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posted by martyb on Monday June 01 2015, @12:52AM   Printer-friendly
from the ἔρως-φιλία-ἀγάπη dept.

“Dan” seems at first to perfectly embody that popular object of scorn these days in San Francisco: the privileged tech worker. He’s a developer-turned-manager at a thriving startup, the type of guy you would expect to see dodging protesters at a Google bus stop or evicting low-income tenants in order to build his dream condo. But beyond that veneer of untouchable privilege, there is a soft underbelly. He’s a 40-year-old virgin, and his troubles with women are bad enough that he’s sought out a sex therapist for help.

This is in part a result of techies’ higher-than-average salaries, which allow them to pay for therapy, particularly when it comes to non-traditional counseling that isn’t covered by insurance. There’s something else at play here, though: In general, tech workers are more vulnerable to issues around love and intimacy, according to several local sex therapists I’ve interviewed. The reasons for this are wide-ranging, but in Dan’s particular case, it resulted from being tagged as a prodigy at a young age. He excelled in science and was encouraged to pursue it to the exclusion of all else.

The men, like Dan, who are coming to see her have been hindered by the very thing that allows them to excel in their field. “There is a very strong reinforcement [in tech] on using your brain,” says McGrath. “You brain is what’s of value.” But when it comes to sex, she says, “our brains are bullshit.”


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  • (Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday June 02 2015, @12:25AM

    by Anonymous Coward on Tuesday June 02 2015, @12:25AM (#190966)

    You helpfully list some career types which pair well with engineers. What are career types which don't? This would be useful information to help weed out people.

    I'm going to take a stab and guess legal, law enforcement, and military are probably bad ones. Not a lot of "caring and humanity" in women from those career fields.

    I can't really speak about legal or law enforcement; just don't know many of them on a personal level. On the other hand, I do work daily with officers (men and women) in the US Air Force. I must say that my estimation and admiration of these folks has risen a lot from working with them over the last several years. They are fine folks! I have observed them to be very caring and well-mannered ladies and gentlemen. In fact, their manners easily put mine to shame. I can only hope they rub off on me more than I rub off on them. So, I would encourage anyone to get to know our men and women in uniform, particularly from the Air Force, on a more personal level. I think you will be glad you did.