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Journal by The Mighty Buzzard
It will never be a literal thing, only a useful fiction, sorry. You want proof? Tide doesn't make laundry soap that smells like bacon or WD-40.
The Fine Print: The following comments are owned by whoever posted them. We are not responsible for them in any way.
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Frankfort, Kentucky, makes it against the law to shoot off a policeman's tie.
(Score: -1, Troll) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 06 2019, @04:53PM (19 children)
Buzzard has spoken.
(Score: 2) by The Mighty Buzzard on Sunday October 06 2019, @05:02PM (18 children)
Screw that. I have no doubt whatsoever that I'm a better cook. She's welcome to do the dishes though.
My rights don't end where your fear begins.
(Score: 1, Informative) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 06 2019, @05:10PM (17 children)
Buzzard spilled food all over his shirt again, and there are piss, shit, and cum stains on his pants.
(Score: 2) by Runaway1956 on Sunday October 06 2019, @05:18PM (5 children)
Sounds like you have a personal relationship with TMB - or you're hoping to cultivate a relationship.
Abortion is the number one killed of children in the United States.
(Score: 4, Informative) by The Mighty Buzzard on Sunday October 06 2019, @05:37PM (4 children)
All straight women, gay guys, and bisexual folks want me, some of them are just in denial.
My rights don't end where your fear begins.
(Score: 2, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 06 2019, @05:46PM (3 children)
Even the fish want him. They keep jumping into the boat.
(Score: 1) by fustakrakich on Monday October 07 2019, @12:09AM (2 children)
Truer love you'll never find [youtube.com]
La politica e i criminali sono la stessa cosa..
(Score: 2) by The Mighty Buzzard on Monday October 07 2019, @12:25AM (1 child)
Asian carp though. Invasive species that nobody much in the US eats. You don't have to keep them but you can't throw them back without killing them first.
My rights don't end where your fear begins.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 07 2019, @01:59AM
Asian carp though.
love you long time! twenty dollah!
(Score: 2) by The Mighty Buzzard on Sunday October 06 2019, @05:19PM (10 children)
That's why I have more than one pair of pants.
My rights don't end where your fear begins.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 06 2019, @05:28PM (9 children)
Real men don't do laundry. Real men burn their dirty clothes in the back yard. You can always tell a real man's house by the thick plume of smoke out back on laundry day. Real men buy new clothes every week, which real men can afford to do on a real man's salary.
Real men don't need a woman to cook or clean, and when real men get horny, real men cum in their own mouths.
(Score: 3, Informative) by The Mighty Buzzard on Sunday October 06 2019, @05:35PM (7 children)
Gay jokes don't work if your subject is secure in his sexuality. Or if he's gay, I suppose.
My rights don't end where your fear begins.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 06 2019, @05:41PM (6 children)
Buzzard bends down and sucks himself off as useful lesbians wash his dirty dishes and set his dirty laundry ablaze.
(Score: 2) by The Mighty Buzzard on Sunday October 06 2019, @05:59PM (5 children)
You realize you've come very near the straight guy dream in that statement, right? You just forgot that we have favorite, comfortable clothes that women keep trying to throw out, burn, or otherwise get rid of. Oh and the lesbians should be hot and of a mind to have after work sex within a short distance of our favorite chair.
My rights don't end where your fear begins.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 06 2019, @06:11PM (4 children)
Real men who can afford to pay hot lesbians to have sex in front of them can afford comfortable tailored clothes.
(Score: 2) by The Mighty Buzzard on Sunday October 06 2019, @08:22PM (2 children)
Who goes fishing in tailored clothes?
My rights don't end where your fear begins.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday October 06 2019, @09:00PM (1 child)
Richer men than you.
(Score: 3, Informative) by The Mighty Buzzard on Sunday October 06 2019, @10:36PM
Nah, my favorite fishing buddy back in OK had tens of millions to his name and wore overalls and pearl snap shirts. Fashion is a function insecurity not wealth or you'd never see a Mercedes in the ghettos.
My rights don't end where your fear begins.
(Score: 2) by DannyB on Tuesday October 08 2019, @03:48PM
You have to pay?
