from the you-got-to-try-a-little-kindness dept.
People are touched by small kindnesses and led to greater generosity, new research shows:
Anyone who has given a friend a ride, baked cookies for a sick family member, or even bought a stranger a cup of coffee knows acts of kindness can enhance happiness.
But such random acts of kindness are still somewhat rare. Texas McCombs Assistant Professor of Marketing Amit Kumar set out to discover why people don't engage in prosocial acts — such as helping, sharing, or donating — more often.
In a new study, Kumar, along with Nicholas Epley of the University of Chicago, found that people often underestimate how good these actions make recipients feel. Givers tend to focus on the object they're providing or action they're performing, while receivers instead concentrate on the feelings of warmth the act of kindness has conjured up. Givers' "miscalibrated expectations" — that receivers are solely concerned with the gift itself — can function as a barrier to performing more prosocial behaviors.
[...] The researchers' findings offer practical implications and advice for people going about their everyday lives. When people realize their small actions have a large impact, they can choose to be nicer and carry out more acts of random kindness, enhancing both their well-being and that of others.
"Positive interpersonal contact is a powerful source of happiness," Kumar says. "It will make you feel better and someone else feel better, even better than you think they'll feel. A little good doesn't just go a long way — it goes an unexpectedly long way."
See also: Friends Enjoy Being Reached Out to More Than We Think
Journal Reference:
Kumar, A., & Epley, N. (2022). A little good goes an unexpectedly long way: Underestimating the positive impact of kindness on recipients. Journal of Experimental Psychology: General. 10.1037/xge0001271
Related Stories
The greater the surprise, the greater the appreciation, study says:
People consistently underestimate how much others in their social circle might appreciate an unexpected phone call, text or email just to say hello, and the more surprising the connection, the greater the appreciation, according to research published by the American Psychological Association.
"People are fundamentally social beings and enjoy connecting with others," said lead author Peggy Liu, PhD, of the University of Pittsburgh. "There is much research showing that maintaining social connections is good for our mental and physical health. However, despite the importance and enjoyment of social connection, our research suggests that people significantly underestimate how much others will appreciate being reached out to."
Across all experiments, those who initiated the communication significantly underestimated the extent to which recipients would appreciate the act of reaching out. [...] "We found that people receiving the communication placed greater focus than those initiating the communication on the surprise element, and this heightened focus on surprise was associated with higher appreciation," said Liu. [...]
Many people have lost touch with others in their lives, whether they're friends from high school or college or co-workers they used to see at the water cooler before work went remote, according to Liu. Initiating social contact after a prolonged period of disconnect can feel daunting because people worry about how such a gesture might be received. These findings suggest that their hesitations may be unnecessary, as others are likely to appreciate being reached out to more than people think.
"I sometimes pause before reaching out to people from my pre-pandemic social circle for a variety of reasons. When that happens, I think about these research findings and remind myself that other people may also want to reach out to me and hesitate for the same reasons," Liu said. "I then tell myself that I would appreciate it so much if they reached out to me and that there is no reason to think they would not similarly appreciate my reaching out to them."
Journal Reference:
Peggy Liu, SoYon Rim, Lauren Min, and Kate Min, The Surprise of Reaching Out: Appreciated More than We Think [pdf], J Pers Soc Psychol, 2022. DOI: 10.1037/pspi0000402
(Score: -1, Spam) by Dunning-aristarchus-Kroeger on Monday August 22 2022, @09:38AM (4 children)
I appreciate all you do in the hunt for aristarchus! Keep SoylentNews safe from philosophy!
(Score: 0, Offtopic) by inertnet on Monday August 22 2022, @10:00AM
Aren't you the definition of the absolute opposite.
(Score: -1, Offtopic) by Krueger-aristarchus-Dunning on Monday August 22 2022, @10:02AM
I share the same sentiment! Give that man a cookie!
(Score: -1, Offtopic) by LittleRiverWing on Monday August 22 2022, @06:05PM (1 child)
Spam modding someone for a kindness will not lead to further goodness. Just saying.
(Score: 2, Touché) by janrinok on Monday August 22 2022, @08:00PM
The brass band was busy. The Queen declined to Knight you in recognition of your services. And you are still a prat.
(Score: 5, Insightful) by pTamok on Monday August 22 2022, @12:43PM (12 children)
1) Letting someone go in front of you to join a queue to pay at a shop if they have a few items and you have a pantechnicon containing the weekly shop.
