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This has been...a busy week. I've been transferred to the Madison branch of that bakery I started working for, and have spent the last couple of days preparing; I'm now staying in the absolute cheapest hotel I could find whose reviews contained zero instances of the word "bedbug."
A good friend I've mentioned before, Matt, lives in Madison and has been helping me find a place on short notice here. I haven't seen much of the city but I really, really like it compared to Milwaukee. The public transit is even better if you can believe that, people seem much more laid back, and there's lots of early 20th-century buildings near the Capitol that just exude history. It feels almost nostalgic, like a much smaller, nicer NYC in some ways. It's kind of appropriate we'd end up in the same city again considering we went to college together and, i found out then, grew up within a mile of one another.
Not for the first time I find myself thinking "if I were straight, or even the least little bit bisexual, we'd be married." Alas.
Anyway...what got me here? Bagels.
Now, as a born New Yorker, it makes sense I'd have a sort of innate affinity for bagel dough. The stuff just seems to like me, insofar as something that (I truly hope...) isn't sentient or alive in any way save for a bit of yeast can. First attempt at the dough came out feeling just perfect, and my particular method of putting holes in them--take dowel, punch hole in center of 5 oz. dough round, and more or less goatse it apart to around 2 inches, sorry for the mental image--works better than the "roll out a dough snake and pinch the ends" method.
In particular, the Capitol Square holds a farmer's market every Saturday, and people come from miles around and wait hours for specific products. I am told that my bagels have the potential to be one of them, along with a few of the other products the bakery makes. Despite there being at least 3 or 4 hipster-infested coffee shops within 2 blocks of the Capitol building, one of which has the word "bagels" in the name, apparently no one's thought of selling them at the Farmer's Market, which deserves both those capital letters.
Madison seems waaaaay more health-conscious than Milwaukee, so I'm going to try to get permission to make a whole-wheat version (with a pinch of vital gluten) and maybe some vegan bran muffins. Ground flaxseed and water in 1:3 ratio can replace eggs, 4 Tbsp. mix per egg, if you put a tiny bit more baking powder in. Autumn is coming too, which if this place is as hipsterish as I suspect it is, means we can do pumpkin-spice everything and make a killing.
As much fun as all this is, I'd really rather be doing pharmacology, and will see if I can get floated a loan to go through the UW Madison training program (I, along with 4 of every 5 other contenders, did not get in last time through the employment application process). But for a little while this may be fun, in a hardworking, busy, up at 5:30 AM every day kind of way.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday August 15 2018, @12:46AM
If anyone is in a position to put the word in -- please do so... even if just to spare us from the muffin puns!
(Score: 2) by Gaaark on Wednesday August 15 2018, @01:38AM (2 children)
Any of you guys know how to Madison?
Sounds like that place could use a Rocky horror bagel: buy a bagel, get a hot dog to go in it....errr, WITH it.
:)
--- Please remind me if I haven't been civil to you: I'm channeling MDC. ---Gaaark 2.0 ---
(Score: 2) by Freeman on Friday August 17 2018, @06:03PM (1 child)
Sounds like you need a Piggy in a blanket. https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/21780/pigs-in-a-blanket/ [allrecipes.com]
Joshua 1:9 "Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee"
(Score: 2) by Gaaark on Friday August 17 2018, @09:45PM
Does it know how to Madison?
--- Please remind me if I haven't been civil to you: I'm channeling MDC. ---Gaaark 2.0 ---
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday August 15 2018, @02:49AM
Just in case your bakery is thinking of opening up in some other cities, I'd suggest these as similar to Madison. In no particular order: Ithaca NY, Athens OH, maybe Berkeley CA (but very expensive these days), Boulder CO, Burlington VT, Portland OR & ME, Chico, CA, SLO CA. And probably a bunch more small/medium sized college towns that are often islands of intelligence within otherwise ignorant areas.
(Score: 3, Interesting) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday August 15 2018, @03:01AM
> ... take dowel, punch hole in center of 5 oz. dough round, ...
You are making the equivalent of seamless tubing, where a metal slug is warmed and pierced, and then drawn into tubing in multiple stages of drawing dies and heat treatment. This is an energy intensive and time consuming process but gives the best quality tubing.
Compare with lower cost welded tubing (like EMT/electric conduit and low pressure piping) where a flat strip is rolled up into tubular shape and then electric welded continuously--very fast manufacturing. This is a much inferior product, having a weak &/or brittle heat affected zone near the weld. It can be improved to some extent when made with a thicker wall and DOM (drawn over mandrel) to get to the final desired wall thickness, but does not approach the quality available with seamless.
(Score: 3, Interesting) by The Mighty Buzzard on Wednesday August 15 2018, @10:42AM
Dig the retained sense of humor and the quality of your work ethic. Good on yas.
My rights don't end where your fear begins.
(Score: 2) by hendrikboom on Thursday August 16 2018, @12:18AM (2 children)
Flax gives me bloody diarrhea. Please warn customers there's flax in the bagels.
(Score: 4, Informative) by Azuma Hazuki on Thursday August 16 2018, @02:26AM (1 child)
There isn't in the bagels: that stuff is straight-up high-gluten flour, water, yeast, and salt, with a little baking soda and brown sugar in the boiler to get that nice Maillard/alkaline sheen on the outside after baking. They *are* vegan, but the flax is, only potentially, going in one or two lines of muffins.
I am "that girl" your mother warned you about...
(Score: 2) by takyon on Thursday August 16 2018, @06:05AM
Don't forget the opioid warning for the poppy seed line of bagels/muffins:
http://time.com/5360817/poppy-seed-bagel-drug-test/ [time.com]
[SIG] 10/28/2017: Soylent Upgrade v14 [soylentnews.org]
(Score: 3, Funny) by realDonaldTrump on Friday August 17 2018, @12:59AM (1 child)
I don't bake. But I think I'd have a tremendous time if I was working at the bakery. I'd be the guy that puts on the frosting. I'd put my frosting all over those beautiful warm cakes. All over the delicious moist muffins. And all over the tender puffy donuts. Huge loads of creamy white frosting everywhere. Maybe not on the bagels, but, who knows? We don't put frosting on bagels, I've never seen somebody doing that. But, why not? It could be VERY SPECIAL. It could be magnificent!!!
(Score: 3, Funny) by Azuma Hazuki on Sunday August 19 2018, @02:30AM
Shut the fuck up, Donny, you're out of your element =P
I am "that girl" your mother warned you about...
(Score: 1, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday August 23 2018, @11:14PM (1 child)
I'm glad you found a job that makes you happy, but don't leave SN! The right wing trolls are brigading and this place is turning into an echo chamber. It is making Runaway seem like a moderate!
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday August 26 2018, @02:20AM
Hmm, azuma hasn't been around lately, same time the mighty buzzard goes on vacation. Hmmmmm