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Arthur T Knackerbracket has found the following story:
An elderly man's flatulence forced his flight to make an emergency stop after a fight broke out over his barrage of bottom burps.
Passengers flying with budget Dutch airline Transavia from Dubai to Amsterdam were reportedly put out by the man's continued farting, and asked him to stop.
But the man failed to hold it in, and when even a direct order from the pilot didn't take the wind out of his sails, two particularly incensed passengers took matters into their own hands.
Local media reported that two Dutchmen sat next to the trumper started a fight with the man, which escalated to the point where the pilot was forced to make an unscheduled stop.
On landing in Vienna, armed police boarded the plane to remove the men who caused the ruckus, along with two sisters who were seated next to them.
Also covered at The Straits Times.
(Score: 5, Insightful) by c0lo on Friday February 23 2018, @08:44AM (27 children)
Ok, eating something that don'r cause gases before the flight as a preventative measure, this I could understand (even if one can't exclude the food on board may have caused it)
But once the thing started, what could the poor guy do, explode while trying to retain an amount of gas that managed to "scent" the entire plane?
Lock himself in the toilet for hours on end, risking panic and accusations of attempted terrorism once the door is forcefully opened?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoFiw2jMy-0
(Score: 2, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 23 2018, @08:49AM (6 children)
I can only afford to eat beans and fly in economy seating.
(Score: 2, Disagree) by c0lo on Friday February 23 2018, @08:53AM (4 children)
Don't ever travel LA to Sydney, there's no airport in between for unscheduled stops.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoFiw2jMy-0
(Score: 2, Funny) by realDonaldTrump on Friday February 23 2018, @05:11PM (3 children)
When looking for Waikiki hotels, Trump International Hotel Waikiki offers superior accommodations, location, and service. Out of all the hotels in Waikiki, this five-star hotel will surpass all expectations and make your trip worthwhile.
(Score: 2) by c0lo on Sunday February 25 2018, @10:10PM (2 children)
Sounds enticing.
How much do I have to fart to get the presidential suite?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoFiw2jMy-0
(Score: 2) by realDonaldTrump on Monday February 26 2018, @12:03AM (1 child)
You want our Penthouse Suite. Hugh Hefner, wonderful friend, a true ladies' man. I got so much pussy when I knew him, he always had extra ladies for me. RIP!! But we don't call this one the Playboy Suite -- I just thought of that, I like the sound of that, maybe we'll call it that -- it's the Penthouse Suite. And our rates start at $3735 American per night. For a quick stop. You stay a few nights -- 3 or more -- we can get you a break. A discount from that. Believe me, it's a very fair price. For the best rooms at a 5-star hotel, on an island in the Pacific. And you can tell your friends you stayed at a Trump hotel, at the best hotel in Hawaii. They'll be very impressed. Call +1-877-683-7401 or +1-808-683-7777, or visit our website to make your reservation. www.trumphotels.com/waikiki [trumphotels.com]
(Score: 2) by c0lo on Monday February 26 2018, @03:48AM
Nope, I want the presidential suite. The one in which if one stays, he gets to be elected POTUS.
To that big fucker, respects! RIP.
But see what your Penthouse Suite got him?
(large grin)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoFiw2jMy-0
(Score: 4, Funny) by kazzie on Friday February 23 2018, @09:34AM
If you eat enough beans, you'll be able to fly without needing an aeroplane!
(Score: 2, Disagree) by Rivenaleem on Friday February 23 2018, @08:51AM (10 children)
Farts can be held in, and the gasses will dissolve and be absorbed by the body to no ill effects. You won't explode.
(Score: 1, Insightful) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 23 2018, @09:26AM (4 children)
No, they won't. No more than you can hold your pee. It just builds up. More and more.
This is one war you will not win.
The more you fight, the louder the release will be.
Better to have lots of little pfft's than one loud trumpet blast.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 23 2018, @10:27AM (3 children)
If you hold on long enough, they will dissolve through the bowel wall into the bloodstream. Of course they will then come back out of solution at the other blood interface.
Hence the origin of the term Fart-Breath.
