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My daughter just went to a Drag(on) party (sp???):
literally a pre-wedding party for two guys (and there was a stage drag theater contest).
My questions (being an old guy trying to fit into a new world)
1. Is it husband and wife or husband and husband (wife and wife for lesbians)?
2. Why do people do drag? and why don't they dress that way all the time if they like doing it so much?
3. I knew a 'flaming homo' in Toronto (did not know him well enough to ask questions like this): why do some guys act straight and some so feminine to outright flaming in yo' face?
Will probably remember some other questions later... does anyone have a primer?
Honestly asking.... this is all new to the guy who grew up (small town) saying "Ha...you're a homo!" without really knowing what that meant (when told about a 'circle jerk' i wondered why a bunch of guys would want to do that while thinking about women, lol).
Let the flaming begin!
**A side thought:
In the future there WILL be sex bots:
.....there will also be 'child sex bots' (and will/can child sex bots be made illegal?)... thinking about this is kind of disturbing, but i know it IS coming, sooner or later.
Will something like that take care of a pedo's needs or lead to something worse?
If you had a fully functioning sex-bot that looks/feels real with wonderful AI, would you consider never having a relationship (such as marriage) again or just stick with sex-bot?
If my wife died and i had a bot/AI that was acceptable, i might just stick with it, methinks.
Damn, my mind is going tonight!
(Score: 1) by khallow on Wednesday August 29 2018, @01:04AM (5 children)
Which on that last part, let us note, may be correct. What's missing here is the matter of reasonable expectation. As the other AC replier noted, if Donald Trump walks in a room and demands to be addressed as "God Emperor", then there's no reasonable expectation to call him that (unless he has an army of trigger-happy goons around to make the unreasonable reasonable in order to survive).
There isn't automatically a reasonable expectation set up merely because someone insists on a particular set of gender pronouns (or any other characteristic mentioned so far in this thread), particularly, if the set is unique and hard to remember.
One thing to note here is that a strategy for dealing with this is to play a different game. Open racists do this all the time. There's too often merely talk of why these are bad people and little talk of why the strategy works (namely, because the social costs of being acceptable to a group with picky standards can be higher than the social costs of their displeasure).
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday August 29 2018, @02:54AM (4 children)
It's more reasonable to take someone's word on their gender than on a title (doctor, lawyer, general, emperor, god, etc.), especially if the title imposes some subordinate status to you (call me daddy, master, boss, sire, etc.).
What really changes if they are "wrong" about their gender anyway? Besides the awkwardness of following a conversation when they clearly mean something different when they say "she", what is so bothersome that it is equivalent to calling the "God Emperor"?
"play a different game"
It's the same game, just a different in-group with different social norms. You do bring up the obvious conclusion for when you don't respect the individual enough or care about others who share the same in-group: join another group. In your example, this would be the racist making the minority and minority-sympathizers an out-group and joining the openly racist social group.
(Score: 1) by khallow on Wednesday August 29 2018, @12:26PM (2 children)
Generally, but not always. Part of the reason complaints exist in the first place is the demand for exotic gender pronouns (like here [wikipedia.org]) that are difficult to remember and at best would apply to a small number of people.
Except that makes the game different. For example, due to those different social norms one no longer needs to care about exotic gender pronouns.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday August 29 2018, @05:10PM (1 child)
Your problem is not that they're "wrong" about their gender, but that they ask to be called something that isn't intuitive to you and/or difficult to remember (non-typical pronouns)?
I feel you pain a bit on that because I'm horrible at remembering names. Names are, obviously, non-intuitive semi-unique identifiers that people are expected to remember in social settings. It's simple enough to just avoid speaking about people I don't remember or use much more general pronouns when they come up in conversation. I haven't actually interacted with someone preferring anything other than the normal pronouns (he, she, they) in person. How many times has this happened to you?
Besides our confusion over the word "game", we both understand that social groups have different norms/rules and that one of the ultimate consequences of not following norms is rejection.
(Score: 1) by khallow on Thursday August 30 2018, @04:09AM
Indeed. It's important to note that there are significant cognitive constraints that make remembering a lot of gender or other preferences hard. For most people, they appear and behave in a way characteristic of their preferred gender (of the traditional two). That makes it easy to remember their preferred gender.
I'm not going to wait till it's my turn at the rhetorical or public theater guillotine before I start complaining about this particular thing.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday August 29 2018, @12:30PM
No, narcissism is about control and social dominance, don't let them through your interpersonal boundaries, don't subordinate yourself by accepting fantastical delusions.