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By mid-afternoon Tuesday of this last week I was completely convinced that my only hope was to go on Social Security Disability Insurance (SSDI).

However, starting early Wednesday morning I wrote a few Walls Of Text. While at first I made lots of unconscious word substitutions, eventually those cleared up.

A couple hours I recorded myself reading out loud the last section of Living with Schizoaffective Disorder. I repeatedly substituted just one word and mispronounced a few others. Later this morning I'll record myself reading the whole thing, each section in a separate file then will compare my first attempt at that last section with my second.

Whether I qualify for SSDI and how much I would get both depend quite a lot on when my disability commenced. I will argue that it was in May 2010, and could come up with documentation for that in the form of shrink and mental hospital records.

To apply, one needs to have been employed a certain minimum number of calendar quarters for the ten years preceding the onset of one's disability. One's payout is based on the average over those ten years.

I earned oodles of money from 2000 through 2008, so I'd be set for life if I can demonstrated that my onset was really in 2010. I have some reason to believe that in late May of that year I left my witch doctor a voice mail in the form of Word Salad, an exceedingly rare symptom of Psychosis. His receptionist replied also with a voice mail; clearly she was unable to understand what I said, but recommended that I admit myself, which I actually did.

But the Social Security Administration will argue that it would have been on the day I applied - Wednesday.

To be approved for Disability at all depends on the report from a doctor that the SSA will send me to (and pay for themselves). Whether that doctor supports my claim will depend on whether my Broca's Aphasia - also called Expressive Aphasia - is giving me trouble that particular day.