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El Reg reports Job ad promises "Meaningless Repetitive Work on the .NET Stack"
You'll need "numbness to the absence of excellence", will be paid "handsomely for your soul".
"Grease the wheels of capitalism with your tears ...we will pay you handsomely for your soul."
A job ad has appeared offering one lucky worker the chance to perform "Meaningless Repetitive Work on the .NET Stack".
The ad[*] is real. Recruiter Joshua Wulf told The Register he wrote it after a conversation with a candidate "who told me what his job is really like".
[...] The lucky candidate will get to wrestle the following:
- Multiple generations of legacy code that cannot be refactored without destroying the entire house of cards.
- Design anti-patterns as a design pattern.
- Live, mission-critical system where you develop on the production instance.
- Large sections of managed and native COBOL.
- Easily top every development horror story at LAN parties.
To score the gig, you'll need these traits:
- Experience with the following technologies: .NET, ASP.NET, JavaScript, VBScript, COBOL, Managed COBOL.
- An extreme resilience and ability to withstand intense pressure.
- A numbness to the absence of excellence.
- Wily survival instincts and the ability to keep your head down combined with a reckless disregard for type safety.
- A bonus is any political experience, whether as a candidate or as an elected official.
Wulf tells The Register the ad has succeeded. "My phone has been ringing off the hook", he says. "People are telling me they are strangely attracted to the job because other jobs don't sound real."
"I'm surprised by the response: it's blown up!"
Ever seen this kind of honesty in an ad? Did you have the foresight to have archive.is save a copy? Do share.
[*] Ed note: In accordance with the original ad:
Copyright (c) 2016 Joshua J Wulf / Just Digital People.
License: Creative Commons CC BY-SA 3.0 AU.
(Score: 2) by MadTinfoilHatter on Monday April 18 2016, @12:53PM
...one of the funniest car ads I've ever seen started with the words: "For sale: Demon-possessed Nissan"
Some other gems were (as I recall them from several years back):
The indicator light of the passenger seat heater goes on and off according to what I presume is some kind of biorythm.
If you drive a couple of kilometers along the freeway and drive to a petrol station, you can see the driver's side braking disk glow reg hot, just like in formula 1, so if you happen to get hungry while making a pit-stop for the brakes to cool down, just crack an egg on it and toss in some hot dogs. Though I haven't personnally tested it, I assume they'd be cooked in under a second.
Whenever you try to start in damp weather the Nissan let's out a long croaking noise. This is apparently due to something called a solenoid. I asked a local hairy-hand at the garage how much he would take to fix it. He said he would get back to me, but never did. He probably realised the folly of going up against the forces of darkness with a mere spanner
(Score: 2) by tangomargarine on Monday April 18 2016, @02:44PM
I dunno, I think it would be pretty hard to surpass that joke Baltimore used car commercial.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBs455jwb8w [youtube.com]
"Is that really true?" "I just spent the last hour telling you to think for yourself! Didn't you hear anything I said?"