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El Reg reports Job ad promises "Meaningless Repetitive Work on the .NET Stack"
You'll need "numbness to the absence of excellence", will be paid "handsomely for your soul".
"Grease the wheels of capitalism with your tears ...we will pay you handsomely for your soul."
A job ad has appeared offering one lucky worker the chance to perform "Meaningless Repetitive Work on the .NET Stack".
The ad[*] is real. Recruiter Joshua Wulf told The Register he wrote it after a conversation with a candidate "who told me what his job is really like".
[...] The lucky candidate will get to wrestle the following:
- Multiple generations of legacy code that cannot be refactored without destroying the entire house of cards.
- Design anti-patterns as a design pattern.
- Live, mission-critical system where you develop on the production instance.
- Large sections of managed and native COBOL.
- Easily top every development horror story at LAN parties.
To score the gig, you'll need these traits:
- Experience with the following technologies: .NET, ASP.NET, JavaScript, VBScript, COBOL, Managed COBOL.
- An extreme resilience and ability to withstand intense pressure.
- A numbness to the absence of excellence.
- Wily survival instincts and the ability to keep your head down combined with a reckless disregard for type safety.
- A bonus is any political experience, whether as a candidate or as an elected official.
Wulf tells The Register the ad has succeeded. "My phone has been ringing off the hook", he says. "People are telling me they are strangely attracted to the job because other jobs don't sound real."
"I'm surprised by the response: it's blown up!"
Ever seen this kind of honesty in an ad? Did you have the foresight to have archive.is save a copy? Do share.
[*] Ed note: In accordance with the original ad:
Copyright (c) 2016 Joshua J Wulf / Just Digital People.
License: Creative Commons CC BY-SA 3.0 AU.
(Score: 3, Insightful) by bradley13 on Monday April 18 2016, @01:15PM
For grins, I just looked up the first job ad for a programmer that I could find. Some tidbits:
"As a member of a highly dynamic R&D team" - Hmmm...what do they mean by dynamic? Lots of office politics? One of those places that make you hot-desk, because they haven't got enough office space?
"...at the cutting edge of mobile security" immediately followed by "...designing, developing and maintaining native desktop applications for Windows and MacOS" - So which is it: mobile or desktop?
Really, these places need to fire their HR departments, and let the people actually doing the work write the ads.
Everyone is somebody else's weirdo.
(Score: 2) by c0lo on Monday April 18 2016, @01:40PM
Both. It has two sets of 4-axle rollers and, with a bit of effort, one can move it around.
In other words, it's beyond portable, it is transportable.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoFiw2jMy-0
(Score: 2) by c0lo on Monday April 18 2016, @01:44PM
Most of these ads are fake: it's just the agency getting a fresh CV set.
This is why the
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoFiw2jMy-0
(Score: 2) by butthurt on Tuesday April 19 2016, @11:30AM
I wonder whether the honest advert has attracted honest callers with honest CVs.
(Score: 5, Interesting) by VLM on Monday April 18 2016, @01:50PM
This could be a fun thread.
What I noticed in linkedin jobs is they massively downmarket. We need a data entry clerk or a reset button pressing monkey, lets ask for a director level employee and see what we get.
So my top job (supposedly) is a senior data center analyst where I'd have no direct reports and basically project manage contractors in India who do all the work, but they demand 7+ years of progressive (as opposed to right wing) data center management experience. So they're looking for a mid level manager who wants to drop back to front line project management. And they don't use Red Hat and the job descript wouldn't appear to involve being a redhat sysadmin, but they prefer RHCE although they don't use the keyword, perhaps out of fear of using a (tm) term or they're worried they might actually get qualified candidates. I guess 20 years of Debian experience and *BSD experience means I could never type as much as "ls" at a console of holiness running red hat.
Another weird job wants a senior software dev (OK I guess thats me) with "expert knowledge" of, well, everything from langs to DB to algos in a general non-specific sense. Well, thats not me, I feel expert level is like Martin Odersky for a Scala job or hiring RMS to admin your emacs installation. But this is "HR" expert where they just mean 2+ years experience, so I'm OK. Then I notice they don't mention the languages they use other than CSS and HTML, so I guess frontend web dev instead of a "real" programmer job? And they demand I use visual studio or eclipse, so they need a tool operator not a developer. And they have a mandatory physical requirement on the req of a typing test at 40 WPM (what is this data entry?). And they do devops so I'd be doing sysadmin work on both the dev and prod servers while being on call for prod servers (what is this an ops job? F that.) . And they really want someone with distribution industry experience (so... they want a former truck driver? I work in industries that deliver lots of bits, ones and zeros...) Oh and I'll be supporting SAP for the HR and accountant people. Its a ridiculous job ad... they want an expert level front end web dev who uses VS or eclipse to write HTML, who doesn't want to work web dev anymore (at least not at expert level) because he's gonna spend all his work and free time sysadmining prod oracle and SAP servers, while typing data entry at a tested minimum of 40 WPM as I reminisce about my former job, which was truck driver (therefore I'm not qualified, because obviously you can't use VS or write HTML or admin SAP without previous distribution industry experience). Its pretty much a WTF top to bottom.
I can see that my next job is going to be a contractor gig or the usual "friend of a friend" I've been doing for a quarter century, because HR just can't hire experienced IT people, all they can produce is a WTF word salad.
I suppose I could have continued mining linkedin, but my third job (admittedly marked as sponsored) was a railroad "equipment operator", which is about what it sounds. Apparently the sponsored link keyed off my SONET/fiber former career when the job listed locating and working around buried cables and buried fiber. Great job linkedin, you sure are worth being a billion dollar company.
(Score: 2) by tangomargarine on Monday April 18 2016, @02:46PM
What drove me nuts recently was when you run across a "software engineer" job listing and it's all JavaScript and web bullshit.
"Is that really true?" "I just spent the last hour telling you to think for yourself! Didn't you hear anything I said?"
(Score: 3, Insightful) by tibman on Monday April 18 2016, @02:59PM
What would the appropriate job title be?
SN won't survive on lurkers alone. Write comments.
(Score: 5, Insightful) by Common Joe on Monday April 18 2016, @03:31PM
Web developer
(Score: 5, Funny) by TheRaven on Monday April 18 2016, @05:57PM
sudo mod me up