2) Holding a door open for someone
3) Letting people overtake you on country roads, and generally giving people space in traffic
4) Giving up a seat on public transport to someone who needs it more than you
5) Stepping to the side in walkways to make phone calls/read or send text messages so that other people don't have to change direction or stop walking.
6) When walking in groups, not taking up the whole walkway so that people can easily get past the group in either direction.
Good manners are often micro 'acts-of-kindness' and act as social lubrication, making the giver and the receiver feel better than they would have, so long as the act is acknowledged. Some people are regarded as crass because they do not acknowledge other people making their lives easier for them, even if only in small ways - sometimes this is caused by a sense of entitlement.
(Score: 4, Insightful) by aafcac on Monday August 22 2022, @03:48PM
I do think that it's easy to forget the asymmetry of such things. It may not take much effort on your part to do one of those things, but it may mean the world to somebody that's having a cruddy day. Unlike so many other things, this isn't a zero sum game, you can generate a tremendous amount of positivity by just doing such things occasionally. And I do think that when people encounter it, that it does somewhat increase their willingness to do so. In some cases, it may not have even occurred to them that it's even a possiblity to do some of these things.
(Score: 4, Insightful) by bart9h on Monday August 22 2022, @04:11PM (1 child)
I don't even consider some items in your list to be kindness. It's acting like a functional member of a society.
For instance, I don't even have to think to do 3, 5 and 6. It's completely automatic.
And if I don't do 1, 2 and 4 I'll just feel bad about myself.
(Score: 3, Interesting) by aafcac on Monday August 22 2022, @07:06PM
It really isn't though. For example, the attitude towards lines varies a lot globally. When I was in Italy, the locals formed a line around me at one point. In China, I'd regularly have people trying to elbow their way past me to the front of the line. Giving up your seat to those that need it more is well and good, but it's not always easy to know and can be kind of insulting to those that don't really need it.
The other things are arguably things that ought to be automatic, but really aren't and wouldn't be appreciated if you're just assuming you get to have them.
(Score: 3, Interesting) by legont on Monday August 22 2022, @07:44PM (6 children)
Many cultures teach their children to behave like this, but western ones mainly taught to follow rules. That's the result of greatly overvaluing law I believe.
"Wealth is the relentless enemy of understanding" - John Kenneth Galbraith.
(Score: 2, Informative) by Anonymous Coward on Monday August 22 2022, @08:29PM (4 children)
???
> greatly overvaluing law
Explain your position please. Would you have us undervalue law (be scofflaws?).
My grand father (b.1910) learned to drive on dirt roads, no lines on the road, very little traffic. For the rest of his life, he barely paid any attention to the lines on the roads--unnerving for passengers, at best!
Or be like much of rural China where my understanding is that the law is still primarily the local strong/rich guy who runs the show for his own benefit.
(Score: 4, Insightful) by Immerman on Tuesday August 23 2022, @01:09AM (1 child)
I believe the it point is probably the old adage that obeying the law is the MINIMUM you need to do to participate productively in society. I.e. it's just the starting point. If that's *all* you do, perhaps because you greatly overvalue it, then you're not a good person.
(Score: 4, Insightful) by legont on Tuesday August 23 2022, @01:38AM
Yes, exactly. Note that once population believes it can do anything and everything that does not violates the law, the law has to go deeper and regulate things that normally do not need regulations such as kindness to strangers. At this point bad things start to happen.
"Wealth is the relentless enemy of understanding" - John Kenneth Galbraith.
(Score: 2) by Lester on Wednesday August 24 2022, @12:14PM (1 child)
I think that the point is that we are teaching legal=moral, so as long as you don't break laws, nothing to regret of, nothing to give an explanation of, nothing to be held accountable.
Bad manners are not punished by law, so we can be as rude as we want. Being selfishness can't be punished by law, so we can be as selfish as we want. We are creating a civilization of assholes.
Things like bad manners may be punished, not by laws but by social punishment. But we make heroes of winners, no matter their moral behavior, they were smart enough to find legal loopholes and win. Hail!
(Score: 2) by acid andy on Wednesday August 24 2022, @07:34PM
Yes many laws are arguably immoral and many important morals are not enshrined in law. And yes, it's a big part of why both civilization and the rest of the planet are becoming really, really messed up!
Master of the science of the art of the science of art.
