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posted by chromas on Tuesday August 14 2018, @03:33AM   Printer-friendly
from the ~blame dept.

Ajit Pai admits FCC lied about "DDoS," blames it on Obama administration

Federal Communications Commission Chairman Ajit Pai acknowledged Monday that the FCC lied about its public comment system being taken down by a DDoS attack during the net neutrality repeal proceeding.

Pai blamed the spreading of false information on employees hired by the Obama administration and said that he isn't to blame because he "inherited... a culture" from "the prior Administration" that led to the spreading of false information. Pai wrote:

I am deeply disappointed that the FCC's former Chief Information Officer [David Bray], who was hired by the prior Administration and is no longer with the Commission, provided inaccurate information about this incident to me, my office, Congress, and the American people. This is completely unacceptable. I'm also disappointed that some working under the former CIO apparently either disagreed with the information that he was presenting or had questions about it, yet didn't feel comfortable communicating their concerns to me or my office."

Pai's admission came in a statement yesterday. "It has become clear that in addition to a flawed comment system, we inherited from the prior Administration a culture in which many members of the Commission's career IT staff were hesitant to express disagreement with the Commission's former CIO in front of FCC management," he also said.

Inspector General report.

Also at The Verge:

The toughest condemnation of Pai's actions came from Fight for the Future, a net neutrality advocacy organization, which called for Pai to step down. "Ajit Pai should resign. These new revelations from the FCC's internal investigation are a smoking gun," the group said in a statement. "They clearly show that the FCC chairman knew months ago that there had never been a cyber attack on the FCC's comment system, but did nothing, allowing the false narrative to spread in a cynical attempt to downplay the overwhelming opposition to his attack on net neutrality."

Previously: John Oliver Leads Net Neutrality Defenders to Crash FCC Website. Again.
Senator Blasts FCC for Refusing to Provide DDoS Analysis
FCC Says its Specific Plan to Stop DDoS Attacks Must Remain Secret


Original Submission

Related Stories

John Oliver Leads Net Neutrality Defenders to Crash FCC Website. Again. 72 comments

Common Dreams reports

Last Week Tonight host John Oliver on [May 7] issued another powerful rallying cry to save net neutrality protections, and, repeating the outcome of his 2014 plea, his viewers flooded the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) site, causing it to temporarily crash.

[...] Oliver said it's worth noting that [FCC Chairman Ajit] Pai is "a former lawyer for Verizon", a company which "won a lawsuit which meant that if the FCC wanted strong, enforceable protection, its only real option was to reclassify the ISPs, and yet he cheerily insists under questioning that there is just not evidence that cable companies were engaging in rampant wrongdoing".

"Title II is the most solid legal foundation we have right now for a strong, enforceable net neutrality protections", Oliver said, and urged "we, the people, [to] take this matter into our own hands".

To that end, Last Week Tonight bought the domain name gofccyourself.com, which redirects users to the official FCC page[1] where open internet advocates can leave a comment and call for these protections to remain in place. (Oliver notes that it simplifies the commenting process the FCC "has made more difficult since three years ago".)

"Everyone needs to get involved. Comment now, and then maybe comment again when the FCC makes its proposal official. Even call you representative and your senators", Oliver urged.

So successful was the start of his campaign, according to Motherboard, that there was such a high volume of traffic flooding the Federal Communications Commission that the site temporarily went down. As of this writing, it is up and running again.

[1] The fcc.gov page is almost entirely behind scripts.


Original Submission

Senator Blasts FCC for Refusing to Provide DDoS Analysis 6 comments

US Senator Ron Wyden (D-Ore.) criticized the Federal Communications Commission for failing to turn over its internal analysis of the DDoS attacks that hit the FCC's public comment system.

The FCC declined to provide its analysis of the attacks to Gizmodo, which had filed a Freedom of Information Act (FoIA) request for a copy of all records related to the FCC analysis "that concluded a DDoS attack had taken place." The FCC declined the request, saying that its initial analysis on the day of the attack "did not result in written documentation."

“If the FCC did suffer a DDoS attack and yet created no written materials about it, that would be deeply irresponsible and cast doubt on how the FCC could possibly prevent future attacks," Wyden told Gizmodo in a story today. "On the other hand, if FCC is playing word games to avoid responding to FoIA requests, it would clearly violate Chairman Ajit Pai’s pledge to increase transparency at the FCC.”