(Score: 2, Informative) by shrewdsheep on Friday February 23 2018, @11:54AM (2 children)
Citation needed. This is simply a false belief on how things work. Also the gas would be methane which is odorless. The smell would therefore not be absorbed.
(Score: 4, Informative) by c0lo on Friday February 23 2018, @12:34PM
Most of it will be CO2 and methane - resulted from anaerobic fermentation of incomplete absorption of the carbohydrates in the small intestine.
Excess CO2 - the one of the two that dissolves significantly in water (blood) - in the body causes acidosis [wikipedia.org] - prolonged periods in such a state may lead to lung failure by exhaustion [wikipedia.org]
At 37C, methane has a solubility in water of 0.017g/litre, which means about 0.001mole/litre. So, 5 litres of blood could dissolve 0.005 mole of CH4, which means about 0.1 litres of methane.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoFiw2jMy-0
(Score: 2) by realDonaldTrump on Monday February 26 2018, @12:09AM
Methane, some of our great airlines do the breathalyzer test for methane. And if you have methane on your breath, they put you in the farting section of the plane. We didn't have that when I had Trump Shuttle. But it's a thing now. SCIENCE!!!
(Score: 4, Informative) by c0lo on Friday February 23 2018, @11:44AM
No ill effects, ey? You are delusional, mate. You try to held in the gasses yourself after a heavy meal of beans and we'll speak afterwards.
Ruminants, particularly cows, are prone to bloating on certain feeding conditions - serious cases can kill them in 15 minutes if not resolved - the emergency treatment is puncturing skin, muscle and the rumen wall with a trocar (which is a huge needle) to get the gases out. Here's how the procedure and the trocar looks like [youtu.be]
Now, chemically, the human flesh and beef aren't that different - they should be able to dissolve the same amount of gasses. If what you said would be true, cows would have no problems with bloating.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoFiw2jMy-0
(Score: 3, Interesting) by stormreaver on Friday February 23 2018, @04:34PM
That's absolute nonsense. The body can absorb some of the gases, but there are limits that are easily reached. Past that limit, discomfort results. Further beyond that limit, extreme pain results. Further beyond that limit, bodily harm results.
You won't explode, but holding back lots of gas is not even remotely harmless.
(Score: 2) by realDonaldTrump on Friday February 23 2018, @05:51PM (2 children)
Holding it in can really do a number on your insides. Especially on a plane. Trust me on this one -- I owned an airline. And I fly a lot, I have my own plane. The air pressure on the plane isn't regular air pressure, it's much less. So it makes your insides swell up tremendously.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 23 2018, @11:17PM (1 child)
Could explain why you gained 100lb this year, eh Donny?
(Score: 2) by Wootery on Monday February 26 2018, @10:45AM
Probably just the weight of command.
(Score: 2) by turgid on Friday February 23 2018, @01:39PM (7 children)
Charcoal underpants?
I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent [wikipedia.org].
(Score: 3, Interesting) by c0lo on Friday February 23 2018, @02:16PM (6 children)
Actually, activate charcoal pills [ausnaturalcare.com.au] do work.
I never fly without them: the amount of condiment in on-flight meals is an irritant to my bowels and Australia to Europe has a 14h flight(=3 meals) leg.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoFiw2jMy-0
(Score: 1, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 23 2018, @03:03PM (5 children)
Orally or rectally?
(Score: 1, Informative) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 23 2018, @04:51PM (3 children)
Depends on the size of the pill.
(Score: 2) by realDonaldTrump on Friday February 23 2018, @05:28PM (2 children)
The ones for the ass are the biggest, they're huge. You'd think those would be the small ones, right? Trust me, they're not. And they don't call them pills.
(Score: 2) by fritsd on Friday February 23 2018, @08:55PM (1 child)
What do they call them again... rhymes with "elefants"..
psycho... sicko ...
I give up.
(Score: 2) by realDonaldTrump on Friday February 23 2018, @09:16PM
It's on the tip of my tongue.
(Score: 2) by c0lo on Sunday February 25 2018, @08:46PM
In my pocket, usually that's enough to stop farting.
(grin)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoFiw2jMy-0
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 23 2018, @05:12PM
Did he eat the lutefisk or the steak?