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Some people are scared because they've historically been demonized and brutalized -- not online, not with words, but with bats and knives and guns. And now that gay/tranny/other non-majority folks aren't being frightened into silence, they are still afraid and want to make sure that doesn't happen any more.

Some people are scared because the folks, who used to be beaten into silence by a small minority of violent scumbags, aren't so silent anymore.

And while they wouldn't go out and beat these people to death, they think they may be a bad influence or that they are trying to impose their beliefs onto them. Or even worse, that they will be judged and found wanting in some "meaningful" way by those whose concept of appropriateness differs from theirs.

The rest of us are caught in the middle.

Personally, I'd rather see these codes of conduct be quite simple. Perhaps something along the lines of Wheaton's Law [knowyourmeme.com].

I don't (and won't) reject quality software projects just because they adopt a code of conduct, as its the software that's important, not the personalities of those who are involved.

Rather, I take the position that Heinlein [wikiquote.org] put forth quite succinctly:

I will accept any rules that you feel necessary to your freedom. I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do.

If my words or actions are found to be offensive to some, I can't control that. I can only control what I say and do. And I have no interest in trying to tell others what specific things they should or shouldn't do. Again, Heinlein [goodreads.com] is quite succinct about this:

The correct way to punctuate a sentence that states: "Of course it is none of my business, but -- " is to place a period after the word "but." Don't use excessive force in supplying such a moron with a period. Cutting his throat is only a momentary pleasure and is bound to get you talked about.

I am not telling anyone to do anything specific, rather I'm laying out my thoughts on this, somewhat fraught (I'm not sure why), subject. My hope is that it will spur thought and perhaps even discussion.