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from the all-I-got-was-this-stupid-T-shirt dept.
Caitlin Dewey writes in the Washington Post that she's been using a new service called "Invisible Boyfriend" and that she's fallen in love with it. When you sign up for the service, you design a boyfriend (or girlfriend) to your specifications. "You pick his name, his age, his interests and personality traits. You tell the app if you prefer blonds or brunettes, tall guys or short, guys who like theater or guys who watch sports. Then you swipe your credit card — $25 per month, cha-ching! — and the imaginary man of your dreams starts texting you." Invisible boyfriend is actually boyfriends, plural: The service’s texting operation is powered by CrowdSource, a St. Louis-based tech company that manages 200,000 remote, microtask-focused workers. "When I send a text to the Ryan number saved in my phone, the message routes through Invisible Boyfriend, where it’s anonymized and assigned to some Amazon Turk or Fivrr freelancer. He (or she) gets a couple of cents to respond. He never sees my name or number, and he can’t really have anything like an actual conversation with me." Dewey says that the point of Invisible Boyfriend is to deceive the user’s meddling friends and relatives. "I was newly divorced and got tired of everyone asking if I was dating or seeing someone," says co-founder Matthew Homann. "There seems to be this romance culture in our country where people are looked down upon if they aren't in a relationship."
Evidence suggests that people can be conned into loving just about anything. There is no shortage of stories about couples carrying on “relationships” exclusively via Second Life , the game critic Kate Gray recently published an ode to “Dorian,” a character she fell in love with in a video game, and one anthropologist argues that our relationships are increasingly so mediated by tech that they’ve become indistinguishable from Tamagotchis. “The Internet is a disinhibiting medium, where people’s emotional guard is down,” says Mark Griffiths. “It’s the same phenomenon as the stranger on the train, where you find yourself telling your life story to someone you don’t know.” It’s not exactly the stuff of fairytales, concludes Dewey. "But given enough time and texts—a full 100 are included in my monthly package—I’m pretty sure I could fall for him. I mean, er … them."
(Score: 2) by dyingtolive on Tuesday January 27 2015, @10:06PM
So clients of this system are basically twisting to play deceptive games upon their loved ones who are just expressing concern for them?
Instead of simply talking to people and saying, "look, it bothers me when you keep asking me about this, buzz off, I'll let you know," it's better to risk developing emotional attachment to a lie you yourself fabricated? Glad they have their pretend relationships; I'd rather be single than date someone like that.
Don't blame me, I voted for moose wang!
(Score: 3, Insightful) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday January 27 2015, @11:38PM
Show some backbone, people.
I have a loving and supportive family who is concerned for my happiness. My parents once asked me why I've been single for so long since my last relationship, and if I was doing well socially. I didn't lie, or feel the need to. I could tell their concern was coming from a place of love, not an attempt to shame me. So I told them I'm happy, because I genuinely am. They want me to find a partner because their underlying concern is my happiness, and most people ("normal" people) find companionship and romance a necessary component of happiness. It's not necessary for me. For whatever reasons, I don't need it. I've tried it, and all it did was make me appreciate my time alone even more. My life improved immediately when I realized this about myself. Giving up the struggle was the most liberating moment of my adult life.
What kind of spineless, passive aggressive, person would use this sort of thing? It seems utterly dehumanizing and humiliating for everyone involved. There's no shame in being single. There's a lot of shame in hiding who you are by lying--and paying a monthly fee to do so.
(Score: 1, Informative) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday January 27 2015, @11:57PM
Show some backbone, people.
I have a loving and supportive family who is concerned for my happiness
Apparently not loving enough to teach you that not everyone has the same set of circumstances as yourself. Sounds like you've never had a controlling parent who makes endure their badgering if you want to have a relationship with them. This service is a kind of judo to help keep the peace. I think the fact that you are permanently single means you've never had to make the the sort real-world compromises that are a necessary part of a functioning relationship. Perhaps that unwillingness to compromise for others in your life is the very reason you are single.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday January 28 2015, @02:25AM
unwillingness to compromise for others
You're not compromising with your badgering parent by using this service, you're just deceiving them. And by not putting a stop to it early, you just set yourself up for more problems. What happens when they demand to meet this fictional person and you can't ever produce them? More badgering. Part of growing up is having your relationship with your parents mature into one between adults who show each other respect. Your over-involved parent isn't showing you respect by constantly haranguing you over your relationship status, and you're not showing respect by lying about it.
(Score: 3, Interesting) by sigma on Wednesday January 28 2015, @05:38AM
What happens when they demand to meet this fictional person and you can't ever produce them?
Hollywood romcom movie starring Matthew McConaughey in 3.2.1...
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday January 28 2015, @05:59AM
>> unwillingness to compromise for others
>
> You're not compromising with your badgering parent by using this service,
Compromising for is not the same as compromising with.
> What happens when they demand to meet this fictional person and you can't ever produce them?
You break up. Please don't be that guy who thinks they can disprove a concept by assuming everyone is really stupid.
> Your over-involved parent isn't showing you respect by constantly haranguing you over your relationship status, and you're not showing respect by lying about it.
Fantastic. And back in the real world you live with hand you are dealt.
(Score: 1) by Mr. Slippery on Wednesday January 28 2015, @06:24PM
Ah, I think I see the problem here, AC. You -- and a lot of other people, apparently -- don't realize that the game is draw poker. You get to throw cards back. (You also get to bluff, but let's start with the basics.)
Paying for a fake boyfriend app rather than exercising the difficult but vital skill of drawing and enforcing relationship boundaries is not a path conducive to long-term mental health.
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday January 28 2015, @06:59AM
I might, actually.
Except it's too post-modern.
I just can't handle how post-modern this is.
Ok, I mean, my best friend seems to have found true love. My internet boyfriend might actually be getting laid (by one of those cisgendered female types!). I even managed to keep the furnace running another year.
This is just too post-modern.
Granted, I'm lonely. But shit!
It started in Japan, and now it's crazy! Fantasy love lifes!
Fuck it. I'll just be lonely. At least I know people who have flesh-and-blood relationships.
(Score: 2, Interesting) by Nuke on Wednesday January 28 2015, @11:35AM
Dewey says that the point of Invisible Boyfriend is to deceive the user’s meddling friends and relatives.
Dewey says that is the point, but I don't think it is. If you want to deceive your relatives that you have a distant GF/BF, why not just go ahead and lie? Why pay into this charade? You cannot produce the GF/BF in any case.
I think the similarity to Tamagotchi (or whatever it's called) is more the point.