(Score: 1, Interesting) by Anonymous Coward on Monday August 22 2022, @09:45PM
The good thing about "law" is that you can trust that things get done properly (for the most part). In a corrupt system, your shit goes missing and the cops don't care and in the meantime your crappy car broke down and somebody's ripped off your work and got a promotion. And nobody cares because they've got their own problems. And so what if a few votes got missing, it doesn't make any difference anyway.
So yeah, let's not go back to that.
(Score: 4, Insightful) by ChrisMaple on Tuesday August 23 2022, @04:19AM (1 child)
Leaving space in traffic is necessary for safety and only about half of people do it, fewer every year. Most states strongly recommend a 3 second gap between cars. That should be considered normal, not a cause for gratitude. Tailgating is threatening and dangerous.
(Score: 2) by hendrikboom on Tuesday August 30 2022, @05:56PM
a few decades ago media were recommending 5 seconds between cars. Have reaction times improved since then?
(Score: 4, Funny) by JoeMerchant on Monday August 22 2022, @12:46PM (15 children)
Nurse broke down in the middle of the 5 mile Julia Tuttle Causeway - 45+ minute walk in either direction to "civilization" such as it is. 20 minutes to sunset.
I pull over to see if I can help. Right away she gives up "my cellphone battery is dead" - it's 1998, I'm not carrying a cellphone. She has a flat. I change the flat for her and get her on her way before sunset. She offers me $20, I refuse, telling her "it's my good deed for the year." She now starts acting slightly creeped out. I offer the standard driving on a space saver spare advice - keep the speeds down, etc. and we set off - her speeding down the causeway slightly faster than traffic at 70mph.
>"It will make you feel better and someone else feel better"
Or not.
Україна досі не є частиною Росії Слава Україні🌻 https://news.stanford.edu/2023/02/17/will-russia-ukraine-war-end
(Score: 4, Interesting) by Runaway1956 on Monday August 22 2022, @01:10PM (2 children)
Yeah, it can make someone else feel better. One act of kindness I'll never forget, was a nice looking San Diego lady cop, squatted down beside an elderly couple's car, changing their flat tire. It was bumper to bumper stop-and-go traffic, so I was able to see she had four lug nuts off the wheel, and struggling with the fifth, getting dirty and sweaty. Cops just don't do that anymore, that lady was a throwback to a previous generation. Her act of kindness made me feel good then, and still makes me feel good whenever I think of her. I also noted that the San Diego police car still sported that ancient motto, "To protect and to serve".
Abortion is the number one killed of children in the United States.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday August 22 2022, @09:49PM (1 child)
The nice looking San Diego cop could lug my nuts off getting dirty and sweaty. That would make me feel good.
(Score: 2) by Opportunist on Thursday August 25 2022, @08:55AM
I think I saw that movie...
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday August 22 2022, @01:54PM (11 children)
> Or not.
Our wonderful 90+ year old neighbors moved to assisted living and sold their lovely house. It's not right next door, there is a vacant lot in between which is the deep back yard of a house on the next street over.
The new couple are 30-somethings, two new high end SUVs, nice dog, no kids (assume DINKs). Hoping to have some kind of contact, we took over some home made baked goods as a "welcome to the neighborhood". Had a pleasant & friendly 10 minute talk at the time. Not a peep from them since then, a couple of years ago. If we are out working in the front yard and they drive past they don't look over or wave.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday August 22 2022, @02:18PM (10 children)
I have a similar experience. Our next door neighbors of 15 years were great. Always exchanging pleasantries, conversation over the fence, borrowing/loaning/helping when the need arose. They moved and a single 30-something moved in. Seems to be a nice guy. I introduced myself over the fence and we had a nice 10 minute or so chat, but in the three or more years he's lived there, I don't know if we've had another chat that long. He smiles and waives if I catch his eye, but generally doesn't seem to like to socialize with neighbors. On occasion his peer group will come over with their dogs, but other than that it is really hard to tell if he is even home (curtains almost always drawn).
I don't know, is this an effect of the always online world we live in, that face-to-face interactions with strangers is becoming scary, awkward, or unusual (and thus avoided)?
(Score: 4, Insightful) by acid andy on Monday August 22 2022, @03:08PM (9 children)
These neighbors (yours and the GP's) could be introverted and find small talk tiring (not Smalltalk). They could feel more comfortable communicating in writing--which is something I can really relate to and that goes back long before the internet became a big thing. They might suffer from social anxiety. Or maybe they just feel they have little in common with you to talk about--not necessarily a bad thing.