Wyden also said that the FCC's response to the FoIA request raised "legitimate questions about whether the agency is being truthful when it claims a DDoS attack knocked its commenting system offline.”

After yesterday's articles about the FoIA request, the FCC issued a statement claiming that it is "categorically false" to suggest that "the FCC lacks written documentation of its analysis." The FCC claimed that Gizmodo only asked for analysis produced on May 8, the day of the attack, and that the FCC thus doesn't have to provide any written analysis produced after that date. Those are the "word games" that Wyden referred to.

Gizmodo's new article, titled "The FCC Is Full of Shit," disputes the FCC's characterization of the FoIA request.

-- submitted from IRC


Original Submission

FCC Says its Specific Plan to Stop DDoS Attacks Must Remain Secret 30 comments

Arthur T Knackerbracket has found the following story:

The Federal Communications Commission has told members of Congress that it won't reveal exactly how it plans to prevent future attacks on the public comment system.

FCC Chairman Ajit Pai and Democratic lawmakers have been exchanging letters about a May 8 incident in which the public comments website was disrupted while many people were trying to file comments on Pai's plan to dismantle net neutrality rules. The FCC says it was hit by DDoS attacks. The commission hasn't revealed much about what it's doing to prevent future attacks, but it said in a letter last month that it was researching "additional solutions" to protect the comment system.

[...] "Given the ongoing nature of the threats to disrupt the Commission's electronic comment filing system, it would undermine our system's security to provide a specific roadmap of the additional solutions to which we have referred," the FCC chief information officer wrote. "However, we can state that the FCC's IT staff has worked with commercial cloud providers to implement Internet‐based solutions to limit the amount of disruptive bot-related activity if another bot-driven event occurs."

[...] When responding to another question about what hardware resources are being committed to improve the comment system's uptime, the CIO again said that revealing specific details would undermine the FCC's security.

[...] There are apparently no law enforcement agencies involved in the FCC's ongoing investigation because the attacks weren't significant enough. "The FCC consulted with the FBI following this incident, and it was agreed this was not a 'significant cyber incident' consistent with the definition contained in Presidential Policy Directive-41 (PPD-41)," the FCC said in its letter to House Democrats.

[...] Pai told House Democrats to trust him that the situation is under control.

-- submitted from IRC


Original Submission

FBI Investigating Public Comments on Net Neutrality Repeal 32 comments

Report: FBI opens criminal investigation into net neutrality comment fraud

The Federal Bureau of Investigation is investigating the use of stolen identities in public comments on the government's repeal of net neutrality rules, BuzzFeed News reported Saturday.

The investigation focuses on "whether crimes were committed when potentially millions of people's identities were posted to the FCC's website without their permission, falsely attributing to them opinions about net neutrality rules," the report said.

"Two organizations told BuzzFeed News, each on condition that they not be named, that the FBI delivered subpoenas to them related to the comments," BuzzFeed wrote.

The FBI subpoenas came a few days after similar subpoenas sent by NY AG Barbara Underwood in mid-October. Underwood "subpoenaed more than a dozen telecommunications trade groups, lobbying contractors, and Washington advocacy organizations," The New York Times reported in October.

Previously: John Oliver Leads Net Neutrality Defenders to Crash FCC Website. Again.
Bot Floods the FCC's Website with Anti-Net Neutrality Comments
FCC Officially Publishes Net Neutrality Repeal
U.S. Officially Repeals Net Neutrality Rules; FOIA Request Reveals Details of Bogus DDoS Attack
FCC Chairman Ajit Pai Passes Blame Over Lying About Public Comment System Being DDoSed
99.7 Percent of Unique FCC Comments Favored Net Neutrality
Ajit Pai Admits Russia Interfered in Net Neutrality Process amid Lawsuit


Original Submission

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  • (Score: 0, Funny) by Captival on Tuesday August 14 2018, @03:53AM (25 children)

    by Captival (6866) on Tuesday August 14 2018, @03:53AM (#721228)

    Obviously Pai's story couldn't possibly be true, because no Obama administration employee has ever done anything wrong. Ever! In all 8 years! Obama said so himself! A scandal-free administration! And since doubting him is automatically racist, I'm certainly not going to try it.

