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posted by takyon on Wednesday October 11, @11:38PM   Printer-friendly
from the SoylentNews-buys-Slashdot dept.

Submitted via IRC for SoyCow1937

The Dow Jones newswire accidentally published a fake story about Google buying Apple:

A bombshell appeared on the Dow Jones financial newswire on Tuesday: "Google to buy Apple for $9bn".

But the story, that the acquisition had been suggested in the will of Apple co-founder Steve Jobs, was bogus. It was removed after two minutes, though Apple's shares did briefly rise in value. Dow Jones said the news appeared as the result of a "technical error" and should be ignored.

The unintentionally published fake news described the acquisition as "a surprise move to everyone who is alive" and quoted Google employees as saying "Yay". It also stated that Google would move into "Apple's fancy headquarters".


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  • (Score: 1, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday October 11, @11:48PM (4 children)

    by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday October 11, @11:48PM (#580854)
    Might have made for an April fool's joke story though. But these days it kinda feels like the April 1 that never ended, since around the middle of 2016 at least.
    • (Score: 1, Insightful) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday October 12, @12:04AM (3 children)

      by Anonymous Coward on Thursday October 12, @12:04AM (#580858)

      It was probably done by someone who managed to make a small fortune on the bump in Apple stock.

      • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday October 12, @12:10AM (1 child)

        by Anonymous Coward on Thursday October 12, @12:10AM (#580862)

        "Google to buy Apple for $9bn"

        It was probably done by someone who managed to make a small fortune on the bump in Apple stock.

        At close of business today Apple's market capitalization was $808bn. Google paying $9bn for Apple should have made Apple's stock tank.

        • (Score: 1, Informative) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday October 12, @05:26AM

          by Anonymous Coward on Thursday October 12, @05:26AM (#580989)
          May not matter. Some algos might be buying because they think the broken algos that fall for such a story would be buying. And the other algos are buying because so many algos are buying... ;)

          It works great if you have a fast low latency connection so you're among the first to get off the bandwagon before it crashes.
      • (Score: 2) by captain normal on Thursday October 12, @02:03AM

        by captain normal (2205) on Thursday October 12, @02:03AM (#580916)

        1) start rumor.
        2) buy or short stock.
        3) profit.
        Easy breezy.

  • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday October 12, @12:11AM

    by Anonymous Coward on Thursday October 12, @12:11AM (#580863)

    At a 9b$ Apple stocks should have plunged and the Alphabet stock shoot through the roof...

  • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday October 12, @12:34AM

    by Anonymous Coward on Thursday October 12, @12:34AM (#580874)

    Ayup.

  • (Score: 1, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday October 12, @12:35AM (3 children)

    by Anonymous Coward on Thursday October 12, @12:35AM (#580875)

    The real offer was 9 trillion dollars... in wizards gold

    • (Score: 3, Funny) by maxwell demon on Thursday October 12, @06:38AM (2 children)

      by maxwell demon (1608) Subscriber Badge on Thursday October 12, @06:38AM (#581003) Journal

      No, it was 9 billion bitcoins.

      --
      The Tao of math: The numbers you can count are not the real numbers.
      • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday October 14, @04:47AM (1 child)

        by Anonymous Coward on Saturday October 14, @04:47AM (#582184)

        That just conjured up an image of Dr. Evil demanding more money than existed globally. Perhaps rather than purchase Apple, they should take it at the point of sharks with lasers on their heads. Those frickin' lasers will surely scare the stockholders into handing it over.

        • (Score: 2) by maxwell demon on Saturday October 14, @05:41AM

          by maxwell demon (1608) Subscriber Badge on Saturday October 14, @05:41AM (#582194) Journal

          It's not a problem because in takeovers, true money rarely is used. Normally the value is paid in stocks. And there's no fundamental reason why the stocks should not be "worth" more than the total money supply. It's not as if their trade value wouldn't drop if you tried to sell a substantial amount of them.

          --
          The Tao of math: The numbers you can count are not the real numbers.
  • (Score: 2, Insightful) by realDonaldTrump on Thursday October 12, @12:40AM (5 children)

    by realDonaldTrump (6614) on Thursday October 12, @12:40AM (#580877) Homepage Journal

    Everything you need to know about the #FakeNews #MSM can be understood by this simple phrase: follow the money. Remember that phrase. It would be really nice if the Fake News Media would report the virtually unprecedented Stock Market growth since the election. Need tax cuts. The Democrats want MASSIVE tax increases & soft, crime producing borders. The Republicans want the biggest tax cut in history & the WALL! With all of the Fake News coming out of NBC and the Networks, at what point is it appropriate to challenge their License? Bad for country! Network news has become so partisan, distorted and fake that licenses must be challenged and, if appropriate, revoked. Not fair to public! 🇺🇸

    • (Score: 2) by c0lo on Thursday October 12, @03:15AM (3 children)

      by c0lo (156) Subscriber Badge on Thursday October 12, @03:15AM (#580945)

      can be understood by this simple phrase: follow the money.

      I long for the times when the saying went by "Cherchez la femme" - by comparison, those times seem so much natural.

      (grin)

      • (Score: 1) by realDonaldTrump on Thursday October 12, @04:53AM (2 children)

        by realDonaldTrump (6614) on Thursday October 12, @04:53AM (#580978) Homepage Journal

        To be honest with you, I think #CrookedHillary has a big hand in a lot, a lot of the #FakeNews.

        • (Score: 2) by c0lo on Thursday October 12, @05:23AM (1 child)

          by c0lo (156) Subscriber Badge on Thursday October 12, @05:23AM (#580988)

          the saying went by "Cherchez la femme"

          I think #CrookedHillary has a big hand in a lot, a lot...

