[Image redacted. There was a permissions issue -- the story was updated to include an image not in keeping with the editorial policy of this site. The party responsible has had their privileges rescinded. And, kudos to the community... They took this lemon, ran with it, and started a whole franchise of lemonade stands with a veritable cornucopia of insightful, witty, and self-deprecating comments! --martyb]
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20 2017, @04:06PM (14 children)
Now I'm curious...
(Score: 3, Funny) by bob_super on Monday March 20 2017, @04:23PM (7 children)
It's a story about the power of marketing teasers.
(Score: 3, Funny) by zocalo on Monday March 20 2017, @06:37PM (1 child)
UNIX? They're not even circumcised! Savages!
(Score: 2) by VLM on Monday March 20 2017, @07:43PM
Hes probably still compiling. Contemporary with the recent Xenix theme, way back in '93 I had a 40 MHz 386DX with 4 one meg SIMMs. You see back then each SIMM only provided 8 bits and 386 being a 32 bit bus, yeah, so SIMMs were installed in quads not pairs like today. Now 4 megs of ram could either run xwindows at 640x480 or so, OR I could add a couple megs of swap (like 4 or so) and compile a kernel in about two hours. I found some 256K SIMMs laying around for the taking because 1 meg 286 was kinda passe by '93 or so, and I installed all four bringing be up to 5 megs. The speed up on kernel compiles was much better than linear with memory and I used a lot less swap and a compile now only took maybe a half hour, which is a pretty good deal seeing as I paid "free" for the 256K SIMMs.
Maybe a few years later (but not many, like '94, '95 or so) I vaguely remember saving up quite a pile of money, like a months rent, and buying 4 meg simms such that I could install 4 of them to get 16 megs AND install the four 1 meg simms (removing the 256K simms) leaving me with a staggering 20 megs of ram. Which is a hell of a lot seeing as 40 meg IDE PATA drive was installed. I may have upgraded to a 120 meg IDE by then.
(Score: 2) by TheRaven on Monday March 20 2017, @07:56PM (2 children)
sudo mod me up
(Score: 2) by art guerrilla on Tuesday March 21 2017, @12:17AM
what i was going to say: apparently an inverse relationship between the length of articles and commenting...
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday March 21 2017, @01:36PM
Unflattering? People are so impressed with the other submissions that they are speechless.
(Score: 3, Funny) by iWantToKeepAnon on Monday March 20 2017, @11:45PM (1 child)
"Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." -- Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
(Score: 2) by Webweasel on Tuesday March 21 2017, @11:20AM
I reckon it's some guy's name. Some guy named Gabbo.
Priyom.org Number stations, Russian Military radio. "You are a bad, bad man. Do you have any other virtues?"-Runaway1956
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20 2017, @05:30PM (5 children)
Hi Curious, any reason you felt the need to tell us twice?
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20 2017, @07:04PM
Yeah, I'm curious about that!
(Score: 3, Funny) by Nerdfest on Monday March 20 2017, @07:21PM (3 children)
Perhaps he's "bi-curious"
(Score: 3, Funny) by VLM on Monday March 20 2017, @07:28PM (2 children)
Given the Xenix 386 theme lately, I guess that would be "Xe Curious"
So if a unix is a eunuch then a XEnix is a xe nix which is a ...?
(Score: 2) by Nerdfest on Monday March 20 2017, @07:36PM (1 child)
Nicely done.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday March 21 2017, @03:12AM
But "Xe curious" would be interest in joining a certain very macho mercenary group formerly known as Blackwater? (And seriously, what kind of name is "Eric Prince", anyway?)
(Score: 2) by DeathMonkey on Monday March 20 2017, @04:06PM (3 children)
Saved for NCommander to post a story
So, is this the -1'st post, then?
(Score: 4, Funny) by Fnord666 on Monday March 20 2017, @04:48PM (1 child)
So, is this the -1'st post, then?
Yes, this is the story of NCommander's face before he was born. The audio is the sound of one hand clapping.
