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posted by Fnord666 on Friday February 22 2019, @02:55PM   Printer-friendly
from the just-reboot-it dept.

Submitted via IRC for Bytram

Have you tried taking it off and putting it back on again?

"My left shoe won't even reboot": Faulty app bricks Nike smart sneakers

Nike users are experiencing some technical difficulties in the wild world of connected footwear. Nike's $350 "Adapt BB" sneakers are the latest in the company's line of self-lacing shoes, and they come with the "Nike Adapt" app for Android and iOS. The app pairs with the shoes and lets you adjust the tightness of the laces, customize the lights (yeah, there are lights), and see, uh, how much battery life your shoes have left. The only problem: Nike's Android app doesn't work.

Android users report that their new kicks aren't paring with the app properly, and some customers report failed firmware updates for the shoes, which render them unable to pair with the app at all. Nike's app on Google Play has been flooded with 1-star reviews in response to the faulty update.

One user writes, "The first software update for the shoe threw an error while updating, bricking the right shoe." Another says, "App will only sync with left shoe and then fails every time. Also, app says left shoe is already connected to another device whenever I try to reinstall and start over."

"My left shoe won't even reboot." writes another. One user offers a possible solution, saying, "You need to do a manual reset of both shoes per the instructions."


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  • (Score: 5, Insightful) by Runaway1956 on Friday February 22 2019, @02:59PM (26 children)

    by Runaway1956 (2926) Subscriber Badge on Friday February 22 2019, @02:59PM (#805048) Journal

    Someone, tell me this is an Onion story. Please.

    • (Score: 3, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @03:00PM (2 children)

      by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @03:00PM (#805049)

      Do they use BlueToe(tm)?

      • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @04:53PM (1 child)

        by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @04:53PM (#805136)

        Abort, Retry, Fail?

    • (Score: 4, Interesting) by opinionated_science on Friday February 22 2019, @03:11PM (11 children)

      by opinionated_science (4031) on Friday February 22 2019, @03:11PM (#805056)

      the *absolute* best thing about this story, is learning about Lock Laces. [amazon.com]

      Now *thats* modern tech! /s

      • (Score: 2) by Runaway1956 on Friday February 22 2019, @04:24PM (1 child)

        by Runaway1956 (2926) Subscriber Badge on Friday February 22 2019, @04:24PM (#805112) Journal

        The Spartans had lock laces. If the Athenians had them, they certainly didn't give them to little boys.

        • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @11:10PM

          by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @11:10PM (#805364)

          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pederasty_in_ancient_Greece#Sparta [wikipedia.org]

          Thomas F. Scanlon believes Sparta, during its Dorian polis time, is thought to be the first city to practice athletic nudity, and one of the first to formalize pederasty.[90]

      • (Score: 3, Interesting) by HiThere on Friday February 22 2019, @05:38PM (7 children)

        by HiThere (866) Subscriber Badge on Friday February 22 2019, @05:38PM (#805175) Journal

        I notice those things are "elastic". I wonder how long you can use them before they wear out. In the last decade I've experienced elastic wearing out increasingly rapidly. (I suspect that it's cheaper to make elastic that wears out quickly, but it's gotten to the point that I *try* to avoid buying things that depend on elastic to work.)

        --
        Javascript is what you use to allow unknown third parties to run software you have no idea about on your computer.
        • (Score: 2, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @06:12PM (1 child)

          by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @06:12PM (#805196)

          it's gotten to the point that I *try* to avoid buying things that depend on elastic to work.

          Underwear for example? And is your username also your catchphrase?

          • (Score: 2) by HiThere on Saturday February 23 2019, @05:11PM

            by HiThere (866) Subscriber Badge on Saturday February 23 2019, @05:11PM (#805639) Journal

            You did note the "try"? And, yes, underwear is one of the places I noticed elastic wearing out quickly. These days I supplement the "elastic" with a shoelace tied around the top. Ugh!, and it's a nuisance, but it works better than the elastic after the elastic has been washed a couple of times.

