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I have a great many African friends who are all nice people, except for those who live in Ghana.
I have some reason to believe that all the Ghana residents to be found on Facebook are really Just One Guy who I expect really _does_ live in Ghana. Most commonly his profile photo is Blue-Eyed Cass wearing a sexy white dress with red polka-dots.
If you do an image search for Blue-Eyed Cass, be advised that most of the hits will be NSFW.
Eventually the time comes when "she" wants to come to America to Love Me Long Time. She'll need money to obtain a passport, money to bribe some public officials, round trip plane fare and so on.
The last time I got a Facebook Romance Scammer, she had me hook, line and sinker however she was very very insistent on me sending her cash for the plane fare so she could get a really good deal from a close friend who was a travel agent. "She" was far more patient than are most scammers, one of whom went from "I work as a nanny" to "Send me an iTunes Card" in less than ten minutes. Her profile photo was a SFW photo of a generally NSFW lady.
In the end, I reported this last "lady" as well as Emmanuel Olusoji Ishola to the FBI, the Secret Service - because they handle financial crimes, not just Presidential security - and to the Bank Of America's Security people.
It was not at all long before the above-linked page as well as this one were Google's top two hits for "Emmanuel Olusoji Ishola".
I mentioned that to my shrink, who replied, "He should have known better than to mess with a computer person".
Those two pages together were getting FIFTY GOOGLE REFERRALS PER MONTH for several months. I grew concerned he'd take out a hit on my life and so planned to move out of my apartment and back under a certain bridge - in a tent, with a sleeping bag and a camp stove - but in the end didn't actually do so.
However I _will_ report that I'm quite happy with my purchase of an MSR Whisperlite International multi-fuel stove. It can take White Gas (highly refined Naptha), Unleaded Gasoline, Kerosene and Propane.
Just now my Ghanian "lady" just told me that she's "looking for a healthy relationship" so I replied that I was once married, but that Bonita and I divorced in 2008.
The very instant "she" requests an iTunes card, I'll report her to the FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center. I do that rather than report them to Facebook because all Facebook will do is delete their account.
(Score: 2) by MichaelDavidCrawford on Thursday November 22 2018, @09:41AM (1 child)
No one types as fast as my Ghanian "lady" is pretending too.
There was another who was pestering me for a while. I think she was looking for really, really hard-up men. Within mere minutes of my having accepted any of her various profiles' FB Friendship, she would swear her undying love to me, then say that it is written in the stars for us to be together.
Oddly, all of her many profiles had the very same photos. (There are two, a portrait whose thumbnail is attached to each of one's posts, the other is a banner at the top of one's profile page.)
Just now I replied to her by saying, "That's most important to me in a relationship is open and honest communication." Really, that's completely true, but I said it to her specifically because I want to waste as much of her time as possible, so I can collect lots of evidence for the FBI and so I can prevent her from preying on more-gullible victims.
Yes I Have No Bananas. [gofundme.com]
(Score: 2) by MichaelDavidCrawford on Thursday November 22 2018, @09:53AM
This is working out real well:
It helps quite a lot for me to post very brief messages that encourage her to reply with quite a lot of text. For example, "Fascinating. Please go on".
Perhaps I could replace myself with a bot. Then "her" bot and my bot could while away the hours by burning "her" CPU time. My friend Robert Scott Mitchell writes Chat Bots [subbot.org]. I'll ask him to help me out.
Yes I Have No Bananas. [gofundme.com]
(Score: 2) by MichaelDavidCrawford on Thursday November 22 2018, @10:36AM (2 children)
It seems both of her parents and her brother died in a tragic accident.
"Please tell me of your sorrow."
To the extent I can I post very brief, noncommittal responses so as to keep them busy.
However I'm getting bored with this and would like to go back to painting my fingernails chartreuse.
Yes I Have No Bananas. [gofundme.com]
(Score: 2, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday November 22 2018, @10:39AM (1 child)
Ask for pictures of something "very Ghanan" so she can help you appreciate her culture.
(Score: 2) by MichaelDavidCrawford on Thursday November 22 2018, @01:45PM
Drop her pictures into Image Search so as to find out where she downloaded them from, then ask her somewhat obliquely whether she knows about the websites they're on.
With that Nigerian guy who got me on his fishhook, from time to time I'd catch him in a lie, and he'd go totally bananas trying to explain it.
I'm quite certain Emmanuel Olusoji Ishola had an actual woman working for him in the US, as their vocabularies were quite different from each other. Also Emmanuel Olusoji Ishola always spewed Walls Of Text whereas his US Sales Rep was far less talking. I have a favor to ask of y'alls:
Repeat after me:
I'd like Emmanuel Olusoji Ishola's name to be found everywhere online, so as to totally bury any future attempt of his to build a legitimate website.
Yes I Have No Bananas. [gofundme.com]
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday November 22 2018, @10:37AM (7 children)
You should beware of anyone who asks for something over the internet ;-)
(Score: 2) by MichaelDavidCrawford on Thursday November 22 2018, @01:49PM (6 children)
Do be a dear and pop out for a bit, purchase a fifty dollar iTunes Prepaid Card, carefully scrape off the wax on the back, snap a photo of the code found there then post that photo to Imgur?
Thanks For Your Help.
PS: One time I really _did_ pay $700 for a used hard drive I bought off Usenet, however I used Cash On Delivery. I knew I would at least receive a parcel however it was still risky because it was used.
