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posted by Fnord666 on Friday October 11 2019, @05:10AM   Printer-friendly
from the spidey-sense-is-tingling dept.

A Mob of Horny Tarantulas is Prowling San Francisco:

October is turning out to be a bad month to live in San Francisco. First, utilities company PG&E initiated wide-ranging Bay Area blackouts to protect against the possibility of wildfires. Now it seems the warmer weather is attracting thousands of tarantulas looking for mates, so residents will have to fight off horny spiders in the dark.

[...]"San Francisco officials are warning residents to be on the lookout for thousands of giant male spiders," according to The Wall Street Journal. "The spiders aren't dangerous to people. In fact it's the other way around."

Creepy as they may be to those who [fear] them, spiders help humans by eating thousands of bugs every year that are a threat to crops.

"If spiders disappeared, we would face famine," New York's American Museum of Natural History's Norman Platnick told Treehugger this week. "Spiders are primary controllers of insects. Without spiders, all of our crops would be consumed by those pests."

While tarantulas do eat insects, frogs and small lizards, the spiders are mostly harmless to humans. Tarantula bites are painful like bee stings, but their venom is very mild.

[...]So if you happen to come across a tarantula on the trail, or under your sheets, "fear not, don't kill them," the site[*] continues. "Know that while they may look terrifying, they're doing the good work."

[*] Mount Diablo park website.


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  • (Score: 2) by krishnoid on Friday October 11 2019, @05:24AM (3 children)

    by krishnoid (1156) on Friday October 11 2019, @05:24AM (#905607)

    Are there instructions on relocating them? Or on giving them little picket signs and taran-telling them where the next global warming protest is?

    • (Score: 5, Informative) by zocalo on Friday October 11 2019, @06:40AM (2 children)

      by zocalo (302) on Friday October 11 2019, @06:40AM (#905618)
      Unless you have one of those "spider catcher" gadgets, put a suitably sized container over the top of the spider, then carefully slide a piece of paper/card underneath to trap it inside. It helps if the container is clear so you can see where the spider is and avoid pinning its legs with the card. Carefully relocate the entire assembly to an outdoor area - ideally with some foliage or other suitable cover and plenty of insects or other sources of food around - and then release the spider by removing the card and gentle shaking the container to dislodge it if need be. Spiders like having nooks to hide in, so if it has somewhere to seek shelter and plenty of food on its doorstep it'll almost certainly stay put and never bother you again.
      --
      UNIX? They're not even circumcised! Savages!
      • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday October 11 2019, @07:59AM

        by Anonymous Coward on Friday October 11 2019, @07:59AM (#905633)

        No thanks. In this instance, I am in full support of my gun-slinging brethren's right to discharge lawfully-owned firearms on their own property.

      • (Score: 2) by krishnoid on Saturday October 12 2019, @03:54AM

        by krishnoid (1156) on Saturday October 12 2019, @03:54AM (#906218)

        Where would horny male tarantulas like to be relocated to in SF? Twitter HQ?

  • (Score: 4, Insightful) by jasassin on Friday October 11 2019, @05:53AM (3 children)

    by jasassin (3566) <jasassin@gmail.com> on Friday October 11 2019, @05:53AM (#905610) Homepage Journal

    So if you happen to come across a tarantula on the trail, or under your sheets, "fear not, don't kill them,"

    If I woke up with a tarantula in my sheets I would shit the bed and run out the door screaming like a little sissy girl!

    --
    jasassin@gmail.com GPG Key ID: 0x663EB663D1E7F223
    • (Score: 1, Informative) by Anonymous Coward on Friday October 11 2019, @06:57AM

      by Anonymous Coward on Friday October 11 2019, @06:57AM (#905622)
      In the past I was seeing tarantulas on the ground practically every year. Mostly harmless. It did not take long to get used to them. They are not fast, and they will not jump at you and suck all your blood out :-) A dust pan is the simplest tool to move this spider somewhere else.
    • (Score: 1, Touché) by Anonymous Coward on Friday October 11 2019, @06:59AM

      by Anonymous Coward on Friday October 11 2019, @06:59AM (#905623)

      Sounds like an accurate response from someone in San Francisco.

    • (Score: 3, Funny) by inertnet on Friday October 11 2019, @11:46AM

      by inertnet (4071) Subscriber Badge on Friday October 11 2019, @11:46AM (#905678) Journal

      I doubt that the spider would appreciate, or be repelled by your offering.

  • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday October 11 2019, @06:53AM

    by Anonymous Coward on Friday October 11 2019, @06:53AM (#905619)

    Just imagine a hairy, horny, eight-legged Ethanol_fueled, prowling San Diego . . . oh, crap, it's real!

  • (Score: 2) by jmichaelhudsondotnet on Friday October 11 2019, @09:33AM

    by jmichaelhudsondotnet (8122) on Friday October 11 2019, @09:33AM (#905648) Journal

    moon talking to undersea coral
    trees handing out welfare
    mystery chinese moon gel
    new strange moon around saturn

    now this tarantula invasion

    nice for a second though to think about something other than how zionism is destroying everything good in the world.

  • (Score: -1, Troll) by Anonymous Coward on Friday October 11 2019, @03:27PM

    by Anonymous Coward on Friday October 11 2019, @03:27PM (#905824)

    It's called pride parade. They do it every year.

  • (Score: 3, Informative) by HiThere on Friday October 11 2019, @05:49PM (1 child)

    by HiThere (866) on Friday October 11 2019, @05:49PM (#905934) Journal

    You don't say until the very end that this is a press release from Mt. Diablo park...which is two counties away from San Francisco, and is a PARK.

    FWIW, my brothers were once trampled by a tarantula stampede, and survived without injury.

    --
    Javascript is what you use to allow unknown third parties to run software you have no idea about on your computer.
    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday October 11 2019, @10:17PM

      by Anonymous Coward on Friday October 11 2019, @10:17PM (#906079)

      Were they doing the tarantella?

  • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday October 12 2019, @02:39AM

    by Anonymous Coward on Saturday October 12 2019, @02:39AM (#906175)

    The person who submitted this article is conflating Mount Diablo, about 50 miles from the coastline, with San Francisco, which is too cold for tarantulas.

    IE, "clickbait".

    Is Soylent News trying to do an IPO or something? Just quit it.

  • (Score: 2) by Bot on Saturday October 12 2019, @10:22PM

    by Bot (3902) on Saturday October 12 2019, @10:22PM (#906443) Journal

    This page was generated by a Mob of Horny Tarantulas for Bot (3902)

    --
    Account abandoned.
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