            --
            Javascript is what you use to allow unknown third parties to run software you have no idea about on your computer.
        • (Score: 3, Interesting) by opinionated_science on Friday February 22 2019, @06:45PM (1 child)

          by opinionated_science (4031) on Friday February 22 2019, @06:45PM (#805227)

          I was reading the testimonials from triathletes (I have been one) and the tightening after lacing. After about 10k shoes sort of shake loose, and this may help keep them in place.

          I think I *may* have encountered them at a race, but it had slipped my mind until now!!

          I almost lost my coffee reading the headline because I *knew* this was it!!

          • (Score: 2) by HiThere on Saturday February 23 2019, @05:13PM

            by HiThere (866) Subscriber Badge on Saturday February 23 2019, @05:13PM (#805643) Journal

            Ok. For something to wear in races, and replace often, I can see them. Or perhaps they use a good grade of elastic. (I know that such used to exist, because a decade or so ago that was the only kind I encountered.)

            --
            Javascript is what you use to allow unknown third parties to run software you have no idea about on your computer.
        • (Score: 4, Informative) by edIII on Friday February 22 2019, @08:38PM (2 children)

          by edIII (791) on Friday February 22 2019, @08:38PM (#805315)

          I use them. They're awesome. Been using them for well over a year now too. Elastic has held up just fine. However, the springs on the locks can grow a little weaker over time. For heavy hiking boots and active outdoor activities it will eventually loosen. I solved that by using two locks and have had no problems since. For regular shoes, the locks seem to be just fine.

          The only truly annoying thing are the caps you put on the end. They're not factory, but done by the customer after cutting them to the length you want. Similar to a crimp connection, but they are easily the weakest link of the whole thing. If you get them you may want to consider a different kind of tip, or putting some epoxy in them.

          --
          Technically, lunchtime is at any moment. It's just a wave function.
          • (Score: 3, Touché) by darkfeline on Saturday February 23 2019, @05:29AM (1 child)

            by darkfeline (1030) on Saturday February 23 2019, @05:29AM (#805471) Homepage

            Does not tying shoelaces really qualify for the use of the word "awesome"? Maybe you should learn to tie shoelaces properly, and I'm not being sardonic.

            First, you should make sure you're tying a square knot and not a granny knot. They look similar, but the latter will come loose and the former will not.

            Second, you should learn the fast method (sometimes called Ian knot). All it takes is a single pull to tie the knot.

            It would take maybe half a second longer at most than said elastic lock laces, but works with good old shoelaces and is always dependable.

            --
            Join the SDF Public Access UNIX System today!
            • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday February 23 2019, @05:00PM

              by Anonymous Coward on Saturday February 23 2019, @05:00PM (#805629)

              Most of these guys barely made it out of the basement, and now you expect them to tie their own shoes?

      • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @06:27PM

        by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @06:27PM (#805205)

        Who needs lock laces? For normal walking around (not running), I just thread the long ends of the shoelaces under all the criss-cross lacing, so the tips (aiglets) stick out over my toes. There is enough friction that the shoes stay tight with a very occasional tug on the loose ends sticking forward.

    • (Score: 3, Informative) by RS3 on Friday February 22 2019, @03:18PM (2 children)

      by RS3 (6367) on Friday February 22 2019, @03:18PM (#805064)

      It's all about tracking software.

      • (Score: 5, Funny) by BsAtHome on Friday February 22 2019, @04:50PM (1 child)

        by BsAtHome (889) on Friday February 22 2019, @04:50PM (#805133)

        The DRM in the shoes will prevent you from walking unauthorized walks. Please deposit the proper amount of monetary tokens. Your shoes will be ready for take-off in due time. Please be patient while we verify your walk request.

         

         

        *** Your walk request was denied ***

        Error: the walk process detected planning of ambiguous moves. Your request was forwarded to the proper authorities(*).

         

         

         

        (*) Ministry of silly walks.

        • (Score: 2) by iWantToKeepAnon on Friday February 22 2019, @05:12PM

          by iWantToKeepAnon (686) on Friday February 22 2019, @05:12PM (#805153) Homepage Journal
          (*) - Google, FB, Amazon, and Apple (these are your authorities now, ps. thanks for the MP reference!)
          --
          "Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." -- Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
    • (Score: 1, Informative) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @03:24PM

      by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @03:24PM (#805066)
    • (Score: -1, Flamebait) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @03:34PM (3 children)

      by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @03:34PM (#805073)

      The Kaepernick malware has spread to the entire Nike left shoe supply.

      • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @05:25PM (2 children)

        by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @05:25PM (#805166)

        Pathetic. You not Kaepernick.

        • (Score: -1, Troll) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @06:04PM (1 child)

          by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @06:04PM (#805192)

          And I won't buy anything from sponsors that traitor.

          • (Score: 3, Informative) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @06:41PM

            by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @06:41PM (#805224)

            And I won't buy anything from sponsors that traitor.

            Traitor? Since when is exercising one's right to free expression "traitorous?"

            I do not think that word means what you think it means.

    • (Score: 2, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @04:42PM (1 child)

      by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @04:42PM (#805124)

      I think I might be a minor character in a comedy movie. There is no way "My left shoe won't even reboot" is something anyone would ever need to say, ever.

      P.S. I know I'm not the lead because the rest of my life just isn't that funny.

      • (Score: 2) by DeathMonkey on Friday February 22 2019, @07:27PM

        by DeathMonkey (1380) on Friday February 22 2019, @07:27PM (#805260) Journal

        There is no way "My left shoe won't even reboot" is something anyone would ever need to say, ever.

        It could be downright deadly for this guy! [imdb.com]

    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @05:38PM

      by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @05:38PM (#805176)

      The Onion, or my first thought was April Fools day.

  • (Score: 4, Funny) by DannyB on Friday February 22 2019, @03:30PM (2 children)

    by DannyB (5839) Subscriber Badge on Friday February 22 2019, @03:30PM (#805067) Journal

    In order to ensure maximum customer satisfaction, Nike recommends to purchase an additional pair of shoes. The left shoe in the new pair will also brick. But you can then take the new right shoe and wear it on your left foot so that you have two shoes which can boot successfully. Auto lacing should still work.

    Nike does not warrant that power auto-lacing will continue to work or work at all if it ever did work. Nike disclaims all liability for discomfort experienced due to the user's stupid left foot being incompatible with a Nike right foot shoe. Any such complaints constitute proof that the end user is not following the directions and then being completely satisfied with the result. In this case it is the user's responsibility to purchase yet another pair of shoes in a larger size so that the right shoe is more compatible with the user's left foot. It is the user's responsibility to be happy with the solution given, or to purchase additional pairs of shoes. Nike is working diligently to resolve the problem and ensure that right shoes also do not become bricked, which would be the user's responsibility to fix and be happy with the result.

    --
    People today are educated enough to repeat what they are taught but not to question what they are taught.
    • (Score: 2) by BsAtHome on Friday February 22 2019, @03:39PM

      by BsAtHome (889) on Friday February 22 2019, @03:39PM (#805078)

      But I have two left feet! My other right foot is already a brick. My body's dead weight is hampering my ability to find my laces (ehm, phone) anyway and drains my batteries continuously.

    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @04:57PM

      by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @04:57PM (#805138)

      In order to ensure maximum customer satisfaction, Nike recommends to purchase an additional pair of shoes.

      Don't worry! I hear that Kaspersky AV is coming up with software to guard against malware for these shoes!

  • (Score: 2) by looorg on Friday February 22 2019, @03:40PM (10 children)

    by looorg (578) on Friday February 22 2019, @03:40PM (#805080)

    $350 for pair of sneakers? Some people clearly have to much money. Self-lacing shoes, how lazy do you have to be to not be able to tie and lace your own shoes? If you can't do it do you even have enough dexterity to stand up right and walk? But then it apparently doesn't even work properly all the time so that might not even be an issue. Are these sneakers even made for walking or are they something you keep in your trophy closet / sneaker collection / of bling-bling?

    Could the issue be that you are constantly putting pressure and weight on the "computer", and also that the shoe probably bends and flexes a fair bit as you walk. It's not exactly boots that are made for walking.

    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @03:49PM

      by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @03:49PM (#805087)
    • (Score: 1, Disagree) by TechieRefugee on Friday February 22 2019, @04:24PM

      by TechieRefugee (5665) on Friday February 22 2019, @04:24PM (#805113)

      I mean, let's be honest, velcro is the superior strapping technology for shoes anyways.

