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I had three dollars, enough to Get There And Back Again with four bits left over.

I was getting fixated on sex. This isn't - not for me at least - quite the same as getting horny, rather it's an inability to think about anything else.

However it was early evening. I do the best at getting tipped from late morning to mid-afternoon, but since yesterday every fucking Portland street corner has been occupied by canvassers who were raising money for a campaign whose objective is to legalize shrooms for treatment of depression, a cause I heartily support. Whenever I spoke with such a canvasser, I promised I'd shell out a generous portion of my tips, but my take is down lately.

It worked really well to print a US Letter-sized poster that read "Please Buy Me And My Lady Tickets To Spiderman And Some Popcorn $20.00" I actually raised $25 in just two twenty minute sets; two different people each gave me ten spots.

But since then I've used a sign that reads "Please Buy Me Five Hundred Business Cards $9.95 At Vistaprint" with the result that my gross revenues dropped right down into The Seventh Circle Of Hell".

Now that everybody - incorrectly - believes I've already seen Spiderman - she wasn't feeling well that night, so "Sarah" - not her real name - and I instead blew it on Caffein, seeing how she's so comfortable with being a drug addict.

So instead I'll ask for $22.00, seeing as how Portland's Living Room Theater, this because that particular theater's tickets cost eleven clams a head.

No one will believe - correctly - that I've already seen it. And I recommend it _highly_ to the lot of you. But I must advise you that if you've ever been with an addict, that movie is going to be hard to take - I burst into tears toward the end.

So now I've only got the four bits and no train fair.

The happy news is that I got blown by two different gents. They both requested I reciprocate at the same time, the first that's happened. Having only one oral pleasuring unit, I instead gave them both handjobs.

Do.
Yer.
Worst.

Hey Guys,

I've got a bit of a problem I'm working on. It seemed like an easy problem, but I'm running into lots of issues. If anyone has any tips, I would appreciate it!

So I have lots (just over a hundred) of SQL express instances running on essentially POSes. When a transaction is made, an entry is made to a table. At the end of the day, the application also updates a couple other tables with a bulk insert.

I want to replicate all that data back home so it's all in one place to query (SQL Standard). As near real time as possible/reasonable.

My plan was to setup merged replication with the central server the publisher and the site the subscriber. That mostly worked (with some tweaking), but bulk inserts do not fire triggers, so those entries do not replicate. I could setup a separate job to update the bulk inserts to fire the triggers, but that's pretty hacky and not ideal.

Is there a better way to do what I'm trying to do? Some SSIS package that will be annoying to maintain (although I'm worried these subscriptions will be annoying too)? Log shipping?

I feel like this should be a pretty common problem, but I can't find anything. Am I going about this completely wrong?

Gunman who killed officer left a note accusing police of hitting him with 'sonic waves'

The gunman who killed an officer in Northern California left behind a letter accusing the Davis police department of hitting him with "ultra sonic waves."

A man on a bicycle shot Davis police Officer Natalie Corona, 22, Thursday night as she responded to a triple-car crash in the city of Davis. He was later found dead with a self-inflicted gunshot wound.

[...] Limbaugh left behind a letter, according to Davis police spokesman Lt. Paul Doroshov, who read the letter on camera to CNN affiliate KMAX.

"The Davis police department has been hitting me with ultra sonic waves meant to keep dogs from barking. I notified the press, internal affairs, and even the FBI about it. I am highly sensitive to its affect [sic] on my inner ear," the letter reads. "I did my best to appease them, but they have continued for years and I can't live this way anymore."

The letter is signed "Citizen Kevin Limbaugh."

The past couple of days my phone and email have been blowing up w/ irate customers saying they suddenly can't connect to their shared folders anymore. After some investigation, it turns out KB4480970 security patch is breaking networking on Windows 7 machines. There's a good thread on reddit that suggests a registry hack or simply uninstalling the patch as a workaround.

Makes me wonder if Microsoft's Windows update QA is either seriously slacking, or if it's accidentally on-purpose to convince Windows 7 users to upgrade to Windows 10. Grrr.

My Medicaid got cancelled as I was too sick to prepare the Profit And Loss Statement the Washington State Health Authority wanted from me so as to prove my income eligibility.

To run out of my Happy Pills won't make me crazy for a while, but skip just one dose of either of two of them will make me quite physically ill.

The ER won't give me many doses but it will give me _some_.

I'll take the bus, as I'm not so sick - not yet anyway - that I need at ambulance.

