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posted by janrinok on Friday November 29 2019, @04:08PM   Printer-friendly
from the wait-until-they-start-using-social-media dept.

Submitted via IRC for SoyGuest61688

The herd donned VR systems adapted for the "structural features of cow heads" and were shown a "unique summer field simulation program".

Moscow's Ministry of Agriculture and Food cited research which they say has shown a link between a cow's emotional experience and its milk yield.

Initial tests reportedly boosted "the overall emotional mood of the herd".

Source: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-50571010


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  • (Score: 4, Funny) by Gaaark on Friday November 29 2019, @04:14PM (3 children)

    by Gaaark (41) on Friday November 29 2019, @04:14PM (#926029) Journal

    My guess: the cows were NOT wandering around in a field where they could step into a gopher hole and break a leg.

    Hmmmm....were they standing in a pen for unbelievable hours with no exercise and getting milked like a teenage boy alone in his room with pornhub?

    --
    --- Please remind me if I haven't been civil to you: I'm channeling MDC. ---Gaaark 2.0 ---
    • (Score: 2) by ikanreed on Friday November 29 2019, @04:21PM

      by ikanreed (3164) Subscriber Badge on Friday November 29 2019, @04:21PM (#926031) Journal

      Yes, that's the vast majority of animal husbandry in the 21st century.

    • (Score: 2) by takyon on Friday November 29 2019, @04:54PM (1 child)

      by takyon (881) <takyonNO@SPAMsoylentnews.org> on Friday November 29 2019, @04:54PM (#926046) Journal

      Throw in a cow-sized Omni Treadmill with the VR headsets, and these cows might have a slightly better life.

      --
      [SIG] 10/28/2017: Soylent Upgrade v14 [soylentnews.org]
      • (Score: 2, Funny) by fustakrakich on Friday November 29 2019, @06:34PM

        by fustakrakich (6150) on Friday November 29 2019, @06:34PM (#926087) Journal

        Or we could just cut 'em loose

        Let's give them Twitter accounts. Fending off lawsuits will keep them occupied.

        --
        La politica e i criminali sono la stessa cosa..
  • (Score: 4, Funny) by looorg on Friday November 29 2019, @04:17PM (2 children)

    by looorg (578) on Friday November 29 2019, @04:17PM (#926030)

    So with the VR-market not really materializing for the PC and consoles is this the new VR-market? Cows and farm animals. You never have to let them out again, they can be trapped forever in their pens and milked for days.

    ... the experiments took place at the RusMoloko farm in Moscow's Ramensky district.

    Moloko ... Moloko Plus ... Clockwork Orange flashbacks ...

    • (Score: 3, Funny) by bzipitidoo on Friday November 29 2019, @06:34PM (1 child)

      by bzipitidoo (4388) on Friday November 29 2019, @06:34PM (#926088) Journal

      Sounds like The Matrix for cows. Until one day, one of them takes the red pill... Far Side, watch out!

      "I know what you're thinking. Why didn't I take the blue pill?"

      • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday November 29 2019, @07:25PM

        by Anonymous Coward on Friday November 29 2019, @07:25PM (#926110)

        Should the cows eat the green grass or the red grass?

  • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday November 29 2019, @04:26PM

    by Anonymous Coward on Friday November 29 2019, @04:26PM (#926033)

    In Soviet Russia, VR Headsets reduce you!

  • (Score: 2) by SomeGuy on Friday November 29 2019, @04:28PM (1 child)

    by SomeGuy (5632) on Friday November 29 2019, @04:28PM (#926034)

    Matrix cows are yummy.

    • (Score: 5, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Friday November 29 2019, @06:08PM

      by Anonymous Coward on Friday November 29 2019, @06:08PM (#926076)

      Mootrix

  • (Score: 2) by Gaaark on Friday November 29 2019, @04:43PM (1 child)

    by Gaaark (41) on Friday November 29 2019, @04:43PM (#926040) Journal

    or they start viewing cow porn.

    --
    --- Please remind me if I haven't been civil to you: I'm channeling MDC. ---Gaaark 2.0 ---
    • (Score: 2) by looorg on Friday November 29 2019, @04:51PM

      by looorg (578) on Friday November 29 2019, @04:51PM (#926044)

      Considering how lazy and hapless most bulls are and they they tend to need a bit of a helping hand from time to time I feel sad for the cows. It's going to be some shitty amateur cow porn. They better have some real stud bulls available. So many udders tho ... cow-on-cow action?

      That said perhaps those green luscious fields, add in a sun lamp and a fan and they might believe that they are actually outside, they experience in VR constitute cow-porn?

  • (Score: 4, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Friday November 29 2019, @04:46PM

    by Anonymous Coward on Friday November 29 2019, @04:46PM (#926042)

    Other reports are saying the cows have a steak in this VR company.

  • (Score: 1) by RandomFactor on Friday November 29 2019, @05:24PM (3 children)

    by RandomFactor (3682) Subscriber Badge on Friday November 29 2019, @05:24PM (#926053) Journal

    We need a control group with VR headsets that are basically just glass lenses. And scientists walking around paying attention to the control cows same as the others.

    --
    В «Правде» нет известий, в «Известиях» нет правды
    • (Score: 2) by takyon on Friday November 29 2019, @06:25PM (2 children)

      by takyon (881) <takyonNO@SPAMsoylentnews.org> on Friday November 29 2019, @06:25PM (#926082) Journal

      This is an industry we're talking about. If it works, and "reducing anxiety" is found to reduce costs, then every cow is going to end up with a crummy VR headset strapped on. #Mootrix

      --
      [SIG] 10/28/2017: Soylent Upgrade v14 [soylentnews.org]
  • (Score: 1) by fustakrakich on Friday November 29 2019, @05:49PM

    by fustakrakich (6150) on Friday November 29 2019, @05:49PM (#926066) Journal

    Are they in congress questioning witnesses and suing twitter users? Sounds very relaxing. /s

    --
    La politica e i criminali sono la stessa cosa..
  • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday November 30 2019, @03:17AM

    by Anonymous Coward on Saturday November 30 2019, @03:17AM (#926256)

    I guess Devin Nunes will have to get his cow one of these, I'll bet Moscow Mitch can hook him up. ;-)

  • (Score: 2) by Pslytely Psycho on Saturday November 30 2019, @12:53PM

    by Pslytely Psycho (1218) on Saturday November 30 2019, @12:53PM (#926368)

    So I read the headline and think, I didn't believe "The Far Side" had re-launched yet...so I checked:

    https://www.thefarside.com/ [thefarside.com]

    Nope, not yet. Holy shit this isn't a parody!
    How will Gary Larson cope with a reality weirder than his cartoons?

    --
    Alex Jones lawyer inspires new TV series: CSI Moron Division.
  • (Score: 2) by jmichaelhudsondotnet on Saturday November 30 2019, @02:01PM

    by jmichaelhudsondotnet (8122) on Saturday November 30 2019, @02:01PM (#926381) Journal

    chinese Moon gel
    moon talking to coral reefs
    trees have social welfare in forest
    navy admits ufos freak them out
    cows get vr headsets before me

    But as I have said elsewhere, that it is good for cows, makes you wonder if vr will turn you into more of a cow.

    As I see it, the world is so unstable right now, to turn away for even twenty minutes is a risk.

    We have no reason to trust any of this system, that there isn't an accidental war every second is a miracle, not some sort of thing we should take for granted, not some time to ramp up our docility and weaken our already tenuous connection to the physical world.

    But who listens to me.

  • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday November 30 2019, @03:53PM

    by Anonymous Coward on Saturday November 30 2019, @03:53PM (#926416)

    Moovies

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