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On a slow news day, the BBC "reports" some rules about a summer hit tune. In summary:
- It has to be simple.
- It should make you feel like you're on holiday.
- Novelty is everything.
- Radio-friendly songs make bigger hits.
- It should be released before the summer.
- But it should have the word "summer" in the title.
If simplicity and novelty are the most important then this summer's hit could be Beep! Beep! I'm A Sheep!
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(1)
(1)
Learning French is trivial: the word for horse is cheval, and everything else
follows in the same way.
-- Alan J. Perlis
(Score: 3, Informative) by Ethanol-fueled on Sunday July 09 2017, @07:08PM (2 children)
Joe Satriani's "Summer Song" [youtube.com] comes to mind.
As well as pretty much every Beach Boys or Van Halen song ever recorded, particularly Panama.
And to describe musically the bad after-effects of summer nights, G.G. Allin's Sleeping in my Piss. [youtube.com]
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 09 2017, @11:05PM (1 child)
"G.G. Allin" and "Hit Summer Song"
Hope the jackass is enjoying his time in Hell right now.
(Score: 2) by LoRdTAW on Monday July 10 2017, @02:40AM
Nah. He's partying with Seth Putnam, Don Decker and Eldon "El Duce" Hoke.
(Score: 0, Interesting) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 09 2017, @07:16PM
A link to YouTube? Why aren't you stealth linking to your steaming audio invention [soylentnews.org] ? Stop implicitly admitting YouTube is the only sound cloud the pubic masses will ever accept!
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 09 2017, @07:27PM (2 children)
http://www.billboard.com/charts/summer-songs [billboard.com]
http://www.billboard.com/artist/308529/luis-fonsi [billboard.com]
http://lyricstranslate.com/en/despacito-slowly.html [lyricstranslate.com]
http://m4a-64.cdn107.com/32/54/66/3254668768126228523.m4a [cdn107.com]
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 09 2017, @07:35PM
DJ Khaled? Welp
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 09 2017, @10:06PM
ESE GRINGO [youtube.com]
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 09 2017, @07:28PM (1 child)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XivELBdxVRM [youtube.com]
(feel free to contribute other links besides YouTube...)
Or, a live version by Janis,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bn5TNqjuHiU [youtube.com]
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 09 2017, @07:48PM
https://soundcloud.com/summerella/pull-up-feat-jacquees [soundcloud.com]
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 09 2017, @07:35PM (2 children)
Now you can't get rid of the earworm for the next couple of days. }:D
(Score: 2, Funny) by Ethanol-fueled on Sunday July 09 2017, @08:00PM
One of my friends showed me the Black Macarena dance, which is a lot like the regular Macarena dance except that it ends with the dancer face-down on the ground with their hands behind their back.
(Score: 2) by Magic Oddball on Monday July 10 2017, @07:24AM
The Macarena is mindlessly goofy, but it doesn't produce the same kind of wincing reaction that Achy Breaky Heart does.
(You know you were from a rural town in the early 1990s if most of the audience at local festivals could perform the "Achy Breaky Heart" line-dance almost flawlessly after a night of drinking.)
(Score: 1, Informative) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 09 2017, @07:39PM (17 children)
1. Don't sing, just talk like a pissed-off moron.
2. Don't play an instrument, use a Mattel toy drum track.
3. Say "Yo" "Ho" and "Motherfucker" a lot.
4. Don't dance, just stand in one place and wave your hands around like a spastic doing ASL.
Presto! You area hip-hop "artist"!
(Score: 1, Interesting) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 09 2017, @08:37PM
You mean like this?
https://www.reverbnation.com/joecalico/song/17276297-no-radio-airplay [reverbnation.com]
(Score: 2, Funny) by Lagg on Sunday July 09 2017, @09:05PM (4 children)
The +1 informative on this made me think of a couple of skinny fuckers in a starbucks carefully analyzing rap stating "why yes, this is a rap, would use for masturbation timing. 2/10" in the most offensive loser comic book guy voice I could mimic at the time.
People's ideas of what hiphop is are still embarrassingly [youtube.com] white bread and underexposed [youtube.com]. Which is great because failing to acknowledge its place in culture sure makes murika great again hm?
http://lagg.me [lagg.me] 🗿
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 09 2017, @09:21PM (2 children)
What culture? Who's culture?
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 09 2017, @09:37PM (1 child)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Belt_(U.S._region) [wikipedia.org]
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Belt_(region_of_Alabama) [wikipedia.org]
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Belt_(region_of_Chicago) [wikipedia.org]
Pick one.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 09 2017, @11:02PM
I think you're picking this...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nose [wikipedia.org]
or this
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cotton [wikipedia.org]
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 09 2017, @09:27PM
Which is worse, hmm?
