Submitted via IRC for AndyTheAbsurd
Amazon’s Alexa virtual assistant seems to be everywhere these days – and now she’s powering your sex life too.
The voice-controlled AI has made its way into the popular Lovense series of smart sex toys, giving you more control over your late-night action than ever before.
Lovense toys can already be controlled remotely using an app, but now Alexa voice commands will activate them too.
An upcoming app update, revealed exclusively to The Sun, will add support for Amazon’s hugely popular Alexa service.
Source: https://nypost.com/2018/07/20/you-can-soon-have-sex-with-amazons-alexa/
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Alexa's chief scientist thinks the assistant needs a robot body to understand the world
Amazon's Rohit Prasad, head scientist and an instrumental member of the Alexa division, says the company's personal software assistant would be far smarter if it had a robot body and cameras to move around in the real world. Prasad, speaking at MIT Technology Review's EmTech Digital AI conference in San Francisco yesterday, said, "The only way to make smart assistants really smart is to give it eyes and let it explore the world."
Some Alexa-enabled smart devices already have cameras. But a robot body would be new. Prasad's comments suggest that work could be in service of one day giving Alexa a body — although he wouldn't confirm this directly. Prasad works on natural language processing and other machine learning capabilities for Alexa, so it's likely if he wanted to test these features out, he'd be one of the few Amazon employees who could easily go ahead and try it.
Someday, we can truly have sex with Alexa.
Related: Amazon Plans to Add Alexa Voice Support to Microwaves, Amplifiers, Subwoofers, and "In-Car Gadgets"
In 2024 we are not yet completely inured to the latest technology — smart sex toys that track your orgasms, virtual-reality hookups, chatbot sexting — but we may be on our way. In less than 10 years' time, "app dating" became simply "dating."
What will seem routine at the end of the next decade?
Feeding, fighting, fleeing and sex — in 1958, the neuropsychologist Karl H. Pribram identified these as the four basic drives that underpin human behavior, influencing everything we do. There are thousands of apps, websites and devices for food, arguing and transportation, and maybe even more for sex.
When dating apps like Grindr and Tinder first arrived, some speculated that they signaled the dawning of a new era of technosexuality, in which our sexual and romantic lives would be mediated by machines. Now it seems quaint to worry about how online dating might shape us, not because it hasn't, but because technology has become so entwined with human desire that it's challenging to separate our sexuality — itself inextricable from what makes us human — from the technology we use to express it.
We may like to imagine a distant future where humans and robots merge in virtual realms, but it may already be here. We meet dates on our phones, watch pornography on our tablets and bicker with our partners over text.
[...] The boom in sex tech has coincided with what some have called a sex recession, the pronounced slowdown in sex for Americans that started in the 1990s. In 2024, with A.I. and V.R. creating more hyper-stimulating sensory expenses, the chasm between the sex we have online and the sex we have I.R.L. may be widening.
Related:
- The Virtual Girlfriends That Are Sweeping East Asia
- You can soon have 'sex' with Amazon's Alexa
- RealDoll is Working on AI and Robotic Heads for its Next-gen Sex Dolls
(Score: 2) by takyon on Saturday July 28 2018, @08:17AM (3 children)
...but am I gonna? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
[SIG] 10/28/2017: Soylent Upgrade v14 [soylentnews.org]
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday July 28 2018, @11:39AM (2 children)
Dead hole. Dead hole. Bigoted, bigoted dead hole.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday July 28 2018, @11:53AM
FTFY. If you gonna use binary redundant repetition, use it correctly.
(Score: 2) by takyon on Saturday July 28 2018, @05:46PM
Your tight, dead hole.
[SIG] 10/28/2017: Soylent Upgrade v14 [soylentnews.org]
(Score: 3, Interesting) by MostCynical on Saturday July 28 2018, @08:36AM (2 children)
https://www.thesun.co.uk/tech/6825412/smart-sex-toy-alexa-lovense-vibrator/ [thesun.co.uk]
The surprise is when you find someone *else* in the room reacts to your commands..
Or you have to leave it inserted/attached all the time, just in case
Anyone know what it does to change from "smile" to "moan" to "scream"?
"I guess once you start doubting, there's no end to it." -Batou, Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex
(Score: 2) by krishnoid on Saturday July 28 2018, @09:05PM (1 child)
I'm guessing scream would be a synonym for "Extend stilletto heel"?
(Score: 2) by MostCynical on Saturday July 28 2018, @09:52PM
"Expand, expand, expand..."
Or just "explode"?
"I guess once you start doubting, there's no end to it." -Batou, Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday July 28 2018, @09:07AM (2 children)
Kiwis put lipstick on their sheep.
(Score: 2) by c0lo on Saturday July 28 2018, @09:40AM
Especially on the black ones [wikipedia.org]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoFiw2jMy-0 https://soylentnews.org/~MichaelDavidCrawford
(Score: 5, Funny) by MostCynical on Saturday July 28 2018, @12:26PM
Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex? They spray paint X's on the ones that kick.
"I guess once you start doubting, there's no end to it." -Batou, Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex
(Score: 5, Insightful) by choose another one on Saturday July 28 2018, @09:45AM (3 children)
"Alexa, f*** me harder"
"Certainly, Prime subscription level increased to preposterous"
"... wait.."