    • (Score: 4, Insightful) by Freeman on Friday February 22 2019, @04:30PM (3 children)

      by Freeman (732) on Friday February 22 2019, @04:30PM (#805115) Journal

      I could see them being useful to handicapped people as well as people with more money than sense.

      --
      Joshua 1:9 "Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee"
      • (Score: 3, Insightful) by Thexalon on Friday February 22 2019, @05:53PM (2 children)

        by Thexalon (636) on Friday February 22 2019, @05:53PM (#805186)

        people with more money than sense

        That right there is every marketer's ideal audience, whether you're talking about herbal supplements that don't even contain the active ingredient, kitchen gadgets that take longer to find and set up than it would take for you to just use a knife or other simple tool, phone apps that do nothing useful, security devices that protect you against non-threats like wild American tigers, or Internet-connected crock-pots.

        --
        The only thing that stops a bad guy with a compiler is a good guy with a compiler.
        • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday February 23 2019, @04:04PM

          by Anonymous Coward on Saturday February 23 2019, @04:04PM (#805603)

          Hey now -- placebo is a powerful thing. You can't bottle up pills of placebo--unless the consumer is ignorant of how the product works, like the entire homoepathy market. Those people right there are why gwenneth paltrow is a genius--she's rich due to being able to exploit the gullibility of young women that haven't the time or inclination to read up on anything other than anti-vaccination fears.

        • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday February 23 2019, @06:48PM

          by Anonymous Coward on Saturday February 23 2019, @06:48PM (#805695)

          That right there is every marketer's ideal audience

          I just wish those fucking retards got the hint that while my household has a lot of money, out sense is much much more pletiful and they quit wasting everyone's time.

    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @05:37PM

      by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @05:37PM (#805174)

      Actually these are "Built for Basketball" (Nike link in TFS). Wonder if it was Nike or Google script kiddies that went to update the app and bricked the left shoe. Nike is "...aware of the issue and are actively working on a solution." Any one want a job cleaning up apps for Nike?
      Another big hit for Nike was the injury to Duke basketball star Zion Williamson when his ,,,Wait for it...Left shoe blew up early in a big game. Doesn't look like it was one of the IoT connected "Nike Adapt" shoes. Haven't looked to see if Nike's stock price has fallen yet today, but I'll bet there was much concern in the legal and marketing departments at Nike.
      Of course it could have been an "alt wrong" app developer just trying to get rid of the " lefties". /s

    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @06:30PM

      by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @06:30PM (#805208)

      > Some people clearly have to much money.

      While you, sir, appear to be so poor as to not afford the extra "o" to spell "too"...

    • (Score: 2) by wisnoskij on Friday February 22 2019, @06:55PM (1 child)

      by wisnoskij (5149) <reversethis-{moc ... ksonsiwnohtanoj}> on Friday February 22 2019, @06:55PM (#805237)

      That is about what new nikes sell for anyway though, and 10% the cost of resold nike. So the they are not really charging much if anything for all the tech that goes into these shoes.

      • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday February 23 2019, @03:15AM

        by Anonymous Coward on Saturday February 23 2019, @03:15AM (#805454)

        No, new Nikes start at ~$100 (unless you're getting the basic solid-color non-line-brand, those are ~$50), and the more expensive ones might cost this much. There's definitely an extra charge for the technology.

  • (Score: 2) by SomeGuy on Friday February 22 2019, @03:43PM (4 children)

    by SomeGuy (5632) on Friday February 22 2019, @03:43PM (#805082)

    (yeah, there are lights)

    Of course there are blue LEDs. Consumertards won't buy anything that does not have blue (or at least rainbow) LEDs built in.

    Odd that the link shows one of these is available in white. Consumertards hate white. They think it is ugly. At least that is what they say every time I mention white/beige/other color computer cases.

    And here I am, perfectly happy with an "old fashioned" set of Walmart velcro shoes.

    • (Score: 2) by All Your Lawn Are Belong To Us on Friday February 22 2019, @06:28PM

      by All Your Lawn Are Belong To Us (6553) on Friday February 22 2019, @06:28PM (#805206) Journal

      And here I am, perfectly happy with an "old fashioned" set of Walmart velcro shoes.