(Score: 2) by TheRaven on Friday March 31 2017, @09:34AM
You sent me a message asking which application I used to catalogue my books, but Soylent doesn't appear to give me a mechanism for replying. I use Book Catalogue [f-droid.org], though it appears to be largely unmaintained. There are a few forks on GitHub that appear to add a few new features. It works well, but the search UI could do with some improvements for books that don't have ISBNs.
sudo mod me up
(Score: 2) by VanessaE on Tuesday March 21 2017, @06:54AM
Shouldn't it be the zeroth post?
(Score: 5, Insightful) by DBCubix on Monday March 20 2017, @04:15PM (32 children)
Saved for a future insightful comment.
(Score: 3, Interesting) by driven on Monday March 20 2017, @04:17PM (19 children)
Modded insightful for said insightful comment.
(Score: 2, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20 2017, @04:19PM (18 children)
Saved for AC "worthless" comment.
(Score: 2, Touché) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20 2017, @04:22PM (17 children)
Saved for future obvious rebuttal comment.
(Score: 1) by charon on Monday March 20 2017, @05:36PM (11 children)
(Score: 2) by DECbot on Monday March 20 2017, @05:42PM (6 children)
Saved for the sharped tounge, ad hominem, strawman rebuttal.
cats~$ sudo chown -R us /home/base
(Score: -1, Offtopic) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20 2017, @06:33PM (5 children)
Saved for offtopic obvious troll comment that will eventually be modded to -1.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20 2017, @07:34PM (4 children)
Saved for, Ah Screw it.
(Score: 4, Funny) by zafiro17 on Monday March 20 2017, @08:33PM (3 children)
Saved for long-ass diatribe about how the Green Site never would have posted something like this, or about how they had this first, or about how it doesn't matter when the Green Site posted it because this is more about horrific-looking kneecap photoshop COMMUNITY and if you don't like it then you can just fark off back to the Green Site but I'm staying here because images like this one show the importance of citizen journalism and community circle-jerking and that's why everyone should commit some money voluntarily even though I haven't but I'm going to try to sound higher than thou about the whole thing even though secretly I'm hoping we hit the $3000 threshold just before I have to get out my wallet and contribute, even though I never did anything similar for the Green Site, which doesn't matter because soylent is people and also news, just not this post which isn't really news at all but rather a reminder about how advancing metaphors in communication allow us to make this a meta-comment about community news sites in general, something the farking Green Site Never .. Would .. Have .. Permitted. Boo ya.
Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis - Jack Handey
(Score: 4, Informative) by DECbot on Monday March 20 2017, @08:39PM (2 children)
Fuck Beta!
cats~$ sudo chown -R us /home/base
(Score: 2) by Gaaark on Tuesday March 21 2017, @01:27AM (1 child)
Saved for fucking Beta.
"She has traveled, yes. She's from Scarsdale."
"SAY NO MORE!!"
--- Please remind me if I haven't been civil to you: I'm channeling MDC. ---Gaaark 2.0 ---
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday March 21 2017, @01:38PM
Saved for complaining about "Fuck Beta" post, noting that they are so terribly outdated.
(Score: 4, Informative) by DeathMonkey on Monday March 20 2017, @05:46PM (3 children)
Just doing my part to make this the most highly-commented article of the week!
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20 2017, @07:46PM (2 children)
Screw the week, we need to make this the most highly commented article EVER.
1000 COMMENTS, HERE WE COME!
(Score: 2) by jmorris on Monday March 20 2017, @07:51PM (1 child)
But in keeping with this being the "Seinfeld" thread about nothing, keep em all tweet size.
(Score: 2) by Gaaark on Tuesday March 21 2017, @01:28AM
My hands are too small.
And orange. :(
--- Please remind me if I haven't been civil to you: I'm channeling MDC. ---Gaaark 2.0 ---
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20 2017, @07:30PM (4 children)
Saved for future Soylent drinking game comment. Everybody save a drink!
(Score: 2, Funny) by khallow on Monday March 20 2017, @07:37PM (3 children)
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20 2017, @07:54PM (1 child)
Is obvious
(Score: 2) by FatPhil on Tuesday March 21 2017, @09:28AM
Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people; the smallest discuss themselves
(Score: 3, Funny) by bob_super on Monday March 20 2017, @08:15PM
*drinks*
(Score: 3, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20 2017, @04:19PM (9 children)
Saved for future comment with witty retort.