Master of the science of the art of the science of art.
(Score: 2) by JoeMerchant on Monday August 22 2022, @03:42PM (8 children)
It's a touchy balance... We've been in our current location for 9 years, we effectively have 4 neighbors within "walk to the fence and wave" distance, and we will go 12+ months between talking with a particular set sometimes, other times we might chat 3-4 times in a month for anywhere from a minute to an hour. Basically, we remain available to each other without a constant contact drain on our mutual time and quiet enjoyment of the days. Not exactly introverts, we will wave and make eye contact, but 99% of the time it stops there. At the present moment, it has been about 6 weeks, 4 weeks, 6 days and 2 days since last speaking with the four sets. When we do get talking, if there's mutual time available, it can be pleasant time spent chatting until something (last thing was a thunderstorm) breaks up the party. But, doing that every day with all four sets would leave no time remaining in the day for basic necessities of life.
Україна досі не є частиною Росії Слава Україні🌻 https://news.stanford.edu/2023/02/17/will-russia-ukraine-war-end
(Score: 2) by krishnoid on Monday August 22 2022, @05:24PM (1 child)
I suspect these are the kind of short, catch-up interactions that social media was supposed to make conveniently asynchronous (and to some extent it does). But every generation of STEM-types have to relearn that online interactions [penny-arcade.com] don't perfectly mirror in-person ones.
When it comes to in-person interactions, though, I bet we all have those one or two people who won't stop talking, and you gotta set a hard limit on the conversation so you can budget time responsibly. I don't think there's any other way to put it.
(Score: 4, Interesting) by Anonymous Coward on Monday August 22 2022, @06:50PM
> short, catch-up interactions
When cleaning out the semi-hoarder house of a family friend, we came across a small collection of 100+ year old postcards. Penny stamps (USA $0.01). Most of them were the hand written equivalent of "What's up dude?", very short messages/greetings. A little more research turned up that postal delivery in the city was 2 or 3 times PER DAY back then. The impression I got was that these simple post cards were the equivalent of the text message of the day.
(Score: 5, Interesting) by bzipitidoo on Monday August 22 2022, @07:53PM (3 children)
Touchy, yeah. Our next door neighbors are none too smart, and possibly going senile. May be the kind of senility that turns a person angrier and more paranoid. Robs them of emotional control and that sense of proportion. Ever seen an old miser fly into a furious rage over a penny? They were the first on the block to plant big Trump 2020 signs in their yard. I got tired of it, and a few weeks later planted a Biden sign in ours. Wanted the rest of the neighbors to know the place wasn't solid red. Despite the political differences, we were polite to one another.
Then the old woman blew it in a big way. She complained that my lawn wasn't well kept. Grass was too high. It was 4 to 10 inches, and yes, in some circles, that's criminally high. She talked as if my yard was a wild, overgrown jungle swarming with vermin. I disputed her characterization, and that's when she lost it. Yelled that I was an idiot, and I should move out. Said she was done with me, and stormed back inside her house. She wasn't done. She came back out a few minutes later to yell at me some more. How could I ruin her retirement like that, by being such a horrible slob of a neighbor? How could I?? Another neighbor who was present tried to get her to shut up. I told her she could move away. Since then, it's been ice. Pretends I don't exist. Won't look in my direction when we both happen to be outside at the same time. Meh, as long as they don't try any crap, I don't care.
I really have to wonder about a person who feels their quality of life just can't rise to the levels they deserve all because of a few patches of 10 inch high grass in a neighbor's yard. To trash a relationship over that, wow. To let that pwn you. Even if the lawn is just an excuse and the real reason is the Biden 2020 sign, it's still weak. And way over the top. We are not thieves or vandals, we don't litter, we don't harass others even when they harass us about "weeds", we don't disturb the neighborhood with noisy parties, loud music, smoky bonfires, or such like. But all that's not good enough, not for them.
(Score: 2) by JoeMerchant on Tuesday August 23 2022, @12:43AM (2 children)
Last time I read the City of Miami municipal code, anything over 6" and you can call the city to have them mow it for the homeowner and send them the bill...
Before we got our Robomow, I would regularly let our yard go as tall as it can get, 12"+ in some areas. There's many reasons to avoid cities and HOAs, grass regulations are just one.
