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posted by LaminatorX on Monday April 28 2014, @02:37PM   Printer-friendly
from the Better-the-Chimp-than-Corporations dept.

From the article, paraphrased:

When Steven Wise, a 63-year-old legal scholar in the field of animal law, decided to poke around Circle L Trailer Sales to assess the living conditions of the Reindeer living on the company grounds, he was horrified to discover that a former circus chimpanzee named Tommy was forced to live in inhumane conditions:

A rancid milk-musk odor wafted forth and with it the sight of an adult chimpanzee, crouched inside a small steel-mesh cell. Some plastic toys and bits of soiled bedding were strewn behind him. The only visible light emanated from a small portable TV on a stand outside his bars, tuned to what appeared to be a nature show.

Being sufficiently moved by witnessing that heinous crime, Wise and a few cohorts strolled into the Fulton County Courthouse wielding a legal document the likes of which had never been seen in any of the world's courts, a legal package including a detailed account of the "petitioner's" cruel and unusual solitary confinement along with nine affidavits gathered from leading primatologists, underscoring the physical and psychological damages such living conditions endured by a being with such cognitive capability. Tommy would not, however, have anticipated that he was about to make legal history as the first nonhuman primate to ever sue a human captor in an attempt to gain his own freedom.

Granting rights associated with personhood to non-persons has been discussed extensively before, but would be giving personhood to animals be a dangerous slippery-slope? Would be the mark of a more humane and mature society?

 
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  • (Score: 2) by tangomargarine on Monday April 28 2014, @03:11PM

    by tangomargarine (667) on Monday April 28 2014, @03:11PM (#37201)

    No. Emphatically no. This nonsense about trying to give monkeys voting rights etc. etc. is just too ridiculous.

    Yes, people who develop makeup using them should I suppose not be large, flaming assholes, but there are other ways to fix that.

    --
    "Is that really true?" "I just spent the last hour telling you to think for yourself! Didn't you hear anything I said?"
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  • (Score: 1) by kcdills on Monday April 28 2014, @03:17PM

    by kcdills (4159) on Monday April 28 2014, @03:17PM (#37210)
    You beat me to it.

    I invoke Betteridge's law of headlines [wikipedia.org]: no.