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tl;dr: I got blown and therefore regard this evening's extracurricular activity to have been a success.
There was even a woman there - attractive even - but I had the sense she wasn't looking for anything but a romantic night with her man.
That's not always the case. It's common for women to enjoy fornicating in front of an audience. On very rare occasion, women turn up who want to do the dirty with every last man in the place.
I was disappointed at first, I expect because the superbowl had Portland's degenerates otherwise occupied. I did not at first see the woman as she and her man were behind an oddly out of place wooden structure. I figured the management used that for storage. But this evening I noticed a man enter it through the door. It was then that I realized the structure consisted of six Glory Hole Booths.
In pornographic motion picture theaters men often have totally meaningless, anonymous sex with each other. With the aid of a glory hole one can get it on with a complete stranger without obtaining the first clue as to what one's partner even looks like.
After receiving fellatio I went across the street to a really high-end tea shop. There were many kinds of high-class teas to choose from but I wasnt really in the mood to decide which among them would get brewed for my cup.
"What would you like?"
"Surprise me with your favorite."
"Caffeine ot no caffeine?"
"Caffeine."
From time to time I ask a restaurant waitress to surprise me. They always have the same reaction as did the guy on Star Trek when Spock said to him "I am lying". So I was quite delighted that the barista was into it.
Without a doubt she gave me a cup of uncommonly exotic tea but it was everything I could do to drink all of it. It really tasted foul. I am absolutely serious. It was like that fancy coffee whose beans are fed to weasels or some such, then collected from that weasel's turds when it is to be brewed.
I Am Absolutely Serious.
But drink it I did because I did not want my barista to be disappointed or insulted. It tasted better to me after I drank about half the cup.
I debated whether I should go home or go back to the theater. Really I should have gone home, but one has unlimited re-entry all day long and I did not want that valuable commodity to go to waste.
Back in the theater I shook hands with William Jefferson Clinton for a little while but realized I just wasn't into it anymore and so went home.
Portland's Oregon Theater is quite a long way from where I live. I can easily get there on the bus and the light rail, but it's two hours each way.
There is a video shop that is far closer, that is also equipped with glory holes in all but one of its video booth. The booth without the glory hole is quite large and contains a desk.
Yes: a desk. Just like what your keyboard rests on when you're at work. I remain puzzled by that one.
No chair though.
Upon arriving home I had a couple slices of 7-Eleven pizza. That is damn near the cheapest pizza known to Man but it's so much less expensive than Domino's that I can set aside its inferior crust and take gustatory delight that I am saving so much money that I could go to the porno theater TWICE with the money I save.
The 7-Eleven cashier doesn't even expect a tip. How cool is that?
(Score: 1, Offtopic) by MichaelDavidCrawford on Monday February 05 2018, @08:27AM (1 child)
- Ball?
Some guy was standing right in front of the screen while chatting with his hallucination. He was also fiddling with a beach ball?
I Am Absolutely Serious: a beach ball. Who brings a beach ball to a porno theater?
I also forgot to describe the projection. All but a very very few porn theaters use video projectors to show DVDs. It is extremely rare for photographic film movies to be shown anymore. The video projection is always quite poor compared to film. Surely they still have all those prints archived somewhere? How hard would it be to bring them out into the light of day - so to speak - then show them?
There was a large brown spot in the middle of the projection. I expect that was the result of the projector overheating. The contrast is quite poor, but the theater tries to compensate by turning the brightness way up.
This leads to an oddly abstract quality to the fornication. The background, pieces of furniture, the walls and floor are entirely white. The actor and actresses are extremely pale. I thought at first to describe it as appearing that they were making love during an arctic whiteout, but it works better to say that this is what it must look like for the immortal souls of the dearly departed to get it on in Heaven.
To my great dismay most of the theaters only show what are known as "all action" flicks. I regard these as even less fascinating than watching grass grow. But there is a video shop in Seaside California that has a small theater where they show videos that actually have a plot.
RLY: porn movies often have real plots.
One time they were showing "Not The Cosby's". Doctor Cosby is a gynecologist who hires is son to assist him at his clinic. The son is quite stoked about this but the first patient whose private parts he gets to see complains to the doctor of a yellow discharge. He prescribes antibiotics.
But doctor cosby is strangely absent when the next patient shows up. She is quite cute and I'd love to see more of her but I never have. She and Cosby The Younger get it on there in the exam room.
I think the "Not the" parodies are a Hustler product. Other than that they have a real plot I'm not particularly into parodies. You soylentils might enjoy Not Star Trek though.
Most of the seating consists of couches rather than chairs. I expect that's done to encourage hookups. But there was some guy stretched out on a couch and dead asleep. The ten-dollar admission is good for the entire day or evening and so would work well for the somewhat wealthier homeless people to have a place to crash.
Yes I Have No Bananas. [gofundme.com]
(Score: 1, Interesting) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday February 06 2018, @01:45AM
Star Trek porn sounds like it might be worth a shot. I was able to find a video from the usual sources called "This Ain't Star Trek" that claims to be Hustler.
I've never been to a pornographic theater since I don't generally find porn arousing. Your recent entries have been interesting reads.