Sorry for you, and your neighbors. I don't think their feelings toward you are based in anything other than a need to have an "enemy" available to bitch to each other about. Friend of mine's father was a super nice guy for 73 years, then Alzheimers turned him into a sharp-as-a-tack nasty bastard who would not just be randomly mean but really dig for verbal attacks that would hurt the targets (usually family members) as much as possible.
Our current battle is with a gaggle of Corgis next door. Owners left on a two week vacation and the house/dog sitter took them out twice+ daily for walks about the yard and they barely made a peep, but when the owners let them out its a massive (and clearly un-necessary) bark-fest for 15+ minutes, 3-4 times a day (local codes specify 20 minutes continuous required for a citation.) I've made a high power ultrasonic that we can trigger from our phones, and it helps drive them to the other side of their yard, and mostly gives us a feeling of "control" in the situation. Took the "high road" and asked them to please move the 7am bark-o-rama to 8am since we aren't always reawake from our 5:30 kids on bus ritual by 7am, and they have cheerfully and dutifully stuck with that 8am start time, but they have no apparent care in the world about the massively un-necessary barking.
Україна досі не є частиною Росії Слава Україні🌻 https://news.stanford.edu/2023/02/17/will-russia-ukraine-war-end
(Score: 2) by bzipitidoo on Tuesday August 23 2022, @04:53PM (1 child)
For a couple of years, we were stuck with Dalmatians next door. It's true, Dalmatians are perhaps the very stupidest of all dog breeds. Non-stop barking. Never got used to our presence, despite us being outside much of the weekend. It's like they were incapable of recognizing humans that ought to have become familiar to them. From the way they snarled and bit down hard on the chain link fence separating us whenever we were near, I'm sure they would have bit us if they could. After that, we were far more sympathetic to the movie character Cruella. Turn them all into fur coats.
Yes, I especially dislike HOAs as what they seem best at is breeding and enabling fascism. They're total fascist bait. The sort of person who wants to run an HOA and too often is allowed that, is far too likely to be fascistically inclined. Quick to turn to threats and bullying any resident whose yard or home doesn't conform to their rigid and overbearing expectations. Hypocritically excuse themselves from whatever rule inconveniences them. We're stuck in one of those, thanks to the S.O. believing it would make for a better neighborhood, away from poor ex-convicts and Section 8 housing. I argued against it, but was not heeded.
Not that cities are much better. They're only better because their bullying is by necessity much more diffuse. That 6" rule is typical overreaching, so that they can deal with 12" high grass without anyone credibly disputing that it wasn't in violation. If they actually enforced it against someone for 7" high grass, they could get a lot of flak.
(Score: 3, Interesting) by JoeMerchant on Tuesday August 23 2022, @06:58PM
While I was in the City, I attended a neighborhood meeting where some neighbors went off on the code enforcement officer and started chanting "just enforce the law, just enforce the law", so... the next week they did.
I had had a (nice) boat in the front yard for 5+ years at that point. I would receive the occasional compliment, at least some neighbors liked seeing my boat, and none ever complained. However, there was a law that boats may not be stored in front of the front line of the home, and with 5' setbacks plus landscaping including large concrete planters and walls, there was no way in hell my boat would get behind the front line of my home. After the meeting, code enforcement sent officers to our neighborhood to give the people what they were asking for: a writeup of every single observable observation. 13 days later, I received a certified letter dated 2 days after the meeting, informing me that I had 14 days from the date of the letter (not the date of delivery) in which to comply or face $500 per day fines accruing from the stated deadline. These fines made the local news as some homeowners accrued fines in excess of the value of their homes, and local judges were declaring the entire amount of the fine as uncollectable and essentially meaningless, but it was still a legal mess which slowed/stopped the sale of the homes. Anyway... the next day I sat down with the chief code enforcement officer who was actually a really reasonable man who made clear to me that his officers could only write "observable" offences, and if my boat were, say, behind a legal fence, then the officers would have no reason to come on my property, could not observe the boat, and thus would not write any further citations - and we'll just forget about this one anyway, these were all written in an attempt to educate / calm the residents chanting "just enforce the law" in how undesirable such enforcement really is.