That's odd. How much do you pay?
If you eat an entire cake without cutting it, you technically only had one piece.
(Score: 2, Interesting) by RandomFactor on Sunday October 06 2019, @07:26PM
To be fair, bulk socks are $1/pair. Calculating in a decent wage, soap, water, electricity, environmental impact, depreciation on washer and dryer, opportunity costs and economic benefits of keeping sock makers employed, it sure seems like buying new is at least competitive if not a superior option.
В «Правде» нет известий, в «Известиях» нет правды
(Score: 4, Funny) by Azuma Hazuki on Sunday October 06 2019, @05:36PM (12 children)
Only a steady diet of Tide pods and inhaled industrial lubricant could produce someone who speaks and acts like you. Mystery solved, LOL :) And I cook well if cheaply, but hate dishes about as much as you do, so we have a Mexican (or Italian, Thai, Punjabi, or Sichuan) Standoff there...
I am "that girl" your mother warned you about...
(Score: 2) by The Mighty Buzzard on Sunday October 06 2019, @05:44PM (10 children)
Pshaw, there's a compelling financial reason to only make laundry smell like fru-fru stuff or there would be awesome scents as well is all I'm saying.
As for dishes, I have a solution there but it's not easy to implement. Having had to sub for an absent dishwasher at the hotel I worked at for a while once or twice, I found out that if you have an enormous sink, a wicked high pressure, hot as hell spray hose, and an industrial dishwasher, washing dishes is actually enjoyable. We found the sink (three deep and wide sinks with a couple feet of stainless counter on each side that drains into them, one piece) for a really good price but we're still working on the dishwasher and ubersprayer.
My rights don't end where your fear begins.
(Score: 3, Insightful) by Runaway1956 on Sunday October 06 2019, @06:14PM (2 children)
Rinse dishes immediately after use, and allow to soak until you get around to doing dishes. If your nasty bowl/plate/whatever is just kept wet, it easily scrubs clean even if you don't wash for a week. Pots and pans may be less cooperative, depending on how badly you manage to burn things.
I will NEVER try to clean up a kitchen where no one even rinses their stuff after eating.
Abortion is the number one killed of children in the United States.
(Score: 2) by The Mighty Buzzard on Sunday October 06 2019, @08:26PM
With a commercial setup like I mentioned, it takes maybe five minutes worth of work on your part and about the same running a few racks of dishes through the commercial dishwasher to have several cabinets worth of shiny, clean dishes. Zero scrubbing. It's truly a miracle of technology.
My rights don't end where your fear begins.
(Score: 3, Informative) by krishnoid on Sunday November 24 2019, @04:41AM
And ladies and gentlemen, *this* is the number one reason why a dog is man's best friend :-)
(Score: 1, Interesting) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 07 2019, @01:50AM (3 children)
> ...ubersprayer
After years of denial, I finally gave in and joined the rest of the local suburbanites--bought a pressure washer (we had a lot of Sears points to use up before the local store closed).
It's pretty amazing. Assuming you can set up a suitable splash shield or floor drain, it would get your dishes clean with very little effort. Wear a heavy rubber glove on the hand that holds the dishes so you don't damage your skin with an accidental spray.
As well as the normal cleaning targets (gutters and sidewalks under a locust tree covered in green slime--cleaned right up), I've cleaned all kinds of things:
The aluminum extrusion shower door has recesses that resist any other form of cleaning, but the gunge was gone in a few seconds (took a few minutes to take the door off and then reinstall).
A number of scrub brushes that were black at the base of the bristles came out sparkling.
(Score: 2) by The Mighty Buzzard on Monday October 07 2019, @03:39AM (2 children)
Hmm... I wonder if I can find a pressure regulator that'll fit without too many adapters to keep it down to Clean The Dishes instead of Peel The Skin Off Your Hand.
My rights don't end where your fear begins.
(Score: 3, Interesting) by deimtee on Monday October 07 2019, @08:05AM (1 child)
Just buy a cheap chinese one that only does a few hundred psi.
Or bore out the hole in the nozzle a bit, that will drop the exit speed a lot.
