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posted by martyb on Thursday February 11 2021, @05:40PM   Printer-friendly
from the we-promise-little-to-no-injury-or-your-money-back dept.

Fantastical News Everyone! Remember an earlier SN article about CELLMATE, a male chastity device that got hacked and would not unlock your hardware? Well, now the maker of that IoT device says it's now totally safe to put your equipment into their device once again! They promise! This time for sure! Nothing could go wrong!

Chastity Penis Lock Company That Was Hacked Says It's Now Totally Safe To Put Your Penis Back In That Chastity Lock

While we've covered the Internet of Broken Things for some time, where companies fail to secure the devices they sell which connect to the internet, the entire genre sort of jumped the shark in October of last year. That's when Qiui, a Chinese company, was found to have sold a penis chastity lock that communicates with an API that was wide open and sans any password protection. The end result is that users of a device that locks up their private parts could enjoy those private parts entirely at the pleasure of nefarious third parties. Qiui pushed out a fix to the API... but didn't do so for existing users, only new devices. Why? Well, the company stated that pushing it out to existing devices would again cause them to all lock up, with no override available. Understandably, there wasn't a whole lot of interest in the company's devices at that point.

But fear not, target market for penis chastity locks! Qiui says it's now totally safe to use the product again!

Since this device uses a proprietary API, there is still the issue of Vendor Lock In to be concerned about.


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  • (Score: 2) by DannyB on Thursday February 11 2021, @07:26PM (5 children)

    by DannyB (5839) Subscriber Badge on Thursday February 11 2021, @07:26PM (#1111691) Journal

    I also forgot to point out, if you were to read the prior SN article about this device (which I linked in article), you would find that if the device is locked, it really was possible to remove it with an angle grinder to cut it off. I mean cut the device's bolt, not cut . . . uh, nevermind.

    But some picky people wouldn't want an angle grinder near their bits.

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  • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 12 2021, @08:46AM

    by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 12 2021, @08:46AM (#1111887)

    Installment of such a device on one's family jewels is pretty much admitting that there may be an emergency department visit with non optional power tool application to one's private sensitive parts in the future.

    What's wrong with a decent hacksaw? Besides the additional time it would take.

  • (Score: 2) by FatPhil on Friday February 12 2021, @08:59AM (3 children)

    by FatPhil (863) <pc-soylentNO@SPAMasdf.fi> on Friday February 12 2021, @08:59AM (#1111891) Homepage
    Definitely not an angle grinder. Why not the jaws of life?
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    • (Score: 2) by DannyB on Friday February 12 2021, @03:51PM (2 children)

      by DannyB (5839) Subscriber Badge on Friday February 12 2021, @03:51PM (#1111980) Journal

      Would that device fit? Once it begins stretching a metal ring in one direction, does the perpendicular direction begin to contract and, uh, squeeze things?

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      Satin worshipers are obsessed with high thread counts because they have so many daemons.
      • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 12 2021, @09:01PM

        by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 12 2021, @09:01PM (#1112101)

        Squeezing is unlikely to be much of an issue for the duration of removal, the bigger issue is that when it does break, there's likely to then be sharp bits of metal directly in contact with skin. Really, this is a situation where the device should be engineered in a way that you can safely cut enough of it to get it off if you have an emergency situation. Considering that most folks that have any idea what they're doing keep a set of trauma sheers on hand when engaged in bondage for cutting away belts or ropes if they need to get somebody out quickly, you'd think there'd be some thought put into the need to quickly remove the gear if something does happen.

      • (Score: 2) by FatPhil on Friday February 12 2021, @11:16PM

        by FatPhil (863) <pc-soylentNO@SPAMasdf.fi> on Friday February 12 2021, @11:16PM (#1112144) Homepage
        It doesn't just pull apart squished bits of car wrecks, also acts as a pair of shears to hack through things like door pillars. It's the latter action I was referring to.
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