      Splitter! [youtube.com]

      --
      This sig for rent.
    • (Score: 2) by Freeman on Friday February 22 2019, @06:54PM

      by Freeman (732) on Friday February 22 2019, @06:54PM (#805235) Journal

      Well, that all depends. Are you recommending white like this? https://www.newegg.com/Product/Product.aspx?Item=N82E16811133282 [newegg.com]

      Or abominable "white" like this? https://www.newegg.com/Product/Product.aspx?Item=9SIA8EF5MR1380 [newegg.com] Admittedly, that may just be a bad picture.

      --
      Joshua 1:9 "Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee"
    • (Score: 2) by Freeman on Friday February 22 2019, @06:59PM (1 child)

      by Freeman (732) on Friday February 22 2019, @06:59PM (#805240) Journal

      Truly though, white is a nice color to use, if you want to see how dirty you computer case can get. A minor scratch of a different color or slight scratch on the white case is going to be highly visible and as such a less attractive case in the future. Whereas a black case with a scratch or different colored mark won't look as bad. I.E. for all the same reasons you don't get white carpet. Too high maintenance.

      --
      Joshua 1:9 "Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee"
      • (Score: 2) by SomeGuy on Saturday February 23 2019, @01:09AM

        by SomeGuy (5632) on Saturday February 23 2019, @01:09AM (#805416)

        Dare I ask why your computers are so dirty? :P And if they are so dirty, why don't you CLEAN them? Ew. Don't you WANT to see when something needs cleaning? It's odd that so many people own white cars and don't seem to have a problem with those even when leaving them sitting outside.

        Bright shiny metal scratches showing through black paint is just as bad as with white paint. Same color scratches in plastic not really a problem either way.

  • (Score: 5, Insightful) by leftover on Friday February 22 2019, @04:43PM

    by leftover (2448) on Friday February 22 2019, @04:43PM (#805125)

    Not all that long ago, this story would only have been a dystopian fantasy joke. Now it is real and we all are the joke.

    --
    Bent, folded, spindled, and mutilated.
  • (Score: 2, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @04:47PM

    by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @04:47PM (#805130)

    Does setting the shoes to factory default repair the soles too?

  • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @04:56PM (3 children)

    by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @04:56PM (#805137)

    The same old troubleshooting scripts now apply to shoes:

    Did you try turning it off and then on again?

    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @05:02PM (1 child)

      by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @05:02PM (#805145)

      The same old troubleshooting scripts now apply to shoes:

      Did you try turning it off and then on again?

      All I got was an error message saying "Abort, Retry, Fail?"

      • (Score: 1, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @06:34PM

        by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @06:34PM (#805213)

        Are you sure it didn't say "Abort, Retie, Fail"?

    • (Score: 2) by BsAtHome on Friday February 22 2019, @05:15PM

      by BsAtHome (889) on Friday February 22 2019, @05:15PM (#805158)
      Did you try turning taking it off and then on again?

      FTFY
  • (Score: 2) by Gaaark on Friday February 22 2019, @04:57PM (1 child)

    by Gaaark (41) on Friday February 22 2019, @04:57PM (#805139) Journal

    What operating system is it running?

    It's, uhhh...VISTA!

    We're going to die!

    --
    --- Please remind me if I haven't been civil to you: I'm channeling MDC. ---Gaaark 2.0 ---
    • (Score: 2) by jb on Saturday February 23 2019, @04:58AM

      by jb (338) on Saturday February 23 2019, @04:58AM (#805467)

      What operating system is it running?

      Definitely something from the '60s or early '70s..

      ...probably ITS: the Inoperable Tying System...

      ...or perhaps RSTS: the Ridiculous Shoe Tying System...

      ...or maybe even CTSS: Can't Tie Some Shoelaces.

  • (Score: 5, Funny) by acid andy on Friday February 22 2019, @04:59PM (6 children)

    by acid andy (1683) on Friday February 22 2019, @04:59PM (#805141) Homepage Journal

    Bricking smart sneakers? Why are so many of these things called "smart" when they're so fucking stupid? If you build your house out of smart bricks [phys.org], does that mean one day faulty apps will brick bricks? How do you unbrick a brick? If you unbrick a brick, what is left? Is an unbricked brick a brick? What about a bricked brick?