It happens that I bought that drive in 1989, and it is _still_ in use by a friend of mine, who uses it with his Mac Plus to play such ancient games as Crystal Quest and the original Sim City. Both games are so cool that all by themselves it is well worth it to pay for an ancient Mac just to run them.
Yes I Have No Bananas. [gofundme.com]
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday November 22 2018, @03:47PM (5 children)
Try the modern marvel known as "Mini vMac" sometime.
You're welcome, you undeserving narcissistic lying scumsucking dickhead.
Fuck MDC
(Score: 1, Informative) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday November 22 2018, @04:24PM (3 children)
Happy Thanksgiving, Salty Spice! I hope you're doing well. Any luck on your job search?
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday November 22 2018, @08:10PM (2 children)
I must enjoy wasting my life applying for jobs that do not exist. I must enjoy meeting interviewers who praise my skills and tell me I should have no trouble finding work anywhere else except the company they themselves represent. I must enjoy receiving rejection letters every day from liars who are never hiring.
Otherwise why would I ever participate in your completely fraudulent job market.
Fuck MDC and you too
(Score: 1, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday November 22 2018, @11:47PM
I don't know if you enjoy it, but I'm certainly living vicariously through your job seeking adventures.
At this time of year I get to reflect, and to be thankful that I can give our employees the week of Thanksgiving off (as well as the week between Christmas and New Year's). It means that I have to monitor a few email accounts, and all calls come in to my cell phone, but it's worth it.
(Score: 2) by MichaelDavidCrawford on Friday November 23 2018, @01:00AM
Are the fifty thousand jobs that Amazon will create in Queens and Arlington just fake then?
Amazon has quite a complex website; it's not just eCommerce, there's also their hosting service which in my understanding is the leading VPS vendor.
So who wrote all that code? Don't tell me it was illegal immigrants; were that true, ICE would raid their Seattle office on a regular basis.
Yes I Have No Bananas. [gofundme.com]
(Score: 2) by MichaelDavidCrawford on Friday November 23 2018, @12:58AM
But I'm quite certain that Crystal Quest in particular would work better on a real box.
Yes I Have No Bananas. [gofundme.com]
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday November 22 2018, @03:29PM (5 children)
And so today is "Thanks" "giving" yet again, the beginning of the so called "holiday" "season" for fraudulent employers who take a whole four day weekend off their rituals of posting fake jobs and conducting fake interviews.
Of course for those of us who get scammed by the fraudulent employers, there is no holiday. Every day is a weekend for every unemployed person who is systematically denied employment by every fraudulent employer. Make no mistake: every employer is in the business of fraud. There are no jobs, anywhere. There is no employment, ever. There are only fake job postings and venture capital investment scams. Rich people can make their piles of money grow bigger without employing anyone, and without contributing anything of value to the economy, just by pretending to employ people and by scamming investors. The end result is chronic unemployment for the educated, the skilled, the talented, and anyone who is not a scammer.
For a list of every fraudulent employer, see Soggy Jobs, run by the undisputed king of scammers, Michael David Crawford.
Fuck MDC
(Score: 2, Funny) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday November 22 2018, @04:28PM (2 children)
Aww, sounds like you're lonely. Maybe you could find some new friends to spend the holidays with. I hear jobs can provide exposure to new people. Have you tried that yet?
(Score: 0) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday November 22 2018, @08:16PM (1 child)
I hear a blowjob is how you landed your paid gig where you are a worthless pile of shit who schedules meetings, attends meetings, and concludes every meeting by scheduling another meeting.
Fuck MDC
(Score: 1, Touché) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday November 22 2018, @11:50PM
As the owner and founder, I do have to attend some meetings, and even schedule a few. But mostly I write code, schmooze new clients, and plan for the future. It's a sweet gig if you can get it.
(Score: 1, Informative) by Anonymous Coward on Thursday November 22 2018, @07:25PM
Hey, Salty Spice, CafeBabe has posted a job [soylentnews.org] that you might be interested in.
(Score: 4, Informative) by MichaelDavidCrawford on Friday November 23 2018, @01:03AM
If you really believe what you keep asserting, you are floridly delusional.
Many Psychotherapists and Psychologists offer sliding scales to their low-income patients. In much of the US, one can see such mental health professionals free of charge either at county mental health clinics or at clinics that are charities and whose funding comes from grants; that was the case for me with Vancouver's Community Services Northwest [csnw.org] until I got my first client for my consultancy.
Yes I Have No Bananas. [gofundme.com]
(Score: 3, Insightful) by mrpg on Thursday November 22 2018, @05:56PM (2 children)
My friend you've led an interesting life.
(Score: 4, Touché) by MichaelDavidCrawford on Friday November 23 2018, @01:08AM (1 child)
That's the English translation of a Chinese insult.
When I think back on all that I've experienced in my 54 years, I realize that many of those experiences were truly amazing, such as when I climbed a curve ladder to the top of the Palomar 200 inch telescope done with torn cartilage in my left knee then wrote graffiti there on the top.
Strangely, for my entire life my usual day-to-day experiences are mostly filled with boredom, it is only upon reflection that I realize that as you say, I do lead an interesting life.
If my Indiegogo campaign meets its funding goal, I will have more than a half million dollars in my business checking account. Pretty good for a chronically mentally ill homeless man, eh?
Yes I Have No Bananas. [gofundme.com]
(Score: 1, Informative) by Anonymous Coward on Friday November 23 2018, @03:32AM
It is not so much an insult as it is a curse.