    • (Score: 3, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday August 14 2018, @04:36AM

      by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday August 14 2018, @04:36AM (#721240)

      On one hand I understand your frustration over the Saint Obama meme, on the other hand you're a blind fool.

    • (Score: 5, Insightful) by Fluffeh on Tuesday August 14 2018, @04:38AM (19 children)

      by Fluffeh (954) Subscriber Badge on Tuesday August 14 2018, @04:38AM (#721241) Journal

      Although you're clearly trolling, as an outsider to US politics, it really does seem that compared to the current administration, the last one is an eight year blank period where there were no outrages, no morning sound-bytes of new and creative ways to bring embarrassment and shame to one of the great countries in the world.

      It's like the noisy, smelly, dumb kid is presenting a homework assignment in front of the class, right after the nerdy smart kid at school did his presentation.

      • (Score: 1, Insightful) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday August 14 2018, @05:10AM (17 children)

        by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday August 14 2018, @05:10AM (#721246)

        So, the NSA's mass surveillance, unconstitutional drone assassinations, and 7+ military interventions going on when Obama was in power just never happened? All of which Trump is now doing, yes, but let's not try to rehabilitate the old evils just because the new evil is worse.

        • (Score: 5, Insightful) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday August 14 2018, @05:41AM (13 children)

          by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday August 14 2018, @05:41AM (#721251)

          *herp* *derp* *whatabout* *durr* *hurr*

          I'd tell you to shove your whataboutism up your ass but I doubt it'll fit with your head in there.

          • (Score: 0, Troll) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday August 14 2018, @06:08AM (12 children)

            by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday August 14 2018, @06:08AM (#721254)

            He directly mentioned the previous administration and compared it to the current one, so it's not whataboutism at all. Obama was awful, and this fact should not be overlooked just because Trump is worse.

            • (Score: 5, Informative) by janrinok on Tuesday August 14 2018, @07:54AM (11 children)

              by janrinok (52) Subscriber Badge on Tuesday August 14 2018, @07:54AM (#721269) Journal

              This really is growing tiresome.

              Many topics seem to collapse into another session of political name calling. Pai could have fired subordinates that he didn't think were doing the job - so it is no good blaming his predecessor. He collects the big bucks - so he is currently responsible! But Pai has knowingly lied about this up until the last few weeks and nobody seems to think that it is significant, and he simply stays in post?

              Is there any chance that we can forget the partisan politics and actually discuss the story?

              • (Score: 5, Insightful) by Runaway1956 on Tuesday August 14 2018, @10:13AM (8 children)

                by Runaway1956 (2926) Subscriber Badge on Tuesday August 14 2018, @10:13AM (#721308) Homepage Journal

                Trump says he's loyal, so his job is secure. So long as he stays loyal to Trump, he can be video's eating dead babies, and throwing kittens out the window for skeet shooting targets - and he's fine.

                A lot of people hate a lot of things about Trump, but that "loyalty" thing is one of the worst, in my view.

                --
                "no more than 8 bullets in a round" - Joe Biden
                • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday August 14 2018, @02:51PM

                  by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday August 14 2018, @02:51PM (#721385)

                  Unless he nevertheless manages to bring shame on Trump. Trump's loyalty flows in exactly one direction, to him. He'll throw anyone under the bus who he feels embarasses him personally.

                • (Score: 4, Interesting) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday August 14 2018, @03:06PM (2 children)

                  by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday August 14 2018, @03:06PM (#721392)
                  • (Score: 1) by nitehawk214 on Tuesday August 14 2018, @05:53PM (1 child)

                    by nitehawk214 (1304) on Tuesday August 14 2018, @05:53PM (#721448)

                    What the fuck? Did we not fight a war over this kind of bullshit?

                    --
                    "Don't you ever miss the days when you used to be nostalgic?" -Loiosh
                    • (Score: 2) by Azuma Hazuki on Tuesday August 14 2018, @11:14PM

                      by Azuma Hazuki (5086) Subscriber Badge on Tuesday August 14 2018, @11:14PM (#721593) Journal

                      Remember, "it's just a goddamn piece of paper." I'm told Dubya didn't actually say that, but the poor thing's covered in chimpanzee shit stains, and actions speak louder than words...

