I discovered today that there is a CDC website on Zombie Preparedness.
The government helping with all your Zombie Apocalypse Preparation needs.
Who knew? I checked, and it's not April 1 yet.
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PSA: the CDC Website on Zombie Preparedness
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(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday March 26 2019, @04:06PM (6 children)
I printed a page for my coworkers some year back. I think it was still during Obama's time.
(Score: 4, Insightful) by bob_super on Tuesday March 26 2019, @04:15PM (2 children)
Yup. Heard about it years ago.
It turns out that being ready for the Zombie apocalypse is similar to being ready for most major natural disasters, except for the number of weapons likely to be used.
(Score: 2) by RamiK on Tuesday March 26 2019, @04:35PM
me2. Possibly from around here actually: https://soylentnews.org/comments.pl?noupdate=1&sid=15458&cid=400290#commentwrap [soylentnews.org]
compiling...
(Score: 2) by sjames on Tuesday March 26 2019, @07:15PM
Exactly. They picked zombies in the (probably overly optimistic) hope that if people see or hear anything about the simulated preparedness exercises they won't think it's real and start a panic.
(Score: 3, Insightful) by ikanreed on Tuesday March 26 2019, @05:26PM (2 children)
Yes, and they've found that the popularity of it made it a good choice for doing some public health education.
They have lesson plans about emergency preparedness for teachers they disguise as "zombie apocalypse" material. If you call your emergency supplies a "bug out bag" and omit the guns, suddenly you have a great set of things to keep in your home for a flood or hurricane.
(Score: 1, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday March 26 2019, @06:04PM (1 child)
So you leave your guns to be flooded in your home?
(Score: 3, Interesting) by ikanreed on Tuesday March 26 2019, @06:53PM
The 2nd amendment types call that "lost in a boating accident".
(Score: 2) by Freeman on Tuesday March 26 2019, @04:30PM (2 children)
Even the likes of the CDC has a sense of humor.
Joshua 1:9 "Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee"
(Score: 4, Funny) by Dr Spin on Tuesday March 26 2019, @05:55PM
You would not say that if you ever had to debug CDC7600 assembler!
Warning: Opening your mouth may invalidate your brain!
(Score: 4, Funny) by PartTimeZombie on Tuesday March 26 2019, @08:47PM
Sense of humour?
How dare you sir!? I find that highly offensive.
There is no "Zombie Apocalypse" at all. When those of us who live an undead lifestyle visit, you should do the sensible thing and sit quietly outside with your head exposed.
These CDC people are just making things so difficult with their misinformation.
(Score: 3, Funny) by takyon on Tuesday March 26 2019, @04:35PM (6 children)
Telling you where you can loot firearms and explosives during the Zombie Apocalypse. :-)
[SIG] 10/28/2017: Soylent Upgrade v14 [soylentnews.org]
(Score: 2) by DannyB on Tuesday March 26 2019, @05:13PM
And drugs -- oh, wrong department.
To transfer files: right-click on file, pick Copy. Unplug mouse, plug mouse into other computer. Right-click, paste.
(Score: 2) by Runaway1956 on Tuesday March 26 2019, @05:23PM (4 children)
What about flamethrowers? Those would be good for an ebola outbreak as well.
(Score: 2) by FatPhil on Tuesday March 26 2019, @05:34PM
Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people; the smallest discuss themselves
(Score: 2) by DannyB on Tuesday March 26 2019, @07:13PM (1 child)
A newer SN article leads me to believe China is in need of flame throwers right now.
To transfer files: right-click on file, pick Copy. Unplug mouse, plug mouse into other computer. Right-click, paste.
(Score: 2) by insanumingenium on Tuesday March 26 2019, @08:21PM
“It was a pleasure to burn.”
(Score: -1, Flamebait) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday March 26 2019, @10:06PM
Are you calling Obama "ebola" ?
(Score: 4, Informative) by NewNic on Tuesday March 26 2019, @06:21PM (2 children)
Everyone except the submitter (DannyB) and martyb, apparently.
lib·er·tar·i·an·ism ˌlibərˈterēənizəm/ noun: Magical thinking that useful idiots mistake for serious political theory
(Score: 2) by DannyB on Tuesday March 26 2019, @07:13PM (1 child)
Yep. That may be the case.
To transfer files: right-click on file, pick Copy. Unplug mouse, plug mouse into other computer. Right-click, paste.
(Score: 2) by Reziac on Wednesday March 27 2019, @02:28AM
Inspired by almost-actual events:
https://archive.archaeology.org/online/features/hierakonpolis/zombies.html [archaeology.org]
And there is no Alkibiades to come back and save us from ourselves.
(Score: 2) by linkdude64 on Tuesday March 26 2019, @08:02PM (2 children)
i want to delicately clean the blood from under her nails while she chews on my brain
(Score: 2) by PartTimeZombie on Tuesday March 26 2019, @08:48PM (1 child)
Thank you. The only +1 Insightful comment in the whole thread.
Your dead will be swift and painless.
(Score: 1, Touché) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday March 26 2019, @09:30PM
And here I thought zombies were slow and painful...
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday March 27 2019, @05:39PM
vaccines are the zombie infection vector so it's only natural that the cdc would have a page for the eventuality that a future vaccine causes full on zombieism.