Olympic National Park has released a mountain goat management plan:
The mountain goats at Olympic National Park in Washington have worn out their their welcome and park officials are moving ahead with plans to get rid of them. On Monday the National Park Service released a mountain goat management plan, laying out three methods of dealing with the population, which park officials say not only is damaging the environment but is dangerous to people.
One method is killing the animals with shotguns or high-powered rifles. The other is relocating them. And the last option is a combination of the two. That is the preferred plan but would likely take years, said Louise Johnson, the park's chief of resources management.
First helicopters would capture the goats in drop nets. Next a crew would tranquilize the animals, putting them in slings under the helicopter, which would carry them to a staging area. From there, they would be placed in trucks and driven hours to their natural habitat in the North Cascade Mountains. Some of the goats — roughly half — Johnson estimates, would have to be killed because crews wouldn't be able to access them in remote, rugged terrain.
There are an estimated 600 mountain goats in the park today and the population is growing by about 8 percent a year, Johnson said.
(Score: -1, Troll) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday July 25 2017, @09:11PM
No, no, not the goats! At least let tourists give the goats one last blowjob before the slaughter.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday July 25 2017, @09:16PM (1 child)
How did Jurassic Park III end again?
(Score: 3, Funny) by MrGuy on Tuesday July 25 2017, @09:47PM
Clever goat.....
(Score: 3, Informative) by Arik on Tuesday July 25 2017, @09:59PM (7 children)
If laughter is the best medicine, who are the best doctors?
(Score: 5, Insightful) by frojack on Tuesday July 25 2017, @11:08PM (2 children)
Exactly. [outdoorsdirectory.com]
This whole problem is solvable by issuing hunting licenses. People would Pay for the privledge, do all the work, and put the harvest to good use.
Leave it to the government and they will waste both treasure and goats, and accomplish nothing.
No, you are mistaken. I've always had this sig.
(Score: 2) by rondon on Wednesday July 26 2017, @03:17PM
I wonder how much of the problem is the side of government making the rules, or the side of government enforcing them.
For example, are they doing these dumb things because the rule makers say so, or because the game/forest/park marshals all want to play Billy-BadAss and fly helicopters and shoot goats when they should just sell game licenses instead?
From my (admittedly anecdotal) evidence, I would guess it is a problem with the latter and not the former. I've known people on both sides of that divide, and the former are usually game to earn a good dollar or two on wildlife where it is responsible.
(Score: 2) by DeathMonkey on Wednesday July 26 2017, @06:35PM
Have you ever seen where these goats hang out? There's a reason helicopters are involved....
(Score: 2) by jelizondo on Wednesday July 26 2017, @03:44AM (3 children)
True story, honest to goodness. A lady, may she rest in peace, travelled for the first time to Mexico, specifically to Tijuana. Being born and raised in a smaller city in Georgia, she’s afraid of any real Mexican food so she orders a burger.
How bad could a burger be, even in made in Mexico? Well, turns out it was a goat-meat burger! She hated it.
In time she learned to like Mexican food even goat and actually spent the last years of her life living in Mexico, where she died.
So yes, let’s eat the goats!
(Score: 2) by Runaway1956 on Friday July 28 2017, @12:53AM (2 children)
The moral of the story is, living in Mexico is fatal? Hmmmm . . .
(Score: 3, Interesting) by jelizondo on Friday July 28 2017, @04:19AM (1 child)
Living is fatal. 100% mortality rate.
She died of lung cancer, caused by smoking a lifetime, after having a very good and long time, unimaginable for a girl from Savannah, Georgia. She went from a poor family to living (and owning) a 10 million dollar house right on the beach.
May she rest in peace.
(Score: 2) by Runaway1956 on Friday July 28 2017, @05:54PM
"Living is fatal. 100% mortality rate."
That is the best of all possible answers, of course.
"May she rest in peace."
I'll ditto that one.
(Score: 4, Funny) by krishnoid on Tuesday July 25 2017, @10:08PM
There's an existing COTS product [goat-simulator.com] they can use to dry-run this before going ahead with a potentially expensive plan. Here's hoping they follow good testing procedures.
(Score: 4, Funny) by aristarchus on Tuesday July 25 2017, @11:05PM (27 children)
Does this mean we shoot them with both shotguns and rifles, or that we shoot them and then re-locate them, or alternatively re-locate them and then shoot them, with either shotguns or rifle? Or some combination of more than one of these options?
(Score: 4, Insightful) by bob_super on Tuesday July 25 2017, @11:10PM (19 children)
Didn't the republicans (try to) allow wolf hunting again?
Seems to me that if you have too many wolves in one place, and too many goats in another, you can solve your problems with a truck.