    --
    If a cat has kittens, does a rat have rittens, a bat bittens and a mat mittens?
    • (Score: 5, Funny) by MichaelDavidCrawford on Friday February 22 2019, @05:04PM (4 children)

      by MichaelDavidCrawford (2339) Subscriber Badge <mdcrawford@gmail.com> on Friday February 22 2019, @05:04PM (#805146) Homepage Journal

      How many bricks would a brick unbrick if a brick could unbrick bricks?

      --
      Yes I Have No Bananas. [gofundme.com]
      • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @06:14PM

        by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @06:14PM (#805198)

        42

      • (Score: 2) by bzipitidoo on Friday February 22 2019, @07:37PM

        by bzipitidoo (4388) on Friday February 22 2019, @07:37PM (#805266) Journal

        Smart pants will be ugly. Go from smartypants to social outcast when you brick your pants.

      • (Score: 2) by captain normal on Friday February 22 2019, @08:23PM (1 child)

        by captain normal (2205) on Friday February 22 2019, @08:23PM (#805307)

        Nike seeking app developer to clean up soggy shoe mess.

        --
        When life isn't going right, go left.
    • (Score: 2) by AndyTheAbsurd on Friday February 22 2019, @05:36PM

      by AndyTheAbsurd (3958) on Friday February 22 2019, @05:36PM (#805173) Journal

      We're just going to have to refer to entirely unresponsive smart bricks are "paperweighted". Problem solved!

      But I agree; many of the so-called "smart" device turn out to be quite stupid when examined closely - or simply disconnected from the internet.

      --
      Please note my username before responding. You may have been trolled.
  • (Score: 2, Interesting) by el-ingenioso-hidalgo-don-miguel-de- on Friday February 22 2019, @05:01PM

    by el-ingenioso-hidalgo-don-miguel-de- (7351) on Friday February 22 2019, @05:01PM (#805144)

    Some Desktop too.

    I interviewed for a Cocoa - Desktop Mac - contract a while back. I could hardly contain my enthusiasm:

    My interviewer wanted an app to that would do the data "analysis" for line of shoes whose accelerometers would determine how much exercise the user had gotten.

    While I could see the application of the to pro and to Olympic sports, my interview led me to conclude this would be in really a case of "_My_ Nikes go up to 11!"

  • (Score: 2) by canopic jug on Friday February 22 2019, @05:07PM (1 child)

    by canopic jug (3949) Subscriber Badge on Friday February 22 2019, @05:07PM (#805150) Journal

    It used to be the worst that could happen was when someone would step on your heel as you stepped and your foot would partially or completely leave the shoe.

    Now your your shoe can blow out [businessinsider.com] quite literally, and take your knee with it.

    Williamson tried to cut with the basketball and when he planted his left foot, the shoe exploded:

    --
    Money is not free speech. Elections should not be auctions.
    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @08:46PM

      by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @08:46PM (#805320)

      SCNR but that is the sad joke world we are living now.

  • (Score: 1) by oldeschool on Friday February 22 2019, @05:16PM (5 children)

    by oldeschool (4414) on Friday February 22 2019, @05:16PM (#805159)

    These shoes are not bricked, they still function as shoes

    • (Score: 2) by captain normal on Friday February 22 2019, @05:44PM

      by captain normal (2205) on Friday February 22 2019, @05:44PM (#805181)

      Not very well if the shoe won't lace up. Maybe one could root the firmware on the shoe, is it the android OS that broke?

      --
      When life isn't going right, go left.
    • (Score: 2) by sjames on Friday February 22 2019, @05:59PM (3 children)

      by sjames (2882) on Friday February 22 2019, @05:59PM (#805188) Journal

      Actually, they don't. There is no manual way to tie them.

      • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @06:37PM (2 children)

        by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @06:37PM (#805217)

        So now we have an analogy to the self-driving car with no steering wheel for manual backup, when the lidar (etc) is bricked.

        • (Score: 2) by Freeman on Friday February 22 2019, @07:04PM

          by Freeman (732) on Friday February 22 2019, @07:04PM (#805246) Journal

          Let's just hope the Lidar doesn't brick mid drive.