Dick niggas
We aim't never fuck no old pussy
We fuck lotta young pussy
ban me before i troll ya [soylentnews.org]
You know young rich niggas
You know so we never really had no old money
We got a whole lot of new money though, hah
Migos - Bad and Boujee [youtube.com]
(Score: 2) by Thexalon on Sunday July 09 2017, @10:32PM (1 child)
Except you can't use actual profanity and expect to get radio airplay. As Monty Python demonstrated with this classic:
The only thing that stops a bad guy with a compiler is a good guy with a compiler.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 09 2017, @10:39PM
You just need a radio edit, and you can sing it live too, like last year when The Weeknd sang about his "motherfucking starboy" status at a Victoria’s Secret fashion show.
https://youtu.be/vuT_bXzhqhY [youtu.be]
(Score: 3, Interesting) by n1 on Sunday July 09 2017, @10:39PM (7 children)
That may well be how you become a 'rap star' but a 'hip-hop artist' is quite different. Hip-Hop is not defined by those who have the 'lil' prefix in their stage name.
Examples of hip-hop artists: Aesop Rock, RTJ, Cunninlynguists, Freestyle Fellowship, Pete Philly, Blitz the Ambassador, Akala, Living Legends, Big KRIT, Mayday, Lupe Fiasco, Kendrick Lamar, Chali 2na and the list could go on.
Hilltop Hoods have now made two albums with the Adelaide Symphony Orchestra and the Adelaide Chamber Singers Choir. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Hy6WEv_nOM [youtube.com]
I had no idea dancing during a performance talent was a criteria for being an artist in music. Does your musical taste start and end at Lady Gaga and Beyonce type pop acts?
Finally, your 'talk like a pissed off moron' is quite outdated for the current 'rap star' trends, now you just have to sound completely disinterested and mumble unintelligibly.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 09 2017, @11:13PM (4 children)
I'll just leave this here...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTLvRvbqJs8 [youtube.com]
(Score: 2) by n1 on Monday July 10 2017, @12:36AM (3 children)
I'm assuming the point you're making is that... Throughout history artists pioneering or adapting culturally and socially significant forms of musical and artistic expression, have almost always been derided and dismissed as talentless hacks by proponents of the more established and traditional art of the day.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 10 2017, @12:45AM (2 children)
Street criminals grabbing their crotches while they complain about their own self-inflicted situations is art?
(Score: 2, Troll) by n1 on Monday July 10 2017, @02:26AM (1 child)
I'm sure you're trolling but anyway...
Akala - Fire in the booth [youtube.com]
Big K.R.I.T - Dreamin' [youtube.com]
Hilltop Hoods - Stopping All Stations [youtube.com]
Shogun - Vulcan [youtube.com]
Run The Jewels - A Christmas Fucking Miracle [youtube.com]
Murs - No More Control [youtube.com]
Killer Mike - Reagan [youtube.com]
I am curious though, in this troll persona, do you have the same disdain for folk songs that talk about the self-inflicted struggles of their chosen occupations in mining and farming? After all they could have taken personal responsibility for their situation and sought to improve it rather than writing songs bitching about it.
(Score: 3, Funny) by Magic Oddball on Monday July 10 2017, @06:42AM
Don't forget, though, that hip-hop wasn't always insightful social criticism — if you go back to the early days, the performers more often just aimed to be entertaining:
(From 1979's Rapper's Delight [wikipedia.org])
(Score: 2) by t-3 on Monday July 10 2017, @10:49PM (1 child)
The part you're missing is that "hip-hop" is culturally irrelevant outside New York, and rap is where it's at. Even the "lil's" have deep social commentary and the sound is just killing that played out wack east coast BS. From the beginning, gangsta rap has been shining a light into society's dark corners; see Spice 1 - Welcome to the Ghetto and many others, Scarface and to a lesser extent the Geto Boys, 8-Ball & MJG, especially check out 8-Ball's solo CD Lost, Dayton Family - What's on Your Mind? is a great example, UGK ("it aint like they make high levels gainable, and that quote piece of american pie just aint attainable, so how can I sustain a full life before death? I'm left out here to make it by my goddamn self"), Tupac's whole career, Lil Boosie, if you dig deep into Future and Gucci's stuff you'll find diamonds in there along with the bangers, Kanye's early output, IMO his recent stuff is lazier lyrically, Jeezy, Lil Durk, even Kodak Black if you can understand his accent, etc etc I could go on all day.
(Score: 2) by n1 on Tuesday July 11 2017, @09:56PM
I don't disagree with anything you said. I used the distinction between 'hip-hop' and 'rap stars' to illustrate a point, for people with no exposure to anything outside the typical 'club banger' rap hits from Rick Ross and the like, it wasn't a dismissal of rap in general. I'm a big fan of Freddie Gibbs, as an example.
