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On a slow news day, the BBC "reports" some rules about a summer hit tune. In summary:
- It has to be simple.
- It should make you feel like you're on holiday.
- Novelty is everything.
- Radio-friendly songs make bigger hits.
- It should be released before the summer.
- But it should have the word "summer" in the title.
If simplicity and novelty are the most important then this summer's hit could be Beep! Beep! I'm A Sheep!
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(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday July 10 2017, @04:17AM
Spitting Image presented the Chicken Song as a quintessential summer hit:
It’s the time of year, now that Spring is in the air,
When those two wet gits, with their girly, curly hair,
Make another song for moronic holidays,
That nauseate hate, hate in a million different ways,
From the shores of Spain, to the coast of Southern France,
No matter where you hide, you just can’t escape this dance…
Hold a chicken in the air, stick a deckchair up your nose,
Buy a jumbo jet, and then bury all your clothes!
Paint your left knee green, then extract your wisdom teeth,
Form a string quartet, and pretend your name is Keith!
Skin yourself alive, learn to speak Arapahoe,
Climb inside a dog, and behead an Eskimo!
Eat a Renault Four, with salami in your ears,
Casserole your Gran, disembowel yourself with spears!
The disco is vibrating, the sound is loud and grating,
It’s truly nauseating, let's do the dance again!
Hold a chicken in the air, stick a deckchair up your nose,
Yes; you'll hear this song in the holiday discos!
And there's no escape, in the clubs or in the bars,
You would hear this song, if you holidayed in Mars!
Skin yourself alive, learn to speak Arapahoe,
Climb inside a dog, and behead an Eskimo!
Now you've heard it once, your brain will spring a leak,
And though you hate this song, you'll be humming it for weeks!
Hold a chicken in the air, stick a deckchair up your nose,
Buy a jumbo jet, and then bury all your clothes...
La la la la la...