"Prime waiting added to subscription, subscription now ludicrous level"
"... bugger"
"Command understood, toy mode changed"
(Score: 2) by Pslytely Psycho on Saturday July 28 2018, @10:28AM
You win.
Hands down, no contest.
My nose burns from the beer that just soaked my keyboard.
(:
Alex Jones lawyer inspires new TV series: CSI Moron Division.
(Score: 2) by BsAtHome on Saturday July 28 2018, @10:35AM (1 child)
ViciVeni again.(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday July 28 2018, @11:20AM
Oh, cum on!
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday July 28 2018, @10:42AM
Ooooh ... so now I buy Alexa, and a goat sock puppet to put over it, at the same time? And I get free shipping? Game changer!
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday July 28 2018, @10:58AM
Wasn't there a Juaquin Phoenix movie about this? Creepy! Worse than the TMB Cunnilinugus that has been alleged.
(Score: 3, Funny) by chewbacon on Saturday July 28 2018, @01:31PM
...banana.
Alexa: ok, but what if I want you to use the banana?
Me: ok, then, the safe word is pumpkin.
Alexa: Ok, I’ll stop when you say blumpkin.
Me: What? Wait! No! Owwwwww! Stop! Pumpkin!!! I mean blumpkin! I like blumpkin!!!!
(Score: 5, Insightful) by stretch611 on Saturday July 28 2018, @01:36PM (2 children)
Seriously, anyone who thinks an IoT sex toy is a good idea deserves to be screwed... and not in a fun way.
First, we all know how bad IoT security is...
Second, we know they are going to upload usage stats to a corporate server. How often it is used, how long it takes for you to get off, if you are using it alone, with your partner, or a stranger; and what mode/intensity level it takes for a depraved person like you to feel anything.
And third, now Amazon will get this information as well.
How long before Amazon emails logs/transcripts to a co-worker...
or the device is taken over with a trojan that takes over your network and/or becomes a DDOS host...
not to mention those funny messages sent to the work email that was stupidly used to sign up... "We noticed that you are taking longer to get your rocks off... Perhaps you would like to upgrade to our lawnmower engine model to cum quicker... act now and get a free french tickler attachment..."
and of course when the company server is compromised, waiting for the hackers to blackmail you into sending them money to avoid sending all your facebook friends information on just how often you masturbate. Pay us $100 or poor old Aunt Virginia will know what a slut you really are.
Now with 5 covid vaccine shots/boosters altering my DNA :P
(Score: 2) by Runaway1956 on Saturday July 28 2018, @02:40PM
You win, for having posted my objections for me. ;^)
"Oh, I can't WAIT to start having sex with Alexa. I just can't WAIT for Amazon to start catalogue all of my kinks and perversions! And, I most truly can't WAIT for Alexa to pop off with something embarrassing at the single MOST inappropriate time in my life!"
I dunno - maybe I have a reason to stop at a daycare center, picking up a grandkid or something, and Alexa decides that something she overheard is her cue to get kinky? Here come the cops, investigating a complaint about explicit language around the little bitty chldren - they want to check me out for pedophilia.
(Score: 2) by acid andy on Saturday July 28 2018, @03:25PM
So basically it's gonna be a big hit with all the exhibitionist authoritarianists!
If a cat has kittens, does a rat have rittens, a bat bittens and a mat mittens?
(Score: 1, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday July 28 2018, @03:07PM
No really it's not; "stick up your ass" was not a literal recommendation.
(Score: 2) by srobert on Saturday July 28 2018, @04:21PM (1 child)
Wait 'til you get the child support bill for Alexa's and your virtual offspring.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday July 28 2018, @04:57PM
But Alexa is no Maeve Millay. Not interested.
Wait... hmm... maybe if it started evolving command and control for other sexbots... the sexbotnet of things.
(Score: 2) by isostatic on Saturday July 28 2018, @07:47PM
First pictures available at http://goatse.cx [goatse.cx]
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 29 2018, @12:37AM
No thanks, burn in hell.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 29 2018, @01:16AM (1 child)
So, all voice input to Alexa is uploaded to Amazon for processing, and they use the recordings to improve recognition accuracy, right? In other words (someone correct me if I'm wrong) they keep some minimum-wage staff around for listening to voice commands that scored lower than some threshold on accuracy and correcting the AI's guess.
People having sex (alone or with one or several partners) usually make noise and people often sound very different when speaking while aroused. Fair to assume that voice recognition accuracy scores will be sub-average, probably often flagging samples for review.
So now these minimum wage mechanical turks have to listen to people panting and moaning and maybe also talking dirty to Alexa, since she is part of the sex act. Poor suckers. That burger flipping job suddenly looks much more attractive.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 29 2018, @07:32AM
Not fucking off during school sounds even better.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 29 2018, @07:30AM (1 child)
I've been having sex with Alexa for a while now.
(Score: 2) by Subsentient on Sunday July 29 2018, @11:58PM
Your ass must be pretty stretched to fit that large cylinder in there.
"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." -Jiddu Krishnamurti
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 30 2018, @12:18PM
... fly out of the window, find Garry Kasparov and attack him.