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posted by LaminatorX on Monday March 03 2014, @11:00PM   Printer-friendly
from the Java-should-be-open dept.

r00t writes:

"Taking a page out of Lexmark playbook, the Keurig company, famous for it's one-cup coffee making system, now comes with new and improved 100% DRM. Apparently, Keurig is upset over re-usable third-party 'coffee pods' which allow the consumer to escape the Keurig throw-away models which carry a retail price 5% to 25% more. Keurig's CEO, Brian Kelly referred to the move as 'game-changing performance.' Perhaps this will finally be the year of Linux on the Coffe Maker?"

 
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  • (Score: 5, Interesting) by edIII on Monday March 03 2014, @11:14PM

    by edIII (791) on Monday March 03 2014, @11:14PM (#10312)
    If you are purchasing a coffee maker that enforces the will of the manufacturer to make you purchase more expensive coffee, you have:

    1) Stuck your head so far up your ass, you could be in Guinness
    2) Not actually purchased a device that makes coffee
    3) Agreed to wake up to be that CEO's personal bitch and drink what he decides you can drink.

    How any consumer finds this appealing is beyond me. I would just stop drinking coffee altogether before allowing such idiotic and reprehensible forms of control over me, that are so easy for me to deny. Don't buy their little Hitler coffee maker and make do with something else.
    --
    Technically, lunchtime is at any moment. It's just a wave function.
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  • (Score: 5, Funny) by GungnirSniper on Monday March 03 2014, @11:20PM

    by GungnirSniper (1671) on Monday March 03 2014, @11:20PM (#10317) Journal

    So the new product will be iCoffee?

    • (Score: 3, Funny) by danomac on Monday March 03 2014, @11:27PM

      by danomac (979) on Monday March 03 2014, @11:27PM (#10328)
      I prefer the coffee at work. Sure, it is sludge, but boy is it effective. And effectively free!
    • (Score: 2) by edIII on Monday March 03 2014, @11:40PM

      by edIII (791) on Monday March 03 2014, @11:40PM (#10337)

      I... yes. It will effectively become iCoffee :)

      --
      Technically, lunchtime is at any moment. It's just a wave function.
    • (Score: 2) by mcgrew on Tuesday March 04 2014, @01:29PM

      by mcgrew (701) <publish@mcgrewbooks.com> on Tuesday March 04 2014, @01:29PM (#10597) Homepage Journal

      You jest, but there's a reason for Apple's walled garden. But a DRM coffeemake? WTF?? Who would be stupid enough to buy one?

      And it's not DRM, what digital rights does a coffeemaker manufacturer have? Christ, it's just a couple of heating elements, a tank and a switch. Perhaps we need a new name for this consumer lock-in evil and stupid bullshit.

      --
      mcgrewbooks.com mcgrew.info nooze.org
      • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday March 05 2014, @04:34PM

        by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday March 05 2014, @04:34PM (#11387)

        > You jest, but there's a reason for Apple's walled garden. But a DRM coffeemake? WTF??

        Same reason... to secure a percentage of the profits on every sale of (apps/coffee).

  • (Score: 5, Insightful) by gallondr00nk on Monday March 03 2014, @11:38PM

    by gallondr00nk (392) on Monday March 03 2014, @11:38PM (#10336)

    The worst thing is, I'm willing to bet people will still buy it, the same as they still buy Lexmark printers. For the casual impulse shopper both look like a good deal, I guess.

    Like said Lexmark, the consumer will be perfectly happy until they buy the first or second refill, then it'll end up gathering dust as they aren't willing to fork out for the consumables.

    • (Score: 4, Insightful) by edIII on Monday March 03 2014, @11:49PM

      by edIII (791) on Monday March 03 2014, @11:49PM (#10343)

      Dear Lord.... if Lexmark actually said that they should be dragged out in the street and shot.

      Adding that much misery to the rest of the world in the form of electronics waste, pollution, and manufacturer impacts on the environment in a deliberate fashion knowing it will just be wasted is pure greed and malice.

      With ideas like that, it's no wonder I've never bought Lexmark then. They were always shitty, and their laser offerings were subpar with subpar features and subpar coding.

      I always wondered why I never heard any recommendations for their products. Just assumed they were horrible, not active parasitic mutants...

      --
      Technically, lunchtime is at any moment. It's just a wave function.
    • (Score: 5, Informative) by frojack on Tuesday March 04 2014, @12:06AM

      by frojack (1554) on Tuesday March 04 2014, @12:06AM (#10359) Journal

      You will note that Lexmark lost this fight, and upon hearing that HP decided not
      to go down that road. All HP does is disable its ink level detection circuits
      if they can't sense one of their own cartridges. The printers still work.

      --
      No, you are mistaken. I've always had this sig.
    • (Score: 4, Insightful) by NCommander on Tuesday March 04 2014, @01:02AM

      by NCommander (2) Subscriber Badge <michael@casadevall.pro> on Tuesday March 04 2014, @01:02AM (#10377) Homepage Journal

      It's a bit worse than that. Most people who buy Kureig machines use it initially with just K-Cups, then perhaps later use different cups (I know a couple of people with them, and my old roommates had one as well which I used fairly often). I mean, its a bloody plastic cup with a bit of foil that shoots hot water through it.

      Now the cups are going to need some sort of electronic method to get the DRM shit to work, and that means the cups will be even more environmentally unfriendly, and more expensive. Who the fuck wins for this?

      --
      Still always moving
      • (Score: 5, Insightful) by edIII on Tuesday March 04 2014, @05:49AM

        by edIII (791) on Tuesday March 04 2014, @05:49AM (#10463)

        "Who the fuck wins for this?"

        The Share Holders, the only caste that matters now...