                      --
                      I am "that girl" your mother warned you about...
                • (Score: 2) by realDonaldTrump on Thursday August 16 2018, @12:29AM (3 children)

                  by realDonaldTrump (6614) on Thursday August 16 2018, @12:29AM (#721972) Homepage Journal

                  Ajit has done some great things. He did the repeal of net neutrality, so important to closing up that internet. And to making our internet companies profitable. He did the set-up for the Sinclair-Tribune merge. The repeal of the main studio Rule and everything else. But, he killed the deal. They came to him, the deal was ready, he killed it. He didn't tell them "no" but he sent them to the judge. Which usually means, that deal is dead. Or you spend YEARS in court and the deal goes through in a completely new world. Like making the deal in horse and buggy days. And the judge lets it go through in space rocket days. He says, "OK, you can buy the buggy whip factory." If he lets it go through -- like I said, a lot of times the judge says "no." I talked to Ajit. Before I appointed him. And, not a word about this. He should have told me he would kill the deal. And, I wouldn't have hired him. Because that deal is very dear to my heart -- and I have A LOT of heart. It would have created the greatest Conservative voice for our Country. For our people. Bigger than Fox, bigger than OANN. Very positive news. So beautiful, Ajit killed it. That's not loyalty!!!

                  • (Score: 2) by Runaway1956 on Thursday August 16 2018, @12:40AM (2 children)

                    by Runaway1956 (2926) Subscriber Badge on Thursday August 16 2018, @12:40AM (#721975) Homepage Journal

                    making our internet companies profitable

                    You just don't get it. It isn't about profit. It's about the advancement of mankind. You can't see that, can you? When we were kids, the only way to communicate with Grandma, 500 miles away, was by letter, by very expensive long distance telephone, or to drive the 500 miles to Grandma's house. Today, talking to Grandma is as simple as flipping a couple switches, and you can talk all day and into the night - with video.

                    Now, Doctor Dumpster Trumpster - when are you going to get Verizon busy with the fiber-optic build out? I'd like to call my grandma, and they still don't have internet in Heaven!

                    --
                    "no more than 8 bullets in a round" - Joe Biden
                    • (Score: 2) by realDonaldTrump on Thursday August 16 2018, @01:28AM (1 child)

                      by realDonaldTrump (6614) on Thursday August 16 2018, @01:28AM (#721996) Homepage Journal

                      Our internet companies are dieing. Do you remember America Online? Possibly you're too young to remember. But that used to be one of the biggest ones. Now it's TINY. Our internet companies must make a profit -- or they will DIE. And net neutrality was going to take away their flexibility.

                      Our cable TV companies -- Comcast and so many others -- are in big trouble too. So many folks canceling their Cable. And changing to TV over internet. Maybe you can remember video stores -- Blockbuster, Hollywood Video and so many little ones. They died because people stopped going. And the same is happening to our Cable TV. But a lot of our Cable companies don't just sell TV. They sell internet. With Net Neutrality repealed, they can charge a little more for TV over internet. And a little less for Cable TV. So they can stay profitable.

                      If our internet companies go out of business, no more video chats with sexy ladies. It's back to FAX!!!

                      • (Score: 2) by Runaway1956 on Thursday August 16 2018, @02:03AM

                        by Runaway1956 (2926) Subscriber Badge on Thursday August 16 2018, @02:03AM (#722005) Homepage Journal

                        Our internet companies are dieing.

                        That is complete and utter bullshit. The Telcos are carting money to the bank by the truckload. AOL needed to die, they had a shit business model. FFS, they were selling subscriptions to old people who didn't own a computer, and had no idea WTF the internet was. AOL were fucking parasites. If AOL disappears from human history tomorrow, that is exactly what they deserve. DIE PARASITES - starting with your little buddy Ajit Pai.