(Score: 4, Funny) by JNCF on Tuesday July 25 2017, @11:33PM (15 children)
You city dwellers keep thinking goats are cute, but we killed them for a damn good reason. They cause harm, both directly to humans and indirectly by killing our livestock.
We even burned all the forest off of Mount Monadnock just to wipe out a goat herd. The mountain is still bald 2 centuries later.
At this point, reintroducing the goat is like introducing an invasive species. One might as well release lions and tigers and hippos and tse-tse flies and bot flies and the guinea worm. Heck, go for smallpox too!
People who support goats are a special kind of traitor. It's not really against a country. It's against humanity itself. We tamed the wilderness so we could live safely, and some people want to undo that.
(Score: 2) by bob_super on Tuesday July 25 2017, @11:38PM (1 child)
Googling "You city dwellers keep thinking" returns exactly 4 SN hits ... (I remembered wolves, mosquitoes and now goats)
Is that an original SN colloquialism, or did I miss the original source?
(Score: 2) by JNCF on Tuesday July 25 2017, @11:54PM
As far as I know this copypasta started with wolf anon, which is what their response to mosquito anon [soylentnews.org] seems to indicate.
(Score: 2, Informative) by Arik on Wednesday July 26 2017, @01:34AM (8 children)
If laughter is the best medicine, who are the best doctors?
(Score: 4, Funny) by Azuma Hazuki on Wednesday July 26 2017, @02:29AM (6 children)
Just a suggestion: let the goat get it out of its system with a lady goat instead of interfering with it and beating it off? "Animal husbandry" does not mean what you think it means.
I am "that girl" your mother warned you about...
(Score: 1) by Arik on Wednesday July 26 2017, @02:59AM (5 children)
If laughter is the best medicine, who are the best doctors?
(Score: 2) by bob_super on Wednesday July 26 2017, @07:05AM (2 children)
According to credible sources, you may recover after 108 years.
(Score: 1) by Arik on Wednesday July 26 2017, @06:31PM (1 child)
If laughter is the best medicine, who are the best doctors?
(Score: 2) by bob_super on Wednesday July 26 2017, @06:46PM
A billy goat cursing you.
It was only 71 years, but fans will recognize the 108 number easier.
/Chicago jokes [wikipedia.org]
(Score: 2) by Grishnakh on Wednesday July 26 2017, @05:42PM (1 child)
The first thing it finds of roughly the right shape and size, whether it's a car or a dog or your neighbors kid, IS the lady goat in his mind at this point.
I fail to see the problem here, or why any action is needed to change this. Let the dogs and the neighbor kids deal with this problem on their own. Those kids are a pain in the ass anyway, and the stupid dogs are constantly barking and disturbing the peace.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday July 26 2017, @06:29PM
I see what you did there
(Score: 2) by DeathMonkey on Wednesday July 26 2017, @06:38PM
An adult billy goat in rut with full natural horns is a bona-fide walking menace to any other species native to north america.
Yep, from the article:
The park has always dealt with the goats on a case by case basis, Johnson said, but it wasn't until 2010 when they got serious about the problem.
"We had a fatality due to a mountain goat basically goring a hiker," Johnson said.
(Score: 2) by tangomargarine on Wednesday July 26 2017, @04:02PM (3 children)
Are you sure? Wikipedia has this to say about it:
"Is that really true?" "I just spent the last hour telling you to think for yourself! Didn't you hear anything I said?"
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday July 26 2017, @04:22PM (2 children)
The post I made was originally about wolves:
https://soylentnews.org/comments.pl?noupdate=1&sid=15792&cid=409003 [soylentnews.org]
It's become something of a meme around here now, with various animals in place of wolves: mosquitoes, mountain goats, whales...
Seriously, whales????
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday July 26 2017, @04:49PM
An adult whale in rut with full natural horns is a bona-fide walking menace to any other species native to north america. Anyone that doubts it has certainly never had to give one a reach-around mano a mano. Even the grizzlies suddenly discover something very interesting in the other direction - not on sight but well before that, at merely a whiff of that exhilarating smegma scent. Me... I live for it, and some day I hope to die from it.
--
Friends dont let friend[s] enable teletype
(Score: 2) by tangomargarine on Wednesday July 26 2017, @06:24PM
I think this site's audience isn't big enough for a meme of this complexity.
If you say so. I come here basically daily and this is the first time I've run across it.
"Is that really true?" "I just spent the last hour telling you to think for yourself! Didn't you hear anything I said?"
(Score: 3, Funny) by Arik on Wednesday July 26 2017, @01:26AM (2 children)
Sir, it's plainly apparent that you have never attempted to load a truck with either sort of critter.
If laughter is the best medicine, who are the best doctors?
(Score: 2) by lx on Wednesday July 26 2017, @01:58PM
Goats and wolves? You need a boat, and a cabbage.
