“Dan” seems at first to perfectly embody that popular object of scorn these days in San Francisco: the privileged tech worker. He’s a developer-turned-manager at a thriving startup, the type of guy you would expect to see dodging protesters at a Google bus stop or evicting low-income tenants in order to build his dream condo. But beyond that veneer of untouchable privilege, there is a soft underbelly. He’s a 40-year-old virgin, and his troubles with women are bad enough that he’s sought out a sex therapist for help.
This is in part a result of techies’ higher-than-average salaries, which allow them to pay for therapy, particularly when it comes to non-traditional counseling that isn’t covered by insurance. There’s something else at play here, though: In general, tech workers are more vulnerable to issues around love and intimacy, according to several local sex therapists I’ve interviewed. The reasons for this are wide-ranging, but in Dan’s particular case, it resulted from being tagged as a prodigy at a young age. He excelled in science and was encouraged to pursue it to the exclusion of all else.
The men, like Dan, who are coming to see her have been hindered by the very thing that allows them to excel in their field. “There is a very strong reinforcement [in tech] on using your brain,” says McGrath. “You brain is what’s of value.” But when it comes to sex, she says, “our brains are bullshit.”
(Score: 1) by anubi on Tuesday June 02 2015, @04:01AM
I have seen enough marital disaster in my lifetime that frankly, I am quite afraid to open the pandora's box of a relationship with a woman.
Relationships do not seem near as simple as they were when I was a kid. Now, they seem more like a legal entanglement of massive proportions.
There are certain things in life which I think I would just as soon let 'em ride - and this is one of them.
Yeh, I know.... this is definitely a case of the fox and the sour grapes. I have no problem saying that. I have known this for fifty years.
I just feel I have far more things I would like to do than pander after pussie.
If I happen to find a woman that enjoys the things I like to do and wants to hang around, fine, but I have to admit I am pretty set in my ways of building things and tinkering that I would rather do that than participate in a bunch of stuff I find boring as hell just in order to get access to a few minutes worth of massage. I know better than ask her to put up with something she finds boring as hell. So if we don't "mesh", no sense grinding both of us out.
So, for now, its me and the cats. ( none are mine, per se, but six are camping out around my house ).
"Prove all things; hold fast that which is good." [KJV: I Thessalonians 5:21]