Yup, that's what did my marriage in: poor communication. That and our different ways of handling our anger. I would become visibly angry, but generally keep it to myself and in a day or so, it would subside as I sorted it out in my head. Her? I could always tell; she would stop talking to me. But I (foolishly) thought she would process it the same as I did. NOPE. She never let go of it. We almost NEVER fought.
Then out of the blue comes the "we need to go to marriage counseling". Huh? Okay... find out it is mostly her baggage. But in the end, it was nothing I could have done. In retrospect, I should have dragged out of her what had put a burr under her saddle and dealt with it. What was it? I had said NO to a second child. I get that it's an important thing for a mother, but dammit a child needs to have both parents on board with the idea, right?
Oh, we get along fine now, we mostly keep to ourselves except for things involving our son. I do help her out, and vice versa. Heck, I'd take her back if she'd ever ask me (that will almost certainly never happen however).
-- The world is full of kings and queens who blind your eyes and steal your dreams.
Children, thus numbers thereof, are a huge thing in long-term relationships. Super-happy my partner is exactly as 100% childfree as I am. Genetically, it's a terrible trait to have, but we can live with that - being a slave to genetics isn't really being yourself anyway.
-- Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people; the smallest discuss themselves
(Score: 3, Informative) by cmdrklarg on Friday August 02 2019, @08:27PM (1 child)
Yup, that's what did my marriage in: poor communication. That and our different ways of handling our anger. I would become visibly angry, but generally keep it to myself and in a day or so, it would subside as I sorted it out in my head. Her? I could always tell; she would stop talking to me. But I (foolishly) thought she would process it the same as I did. NOPE. She never let go of it. We almost NEVER fought.
Then out of the blue comes the "we need to go to marriage counseling". Huh? Okay... find out it is mostly her baggage. But in the end, it was nothing I could have done. In retrospect, I should have dragged out of her what had put a burr under her saddle and dealt with it. What was it? I had said NO to a second child. I get that it's an important thing for a mother, but dammit a child needs to have both parents on board with the idea, right?
Oh, we get along fine now, we mostly keep to ourselves except for things involving our son. I do help her out, and vice versa. Heck, I'd take her back if she'd ever ask me (that will almost certainly never happen however).
The world is full of kings and queens who blind your eyes and steal your dreams.
(Score: 3, Insightful) by FatPhil on Sunday August 04 2019, @12:09PM
Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people; the smallest discuss themselves