(Score: 2) by Runaway1956 on Friday July 28 2017, @12:33AM
I will note that he didn't mention loading the truck. I figured he was going to use a truck to run over goats and wolves. That little task may prove to be harder than he thought.
(Score: 2) by mhajicek on Tuesday July 25 2017, @11:56PM (3 children)
The shotgun part is self explanatory. For rifles, they specify "high-powered", which would mean more powerful than standard, MBR calibers like the .308, so .338 Lapua Magnum at the very least. Perhaps these goats have body armor? But then why would a shotgun work?
The spacelike surfaces of time foliations can have a cusp at the surface of discontinuity. - P. Hajicek
(Score: 4, Informative) by frojack on Wednesday July 26 2017, @01:17AM
They really mean flat shooting because of the range needed. Hard to get near a wily goat. You don't really need a big caliber.
264, 270, 280, and 7mm Remington Magnum are common goat guns in Alaska. Relatively small bullets with a big charge of powder behind for go fast go far.
No, you are mistaken. I've always had this sig.
(Score: 3, Funny) by driverless on Wednesday July 26 2017, @01:58AM (1 child)
They're actually referring to the use of a mountain howitzer [buckstix.com] for hunting.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday July 26 2017, @04:45AM
Shit... Just drop a nuke there.
(Score: 2) by frojack on Wednesday July 26 2017, @12:13AM (2 children)
Shotguns (with 00 Buck) work for exactly One Goat. From then on you would never get in range.
You need a pretty flat shooting rifle and a good set of lungs and legs to take Goats.
On the other hand, if they just want to kill them off, and leave them in the field, choppers with a door gunner would do. (And I wouldn't put it past them to do it that way).
No, you are mistaken. I've always had this sig.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday July 26 2017, @02:56AM
Heli door gunner, eh? Just like 'Nam, then, and we go with the shot 'em and then re-locate? I liked the hunting solution better, because humans should always eat what they kill, especially in war, just like in 'Nam.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday July 26 2017, @05:02AM
Oh yeah flamethrowers and harpoon guns would be so much better. Of course to be sure one should nuke it from the orbit.
(Score: 4, Informative) by ese002 on Wednesday July 26 2017, @12:06AM (1 child)
As explained in this more detailed article [outdoor-society.com], mountain goats were introduced to the region in 1925. So, there is some justification controlling their numbers. Still, they are native to North America and their native range is not that far away.
(Score: 5, Informative) by frojack on Wednesday July 26 2017, @01:07AM
And even more data here https://pubs.usgs.gov/of/2011/1313/pdf/ofr20111313.pdf [usgs.gov]
The area was taken over by the Federal Government for a National Park in 1994.
The first thing the feds did was shut down hunting, and thereby remove any check on the Goat population.
In this document the NPS documented prior management plans, including capture and removal via a variety of means.
The population reduction was much better than expected (however they were looking for eradication even at that time, and weren't much impressed with 60% reduction).
During 1981-89, under provisions of the two environmental assessments, the National Park Service removed 407 goats from the park (Cost in 1980s dollars: $162,800). During that same period 111 Goats were hunted (Archery only) on adjacent state lands, for a net profit to the state, or at least break even on the cost of selling licenses).
About 450 mountain goats are harvested each year in Alaska, with a tiny fraction of Washington's population, and a non-existent road system.
In the 1960s hunters took up to 400 goats per year in Washington [alaska.gov], mostly in the Cascades.
That brought the population down in the Cascades to levels that could be easily controlled. (Bag limits, and season closures). Alaska uses a similar area by area management system .And it cost nothing. With even minimum to moderate hunting pressure, the population issue for Wildlife Managers flips 180 degrees to one of management to maintain a sustainable population, as opposed to eradication.
Goat hunting is for the young and fit. Still the demand is there, and the meat is good.
No, you are mistaken. I've always had this sig.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday July 26 2017, @11:05AM
How about providing goats with salt so they don't go near people??
It's rather self-explanatory. Put salt out for the goats somewhere isolated. The goats will go there. They will not attack hikers to lick their sweat off? Probably cheaper than any option they consider. But you know...
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday July 26 2017, @04:54PM (1 child)
where are all the mountain lions? wolves? bears? why are these goats breeding out of control? you dumb fucks introduce a prey species without the predator? if you're going to meddle, then at least use some basic common sense and try to create a balanced ecosystem, ffs. stupid forest pigs want to ride around and shoot defenseless goats. maybe we shoot forest pigs while they are eating their bear claws instead?
(Score: 2) by Grishnakh on Wednesday July 26 2017, @06:44PM
where are all the mountain lions? wolves?
We can't have these things around! They might hurt someone's kid! We have to eliminate all large predators to make sure all wild lands are perfectly safe for children!
/s