We lived in a HOA neighborhood 2006-2013. 2006-2011 it was a nice place to live, I helped with the board occasionally, little stuff, all cordial with the neighbors. We approved a variance for a family to keep chickens, so long as their immediate neighbors had no objections, then they decided "thanks, but we don't really want chickens after all..." that kind of stuff. In 2011, the Nazis took majority control of the board and it went downhill fast. They were mostly circumspect as long as they were outvoted, but when they took majority power on the board they raised the annual dues payment 15% for no actual reason, hired an enforcement company to come write citations and basically pay their own consulting fees from the fines. The Nazis lived in the back of the neighborhood and they justified that the appearance citations would naturally be more stringently enforced in the front of the neighborhood where everybody saw the houses... it went on and on like that, after we left they were hiring sheriff's deputies to oversee the election ballot counting because of accusations of cheating... so glad to leave them to their own little mess and never look back.
Україна досі не є частиною Росії Слава Україні🌻 https://news.stanford.edu/2023/02/17/will-russia-ukraine-war-end
(Score: 2) by acid andy on Tuesday August 23 2022, @09:33AM (1 child)
I feel kind of dorky and self-conscious waving at a neighbor--and probably even more so if I don't have anything worthwhile to say. But reading this discussion and thinking about it, I guess sometimes it makes the world a better place to let yourself look like a bit of a dork rather than a cold, asocial asshole. Maybe I'll try and wave at people a bit more often from now on.
Master of the science of the art of the science of art.
(Score: 2) by JoeMerchant on Tuesday August 23 2022, @02:14PM
Well, when you wave and they don't, now they're the anti-social asshole, so at least you get that.
Україна досі не є частиною Росії Слава Україні🌻 https://news.stanford.edu/2023/02/17/will-russia-ukraine-war-end
(Score: 2) by krishnoid on Monday August 22 2022, @05:34PM (5 children)
I have to wonder if this is why economic transactions work in the large-scale. if you have $20 and give it to someone else, and they give it to someone else, everyone gets a little bit of kindness. The money could even make it all the way back to the first person and while financially nothing changes, everyone's day might feel a little nicer. We obviously can't have that, which is why US income tax law takes a little bit out of every transaction, which evens things out.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday August 22 2022, @06:41PM
This^^ Another good reason to keep cash around. If your hypothetical $20 was a twenty dollar bill, it could circulate un-taxed. If it was some sort of electronic payment* with an app mediating each transaction, little fees would take some every time the favor was passed along.
*PayPal friend & family transfers, funded from a PayPal balance, might be one of the very few exceptions?
(Score: 2) by aafcac on Monday August 22 2022, @07:10PM (1 child)
The reason why they do it that way is that it would be either incredibly complicated to figure out which dollars to tax at which place, or they'd have to ditch that system of taxation completely and go after things like possessions and activities. And that itself is also problematic.
Money circulates through a healthy economy regularly. The bills themselves are just a way of tracking where it's presently located so that people are able to split barter transactions between more parties and separate when you're giving a good or service versus the part party is getting or receiving a good or service.
(Score: 2) by krishnoid on Monday August 22 2022, @08:45PM
Also, perhaps, if you have people who don't get motivated by giving or receiving kindness, they have less of an innate motivation to circulate money regularly -- say, via paying out occasional bonuses to your home help or charitable acts in the small. Then people like that might just accumulate money and decrease money circulation, degrading the health of the economy.
(Score: 2, Interesting) by therainingmonkey on Tuesday August 23 2022, @04:25PM (1 child)
If I look after your dog while you're away and you lend me a powertool, we both feel a kind of debt to the other which doesn't exactly balance out, and we enter a reciprocal spiral. By introducing money, the debt is calculated exactly, paid off completely and forgotten about; therefore he suggests only non-financial exchanges build community.
I don't know how you'd test it, but that's only one of the many intriguing theses in a fascinating book.
(Score: 2) by krishnoid on Tuesday August 23 2022, @06:48PM
Ask women? I think they have more of a sense that the dog-watching and power-tool lending are (to mismangle a metaphor) have elements more like covalent bonds than ionic bonds, but that description is a little fuzzy. The dog-watching and power-tool lending do involve caretaking for important things belonging to each other as well.
One similar example is eBay reputation. You could buy and sell a bunch of Visa gift cards on the site and while no actual money would change hands, it would be simple enough to inexpensively grow your reputation. That reputation then makes you a more desirable buyer and seller, in a market model that encompasses buyers and sellers along with goods and services. Escrow services obviate the need for trust, but you could say that the option to not use them sort of "creates a market" in reputation or trust.