(Score: -1, Offtopic) by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 10 2017, @03:44PM
Ah, Trump impression.
(Score: 2) by Gaaark on Sunday July 09 2017, @07:50PM
You don't have to try try try to write a song, You don't have to try try try to write a song, You don't have to try try try to write a song,
You just repeat yourself....
*Repeat after nauseum*
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GXoZLPSw8U8 [youtube.com]
Hate this kind of shite. And Sheryl Crow.
--- Please remind me if I haven't been civil to you: I'm channeling MDC. ---Gaaark 2.0 ---
(Score: 3, Touché) by iWantToKeepAnon on Sunday July 09 2017, @07:51PM (1 child)
"Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." -- Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 10 2017, @08:11AM
"Beep! Beep! Summer Sheep!" fits, syllable-wise.
(Score: 3, Informative) by Thexalon on Sunday July 09 2017, @08:03PM
As Axis of Awesome demonstrated [youtube.com], you just need to follow one of a few very simple 4-chord patterns, and boom, you have a hit pop song. And as was also demonstrated by a documentary entitled Before the Music Dies, you don't even have to be able to sing [youtube.com].
The only thing that stops a bad guy with a compiler is a good guy with a compiler.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 09 2017, @08:18PM (1 child)
It tells a story.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 09 2017, @09:13PM
http://www.metrolyrics.com/castle-on-the-hill-lyrics-ed-sheeran.html [metrolyrics.com]
When I was six years old I broke my leg
I was running from my brother and his friends
(Score: 3, Insightful) by Bot on Sunday July 09 2017, @08:28PM
The secrets of winning the lottery.
1. buy tickets. The more the better
2. store them in a safe place, remember their location
3. pay attention to the lottery winning numbers and compare carefully
4. if match found, you won, do nothing for a week, then contact trusted lawyer (o wait) and cash in.
What is left out from the analysis is whether is worth it to try and write the summer song. Hint, it is not. Do your stuff, if something ends up popular you get chewed by the system until it deems you are more worthy dead than alive.
Account abandoned.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 09 2017, @08:39PM (1 child)
We used to be young once...
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 09 2017, @09:14PM
http://www.metrolyrics.com/castle-on-the-hill-lyrics-ed-sheeran.html [metrolyrics.com]
I was younger then, take me back to when
(Score: 2) by Joe Desertrat on Sunday July 09 2017, @09:21PM
Just make sure it has a video with girls dancing on the beach in bikinis or girls in shorts getting in a convertible to go to the beach and dance in bikinis.
(Score: 2) by krishnoid on Sunday July 09 2017, @10:34PM (1 child)
No 'summer' in the name, but does it also help if it's a one-hit wonder [youtube.com]?
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday July 09 2017, @11:07PM
Summer, Sometimes
Charlotte Sometimes - How I Could Just Kill A Man [youtube.com]
(Score: 2) by Snotnose on Sunday July 09 2017, @11:00PM
the Guardians of the Galaxy soundtrack was so huge a couple years back.
Relationship status: Available for curbside pickup.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 10 2017, @12:26AM
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feel_Good_Hit_of_the_Summer [wikipedia.org]
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 10 2017, @04:17AM
Spitting Image presented the Chicken Song as a quintessential summer hit:
It’s the time of year, now that Spring is in the air,
When those two wet gits, with their girly, curly hair,
Make another song for moronic holidays,
That nauseate hate, hate in a million different ways,
From the shores of Spain, to the coast of Southern France,
No matter where you hide, you just can’t escape this dance…
Hold a chicken in the air, stick a deckchair up your nose,
Buy a jumbo jet, and then bury all your clothes!
Paint your left knee green, then extract your wisdom teeth,
Form a string quartet, and pretend your name is Keith!
Skin yourself alive, learn to speak Arapahoe,
Climb inside a dog, and behead an Eskimo!
Eat a Renault Four, with salami in your ears,
Casserole your Gran, disembowel yourself with spears!
The disco is vibrating, the sound is loud and grating,
It’s truly nauseating, let's do the dance again!
Hold a chicken in the air, stick a deckchair up your nose,
Yes; you'll hear this song in the holiday discos!
And there's no escape, in the clubs or in the bars,
You would hear this song, if you holidayed in Mars!
Skin yourself alive, learn to speak Arapahoe,
Climb inside a dog, and behead an Eskimo!
Now you've heard it once, your brain will spring a leak,
And though you hate this song, you'll be humming it for weeks!
Hold a chicken in the air, stick a deckchair up your nose,
Buy a jumbo jet, and then bury all your clothes...
La la la la la...
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 10 2017, @01:26PM
And they are saying that now? ;-)