        --
        Technically, lunchtime is at any moment. It's just a wave function.
      • (Score: 3, Insightful) by davester666 on Tuesday March 04 2014, @06:12AM

        by davester666 (155) on Tuesday March 04 2014, @06:12AM (#10471)

        keurig of course. not only will the cup be more expensive to produce due to the drm, but keurig will want a cut on top of that for 'inventing' this technology.

        • (Score: 2) by JeanCroix on Tuesday March 04 2014, @03:32PM

          by JeanCroix (573) on Tuesday March 04 2014, @03:32PM (#10681)
          When the CEO uses the phrase "game-changing performance," he's not referring to the function of the machine or the quality of the coffee - he's talking about their share price.
      • (Score: 4, Interesting) by mojo chan on Tuesday March 04 2014, @01:29PM

        by mojo chan (266) on Tuesday March 04 2014, @01:29PM (#10598)

        I wonder if that makes it qualify as WEEE waste in the EU? Can't just throw the empty pods in the bin in that case.

        --
        const int one = 65536; (Silvermoon, Texture.cs)
    • (Score: 2, Interesting) by cykros on Tuesday March 04 2014, @05:26PM

      by cykros (989) on Tuesday March 04 2014, @05:26PM (#10787)

      I'm wondering if this will go so well for Keurig in the long run. Seems like something that may get them a lawsuit for anti-competetive practices. For the most part, DRM is usually about intellectual property "rights" (or self-granted privileges). Provided these third party refill options don't violate any patents, I'm not sure how Keurig would fare in such a case.

      Anyway, here's to hoping that it dies in the marketplace before it can even get that far. I'll be sticking with my DeLonghi espresso machine personally, and drinking something that tastes GOOD instead (for less than the cost of a Keurig, I might add).

    • (Score: 1) by EvilJim on Tuesday March 04 2014, @10:05PM

      by EvilJim (2501) on Tuesday March 04 2014, @10:05PM (#11003) Journal

      That's right, they'll probably reduce the price of the coffee maker due to the expensive consumables, soon it'll be cheaper to buy a new coffee maker with two free coffee pods than it is to buy the two coffee pods on their own, think hp printers / ink prices.

  • (Score: 2) by bucc5062 on Monday March 03 2014, @11:51PM

    by bucc5062 (699) on Monday March 03 2014, @11:51PM (#10346)

    I almost anti-snorted snot reading this...thank you. Perfect response.

    --
    The more things change, the more they look the same
  • (Score: 2, Interesting) by BradleyAndersen on Tuesday March 04 2014, @12:03AM

    by BradleyAndersen (3383) on Tuesday March 04 2014, @12:03AM (#10358) Homepage

    when i by X, i should be allowed to do with X whatever i please, so long as i am not harming others through such use. i *almost* bought one of these ... now i will re-think.

    • (Score: 5, Interesting) by frojack on Tuesday March 04 2014, @12:11AM

      by frojack (1554) on Tuesday March 04 2014, @12:11AM (#10362) Journal

      i *almost* bought one of these ... now i will re-think.

      Don't buy.
      These are amazingly fragile and fickle devices.
      The warranty return rate on them is sky-high. Especially the earlier models.

      Most of the time Keurig stands behind the product and ships you a new one so you
      are only without the device for a week or two. My brother's machine broke down 3
      times, and each time he was upgraded to the newer model free of charge.

      --
      No, you are mistaken. I've always had this sig.
      • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday March 04 2014, @05:56PM

        by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday March 04 2014, @05:56PM (#10817)

        Anonymous posting for reasons.

        I've been told point-blank by people who sell and service these machines not to touch any consumer model, because the water pump is made of shitty cheap material that WILL break within months. The office models have slightly better pumps. For some values of "better".

        Do keep in mind, the money is selling you the overpriced refills. The brewing machine is effectively a loss-leader disposable item, and is engineered as such.

      • (Score: 1) by MachineShedFred on Tuesday March 04 2014, @08:35PM

        by MachineShedFred (1656) on Tuesday March 04 2014, @08:35PM (#10933)

        and each time he was upgraded to the newer model free of charge.

        Which, they'll happily do now, as the new model will contain their DRM shit that prevents you from not having to buy their blessed fucking coffee.

  • (Score: 2, Insightful) by Blackmoore on Tuesday March 04 2014, @12:30AM

    by Blackmoore (57) on Tuesday March 04 2014, @12:30AM (#10369) Journal

    At best you'll find a bunch of fist time buyers who buy on name; and then after finding out that the new machine doesnt work with the cups they just bought relegate it to the back closet. Another wasteful purchase.

  • (Score: 1) by jasassin on Tuesday March 04 2014, @02:57AM

    by jasassin (3566) <jasassin@gmail.com> on Tuesday March 04 2014, @02:57AM (#10412) Homepage Journal

    Keurigs new "The Little Hitler 2.0". Brews a mean cup of coffee. Brews an even meaner cup of coffee if you are Jewish.

    --
    jasassin@gmail.com GPG Key ID: 0xE6462C68A9A3DB5A
    • (Score: 1) by cykros on Tuesday March 04 2014, @05:29PM

      by cykros (989) on Tuesday March 04 2014, @05:29PM (#10791)

      I don't know whether to mod this up (for being funny) or down (for managing to invoke Godwin's Law in reference to a coffee pot).

      I guess I'll leave it an this little explanation...

  • (Score: 2) by nitehawk214 on Thursday March 06 2014, @08:51PM

    by nitehawk214 (1304) on Thursday March 06 2014, @08:51PM (#12199)

    4) Not adequately informed of the drawbacks of the device you just purchased; and should return it for a refund.

    --
    "Don't you ever miss the days when you used to be nostalgic?" -Loiosh