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posted by Fnord666 on Friday January 12 2018, @06:14PM   Printer-friendly
from the parliamentarians-are-people-too dept.

Submitted via IRC for TheMightyBuzzard

Porn streaming sites were accessed from UK parliament 24,000 times in six months, figures have shown.

I'm torn between making a "bunch of wankers" joke and castigating them for being underachievers.

Source: https://www.rt.com/uk/415259-porn-stream-sex-parliament/


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  • (Score: 1, Insightful) by Anonymous Coward on Friday January 12 2018, @06:29PM (6 children)

    by Anonymous Coward on Friday January 12 2018, @06:29PM (#621478)

    I'm torn between making a "bunch of wankers" joke and castigating them for being underachievers.

    Shirley this is evidence they are both!

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  • (Score: 4, Funny) by jelizondo on Friday January 12 2018, @06:36PM

    by jelizondo (653) on Friday January 12 2018, @06:36PM (#621483)

    Stop calling me Shirley

    :-)

  • (Score: 5, Insightful) by DannyB on Friday January 12 2018, @07:13PM (4 children)

    by DannyB (5839) Subscriber Badge on Friday January 12 2018, @07:13PM (#621495)

    Surely they are overachievers, Shirley, if they can access pr0n 24,000 times in six months. That's 133.33 accesses per day (for 180 daze), 7 days a week. Now spread 133 accesses per day into a portion of the hours of the day when they would be wanking, how many wanks per day, and for how many members of parliament. And make assumptions about the number of minutes each access lasts (and megabytes streamed).

    From Snowden, we know that NSA was spying on Parliament, because, uh . . . NSA knew there would be a high probability of catching terrorists there. Or blackmale victims that NSA could leverage later.

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    • (Score: 4, Interesting) by edIII on Friday January 12 2018, @07:32PM (2 children)

      by edIII (791) Subscriber Badge on Friday January 12 2018, @07:32PM (#621502)

      133 accesses?

      What constitutes an access though? If that's loading up a video, a single wank session might involve many videos before you find *that* video that makes you blink. All the javascript in the page is surely accessing it many more times per page load. If that is 133 wanking sessions per day... those people need to be studied, then treated for what is surely some serious callouses on their hands, and epic chaffing of the willy.

      On another note, I'm reminded of that movie There's Something About Mary. Maybe we don't want politicians discussing things like war, surveillance, etc. all stressed out. They may start their day out as wankers, but it may be safer for the rest of us :)

      • (Score: 2) by DannyB on Friday January 12 2018, @07:46PM

        by DannyB (5839) Subscriber Badge on Friday January 12 2018, @07:46PM (#621509)

        Powerful people probably have (Parliament) interns [pip-psp.org] or (US congress) page boys [wikipedia.org]1 [wikipedia.org]2 [wikipedia.org] who get the callouses on their hands.

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      • (Score: 4, Informative) by bzipitidoo on Friday January 12 2018, @11:47PM

        by bzipitidoo (4388) on Friday January 12 2018, @11:47PM (#621614) Journal

        > Maybe we don't want politicians discussing things like war, surveillance, etc. all stressed out.

        Or hard up? Let them look all they want! Keep them happy and as far away as possible from Dr. Strangelove's plan: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c8L8NopVwdg&t=3m56s [youtube.com]

    • (Score: 2) by fritsd on Friday January 12 2018, @10:16PM

      by fritsd (4586) on Friday January 12 2018, @10:16PM (#621581) Journal

      I doubt your 180 dizzy days.
      I googled "how many days is the uk parliament in session" and got
      http://researchbriefings.parliament.uk/ResearchBriefing/Summary/SN04653 [parliament.uk]
      which showed approx. 150 days / year.
      So 75 sessions in half a year, 320 accesses per day
      Unless they surf for pr0n on the other 25*5-75 = 55 days. Then it's 436 accesses per day.