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“Dan” seems at first to perfectly embody that popular object of scorn these days in San Francisco: the privileged tech worker. He’s a developer-turned-manager at a thriving startup, the type of guy you would expect to see dodging protesters at a Google bus stop or evicting low-income tenants in order to build his dream condo. But beyond that veneer of untouchable privilege, there is a soft underbelly. He’s a 40-year-old virgin, and his troubles with women are bad enough that he’s sought out a sex therapist for help.
This is in part a result of techies’ higher-than-average salaries, which allow them to pay for therapy, particularly when it comes to non-traditional counseling that isn’t covered by insurance. There’s something else at play here, though: In general, tech workers are more vulnerable to issues around love and intimacy, according to several local sex therapists I’ve interviewed. The reasons for this are wide-ranging, but in Dan’s particular case, it resulted from being tagged as a prodigy at a young age. He excelled in science and was encouraged to pursue it to the exclusion of all else.
The men, like Dan, who are coming to see her have been hindered by the very thing that allows them to excel in their field. “There is a very strong reinforcement [in tech] on using your brain,” says McGrath. “You brain is what’s of value.” But when it comes to sex, she says, “our brains are bullshit.”
Original Submission
(Score: 3, Informative) by fritsd on Monday June 01 2015, @11:40AM
May I be the first to say I love(*) the "from the eros - philia - agapè dept." comment. Very astute.
So I'm not the only one who learned that distinction in religion class in school :-)
It makes it especially difficult to talk about these things in English because it only has the one word for all three of them.
(*) in the philia sense, I think.
Here's something back, that I read from a "green site" signature, I think: attributed to one "Emo Phillips":
"I used to think the brain was the most important organ in my body.
Then, I realized who was telling me this."
(Score: 2) by fritsd on Monday June 01 2015, @11:43AM
I forgot, the explanation:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agape [wikipedia.org].
(Score: 2) by dyingtolive on Monday June 01 2015, @03:05PM
As I was barreling down the highway last night to come home from taking a friend of mine to her parents, I saw an company car for some business consulting agency who's name was Agape. As their logo incorporated a cross and the license plate was stomach-turningly labelled "ONR GOD", it was safe to say that they were highly religious in nature.
All I could think when I read Agape though was goatse. There's not really a point to this anecdote. Were it not for happening less than 24 hours ago, I'd not even mention it. I found myself laughing harder than I should have.
Don't blame me, I voted for moose wang!
(Score: 2) by fritsd on Monday June 01 2015, @05:41PM
agápè != agápe (from the verb to gape)
Hm. It's confusing that the second alpha also has the acute accent.
No matter where you put that orange, God still loves you (according to Christian doctrine, that is. YMMV).