Starbucks at a typical mall, a goth patron begins to order:
Goth kid: medium coffee Barista: one grande coffee. Do you want room for cream? Goth kid: no, I want it as black as my soul. The barista pokes furiously at the register for a minute or so Barista: So that's one grande upside-down vanilla-caramel soy milk steamer? Goth kid: No! Make it as burnt as my reputation! Barista: Okay, a grande upside-down vanilla-caramel soy milk steamer with a shot of fruit punch. The kid pauses for a beat... Goth kid: Thanks. Can I get a cake pop too?
Starbucks always seemed like a horror story to me. No one speaks English, for starters. I've visited three of their shops, with the same results each time. "I just want a regular coffee, please." I endure two to five minutes of the sort of gibberish you posted above. I walk out with a cup of something. Pop the top, take a sip, and it tastes like someone strained the water through the ashes of yesterday's campfire. Dump the contents on the ground, find a trashcan for the cup, drive down the road looking for a real restaurant where I can buy a cup of coffee.
Starbucks attempted a massive expansion into Melbourne, Australia. Not many outside of Australia will know this, but Melbournians are huge coffee snobs, partly due to the rich Italian coffee heritage that arrived with the European Migration of the 1950's and '60s.
So Starbucks hit this new market without bothering to do any research, figuring that they could just replicate the US formula over here. It did not go well [cnbc.com].
According to the article, Starbucks is still not learning how to make "coffee". Instead, they are hammering away to change Australian preferences.
Anyone who can brew burnt/bitter extra dark coffee should be able to adapt, and brew other coffees. I'm not a real fan of espresso style, or any other coffee that condenses a quart of coffee into a shot glass. But, I'd much rather drink good espresso, than anything Starbucks makes.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday September 21 2020, @05:44AM
by Anonymous Coward
on Monday September 21 2020, @05:44AM (#1054258)
In the early 90s my girlfriend went to a conference in Seattle and brought me back to the east coast a pound of this Starbucks stuff that everyone out there was raving about. I made a pot and my reaction was the same as yours: man, this stuff tastes burnt! I think I ended up throwing the bag away.
Do they still sell coffee? The last time I went into one, all I saw was coffee-flavored sugar liquid.
(Score: 2) by Freeman on Monday September 14 2020, @09:28PM (6 children)
I like my coffee like I like my hot chocolate, with barely a hint of coffee flavor.
Joshua 1:9 "Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee"
(Score: 4, Funny) by DECbot on Tuesday September 15 2020, @03:06AM (5 children)
It reminds me of a comic I once saw.
Starbucks at a typical mall, a goth patron begins to order:
Goth kid: medium coffee
Barista: one grande coffee. Do you want room for cream?
Goth kid: no, I want it as black as my soul.
The barista pokes furiously at the register for a minute or so
Barista: So that's one grande upside-down vanilla-caramel soy milk steamer?
Goth kid: No! Make it as burnt as my reputation!
Barista: Okay, a grande upside-down vanilla-caramel soy milk steamer with a shot of fruit punch.
The kid pauses for a beat...
Goth kid: Thanks. Can I get a cake pop too?
cats~$ sudo chown -R us /home/base
(Score: 2) by Runaway1956 on Tuesday September 15 2020, @04:19AM (3 children)
Starbucks always seemed like a horror story to me. No one speaks English, for starters. I've visited three of their shops, with the same results each time. "I just want a regular coffee, please." I endure two to five minutes of the sort of gibberish you posted above. I walk out with a cup of something. Pop the top, take a sip, and it tastes like someone strained the water through the ashes of yesterday's campfire. Dump the contents on the ground, find a trashcan for the cup, drive down the road looking for a real restaurant where I can buy a cup of coffee.
(Score: 3, Interesting) by Mykl on Thursday September 17 2020, @04:43AM (1 child)
Starbucks attempted a massive expansion into Melbourne, Australia. Not many outside of Australia will know this, but Melbournians are huge coffee snobs, partly due to the rich Italian coffee heritage that arrived with the European Migration of the 1950's and '60s.
So Starbucks hit this new market without bothering to do any research, figuring that they could just replicate the US formula over here. It did not go well [cnbc.com].
(Score: 1, Offtopic) by Runaway1956 on Thursday September 17 2020, @06:01AM
According to the article, Starbucks is still not learning how to make "coffee". Instead, they are hammering away to change Australian preferences.
Anyone who can brew burnt/bitter extra dark coffee should be able to adapt, and brew other coffees. I'm not a real fan of espresso style, or any other coffee that condenses a quart of coffee into a shot glass. But, I'd much rather drink good espresso, than anything Starbucks makes.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday September 21 2020, @05:44AM
In the early 90s my girlfriend went to a conference in Seattle and brought me back to the east coast a pound of this Starbucks stuff that everyone out there was raving about. I made a pot and my reaction was the same as yours: man, this stuff tastes burnt! I think I ended up throwing the bag away.
Do they still sell coffee? The last time I went into one, all I saw was coffee-flavored sugar liquid.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday September 15 2020, @04:42PM
Should I happen to go to Starsucks, I'll order a "medium medium", and they usually get it: Medium size, medium burnt.