(Score: 2) by Marand on Monday March 20 2017, @06:22PM (1 child)
Saved for future flamebait reply laden with generous use of the word "fuck".
(Score: 2) by FatPhil on Tuesday March 21 2017, @09:32AM
Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people; the smallest discuss themselves
(Score: 2) by maxwell demon on Monday March 20 2017, @07:20PM (6 children)
Saved for obligatory xkcd link.
The Tao of math: The numbers you can count are not the real numbers.
(Score: 1) by khallow on Monday March 20 2017, @07:31PM (4 children)
(Score: 2) by maxwell demon on Monday March 20 2017, @07:47PM (3 children)
Maybe this [xkcd.com] is more on-topic. :-)
The Tao of math: The numbers you can count are not the real numbers.
(Score: 1) by khallow on Monday March 20 2017, @07:59PM (2 children)
(Score: 2, Informative) by khallow on Monday March 20 2017, @08:01PM (1 child)
(Score: 2) by Gaaark on Tuesday March 21 2017, @01:31AM
And by 5 minutes older, he means he wishes my son would FECKING SLEEP!
--- Please remind me if I haven't been civil to you: I'm channeling MDC. ---Gaaark 2.0 ---
(Score: 2) by Pino P on Monday March 20 2017, @08:14PM
Sorry, wrong stick figure comic. The story currently has a picture taken from the last panel of this Cyanide and Happiness strip [explosm.net].
(Score: 2) by Lagg on Monday March 20 2017, @05:52PM (1 child)
This post and resulting score should be archived for later reference by mankind. Also is it topical if we talk about the non-topical post posted by the topicer-in-chief.
http://lagg.me [lagg.me] 🗿
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday March 21 2017, @01:43PM
We've still got the chance to get it into the Hall of Fame. [soylentnews.org]
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20 2017, @04:19PM (3 children)
On March 20th 2017 a small website used primarily by people with glasses was the recipient of yet another example of what we are calling "The POTUS Effect". All over leaders small and large are emulating the latest US president by using their position of power for personal gain. We are getting reports now that this is not a new phenomenon and we are simply seeing it on a larger scale.
A walking beard had this to say before muttering some gibberish: "ADMIN ABUSE!"
We were able to record the gibberish though we as yet do not know what it means. If anyone has any information about the significance of "rm -rf WORLD" please contact us at 888-867-5309.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20 2017, @04:24PM (1 child)
It is real [youtube.com].
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20 2017, @04:34PM
Hehe, no humorous sarcasm goes unpunished!
(Score: 1, Touché) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20 2017, @04:35PM
Jenny, is that you?
(Score: 2) by Hartree on Monday March 20 2017, @04:58PM (7 children)
But is it just the same old story?
(Score: 2) by VLM on Monday March 20 2017, @05:05PM (2 children)
Can still collect valuable karma:
Shouldda used Lorem Ipsum
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lorem_ipsum [wikipedia.org]
(Score: 3, Informative) by MrGuy on Monday March 20 2017, @05:37PM
Burma Shave
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20 2017, @07:27PM
Needs more bacon [baconipsum.com]!
Bacon ipsum dolor amet strip steak spare ribs short ribs meatball, turkey sausage ground round beef short loin bacon rump tri-tip pig. Cow beef ribs fatback, tongue porchetta bacon kielbasa sausage tri-tip spare ribs pastrami corned beef chuck filet mignon hamburger. Pork belly meatball brisket pork chop shankle picanha. Leberkas biltong ham hock turducken meatloaf pork chop ribeye, beef porchetta turkey shank doner sirloin salami. Biltong pork loin shankle hamburger tri-tip. Shank pork chop jowl, pork loin turducken tail pig. Venison jowl tail leberkas, filet mignon ham cow drumstick turducken ribeye salami.
(Score: 2) by AndyTheAbsurd on Monday March 20 2017, @05:13PM (3 children)
It's the same old song and dance.
Please note my username before responding. You may have been trolled.
(Score: 2) by Hartree on Monday March 20 2017, @08:02PM
"We've changed our name to Exxon, but it's still the same old gas."
(Score: 2) by Gaaark on Tuesday March 21 2017, @01:39AM (1 child)
Watching as the frilly panties run....
