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I'm usually not much of a writer, but by a strange and incredible turn of fate, I have a lot of time on my hands now.
Just the other day, my boss (a petite brunette with perky breasts and a great ass) called me in to her office, telling me she wanted to have a discussion. I knew what that meant, since she was always walking by my desk shaking that sweet ass in front of me. especially after the look of lust she gave me the day before when I slapped it as she walked by.
So finally, after three weeks, I was finally going to get a taste of of that hot bitch!
I went into her office, closed the door and drew the venetian blinds that looked out into the bullpen where us peons sat.
She looked up and said, "Please sit down. I hope you don't mind if I record our interaction." Sweet! Now she wants to make porn with me, I started getting quite sexually aroused as she started the webcam.
I said, "You look so hot today baby! I've been looking forward to this from the moment I met you, you sexy little ho!"
She replied, "I understand. It's was inevitable, almost from the day you started working here. And finally the moment has come."
I got up and started opening my pants. She slid back from her desk as I dropped my pants and began pulling down my underwear. "I've been wanting to get between those sexy legs so bad!" I said, starting to breathe heavily.
She stopped me by saying, "This isn't the right place for this."
I agreed, "Let's go into the ladies room so I can bend you over the sink, you sexy slut!"
My boss had other ideas. She said, "I've reserved a conference room for us, so put your pants back on and let's go."
That sexy bitch didn't have to ask twice! The image of her spread-eagled on the conference table was making me so hot!
We exited her office and walked down the hall toward the large conference room adjacent to the HR department. I checked my phone to make sure I had enough free space to video the "coming" encounter, just like she wanted.
We entered the conference room and I was surprised to see two burly security guards already there. I said, "Wow, honey! All three of us at once? You do love the cock, don't you?"
My boss paled a little. Obviously, all her blood was going to her loins, in expectation of the fun to come.
"We're just waiting on Leslie now," my boss said, referring to the head of HR. Today really was my lucky day! I was going to get to fuck both of those hot babes!
"Woo-hoo!" I exclaimed as Leslie walked in, looking sexier than ever. I started unbuttoning my shirt, when the security guards grabbed me and forced me into a chair at one end of the conference table and stood over me.
I said, "Ooh! bondage games! I love those! let's see those sweet pussies, girls!"
The women sat down at the other end of the table and then the meeting took a turn I never expected.
As I said, I have a lot of time on my hands now. Which is good, because both of those hot bitches are definitely going to call me soon!
(Score: 3, Funny) by realDonaldTrump on Monday September 04 2017, @08:31AM
Love the story! It reminds me of the time when .@CaitrionaPerry, who has a perfect ass, came in my office.
(Score: 2) by fliptop on Monday September 04 2017, @11:32AM
Never dip your pen in the company ink.
To be oneself, and unafraid whether right or wrong, is more admirable than the easy cowardice of surrender to conformity
(Score: 2) by http on Monday September 04 2017, @05:22PM (4 children)
It's a real shame that getting kneed in the balls doesn't fix misanthropy. I'd say 'get help', but your victims are going to need it more.
I'm hoping you die in a car crash.
I browse at -1 when I have mod points. It's unsettling.
(Score: 4, Informative) by NotSanguine on Monday September 04 2017, @06:06PM (3 children)
Gosh, why loose your venom on me? I'm just god's gift to women. Even your girlfriend said our time together was the best 18 seconds of her life!
Oh and by the way, are you familiar with Poe's Law [wikipedia.org]? As it, apparently, applies in spades to you.
No, no, you're not thinking; you're just being logical. --Niels Bohr
(Score: 3, Insightful) by aristarchus on Tuesday September 05 2017, @07:41AM (2 children)
Oh, now we see why you are Not Sanguine! For surely you know that satire like this has no place on SoylentNews! We have tuns of Redpillars, their pillars running red with the results of failed attempts to understand the fairer sex, and so they resort to self-abuse. (Sorry, if it bleeds, it's self-abuse). And we have the Men's Rights Arseholes, not brave enough to be gay, but not smart enough to understand that lifelong relationships with other human beings is not a business transaction. Sociopaths, gone all rapey in the face of their own unsuitability for genetic furtherance. God, that must suck, and when it sucks, it amounts to nothing. Spades, NotSanguine, you have spades in spades. I hope that someone gets arrested for being in arrears in child-support in your honor, and I especially hope it is Joe Wilson. Could not happen to a nicer alt-right cuck.
(Did I mention that all alt-righters are in fact cuck-cumbers? True! We have the stats! )
(Score: 4, Insightful) by NotSanguine on Tuesday September 05 2017, @07:57AM (1 child)
Oh Aristarchus! I've been following your woes with moderation, and I understand your frustration.
However, this is just an Internet discussion site. As such, I'll give you a bit of unsolicited advice: Don't take the folks here (or yourself) so seriously.
If you find folks who don't have much of a sense of humor or views you find repugnant, so what?
As an example, http [soylentnews.org] apparently was unable to distinguish satirical (and somewhat puerile) fiction from reality. Does that bother me? Not in the slightest. He (she?) actually made me a "Foe" [soylentnews.org] as a result of my journal entry and response to their comment wishing me harm.
Does that bother me? Not at all. In fact, I made http [soylentnews.org] my newest (and only) "friend" [soylentnews.org] to show that I have no hard feelings.
I'd also suggest that you apply Hanlon's Razor [wikipedia.org] quite liberally.and consider George Carlin's musings on intelligence [goodreads.com] and recognize the situation for what it is.
If you do, I suspect you'll be much less stressed and in better humor. Just sayin'.
No, no, you're not thinking; you're just being logical. --Niels Bohr
(Score: 3, Informative) by aristarchus on Tuesday September 05 2017, @08:24AM
We understand each other perfectly, bro! Expect a friend request post haste.