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The Fine print: The following are owned by whoever posted them. We are not responsible for them in any way.

Journal by khallow
I noticed a worrisome phenomena this morning. Things keep falling on the floor. Clearly, this is due to a miscalibrated gravitational field. I'm sheltering in place in my bed until a physicist fixes this. My posting might be light for the next few hours so please be careful on the scary, dangerous intarweb until I can get back up to speed on correcting wrongthink.
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The Fine Print: The following comments are owned by whoever posted them. We are not responsible for them in any way.
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  • (Score: 1, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday November 19 2022, @05:09PM (1 child)

    by Anonymous Coward on Saturday November 19 2022, @05:09PM (#1280510)

    Physicist here. Sometimes a strong vacuum can make your floor more attractive, so avoid your vacuous activity for a while. Alternatively buy an ugly rug.

    • (Score: 2) by DannyB on Monday November 21 2022, @03:34PM

      by DannyB (5839) Subscriber Badge on Monday November 21 2022, @03:34PM (#1280815) Journal

      A strong vacuum typically has sufficient power to suck things up, against the pull of miscalibrated gravity, into the suction tube then into the dirtbag.

      Nature abhors a machine which removes dust from the living space.

      --
      The anti vax hysteria didn't stop, it just died down.
  • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday November 19 2022, @05:15PM (1 child)

    by Anonymous Coward on Saturday November 19 2022, @05:15PM (#1280511)

    Hunter Biden is under investigation, we need details on this scandal! Please khallow, enlighten us with conservative wisdom. What is the Humter scandal and how does it have any bearing on the POTUS?

    Please khallow, you're our only hope! Of getting a clue what the dingbats are thinking ;^P

    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday November 20 2022, @04:47AM

      by Anonymous Coward on Sunday November 20 2022, @04:47AM (#1280594)

      I have a Hunter Biden Laptop, vintage, never been booted, or used. Asking the going price for Republican drama, $75,000 or best offer. Also have Obama Nigerian birth certificates, Trump Bahama brith certificants, and Oaf Keeblers certiori constitutionis insurrectioni papers. Inquire for prices.

  • (Score: 5, Funny) by Tork on Saturday November 19 2022, @07:02PM

    by Tork (3914) on Saturday November 19 2022, @07:02PM (#1280523)

    ...so please be careful on the scary, dangerous intarweb until I can get back up to speed on correcting wrongthink."

    Are you sure it's not magnetism? There are big deposits of irony in your area. 🤡

    --
    Slashdolt Logic: "25 year old jokes about sharks and lasers are +5, Funny." 💩
  • (Score: 1, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Saturday November 19 2022, @08:55PM

    by Anonymous Coward on Saturday November 19 2022, @08:55PM (#1280544)

    You're drunk, khallow! Stop drinking, and gravity will return to normal, after a while.

  • (Score: 1) by Runaway1956 on Sunday November 20 2022, @02:21AM (5 children)

    by Runaway1956 (2926) Subscriber Badge on Sunday November 20 2022, @02:21AM (#1280578) Homepage Journal

    Get off your arse, and pick stuff up, or entropy will smother you.

    --
    Abortion is the number one killed of children in the United States.
    • (Score: -1, Troll) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday November 20 2022, @06:57AM (3 children)

      by Anonymous Coward on Sunday November 20 2022, @06:57AM (#1280618)

      Shut the fuck up, you ignorant moron, Runaway! Do you not recognize a fellow soylentil's call for help? And this is the best you can do? We all are going to ignore you from now on, since you are an asshole.

      • (Score: 1, Informative) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday November 20 2022, @08:49AM (1 child)

        by Anonymous Coward on Sunday November 20 2022, @08:49AM (#1280639)

        We all

        ari + sockpuppets. Got it.

        are going to ignore you from now on

        HAHAHAHA! If only. Alas, yet another promise you will not keep.

        • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday November 20 2022, @08:16PM

          by Anonymous Coward on Sunday November 20 2022, @08:16PM (#1280709)

          Go odd nite, Runsaway! Notice the pure hatred in your latest journal entry. I never understood how the Republicans could whip up such irrational hate against women, reminds me of the Hilary hate of some years back. Runaway needs to be revoked. He's lost. It.

      • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday November 20 2022, @12:18PM

        by Anonymous Coward on Sunday November 20 2022, @12:18PM (#1280654)

        Fine. Khallow calls for help. You run over to Khallow's place, and start picking shit up for him. It's not like you're doing any good here.

    • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Monday November 21 2022, @08:24PM

      by Anonymous Coward on Monday November 21 2022, @08:24PM (#1280882)

      It appears Dark Brandon knows much more than Runaway.

      https://preview.redd.it/2e45q77fnyy21.jpg?auto=webp&s=838a1d4e2bc6f447243c4353859700bb03012430 [preview.redd.it]

  • (Score: 1, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Sunday November 20 2022, @09:18AM

    by Anonymous Coward on Sunday November 20 2022, @09:18AM (#1280644)

    It is clearly the kitty next door knocking things off the hall stand.

    This causes a localized whirlwind.

    Ain't you never seen Wizard of Oz? Cowardly Lion got drunk on catnip causing Dorothy's house to fall on top of that poor lady.

  • (Score: 2) by DannyB on Monday November 21 2022, @03:37PM

    by DannyB (5839) Subscriber Badge on Monday November 21 2022, @03:37PM (#1280817) Journal

    If you soak your mask in lemon juice, it helps prevent inhaling wrongthink particles directly into your brain. The government website tolled me so!

    --
    The anti vax hysteria didn't stop, it just died down.
  • (Score: 2) by cmdrklarg on Monday November 21 2022, @08:15PM

    by cmdrklarg (5048) Subscriber Badge on Monday November 21 2022, @08:15PM (#1280881)

    That's what happens when you butter the top of the cat. Won't do that again will ya? ;)

    --
    Answer now is don't give in; aim for a new tomorrow.
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