Alarm
The alarm went off when we were watching a movie; a real one this time, a modern holo rather than the ancient two dimensional ones we'd been watching. So of course I thought "damned whores."
"Sorry, hon, we have a fire in the commons. I'll be back when I can." Damned whores.
When the yellow light flashes over most doors, they can only be opened from the outside. When it flashes red outside it won't let you in, when it flashes red on the inside you'd better get the hell out of there.
There were a few exceptions, like my quarters. It would only keep me in if there was a vacuum or a fire outside the door. It only flashed yellow as a warning.
I went to the commons and another alarm went off. What the hell? This one was in the passenger section, apartment 12. Nobody should be in there. Whores? More electric problems?
The commons was closer and I had to make sure the cargo had evacuated.
There were no whores and no fire. My tablet reported it was a scheduled drill. That explained number twelve, sometimes they simulated more than one fire.
It went off again. "Cargo section, #6." I laughed, the computer was posing a conundrum for me. And the cargo. If your quarters caught fire you were supposed to go to the commons but what if it were on fire, too?
Number six... that was the Thai girls, wasn't it?
There was screaming from the other side of the door. "Computer, open the door" I ordered.
"Unable to comply. Danger to ship, passengers, other cargo, and crew."
"Report."
"Fire in cargo hold six. Fire suppression technologies deployed."
The damned thing talks like it's went to college.
"Let those girls out, damn it!!"
"Unable to com..."
"GOD DAMN IT!!"
And then another damned alarm went off. Son of a bitch! "Computer, source of new alarm."
"Meteor shower ahead." The door opened and the girles stumbled out, along with the fat blonde, coughing. Smoke billowed from the door before it closed.
"Meet me in the commons, I have an emergency." I ran to the pilot room on my sore legs.
This time, like most times, meteors meant slow down. I reduced gravity to 10%. This time I wasn't going to face the whores until it was over, we were already behind schedule.
After the rocks all passed in front of us I sped back up and adjusted course to make up for the damned rocks.
I checked the passenger quarters and sure enough it was a drill. What morons program this shit, anyway? Having emergency drills when there's a real emergency? That's dangerous. Stupid dangerous. Those bozos might have went to college but they were morons. God damned idiots!
What? Yeah, yeah, just shut up and let me talk, I want to get this over. Anyway, the three girls were still sitting on the medic outside their apartment sucking oxygen. The door light was red but no longer flashing.
"So what happened?" I asked them.
"Don't know," the blonde said. I can never remember her name. Anyway, she says "we were just talking when that damned noisy maid burst into flames and the room locked us in! We were scared shitless!"
It happened sometimes, but they usually smoked for a while before they started burning, and then only when they were old and worn out. I hoped the ship had a robot that made robots.
The light went out, the door opened, the Thai women went in and the blonde went home. So did I.
Destiny had fallen asleep, so I got a beer and put the movie back to where I'd left off.
Mars, Ho! Chapter Seventeen
Chapter One
Previously
Alarm
The alarm went off when we were watching a movie; a real one this time, a modern holo rather than the ancient two dimensional ones we'd been watching. So of course I thought "damned whores."
"Sorry, hon, we have a fire in the commons. I'll be back when I can." Damned whores.
When the yellow light flashes over most doors, they can only be opened from the outside. When it flashes red outside it won't let you in, when it flashes red on the inside you'd better get the hell out of there.
There were a few exceptions, like my quarters. It would only keep me in if there was a vacuum or a fire outside the door. It only flashed yellow as a warning.
I went to the commons and another alarm went off. What the hell? This one was in the passenger section, apartment 12. Nobody should be in there. Whores? More electric problems?
The commons was closer and I had to make sure the cargo had evacuated.
There were no whores and no fire. My tablet reported it was a scheduled drill. That explained number twelve, sometimes they simulated more than one fire.
It went off again. "Cargo section, #6." I laughed, the computer was posing a conundrum for me. And the cargo. If your quarters caught fire you were supposed to go to the commons but what if it were on fire, too?
Number six... that was the Thai girls, wasn't it?
There was screaming from the other side of the door. "Computer, open the door" I ordered.
"Unable to comply. Danger to ship, passengers, other cargo, and crew."
"Report."
"Fire in cargo hold six. Fire suppression technologies deployed."
The damned thing talks like it's went to college.
"Let those girls out, damn it!!"
"Unable to com..."
"GOD DAMN IT!!"
And then another damned alarm went off. Son of a bitch! "Computer, source of new alarm."
"Meteor shower ahead." The door opened and the girles stumbled out, along with the fat blonde, coughing. Smoke billowed from the door before it closed.
"Meet me in the commons, I have an emergency." I ran to the pilot room on my sore legs.
This time, like most times, meteors meant slow down. I reduced gravity to 10%. This time I wasn't going to face the whores until it was over, we were already behind schedule.
After the rocks all passed in front of us I sped back up and adjusted course to make up for the damned rocks.
I checked the passenger quarters and sure enough it was a drill. What morons program this shit, anyway? Having emergency drills when there's a real emergency? That's dangerous. Stupid dangerous. Those bozos might have went to college but they were morons. God damned idiots!
What? Yeah, yeah, just shut up and let me talk, I want to get this over. Anyway, the three girls were still sitting on the medic outside their apartment sucking oxygen. The door light was red but no longer flashing.
"So what happened?" I asked them.
"Don't know," the blonde said. I can never remember her name. Anyway, she says "we were just talking when that damned noisy maid burst into flames and the room locked us in! We were scared shitless!"
It happened sometimes, but they usually smoked for a while before they started burning, and then only when they were old and worn out. I hoped the ship had a robot that made robots.
The light went out, the door opened, the Thai women went in and the blonde went home. So did I.
Destiny had fallen asleep, so I got a beer and put the movie back to where I'd left off.
Continues...