Facebook Removes Page That Aimed to 'Expose' R. Kelly Accusers

A newly launched Facebook page that sought to defend R. Kelly and "expose" his accusers in the aftermath of Surviving R. Kelly has been pulled off the social network for violating terms of service.

On Monday, after the six-part docuseries' weekend run on Lifetime, TMZ reported that "[Kelly] and his camp" were behind a pair of sites – a Facebook page called Surviving Lies and an in-the-works website bearing the same name – that aimed to clear his name and discredit his accusers. It has not been confirmed whether Kelly is actually behind the pages.

After the Facebook page launched Monday, its operators posted a previously surfaced audio recording that allegedly contradicted the story of one of the women who appeared on Surviving R. Kelly.

Also at Vulture and Billboard.

So there's a new semester starting, Java 11 (the next LTS version) has been released, so - for the sake of my students - I wanted to update all of my Java installations and examples to Java 11. They were previously at Java 8, or in some cases 9 (to show the new module system).

Java 11 - what a fricking mess.

First, let's talk about the API documentation. For as long as I can remember, the Java documentation has offered a hierarchical frame-view that shows packages in the top-left, classes in the bottom left, and details on a particular class on the right. This provides a convenient overview, and allows you to move around within the hierarchy. With the advent of the module system, the top-left was adapted to show modules - same idea, works just as well. This has been eliminated in Java 11. Instead of a hierarchy of views, you have a search field. While it is a very intelligent search field, it hardly replaces the overview one had with the three hierarchical frames. Why remove something that has worked so well, for so long, and is so ingrained in the way people work?

Second, JavaFX has been removed. As someone who spent too many years fighting with Swing bugs in desktop GUIs, JavaFX has been nothing but a huge relief. Simple concepts like focus-change work in JavaFX, whereas they never did in Swing. I won't pretend it doesn't have problems, but it is massively better than Swing ever was - and deserves to be part of standard Java. According to Oracle, removing JavaFX from Java "makes JavaFX easier to adopt". Um...because people now have to hunt down and install external libraries?

Third - I'm working on behalf of my students here - so I'm updating various kinds of installations, to create a walkthrough. It turns out that, as of Java 11, Oracle says that non-commercial users should use OpenJDK. But OpenJDK on Windows does not come with an installer - you are supposed to unpack the files in the right place, and set environment variables and (if you need them) registry entries manually. Seriously?

Meanwhile, Ubuntu has seen fit to lie about what version of OpenJDK they have in their repositories. In a post from February 2018, they document the fact that they have an SRU called "OpenJDK-11" that actually delivers Java 10. As of today (9 Jan 2019, four months after Java 11 was released), installing OpenJDK-11 still gives you Java 10.

Then we have tooling. Because JavaFX is no longer part of Java, you have to do a lot more fiddling with module-paths and command line parameters. This is not fun - and for students just learning, it is frankly a catastrophy. In Eclipse, of course, there is e(fx)clipse, which is supposed to handle all this for you. Sadly, Eclipse 2018-12 (the current version as of this writing) is delivered with e(fx)clipse 3.3.0. Which - this has been known since September - borks your Eclipse installation to the point that it no longer starts. To fix this, you have to re-install Eclipse and specifically fetch a patched version (4.3.1) of e(fx)clipse.

And this patched version? It does nice things like define JavaFX as an external library, but as far as I can tell, selecting this library does absolutely nothing. You still have tie JavaFX via a self-defined user library, you still have to pass module parameters to the VM - the plug-in seems to actually do nothing at all.

All in all, is seems that many different parties have conspired to make Java 11 a total disaster. I'm just trying to imagine how I am supposed to walk fresh, never-programmed-before students through an installation process with the kinds of problems described above. What an utter mess!

Just a small update, but it pisses me off.

Her double-her-age "boyfriend" is putting her up in a condo in a trendy area of the city. His company is paying for it. It's clearly a business expense. What a fucking joke.

I'm probably going to have to meet this guy some day...

Uber driver pleads guilty to killing six people between rides

An Uber driver charged with killing six strangers in between picking up passengers pleaded guilty to murder in Michigan on Monday, just before attorneys were set to interview jurors for his trial.

[...] The 48-year-old Dalton answered “yes” to a series of questions, admitting that he shot eight people at three locations. After his arrest, police quoted Dalton as saying a “devil figure” on Uber’s app was controlling him on the day of the shootings.

Could this "devil figure" be an undocumented feature of Uber's app that is being pushed out to some drivers to test mind control?