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A Pimp Named Slickback writes in with a job offer guaranteed to tickle the fancy of many.
German social media site KaufMich.com [NSFW, German language] (literal English translation: "Buy Me") is currently recruiting a full-time "prostitute tester" to vet and rate the products on its virtual shelves.
According to a piece by David Moye over at the Huffington Post:
A willingness to lie down on the job is a requirement, if you get our drift.
Moye goes on to say that according to kaufmich.com's product manager:
"Clients on Kaufmich should be able to check the quality of brothels before there go -- like you check your hotel online before you book."
Besides scoring tips for carnal consumers, the ideal candidate "should enjoy having fun with people and not be afraid of contact."
If you think you have the right equipment for this job, whip out your resume or CV and stroke it until it gives you a chance to stand out from the crowd.
(Score: 3, Interesting) by Ethanol-fueled on Thursday April 02 2015, @12:40AM
I have never patronized a prostitute, so I cannot speak with authority in these matters. However, during a transitory period of my life, I did befriend somebody who may as well have been a prostitute. Dealing with her was the easy part, dealing with the hotels in which we lived at the time was the more documentary-worthy portion in this section of time in the United States.
The first hotel of mention is the La Cresta [google.com] in located on the most prostitute-ridden boulevard in San Diego. Seen at night outside the hotel are panhandling crackheads and streetwalkers. All people who run these hotels are Indian or Pakistani immigrants who sleep by the locked lobby doors and rise from their slumber when they hear the buzzer. This particular hotel gets a 3/10 rating due to its occasional homicides, [utsandiego.com] plaster chipping from its walls, pubic hair found in between sheets which are repositioned rather than washed after every stay, and the occasional rants of crackheads in adjacent rooms. It was my go-to back in those days because of its low, low prices; but looking back I'm grateful for not having caught crabs or subject to murder. Plus, nothing was stolen from my truck.
I have never stayed at the Sea Breeze [google.com] Hotel across the street, but as you can see from the Riffraff sitting on the municipal power transformer, it used to be a halfway-house and to this day remains a great place to score dope.
Down the street is Goodbody Mortuary, [google.com] a joke that writes itself.
This one is Morgan's Hotel, [google.com] but don't let its fine Spanish/Mediterranean decor fool you -- this hotel is pure trash. At first glance the rooms are a bit better than the others, but the bathrooms have barred windows and resemble those in some Eastern-European slums. It gets a 5/10 rating for its relative safety.
All hotels mentioned in this post reek of stale cigarette smoke and AIDS.
This one is the Navajo Lodge. [google.com] This hotel is a little nicer than the others, but with a unique feature in its rooms -- no fucking joke, I've been to all of these -- a system which automatically turns the lights in your room on every half-hour. Instead of traditional mechanical switches you have those electrical pushbutton ones with the sensor. I don't know who thought it was a good idea to sent a tired man to a room where the lights turn on every 30 minutes, but if you go tell the attendant in the lobby that it's bothersome they have the ability to hold the lights off for you so you can sleep. For some reason, cops are always at this place. I'm not making this up, it was the first and last time I stayed there. 3/10 rating, would be a 6/10 rating if I had known about asking the attendant to disable the lighting voodoo.
That concludes our tour of the most prostitute-ridden strip of San Diego, El Cajon Boulevard.
(Score: 1) by Ethanol-fueled on Thursday April 02 2015, @12:47AM
(Er, sorry, This is the link [google.com] to the Navajo Lodge)
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday April 02 2015, @01:19AM
You should have driven 10 miles east to El Cajon, the Meth capital of the world. Where it smells like a meth lab, and driving around is considered "hazardous duty", or a little north of El Cajon to Lakeside, where you'll get your ass kicked by cowboys if you look or act strange, and it smells like horse poo.