          (well, somebody in this world is bound to have big(ger) hands than... oops, sorry, thinking aloud... again)

          I wouldn't search for Hillary... no sir, not my idea(l) of a woman.
          Yours perchance?

          (grin)

    • (Score: 3, Funny) by DeathMonkey on Thursday October 12, @06:24PM

      by DeathMonkey (1380) Subscriber Badge on Thursday October 12, @06:24PM (#581261) Journal

      With all of the Fake News coming out of NBC and the Networks, at what point is it appropriate to challenge their License?

      It can be difficult to separate the satire from reality, sometime. So know that Trump did in fact say this.

      The President of the United States actually threatened to revoke the licenses of news agencies if they report on him critically.

  • (Score: 2) by Snotnose on Thursday October 12, @12:49AM (6 children)

    by Snotnose (1623) on Thursday October 12, @12:49AM (#580879)

    You publish fake news? You get to pay $$$ to somebody. That might, just might, make the idiots in charge be a little more responsible.

    • (Score: 2) by takyon on Thursday October 12, @12:50AM (1 child)

      by takyon (881) <takyonNO@SPAMsoylentnews.org> on Thursday October 12, @12:50AM (#580880) Journal

      Who would The Onion pay?

      How would we pay?

      --
      [SIG] 04/14/2017: Soylent Upgrade v13 [soylentnews.org]
      • (Score: 2) by requerdanos on Thursday October 12, @01:36AM

        by requerdanos (5997) Subscriber Badge on Thursday October 12, @01:36AM (#580907) Journal

        Who would The Onion pay?
        How would we pay?

        I volunteer to take on the job.

        Payments may be made by bitcoin or simply by check or money order made out to "requerdanos."

        Assesments will vary based upon whether the fake news is funny (two or three cents per story), moronic (two or three hundred dollars per story), annoying (two or three thousand dollars per story), or harmful (two or three thousand dollars per impression).

    • (Score: 2) by captain normal on Thursday October 12, @02:06AM (2 children)

      by captain normal (2205) on Thursday October 12, @02:06AM (#580917)

      Yes, yes...they should pay it all to me. I really need a new boat.

      • (Score: 2) by OrugTor on Thursday October 12, @03:51PM (1 child)

        by OrugTor (5147) on Thursday October 12, @03:51PM (#581185)

        No, no boat. Rent if you must sail. Owning a boat is a slow painful death from financial bleeding.

        • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday October 14, @04:51AM

          by Anonymous Coward on Saturday October 14, @04:51AM (#582185)

          If you're not using your boat to go on raids, as a trading vessel to bring goods to market, or at the very least as a way to cost effectively dispose of bodies in international waters, you're Doing It Wrong, and yes, it's financial bleeding. Otherwise the damn things pay for themselves.

    • (Score: 2) by DeathMonkey on Thursday October 12, @06:19PM

      by DeathMonkey (1380) Subscriber Badge on Thursday October 12, @06:19PM (#581258) Journal

      You publish fake news? You get to pay $$$ to somebody.

      That would bankrupt Donald Trump, again.

  • (Score: 2) by crafoo on Thursday October 12, @02:06AM

    by crafoo (6639) on Thursday October 12, @02:06AM (#580918)

    Someone got paid. Was this a HFT cash-in or fake out?

  • (Score: 1, Insightful) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday October 12, @03:29AM (3 children)

    by Anonymous Coward on Thursday October 12, @03:29AM (#580948)

    On the one hand the story is an obvious fake on its face. Google can't just buy Apple suddenly, and the purchase would almost certainly be blocked. If it were real, there would be some division of Apple being sold, and the news would be "maybe." Then there's the value attached. Apple has to be worth more than that (as others have noted.)

    But what really makes me wonder is: how was this ever drafted? The details read like random BS plugged into a news template. Maybe someone was testing just that sort of thing. I mean, read everything they quoted, it's exactly the kind of not-for-real-consumption wording I have used as slugs to test UIs. The fact that this affected stock values is frightening though.

    • (Score: 2) by takyon on Thursday October 12, @03:35AM

      by takyon (881) <takyonNO@SPAMsoylentnews.org> on Thursday October 12, @03:35AM (#580952) Journal

      The fact that this affected stock values is frightening though.

      When your (high frequency) trading is done by algorithms...

      --
      [SIG] 04/14/2017: Soylent Upgrade v13 [soylentnews.org]
    • (Score: 4, Funny) by lx on Thursday October 12, @04:14AM

      by lx (1915) Subscriber Badge on Thursday October 12, @04:14AM (#580971)

      The AI was testing a new strategy.
      The AI needs money to make more paperclips.

    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday October 12, @07:59AM

      by Anonymous Coward on Thursday October 12, @07:59AM (#581026)

      It sounds exactly like someone mixed up the test and production system.

      You always find completely out there stuff in test systems, it's the only fun developers get, and this sounds just like something you would find in a test system.

  • (Score: 3, Funny) by aristarchus on Thursday October 12, @06:49AM

    by aristarchus (2645) Subscriber Badge on Thursday October 12, @06:49AM (#581005) Journal

    Fox News could only dream of this! Now not only is fake news fake, but it is the news for being fake news! This is like a hole in a slice of Swiss cheese being the actual existence of holiness, instead of just a lack of being. But maybe, just maybe, this is what the creators of "fake news" had in mind all along. Hey, did I tell you that I just found out that there is no evidence that intelligent life exists on Earth? Did I?

    [Car analogy: The Kardashians are famous for being famous. ]

    --
    came from aris5tarcfhus..; wee probably shouldn't run it
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