. Dated [redacted] ---
  • (Score: 2) by MrGuy on Monday March 20, @05:35PM (5 children)

    by MrGuy (1007) on Monday March 20, @05:35PM (#481613)

    Saved for NCommander to post a story

    Earnest Hemmingway once supposedly [wikipedia.org] wrote a short story in only 6 words.

    It apparently takes NCommaner 7.

    • (Score: 2) by VLM on Monday March 20, @05:50PM

      by VLM (445) Subscriber Badge on Monday March 20, @05:50PM (#481628)

      Xenix 386 is still rebooting

      About 5 words depending how you count it. Its an interesting series. If I was taking bets I'd bet he thought he'd get eth0 up and running and make a triumphant post to SN from inside Xenix, but here we are, xenix-less once again. Or perhaps he took the red pill and found out what we call "the real world" is actually a simulation written in COBOL inside MVS/360 on a Hercules emulator and he didn't take it well.

    • (Score: 2) by requerdanos on Monday March 20, @05:58PM (3 children)

      by requerdanos (5997) Subscriber Badge on Monday March 20, @05:58PM (#481637) Journal

      Hemmingway... short story in only 6 words... NCommaner 7.

      Hemingway's [alleged] story is the more interesting [google.com] of the two, in this reviewer's opinion.

      ---
      So often your mod points go to waste... Why not mod this post up right now and help stop that trend.

  • (Score: 2) by bob_super on Monday March 20, @05:51PM

    by bob_super (1357) on Monday March 20, @05:51PM (#481629)

    He's gonna need a separate post ...
    Nothing could live up to this hype, now.

  • (Score: 2) by goodie on Monday March 20, @05:57PM (3 children)

    by goodie (1877) on Monday March 20, @05:57PM (#481634) Journal

    Now, sir, you better deliver! The people demand a story! Make it a good one too!

    • (Score: 3, Insightful) by requerdanos on Monday March 20, @06:01PM (1 child)

      by requerdanos (5997) Subscriber Badge on Monday March 20, @06:01PM (#481639) Journal

      you better deliver...The people demand a story

      At 31 replies as of now, I'd say this *is* the story, and it's doing fairly well as these thing go in terms of promoting on-topic, relevant (such as it is) discussion.

    • (Score: 2) by Gaaark on Tuesday March 21, @01:44AM

      by Gaaark (41) Subscriber Badge on Tuesday March 21, @01:44AM (#481912) Homepage Journal

      For sale: web site. Never used.

      ;)

      --
      --- [redacted] due to [redacted] by Agent [redacted]. Dated [redacted] ---
  • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20, @06:11PM (2 children)

    by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20, @06:11PM (#481646)

    Its a haiku post, I kew it all along.

  • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20, @06:37PM

    by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20, @06:37PM (#481663)

    Anonymous demonstration for the right to have an honorable name.

  • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20, @06:39PM (5 children)

    by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20, @06:39PM (#481667)

    But I thought only Jesus Saves.

    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20, @09:26PM (1 child)

      by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20, @09:26PM (#481786)

      But I thought only Jesus Saves.

      But Moses invests.

      • (Score: 1, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday March 21, @12:02AM

        by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday March 21, @12:02AM (#481866)

        But I thought only Jesus Saves.

        But Moses invests.

        But Buddha recycles.

    • (Score: 1, Insightful) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20, @09:32PM (1 child)

      by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20, @09:32PM (#481791)

      Your magic sky daddy is not real, and jebus was just a run of the mill nut. The only reason people still believe this stuff is so they can justify molesting children.

      • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20, @10:02PM

        by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20, @10:02PM (#481809)

        But.... NCommander is real. I read his stories. He apparently Saves.

        Oh, I get it, you want me to know that NCommander is the Savior then. Yeah, I can get behind that. How do you want me to fuck off, my lord?

    • (Score: 2) by bob_super on Monday March 20, @10:20PM

      by bob_super (1357) on Monday March 20, @10:20PM (#481819)

      But NCommander has better backups: no 3-day downtime.

  • (Score: 2) by MichaelDavidCrawford on Monday March 20, @06:50PM

    Filter error: Comment too short

    --
    we have a ... crazy person (MDC), that regularly posts more coherent and interesting things than do these racist trolls
  • (Score: 5, Funny) by DeathMonkey on Monday March 20, @06:51PM (2 children)

    by DeathMonkey (1380) Subscriber Badge on Monday March 20, @06:51PM (#481675) Journal

    Well, what do you expect when stories are selected by a violently imposed monopoly?

    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20, @08:46PM (1 child)

      by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20, @08:46PM (#481763)

      We have a few select warlordseditors because men are not angels. I mean, we could do it like Kuro5hin, and some people really liked that place, and I'm sure it would have worked really well too, er, if men were angels.

  • (Score: 2) by GlennC on Monday March 20, @07:06PM

    by GlennC (3656) on Monday March 20, @07:06PM (#481686)

    Saved for GlennC to post a comment

    --
    The only gods that have ever been truly worshipped are wealth and power. Others are just cover.
  • (Score: 2) by Subsentient on Monday March 20, @07:21PM (8 children)

    *gurgling noises and wailing*
    --
    Instead of getting bogged down in the infuriating details, focus on the unquestionably terrible big picture. -The Onion
    • (Score: 2) by VLM on Monday March 20, @07:32PM (3 children)

      by VLM (445) Subscriber Badge on Monday March 20, @07:32PM (#481702)

      No, its not Trump's fault.

      • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20, @07:35PM

        by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20, @07:35PM (#481707)

        Hey, I understood that sentence! Your aides must be making some serious progress. I can see the next story now: "VLM learns to tie his shoes!"

      • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20, @09:28PM (1 child)

        by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20, @09:28PM (#481789)

        Fake news, alternative facts, and stuff I made up and put on twitter. Who am I?

        • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday March 21, @12:04AM

          by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday March 21, @12:04AM (#481868)

          Lock her up! Lock her up! Lock her up!

    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20, @07:33PM

      by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20, @07:33PM (#481703)

      A quick how-to guide for aspiring actors that will need to play the roles of successful autistic savants? If they're lucky they can just be like Ben Affleck, let a little kid do the autistic wailing and he can just play the socially awkward super soldier.

    • (Score: 1) by khallow on Monday March 20, @07:35PM (1 child)

      by khallow (3766) Subscriber Badge on Monday March 20, @07:35PM (#481706) Journal
      Dear NC: I keep pressing the pellet dispenser lever bar, but pellets aren't dispensing. plzfixkthxbye.
      • (Score: 2) by Pino P on Monday March 20, @08:24PM

        by Pino P (4721) Subscriber Badge on Monday March 20, @08:24PM (#481743)

        Your cheese supply was moved to another depot. Several authors have written about how various groups of rodents and Lilliputian lab assistants have dealt with similar events in fictional Rat Park replication attempts: "Who Moved My Cheese?" by Spencer Johnson, "Who Cut the Cheese?" by Stilton Jarlsberg, "Who Cut the Cheese?" by Mason Brown, "Who Stole My Cheese?" by Ilene Hochberg, and "I Moved Your Cheese" by Deepak Malhotra.

    • (Score: 2) by Gaaark on Tuesday March 21, @01:47AM

      by Gaaark (41) Subscriber Badge on Tuesday March 21, @01:47AM (#481913) Homepage Journal

      I saw that porno too!

      --
      --- [redacted] due to [redacted] by Agent [redacted]. Dated [redacted] ---
(1) 2