--- Please remind me if I haven't been civil to you: I'm channeling MDC. ---Gaaark 2.0 ---
(Score: 2) by Hartree on Tuesday March 21 2017, @02:06AM
spitting out pieces of his broken luck.
(Score: 3, Touché) by mechanicjay on Monday March 20 2017, @05:06PM (1 child)
This is the shortest NCommander story ever!
My VMS box beat up your Windows box.
(Score: 2) by zafiro17 on Monday March 20 2017, @08:35PM
... and the best one ever! Far better than the usual stuff.
Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis - Jack Handey
(Score: 1, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20 2017, @05:15PM
I am, like, totally done with this travesty of site.
(Score: 2) by Fishscene on Monday March 20 2017, @05:27PM (3 children)
It needs more content and probably shouldn't have been posted before being filled out. Editors (if we have any), please resolve!
I know I am not God, because every time I pray to Him, it's because I'm not perfect and thankful for what He's done.
(Score: 4, Informative) by CoolHand on Monday March 20 2017, @06:12PM (2 children)
Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job-Douglas Adams
(Score: 2) by Fishscene on Monday March 20 2017, @08:47PM
Well hey, that makes perfect sense. Thanks for commenting back and explaining! I actually really do appreciate it. :)
I know I am not God, because every time I pray to Him, it's because I'm not perfect and thankful for what He's done.
(Score: 2) by Gaaark on Tuesday March 21 2017, @01:41AM
Best. Time. Ever!
Fun shite... Nothing wrong with letting people post their way to a laugh.
Thanks for leaving it! :)
--- Please remind me if I haven't been civil to you: I'm channeling MDC. ---Gaaark 2.0 ---
(Score: 2) by MrGuy on Monday March 20 2017, @05:35PM (5 children)
Earnest Hemmingway once supposedly [wikipedia.org] wrote a short story in only 6 words.
It apparently takes NCommaner 7.
(Score: 2) by VLM on Monday March 20 2017, @05:50PM
Xenix 386 is still rebooting
About 5 words depending how you count it. Its an interesting series. If I was taking bets I'd bet he thought he'd get eth0 up and running and make a triumphant post to SN from inside Xenix, but here we are, xenix-less once again. Or perhaps he took the red pill and found out what we call "the real world" is actually a simulation written in COBOL inside MVS/360 on a Hercules emulator and he didn't take it well.
(Score: 2) by requerdanos on Monday March 20 2017, @05:58PM (3 children)
Hemmingway... short story in only 6 words... NCommaner 7.
Hemingway's [alleged] story is the more interesting [google.com] of the two, in this reviewer's opinion.
---
So often your mod points go to waste... Why not mod this post up right now and help stop that trend.
(Score: 2) by mhajicek on Monday March 20 2017, @09:47PM (2 children)
"This song's just six words long."
The spacelike surfaces of time foliations can have a cusp at the surface of discontinuity. - P. Hajicek
(Score: 2) by deathlyslow on Tuesday March 21 2017, @12:17AM
I'm partial to the Nails' 88 lines about 44 women.
(Score: 2) by maxwell demon on Tuesday March 21 2017, @07:52AM
I only need five words!
The Tao of math: The numbers you can count are not the real numbers.
(Score: 2) by bob_super on Monday March 20 2017, @05:51PM
He's gonna need a separate post ...
Nothing could live up to this hype, now.
(Score: 2) by goodie on Monday March 20 2017, @05:57PM (3 children)
Now, sir, you better deliver! The people demand a story! Make it a good one too!
(Score: 3, Insightful) by requerdanos on Monday March 20 2017, @06:01PM (1 child)
you better deliver...The people demand a story
At 31 replies as of now, I'd say this *is* the story, and it's doing fairly well as these thing go in terms of promoting on-topic, relevant (such as it is) discussion.
(Score: 3, Interesting) by maxwell demon on Monday March 20 2017, @07:28PM
No surprise. After all, it's a topic everyone here is familiar with.
The Tao of math: The numbers you can count are not the real numbers.
(Score: 2) by Gaaark on Tuesday March 21 2017, @01:44AM
For sale: web site. Never used.