          --
          Joshua 1:9 "Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee"
        • (Score: 2) by sjames on Sunday February 24 2019, @08:12AM

          by sjames (2882) on Sunday February 24 2019, @08:12AM (#805869) Journal

          Exactly. Because, of course, technology never fails.

          To top it off, I don't see a non-destructive way to access the technology in the shoe.

  • (Score: 2) by sjames on Friday February 22 2019, @07:17PM

    by sjames (2882) on Friday February 22 2019, @07:17PM (#805251) Journal

    I like tech gadgets as much as the next person, but shoes I have to recharge every night and use bluetooth and an app on my phone just to tie them is beyond stupid. Add in that they couldn't even manage to get the firmware right before they ship ( It tightens the laces, how hard can that be?) and didn't think to have any sort of manual control and you have a perfect storm of stupid.

    This "problem" was solved in the '70s with velcro.

    Gee, I just can't wait until some nimnul decides this is perfect technology for belts too. Then a prankster can pants an entire city block at the press of a button.

  • (Score: 3, Informative) by nobu_the_bard on Friday February 22 2019, @07:21PM

    by nobu_the_bard (6373) on Friday February 22 2019, @07:21PM (#805257)

    I knew a guy who used to do security for shoe openings. The store would call in the entire mall security staff for overtime for them; it was planned a week or so in advance. A crowd of dozens would show up to buy like 5 pairs of shoes. They'd take pictures posted all over Facebook, Twitter, or whatever. He'd have to break up fights - there were always fights, but they were more about being seen fighting than actually hurting anyone, so they were easy to break up. It was a big deal when someone would buy their first multi-hundred dollar pair of shoes, a signal to everyone there he was successful.

  • (Score: 5, Funny) by urza9814 on Friday February 22 2019, @07:25PM (2 children)

    by urza9814 (3954) on Friday February 22 2019, @07:25PM (#805259) Journal

    If you want to reboot them, you clearly need to buy the smart boots, not the smart sneakers. How can you expect to REboot them when they were never boots to begin with??

    • (Score: 2) by acid andy on Friday February 22 2019, @09:02PM

      by acid andy (1683) on Friday February 22 2019, @09:02PM (#805326) Homepage Journal

      No, silly, you just have to boot them first. Once you've booted the sneakers, wait for them to become un-booted (maybe this "bricking" they keep going on about will achieve that). At that point, re-booting should be trivial, in comparison, err, theoretically. ; )

      --
      If a cat has kittens, does a rat have rittens, a bat bittens and a mat mittens?
    • (Score: 2) by acid andy on Friday February 22 2019, @09:27PM

      by acid andy (1683) on Friday February 22 2019, @09:27PM (#805334) Homepage Journal

      So, just to recap, re-booting sneakers is easy provided you have first booted and then un-booted them. Re-booting boots is not easy because it also requires un-booting them and when you un-boot a boot, there is no boot to re-boot.

      --
      If a cat has kittens, does a rat have rittens, a bat bittens and a mat mittens?
  • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @09:14PM

    by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 22 2019, @09:14PM (#805329)

    They're basically door-stops that fit on my feet.

    I clearly have twice the problem that this guy has.

    >"My left shoe won't even reboot." writes another.

  • (Score: 1, Flamebait) by Entropy on Saturday February 23 2019, @12:57AM

    by Entropy (4228) on Saturday February 23 2019, @12:57AM (#805410)

    Only for those that hate america.

  • (Score: 2) by VanessaE on Saturday February 23 2019, @05:03AM

    by VanessaE (3396) <vanessa.e.dannenberg@gmail.com> on Saturday February 23 2019, @05:03AM (#805468) Journal

    Come on, guys.. 70-ish comments on a post about mass-produced, "smart" Nikes with power "laces", and not one person referenced BttF (aside from them not looking like the movie version)?

  • (Score: 2) by Phoenix666 on Saturday February 23 2019, @02:29PM

    by Phoenix666 (552) on Saturday February 23 2019, @02:29PM (#805575) Journal

    "My left shoe won't even reboot." writes another.

    Does this mean he's no longer an ambiturner [youtube.com]?

    --
    Washington DC delenda est.
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