SoylentNews

I have many many online friends but very few meatspace friends.

Monday I felt tired and depressed, today too. But after work both days I visited with a couple of the few IRL friends I've got. And I wasn't so tired anymore, nor depressed.

A while back Anonymous Coward drove down to Vancouver and took me out to lunch. I'm going to email him to suggest I return the favor. He'll still have to drive here - he lived about forty miles away - but now I have the cash that I could buy us both lunch.

I've been sleeping excessively. Time that I could otherwise spend with other people, I spend sleeping. This is bad - excessive sleep makes me depressed, depression makes me sleep excessively. Clearly the solution is to sleep less, but when that alarm clock rings, I am immune.

A new guy moved in across the hall from me, that's in the same housing program I'm in. Chris is a good guy. I'm going to invite him in for coffee.

He said "Do you need any food? I got food". "No I got lots of food" I replied. "I'll get you anything you need - food, girls, you name it."

Just spending a little while having coffee with me would be all I need.

I know waitresses and baristas all over the Pacific Northwest, but there's only one I know well enough to see outside her work. She said she wants to come visit, but she's been very busy. She works a lot of hours, then her troublesome sister keeps her busy. She babysits her sister's kids.

I'm planning to buy a car with the money from my next project. (I've been asked to do a second project!) That should help quite a lot as it will enable me to play Open Mics with my keyboard. Performing live music is a good way to make friends. Musicians are a lot more fun than computer programmers.

Spring is here. It's still cold but many of the trees are covered with blossoms. It gladdens my heart to see them.

I still have to wear a coat but I no longer have to wear a sweater under the coat. Soon it will be warm enough to go out without a coat.

I haven't been singing on the street since I've had this client. I'm thinking seriously that I should resume singing. As my Newfie ex-wife said, it would blow the stink off me.

It's evening twilight as I write this. I like it that the sun is up later and later in the day. When I get off work there's still a couple hours of sunlight left.

With daylight savings time it's hard for me that the sun is still down when my alarm clock rings. It's not quite dark, it's morning twilight but there is very little light at that time. Soon though the sun will rise before my alarm.

Krddit's tdillo suggests that I need a hobby away from the computer. Really my music should be that hobby but my depression leads me not to practice. The crazy thing is that I feel good whenever I do practice, I know that I will, but even so I dread practicing.

The dread I have of doing just about anything is delusional. But just knowing that you're delusional doesn't make the delusion go away.

I'm going to ask my pshrink to change my happy pills. The ones I'm presently on - two different antidepressants - do help but not enough. I don't feel bad exactly but I sleep too much. When I talk to other people I speak very slowly. I have difficulty talking at all.

Well I'll post this and head home. The apartment manager will be replacing one of my light switches tonight - when this switch is turned on, the bulb flickers dimly. I don't know for sure that it's the light switch but it seems a reasonable explanation.