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Breaking News
posted by takyon on Sunday June 12 2016, @06:00PM   Printer-friendly

A suspected Islamic terrorist opened fire at a gay nightclub in Florida, killing 50 people and wounding another 53 before he was killed by police. While authorities continue to investigate to determine whether this man had ties to ISIS, the terror organization has not been quiet in praising the attack. This comes three days after ISIS announced they would attack somewhere in Florida. Today's attack marks the largest act of terrorism on US soil since 9/11.

takyon: The gunman reportedly called 911 emergency services to pledge allegiance to ISIS. The President will hold a briefing momentarily. Compare this article to the original submission.


Original Submission   Late submission by physicsmajor

 
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  • (Score: 4, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday June 12 2016, @06:45PM

    by Anonymous Coward on Sunday June 12 2016, @06:45PM (#358756)

    Entry into the USA will require proof of eating bacon. No bacon = no entry.

    Starting Score:    0  points
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    Extra 'Funny' Modifier   0  

    Total Score:   4  
  • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday June 12 2016, @06:53PM

    by Anonymous Coward on Sunday June 12 2016, @06:53PM (#358761)

    Hey it might work. Jews will pass the test just fine. Jews gladly eat bacon to piss off God. It's their form of civil disobedience.

    Trouble is it will still keep the vegan granola girls from crossing the border. That's OK though because have you seen those unshaven granola girls who refuse to wear makeup? Yeah, not even the girls want them.

  • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday June 12 2016, @07:02PM

    by Anonymous Coward on Sunday June 12 2016, @07:02PM (#358769)

    Must show gay card to enter gay establishments?

    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday June 12 2016, @09:07PM

      by Anonymous Coward on Sunday June 12 2016, @09:07PM (#358845)

      Gay card proves nothing. Must have erection when shown gay porn.

    • (Score: 1, Insightful) by Anonymous Coward on Monday June 13 2016, @01:33PM

      by Anonymous Coward on Monday June 13 2016, @01:33PM (#359349)

      I firmly have an inkling that this individual was a total closet case, and was mad that the homosexuals were flaunting openly what he tried so hard to suppress in himself. He grew up with everyone around him openly hating on homosexuals, so he had to suppress and adopt their believes. But of course you cannot fight your nature for long, so he went out trying to "prove" what a devout Muslim he was, and "totally not a homosexual" because he couldn't live with himself any longer. And he beat his wife under many pretenses but the real reason was because she was not a man. He probably believed he became homosexual because he was exposed to that lifestyle in the US at some point, and he was scared for his son turning homosexual by being exposed as well.

  • (Score: 2) by hemocyanin on Sunday June 12 2016, @07:06PM

    by hemocyanin (186) on Sunday June 12 2016, @07:06PM (#358774) Journal

    Nuts -- I don't eat mammals for ethical reasons. How about turkey bacon?

  • (Score: 2) by isostatic on Sunday June 12 2016, @08:11PM

    by isostatic (365) on Sunday June 12 2016, @08:11PM (#358811) Journal

    While I look forward to free bacon sandwiches next time I'm queueing for immigration, I'm not sure how it will stop a US citizen who has never left the US.

    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday June 12 2016, @10:12PM

      by Anonymous Coward on Sunday June 12 2016, @10:12PM (#358908)

      Fine. Once per (some suitable time period) every citizen is required to visit his local Department of Homeland Security affiliate and take the bacon-test. It will create jobs and make 'murica great again ...

      • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday June 15 2016, @12:35PM

        by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday June 15 2016, @12:35PM (#360485)

        I like bacon, can I take the test routinely?

    • (Score: 2) by FatPhil on Monday June 13 2016, @03:15AM

      by FatPhil (863) <pc-soylentNO@SPAMasdf.fi> on Monday June 13 2016, @03:15AM (#359099) Homepage
      The US flag will need changing to be the stars and streaks - pledge alliegance to that!
      --
      Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people; the smallest discuss themselves
  • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday June 12 2016, @09:16PM

    by Anonymous Coward on Sunday June 12 2016, @09:16PM (#358858)

    Name a movie that featured John Belushi.

  • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday June 13 2016, @05:40AM

    by Anonymous Coward on Monday June 13 2016, @05:40AM (#359177)

    Muslims love bacon too: [france24.com]

    In the Islamic State of Iran, restaurants are not allowed to serve items forbidden by sharia law, like alcohol and pork. And yet, it is possible to find underground establishments that serve them.

    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday June 14 2016, @02:42PM

      by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday June 14 2016, @02:42PM (#359928)

      Of course they do. Why would a religion ban something people DO NOT LIKE? These types of bans are there to allow them to see how much power they have over people. Just like bans on encryption, or guns, or using a fucking bathroom. It's about control. It's about easily sorting out the "troublemakers" so they can be "dealt with."

  • (Score: 2) by GungnirSniper on Monday June 13 2016, @07:00AM

    by GungnirSniper (1671) on Monday June 13 2016, @07:00AM (#359207) Journal

    Many of these devout Muslims start as ethnic-Arab Western-raised boys and can both drink alcohol (forbidden in Islam) and commit these attacks. Does not every faith have exemptions for the "greater good"?