No problem is insoluble, but at Ksp = 2.943×10−25 Mercury Sulphide comes close.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday October 08 2019, @04:12AM
Our 110VAC pressure washer listed for about USD $180 at Sears, outdoor cleaning would go faster with a bigger one, but for occasional use it is fine. It came with several nozzles, I normally use the 15 deg fan, but the wider fan (45 deg?) is much lower pressure and covers a wider swath. A really cheap one might be just the ticket for dishes....
If you've ever used the eraser tool in Paint, a pressure washer on dirty sidewalk or gutters is like that. Where ever you wave it gets clean. If you don't overlap strokes perfectly, then there is a line of dirt left.
(Score: 2) by Reziac on Monday October 07 2019, @02:29AM (2 children)
Okay, now I am jealous of your sink. I know well the gear of which thou sings the praises, from my long-ago stint as a professional dishwasher. (But not the lowest man on the totem pole; that was my assistant.) It's truly magical to watch gross disgusting dishes go in one side, and pristine shining dishes come out the other.
I wonder if it would work with carp? go in one side as gross disgusting bottom feeders; come out the other side as catfish. Mmmm. catfish.
And there is no Alkibiades to come back and save us from ourselves.
(Score: 2) by The Mighty Buzzard on Monday October 07 2019, @03:38AM (1 child)
Want me to make it worse? The Roomie picked it up on the FaceButt Sell Your Crap thing for about what you'd pay for a shitty little kitchen sink at Home Depot. Three sink bays that will each fit the biggest pots, pans, and cutting boards we have and two feet or so of space on either side that has two or three inches of raised lip around it so you could wash anything that didn't fit too. Best bachelor sink ever.
My rights don't end where your fear begins.
(Score: 2) by Reziac on Tuesday October 08 2019, @04:19AM
Should be standard fittings in any modern kitchen!!
And there is no Alkibiades to come back and save us from ourselves.
(Score: 2, Touché) by fustakrakich on Sunday October 06 2019, @06:34PM
And I cook well if cheaply, but hate dishes about as much as you do, so we have a Mexican...
Hondurans are pretty good too
Sorry, couldn't help it...
La politica e i criminali sono la stessa cosa..
(Score: 2) by Arik on Monday October 07 2019, @05:37AM (5 children)
The sort of equality relevant to people is in the context of politics. Politically equal. Legally equal. That's all.
It doesn't mean one person isn't smarter, or stronger, or better looking than the next. But regardless of any inequalities in other areas, each of us gets one vote, and it should be the same law that applies to everyone, no matter who or what they are.
If laughter is the best medicine, who are the best doctors?
(Score: 2, Funny) by fustakrakich on Monday October 07 2019, @07:00AM (4 children)
It doesn't mean one person isn't smarter, or stronger, or better looking than the next.
Yes it does [tnellen.com]
La politica e i criminali sono la stessa cosa..
(Score: 2) by Arik on Monday October 07 2019, @07:23AM (3 children)
If laughter is the best medicine, who are the best doctors?
(Score: 2) by The Mighty Buzzard on Monday October 07 2019, @10:37AM (1 child)
You'd think, but then again so was 1984. Yet we have so many people trying to institute a Ministry of Truth right now that it's fucking insane.
My rights don't end where your fear begins.
(Score: -1, Flamebait) by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 07 2019, @07:39PM
Ah yes, like the president pushing blatant lies, barring journalists, and telling you reality is false while saying he can break the law with impunity.
That IS what you meant right? RIGHT? I mean if buzztardo meant anything else I'd be SO SHOCKED!
(Score: 1) by fustakrakich on Monday October 07 2019, @03:59PM
:-) You wish!
La politica e i criminali sono la stessa cosa..
(Score: 2) by cmdrklarg on Tuesday October 08 2019, @03:43PM (1 child)
WTF would I want my clothes to smell like WD-40?
I don't go for the artificial fru-fru smell either. I use the unscented soap.
Answer now is don't give in; aim for a new tomorrow.
(Score: 2) by The Mighty Buzzard on Tuesday October 08 2019, @04:58PM
It smells like shit getting done. Shit getting done is good. Ergo it smells like good.
My rights don't end where your fear begins.