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posted by martyb on Saturday September 07 2019, @05:44AM   Printer-friendly
from the "Long-Pig" dept.

A Swedish behavioral scientist has suggested that it may be necessary to turn to cannibalism and start eating humans in order to save the planet.

Appearing on Swedish television to talk about an event based around the "food of the future," Magnus Söderlund said he would be holding seminars on the necessity of consuming human flesh in order to stop climate change.

Environmentalists blame the meat and farming industry for a large part of what they claim is the warming of the earth.

According to Söderlund, a potential fix would be the Soylent Green-solution of eating dead bodies instead.

https://summit.news/2019/09/04/swedish-behavioral-scientist-suggests-eating-humans-to-save-the-planet/

[Ed note: At first I was going to give this story a pass and then, well... this site is called SoylentNews said name being tangentially related to Soylent Green and the tag line is: "SoylentNews is people", so it only goes to follow that you are what you eat, right? Feel free to comment seriously, but I'm quite frankly more interested in what kind of fun the community can have with this story! Some jokes just write themselves. --martyb]


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  • (Score: 1) by khallow on Saturday September 07 2019, @11:23AM (13 children)

    by khallow (3766) Subscriber Badge on Saturday September 07 2019, @11:23AM (#890926) Journal
    Funny how these people who come up with "Save The Planet" ideas never know what actually is going on. For example, we are in no danger of being swarmed by billions of Swedes. The Swedish part of the overpopulation problem has been solved. We don't need to eat Swedes to Save The Planet. Who knew, right?

    Perhaps it's time to look at what Sweden is doing right rather than come up with modest silly ideas to rationalize slightly less silly ideas? Of course, we could instead Save The Planet by making things worse. I'm sure that'll work.
  • (Score: 2) by Nuke on Saturday September 07 2019, @12:23PM

    by Nuke (3162) on Saturday September 07 2019, @12:23PM (#890939)

    I'm sure he is thinking of eating Indians, not Swedes. Pre-curry flavoured.

  • (Score: 3, Interesting) by JoeMerchant on Saturday September 07 2019, @12:29PM (5 children)

    by JoeMerchant (3937) on Saturday September 07 2019, @12:29PM (#890943)

    Swedes have been obsessed with the "McDonalds effect" and cattle farms consuming the Amazon since at least the 1980s, probably long before that. A Swedish green sold me an Amazon styled postcard in 1989 at a nowhere train station, and couldn't stop ranting about how American culture was destroying the rain forests...

    --
    🌻🌻 [google.com]
    • (Score: 2) by Reziac on Sunday September 08 2019, @04:06AM (4 children)

      by Reziac (2489) on Sunday September 08 2019, @04:06AM (#891176) Homepage

      Yet the other day Brazil's minister of the interior pointed out that the Amazon rain forest is something like 94% pristine and intact. He was quite irritated with the panic over it's-all-burning-up and all-being-cut-down.

      --
      And there is no Alkibiades to come back and save us from ourselves.
      • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday September 08 2019, @05:25AM

        by Anonymous Coward on Sunday September 08 2019, @05:25AM (#891205)
      • (Score: 2) by JoeMerchant on Sunday September 08 2019, @03:05PM (2 children)

        by JoeMerchant (3937) on Sunday September 08 2019, @03:05PM (#891316)

        Yet the other day Brazil's minister of the interior pointed out that the Amazon rain forest is something like 94% pristine and intact. He was quite

        inebriated and completely in denial of the actual facts of the matter.

        Was his baseline the year 2000, or what?

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deforestation_of_the_Amazon_rainforest#Forest_loss_rates [wikipedia.org]

        --
        🌻🌻 [google.com]
        • (Score: 2) by Reziac on Sunday September 08 2019, @04:07PM (1 child)

          by Reziac (2489) on Sunday September 08 2019, @04:07PM (#891331) Homepage

          I note that the cites for that wiki article are almost entirely opinion pieces.

          Then I look at NASA's change in leaf area map, consider that probably both sides are wrong, and that the rainforest area is probably increasing, but is mostly too young to be counted.

          https://www.nasa.gov/sites/default/files/thumbnails/image/change_in_leaf_area.jpg [nasa.gov]

          --
          And there is no Alkibiades to come back and save us from ourselves.
          • (Score: 2) by JoeMerchant on Sunday September 08 2019, @09:01PM

            by JoeMerchant (3937) on Sunday September 08 2019, @09:01PM (#891397)

            Young grass does not support the same biodiversity or carbon capture as old growth tropical hardwoods.

            Tree cover is increasing in Florida, too... but that doesn't change the fact that 90%+ of the old growth was cut, used, and replaced with frankly poor substitutes. Yes, Frankly, as in the Oscar Meyer ranches, among others.

            We bought some land that was cut in the 1800s, to float logs down the river to a sawmill that built a little town - which burned within 20 years after it was built. Given 100+ years to regrow, it's starting to be a decent wildlife habitat again, too bad that the neighbors have all been incentivized (by tax breaks) to clear their forest and make way for a few farce-cattle on their land, farce because they get more in tax breaks than they could ever make from the cows - cows that they generally lose money on.

            --
            🌻🌻 [google.com]
  • (Score: 4, Informative) by SpockLogic on Saturday September 07 2019, @12:48PM (5 children)

    by SpockLogic (2762) on Saturday September 07 2019, @12:48PM (#890946)

    We don't need to eat Swedes to Save The Planet. Who knew, right?

    No, no, no. Swede (known in the USA as Rutabaga) is very tasty. So eat more Swede to Save The Planet.

    --
    Overreacting is one thing, sticking your head up your ass hoping the problem goes away is another - edIII
    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday September 07 2019, @01:50PM (4 children)

      by Anonymous Coward on Saturday September 07 2019, @01:50PM (#890961)

      Have you forgotten the Swedish Bikini Team?

      • (Score: 3, Interesting) by looorg on Saturday September 07 2019, @02:13PM (3 children)

        by looorg (578) on Saturday September 07 2019, @02:13PM (#890973)

        It was an American beer commercial gimmick, none of the women were even Swedish or about as Swedish as the Swedish Chef on the Muppet Show. Which I guess was perhaps more Swedish then them since he was at least based upon a real Swedish chef compared to some blond bimbo stereotype.

        • (Score: 2) by Pslytely Psycho on Saturday September 07 2019, @03:02PM (2 children)

          by Pslytely Psycho (1218) on Saturday September 07 2019, @03:02PM (#890985)

          Wait a minute, I thought blonde, big boobed bimbos were THE Swedish stereotype.

          --
          Alex Jones lawyer inspires new TV series: CSI Moron Division.
          • (Score: 2) by looorg on Saturday September 07 2019, @05:02PM (1 child)

            by looorg (578) on Saturday September 07 2019, @05:02PM (#891012)

            Sure, that just doesn't make them Swedish tho -- unless you want to count all blond females with larger the average breasts as being Swedish.

            • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday September 08 2019, @02:29AM

              by Anonymous Coward on Sunday September 08 2019, @02:29AM (#891144)

              Sure, that just doesn't make them Swedish tho -- unless you want to count all blond females with larger the average breasts as being Swedish.

              That could work for me!