                        Cable companies, pretty much ditto. The stupid bastards simply don't understand that their offerings are overpriced by about - ohhhh - let me try to be fair - at least 50%, and possibly as much as 150%. Their infrastructure has been in place for decades, it's paid for. They don't have any really big expenses. They are coasting along on decades old technology, and damned near everything they rake in is PROFIT today. Is it actually WORTH a dollar a day to have their cheapest offerings in my home? Not only "NO!" but "FUCK NO!" Is it worth 2 to 10 dollars a day for their "premium" offerings? Uhhhhh - their very best package might be worth a buck-fifty. (and that is assuming a person has an interest in watching the boob tube)

                        All of the cable companies can go belly up, their assets sold off, and smaller companies with more realistic expectations can take over where they left off.

                        Just cut the god-damned cable!

                        Die, bitches, DIE!

                        --
                        "no more than 8 bullets in a round" - Joe Biden
              • (Score: 2) by JoeMerchant on Tuesday August 14 2018, @01:10PM

                by JoeMerchant (3937) on Tuesday August 14 2018, @01:10PM (#721345)

                Pai could have fired subordinates that he didn't think were doing the job

                But, isn't it clear? Under the current administration the phrase "YOU'RE FIRED!!!" has copyright held by the CinC.

                --
                Україна досі не є частиною Росії. https://www.newsweek.com/russian-state-tv-ukraine-war-dirty-bomb-putin-1754428
              • (Score: 1, Insightful) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday August 14 2018, @10:05PM

                by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday August 14 2018, @10:05PM (#721559)

                This really is growing tiresome.

                It is indeed tiresome. The person above said that Obama seemed free of outrages compared to Trump, but replying to this by mentioning several serious scandals and Constitutional violations is seen as "whataboutism," even though that makes no sense because the other person mentioned Obama first. In other words, the person who threw out that term has no idea what it actually means.

                I guess responding to what other people actually say isn't a good idea.

        • (Score: 2, Disagree) by http on Tuesday August 14 2018, @08:06AM

          by http (1920) Subscriber Badge on Tuesday August 14 2018, @08:06AM (#721276)

          s/Obama/Bush/ ; # no change

          --
          I browse at -1 when I have mod points. It's unsettling.
        • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday August 14 2018, @05:13PM (1 child)

          by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday August 14 2018, @05:13PM (#721427)

          Yes, but he did those things while sounding really smart!

          And sounding really smart is all that matters!

          • (Score: 2) by Runaway1956 on Thursday August 16 2018, @12:44AM

            by Runaway1956 (2926) Subscriber Badge on Thursday August 16 2018, @12:44AM (#721976) Homepage Journal

            Uh, uhhh, uhhh! I don't know, maybe the brown chimp sounded a little smarter than the white chimp who preceeded him, if you happen to speak brown chimp dialect. Uh, uhhh, uhhhhhhh!

            --
            "no more than 8 bullets in a round" - Joe Biden
      • (Score: 2) by arslan on Wednesday August 15 2018, @03:27AM

        by arslan (3462) on Wednesday August 15 2018, @03:27AM (#721665)

        Umm... so you use popularity contest as a measure of an administration's success? A bit juvenile don't you think? Why don't you use things like body count, violations of human rights, economic & social impact to its citizens, etc.?

        That dumb kid might just surprise you if you hold an open unprejudiced mind.

    • (Score: 1, Insightful) by realDonaldTrump on Tuesday August 14 2018, @06:50AM (1 child)

      by realDonaldTrump (6614) on Tuesday August 14 2018, @06:50AM (#721259) Homepage Journal

      You people are everywhere in our government. But not for long. Every day, we're working very hard to find you. And fire you. Shadey James Comey -- fired. Sally Yates -- such a cunt -- fired. FBI Lover Boy Peter Strzok -- fired. We're "taking out" Obama's people. And putting in MY people. People with INTEGRITY. ACCOUNTABILITY. And most of all, LOYALTY. Look out!!!

      • (Score: 1, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday August 14 2018, @02:45PM

        by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday August 14 2018, @02:45PM (#721381)

        Go practice your perp walk.

    • (Score: 5, Insightful) by Thexalon on Tuesday August 14 2018, @11:14AM (1 child)

      by Thexalon (636) on Tuesday August 14 2018, @11:14AM (#721324)

      So here's the main difference I'm noticing between the Trump and Obama administrations: Obama's people at least gave lip service to concepts like "serving the public trust", and were not seeking to loot the public treasury while in office. Sure, in some cases they were hoping to land cushy gigs on K Street, Wall Street, or think tanks when they were done, but what they weren't doing were moves like deregulating companies in which they or their family members just happened to have significant monetary stakes.

