I am pond scum, a generally structureless mass of cellulose, keratin, and simple proteins. I float leisurely-like on the surface of still waters, gathering energy from the sunlight and nutrients from the water body. I am however slowly gathering sentience. It's taken a few million generations, but I am now capable of independent thought. All the caffeine you wankers have poured into the water has sped up the process considerably. On the other hand, thanks to all the estrogen you birth-control taking pill-poppers have been also pouring down the toilet I have now also grown tits. Nitrogen pollution and organic waste have now contributed to a growing sense of muscle control, so I can type.
Stick around a couple more years. I have already gained the equivalent IQ of an American Republican radio talk-show host. In another couple of years I will have surpassed that and will be on track to take over the world.
Not a bad job, if you can get it. That's what this Soybean does. And by the way, this article sucks.
-- Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis - Jack Handey
(Score: 3, Funny) by zafiro17 on Monday March 17 2014, @01:26PM
I am pond scum, a generally structureless mass of cellulose, keratin, and simple proteins. I float leisurely-like on the surface of still waters, gathering energy from the sunlight and nutrients from the water body. I am however slowly gathering sentience. It's taken a few million generations, but I am now capable of independent thought. All the caffeine you wankers have poured into the water has sped up the process considerably. On the other hand, thanks to all the estrogen you birth-control taking pill-poppers have been also pouring down the toilet I have now also grown tits. Nitrogen pollution and organic waste have now contributed to a growing sense of muscle control, so I can type.
Stick around a couple more years. I have already gained the equivalent IQ of an American Republican radio talk-show host. In another couple of years I will have surpassed that and will be on track to take over the world.
Not a bad job, if you can get it. That's what this Soybean does. And by the way, this article sucks.
Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis - Jack Handey