;)
--- Please remind me if I haven't been civil to you: I'm channeling MDC. ---Gaaark 2.0 ---
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20 2017, @06:11PM (2 children)
Its a haiku post, I kew it all along.
(Score: 5, Funny) by AthanasiusKircher on Monday March 20 2017, @07:53PM (1 child)
NCommander posts
The story has no content
Comments overflow
(Score: 2) by maxwell demon on Tuesday March 21 2017, @07:55AM
I wonder how many comments per story are supported by Rehash. And what happens if that limit is reached.
And whether we'll find out with this story. :-)
The Tao of math: The numbers you can count are not the real numbers.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20 2017, @06:37PM
Anonymous demonstration for the right to have an honorable name.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20 2017, @06:39PM (5 children)
But I thought only Jesus Saves.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20 2017, @09:26PM (1 child)
But I thought only Jesus Saves.
But Moses invests.
(Score: 1, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday March 21 2017, @12:02AM
But I thought only Jesus Saves.
But Moses invests.
But Buddha recycles.
(Score: 1, Insightful) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20 2017, @09:32PM (1 child)
Your magic sky daddy is not real, and jebus was just a run of the mill nut. The only reason people still believe this stuff is so they can justify molesting children.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20 2017, @10:02PM
But.... NCommander is real. I read his stories. He apparently Saves.
Oh, I get it, you want me to know that NCommander is the Savior then. Yeah, I can get behind that. How do you want me to fuck off, my lord?
(Score: 2) by bob_super on Monday March 20 2017, @10:20PM
But NCommander has better backups: no 3-day downtime.
(Score: 2) by MichaelDavidCrawford on Monday March 20 2017, @06:50PM
Filter error: Comment too short
Yes I Have No Bananas. [gofundme.com]
(Score: 5, Funny) by DeathMonkey on Monday March 20 2017, @06:51PM (2 children)
Well, what do you expect when stories are selected by a violently imposed monopoly?
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20 2017, @08:46PM (1 child)
We have a few select
warlordseditors because men are not angels. I mean, we could do it like Kuro5hin, and some people really liked that place, and I'm sure it would have worked really well too, er, if men were angels.(Score: 2) by maxwell demon on Monday March 20 2017, @09:03PM
Fallen angels are angels, too!
The Tao of math: The numbers you can count are not the real numbers.
(Score: 2) by GlennC on Monday March 20 2017, @07:06PM
Saved for GlennC to post a comment
Sorry folks...the world is bigger and more varied than you want it to be. Deal with it.
(Score: 2) by Subsentient on Monday March 20 2017, @07:21PM (8 children)
"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." -Jiddu Krishnamurti
(Score: 2) by VLM on Monday March 20 2017, @07:32PM (3 children)
No, its not Trump's fault.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20 2017, @07:35PM
Hey, I understood that sentence! Your aides must be making some serious progress. I can see the next story now: "VLM learns to tie his shoes!"
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20 2017, @09:28PM (1 child)
Fake news, alternative facts, and stuff I made up and put on twitter. Who am I?
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday March 21 2017, @12:04AM
Lock her up! Lock her up! Lock her up!
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday March 20 2017, @07:33PM
A quick how-to guide for aspiring actors that will need to play the roles of successful autistic savants? If they're lucky they can just be like Ben Affleck, let a little kid do the autistic wailing and he can just play the socially awkward super soldier.
(Score: 1) by khallow on Monday March 20 2017, @07:35PM (1 child)
(Score: 2) by Pino P on Monday March 20 2017, @08:24PM
Your cheese supply was moved to another depot. Several authors have written about how various groups of rodents and Lilliputian lab assistants have dealt with similar events in fictional Rat Park replication attempts: "Who Moved My Cheese?" by Spencer Johnson, "Who Cut the Cheese?" by Stilton Jarlsberg, "Who Cut the Cheese?" by Mason Brown, "Who Stole My Cheese?" by Ilene Hochberg, and "I Moved Your Cheese" by Deepak Malhotra.
(Score: 2) by Gaaark on Tuesday March 21 2017, @01:47AM
I saw that porno too!
--- Please remind me if I haven't been civil to you: I'm channeling MDC. ---Gaaark 2.0 ---