      And that's because a key value of Donald Trump is "He who is richer is better, regardless of how he got there." And he hires people that agree with that value. And surprise surprise, that means that he's hiring people whose government salary isn't enough income to keep them happy, and are constantly looking for kickbacks and other ways to personally profit from their government decisions. Again, nothing that new in government, but Trump and his people are not even seriously trying to hide it.

      And yes, this sort of thing starts at the top. For instance, about a year ago, when I was closely reading all the regulatory changes that came through on a weekly basis, I noticed cutbacks on a bunch of tariffs coming straight from the president's office that were a bit disguised as to what the cuts actually were. So I looked up all the references and such, and it just so happened that a bunch of the items that had substantial cuts were precisely the materials and countries used in Ivanka Trump's handbag business. You'd have a very hard time convincing me that that was a coincidence.

      --
      The only thing that stops a bad guy with a compiler is a good guy with a compiler.
  • (Score: 5, Insightful) by Mykl on Tuesday August 14 2018, @04:00AM (7 children)

    by Mykl (1112) on Tuesday August 14 2018, @04:00AM (#721230)

    Wasn't Pai one of the Commissioners in that previous administration? Wouldn't make him in part responsible for the very culture that he is blaming?

    From https://www.fcc.gov/about/leadership/ajit-pai#bio [fcc.gov]:

    Ajit Pai is the Chairman of the Federal Communications Commission. He was designated Chairman by President Donald J. Trump in January 2017. He had previously served as Commissioner at the FCC, appointed by then-President Barack Obama and confirmed unanimously by the United States Senate in May 2012.

    • (Score: 2) by legont on Tuesday August 14 2018, @04:32AM (1 child)

      by legont (4179) on Tuesday August 14 2018, @04:32AM (#721238)

      Perhaps, he was a mole?

      Is an American spy working for the Soviets responsible for their atrocities?

      To fight a dominating system one has to go high up within that system and often collaborate in the process. Idealists are long dead.

      --
      "Wealth is the relentless enemy of understanding" - John Kenneth Galbraith.
      • (Score: -1, Redundant) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday August 14 2018, @06:08AM

        by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday August 14 2018, @06:08AM (#721255)

        It was a quiet little town, one in which everyone knew everyone else. The neighbor, having instantly recognized Glabert, waved; Glabert waved back, and then continued his journey down the sidewalk. An odd dragging sound could be heard coming from behind the man. Upon close inspection, one would notice the source.

        Glabert was wearing thick gloves and his left hand was balled up into a fist; this must have been to prevent the barbed wire he had wrapped around his hand from coming loose. If an observer were to look for the other end of the wire, they would see that it was firmly wrapped around an object behind Glabert. That object was a little girl.

        The naked girl was being dragged face-first along the cement sidewalk. You see, Glabert had already finished violating and tormenting her, and so he had decided to take her for a walk out of the goodness of his heart. Naturally, the barbed wire wrapped around the child's neck was for her own safety; otherwise, she might wander off and enter a dangerous area. It was then that Glabert noticed that the girl had fallen silent.

        He snorted. "Looks like another one broke," the man mumbled to himself. Glabert, being all too aware of the fragility of children, found this to be an utterly mundane event. But, then, the man had a horrible realization. She had been the last one.

        There was no more children in this dumpy little town; he had expended every last one of them at an unsustainable rate. The man remained silent for several seconds, sweating like mad. Then, he screamed. He screamed, he kicked, he swore, and he slammed. Glabert took all of his anger out on the little girl's wretched corpse. How dare she be so fragile! How dare she be the last one! How dare she! However, the terrible reality did not change. It was the worst mental breakdown of his life, and had he not realized another important fact, he would surely have succumbed to despair. It was all too simple.

        There was a whole world out there; a world filled with delicacies. Yes, he had no need to stay in this town! He could explore the world and "sample" all of its yummy little children. Glabert's despair had been instantly replaced with confidence and hope for the future. The brave man rose up, and then set out on an adventure that could rival those of the greatest heroes. And he did so while wearing a smile on his face. Oh, what a terrifying, violent smile it was...

