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posted by Fnord666 on Saturday February 17 2018, @10:37AM   Printer-friendly
from the maybe-stop-looking-down-at-your-phone dept.

Employees are injuring themselves by walking into the glass walls of Apple's fancy new headquarters:

The centerpiece of Apple Inc.'s new headquarters is a massive, ring-shaped office overflowing with panes of glass, a testament to the company's famed design-obsessed aesthetic.

There's been one hiccup since it opened last year: Apple employees keep smacking into the glass.

Surrounding the Cupertino, California-based building are 45-foot tall curved panels of safety glass. Inside are work spaces, dubbed "pods," also made with a lot of glass. Apple staff are often glued to the iPhones they helped popularize. That's resulted in repeated cases of distracted employees walking into the panes, according to people familiar with the incidents.

Some staff started to stick Post-It notes on the glass doors to mark their presence. However, the notes were removed because they detracted from the building's design, the people said. They asked not to be identified discussing anything related to Apple. Another person familiar with the situation said there are other markings to identify the glass.

What kind of markings? Bloodstains?

Also at TechCrunch and MarketWatch.


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  • (Score: 2, Interesting) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday February 17 2018, @11:37AM (5 children)

    by Anonymous Coward on Saturday February 17 2018, @11:37AM (#639297)

    Make a location-aware app for the phones that warns you if you're about to run into a door. The doors would have to transmit open or closed status.

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  • (Score: 4, Funny) by acid andy on Saturday February 17 2018, @11:59AM

    by acid andy (1683) on Saturday February 17 2018, @11:59AM (#639309) Homepage Journal

    The doors would have to transmit open or closed status.

    Without using any Indian characters [soylentnews.org].

    --
    If a cat has kittens, does a rat have rittens, a bat bittens and a mat mittens?
  • (Score: 5, Funny) by VLM on Saturday February 17 2018, @03:15PM (3 children)

    by VLM (445) on Saturday February 17 2018, @03:15PM (#639351)

    Hook up some AI to the infinite number of security cams and have Alexa or whatever apple's weak clone is, her name's sarah or something, yell at people about to walk into walls. Given the God-like all knowing all seeing all controlling technical architecture, you could tap right into people's bluetooth headphones if necessary to yell at them.

    Eventually people are going to be able to do weird shit that's quite useless in normal life but technologically interesting. Given AI good enough to drive a car, you should be able to close your eyes while walking down a busy street. There's been a lot of "Internet of I'm a thing" where people get called biohackers or something similar glorious for merely implanting a magnet or COTS livestock RFID capsule in their fingers or whatever. The logical next step is hacking NMES physiotherapy machines such that you put on Apple iYogaPants and the embedded NMES wiring operates your muscles to make your legs walk. I wonder how little upper body coordination you could get away with in terms of wiring up the Apple iShirt such that your phone could take you for a walk down a crowded street while you're literally asleep. From talking to a dude at the gym who underwent NMES therapy with a PT for a recovery after some kinda surgical muscle injury thing (didn't really want the gross details) it might be too stimulating to sleep thru, but then again look at American opiate and alcohol consumption maybe SOME people could sleep thru it. I would imagine the military finds this concept interesting assuming either I'm not googling correctly or its classified to hell and back, although it seems pretty obvious in the sense of "exploiting known atomic forces to make a big ass bomb" as a general concept was pretty obvious to at least some of the public in the 1930s.

    Imagine the comedy of getting a nice virus infection in your Apple iYogaPants, pay 0.001 bitcoin in ransom or your NMES iYogaPants will twerk you to death whenever you're near facebook friends so as to embarrass you. Or pay 0.001 BTC for illegal iYogaPants unlicensed software and it'll give you an electrical stimulation orgasm. Or pay 0.001 BTC to disable the virus that electrically stimulates your pants to give you orgasms at totally random times, which might be kinda fun the first few times but would get old real fast. That might be an interesting solution to the "walking into glass walls" thing, I was gonna walk into that glass wall three seconds from now, but suddenly I'm REALLY distracted...

    • (Score: 2) by pvanhoof on Saturday February 17 2018, @04:03PM

      by pvanhoof (4638) on Saturday February 17 2018, @04:03PM (#639359) Homepage

      Aldous, is that you? Is this the first chapter of a follow up on your book?

    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday February 17 2018, @05:07PM

      by Anonymous Coward on Saturday February 17 2018, @05:07PM (#639368)

      Hook up some AI to the infinite number of security cams and have Alexa or whatever apple's weak clone is, her name's sarah or something, yell at people about to walk into walls. Given the God-like all knowing all seeing all controlling technical architecture, you could tap right into people's bluetooth headphones if necessary to yell at them.

      Or, better still, use all that AI power to predict far enough ahead that it can send a text to everyone else in the immediate area. "Come watch a moron walk into a glass wall! *Thud* predicted in 14 seconds!"

      Figure out a way to extend that to 30 seconds with false positive (no *thud*) and false negative (unreported *thud*) rates below 25% and I'd pay a few bucks a month for that service.

    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday February 18 2018, @04:11AM

      by Anonymous Coward on Sunday February 18 2018, @04:11AM (#639589)

      "Alexa or whatever apple's weak clone is, her name's sarah or something"

      Siri. It means "ass" (尻) in Japanese. I laugh my 尻 off when Japanese people interact with their iPhones.