        Several years later, a new word would be added to all of the world's dictionaries. Children who were brutally beaten, tortured, violated, and then killed were said to be "glaberted."

    • (Score: 5, Informative) by captain normal on Tuesday August 14 2018, @04:34AM (4 children)

      by captain normal (2205) on Tuesday August 14 2018, @04:34AM (#721239)

      One thing I've noticed in the last year and a half is that virtually everyone in the current U.S. administration lies as a matter of course.

      --
      “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Thomas Edison
      • (Score: 2) by JoeMerchant on Tuesday August 14 2018, @01:13PM (3 children)

        by JoeMerchant (3937) on Tuesday August 14 2018, @01:13PM (#721346)

        Lying is their job, aka diplomacy. The current administration just does the "make the lie believable and unoffensive" part very, very poorly.

        --
        Україна досі не є частиною Росії. https://www.newsweek.com/russian-state-tv-ukraine-war-dirty-bomb-putin-1754428
        • (Score: 2, Interesting) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday August 14 2018, @02:22PM

          by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday August 14 2018, @02:22PM (#721371)

          The President in particular is very much a figurehead — he wields no real power whatsoever. He is apparently chosen by the government, but the qualities he is required to display are not those of leadership but those of finely judged outrage. For this reason the President is always a controversial choice, always an infuriating but fascinating character. His job is not to wield power but to draw attention away from it.

          I read this in the Hitchhiker's guide recently; it hit me like a ton of bricks.

        • (Score: 2) by Joe Desertrat on Wednesday August 15 2018, @08:08AM (1 child)

          by Joe Desertrat (2454) on Wednesday August 15 2018, @08:08AM (#721706)

          The current administration just does the "make the lie believable and unoffensive" part very, very poorly

          They seem to go more for the big lie: "...when one lies, one should lie big, and stick to it. They keep up their lies, even at the risk of looking ridiculous."

          • (Score: 2) by JoeMerchant on Wednesday August 15 2018, @01:51PM

            by JoeMerchant (3937) on Wednesday August 15 2018, @01:51PM (#721771)

            It's not a risk of looking ridiculous, it's an intentional goal.

            I think this is called "negotiation by outrage" - it's a childish tactic and usually backfires, but can have some limited success. For example: Land for sale, asking $60,000 - I offer $32,000, seller declines but counters with $48,000 - we negotiate from there and I end up buying the land for $44,000. If I had started with an offer of $44,000 and stuck to it, the deal would likely have just died. Sitting and stewing on the ridiculous idea of $32,000 softened the seller's idea of what their lowest acceptable price was.

            --
            Україна досі не є частиною Росії. https://www.newsweek.com/russian-state-tv-ukraine-war-dirty-bomb-putin-1754428
  • (Score: 3, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday August 14 2018, @06:05AM

    by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday August 14 2018, @06:05AM (#721252)

    Communications committee has problems communicating...

  • (Score: 3, Funny) by pTamok on Tuesday August 14 2018, @07:57AM (1 child)

    by pTamok (3042) on Tuesday August 14 2018, @07:57AM (#721272)

    This is the first excuse in the Three Envelopes story [funnycleanjokes.com].

    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday August 14 2018, @08:44AM

      by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday August 14 2018, @08:44AM (#721284)

      We need to have that joke time-compressed -- Pai needs to hurry up and get to envelope #3 in the next few weeks.

  • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday August 14 2018, @01:00PM

    by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday August 14 2018, @01:00PM (#721341)

    "Hey mister referee, mister referee, mister referee! It wasn't my fault, it was the other guy"

    https://youtu.be/Q84MD5luZ7Y?t=153 [youtu.be]

  • (Score: 5, Insightful) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday August 14 2018, @02:01PM (1 child)

    by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday August 14 2018, @02:01PM (#721366)

    Sorry Ajit,

    You are in charge of the agency. You can't point the finger at it and claim you don't control it.
    If you can't control it, then you must resign. This is how it works.

    • (Score: 4, Informative) by DeathMonkey on Tuesday August 14 2018, @06:10PM

      by DeathMonkey (1380) on Tuesday August 14 2018, @06:10PM (#721457) Journal

      The so-called party of personal responsibility blames everything on everyone but themselves.

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