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How Howard Stern Owned Donald Trump

Lol.

Also, I can't keep up with all the new groping/sexual assault allegations against Trump. Was it two on Thursday and two on Friday (legit question, no joke)?

The perfect defense: Trump belittles accusers as unattractive, as more come forward
US election 2016: Presidential race goes down the drain
Physically Attacked by Donald Trump – a PEOPLE Writer’s Own Harrowing Story

The entire universe was turned inside out and upside down and completely backwards today, and I must have been the only one to see it. It all started with an innocent looking email.

        I get a lot of emails like this one, except that the note’s subject line looked like a headline from the National Enquirer, or maybe The Onion. It read “Archaeologists Find Twenty Five Million Year Old iPhone.” Misaddressed, maybe? But it was a press release for an art exhibit.

        A few minutes after I set the mail aside is when it hit me; the fellow who sent the email had mentioned that he’d seen my work before and knew I’d written about art and wanted me to see his exhibit. I had written a story, one story, ten years earlier, and the paper hadn’t published it.

        I printed it out and went to see Frank, my boss.

        “What’s up, Stan?” he asked.

        “I just got the strangest email” I said, handing him the printout. He read it.

        “So what’s so weird, Stan? You must get these every day!”

        “What’s weird is that yeah, I’m working on that story about the city museum, but I haven’t even finished researching it and barely have an outline, and I only wrote one other art thing, and it was never published!”

        “Huh, that is weird. Why don’t you go down and check the place out?”

        “You know, Frank, I think I will. Maybe I’ll get a fun story out of it.”

        It was here in town, 568 Broadway, up in the eleventh floor. It was only about a fifteen minutes ride on the subway, and I rode the elevator up.

        It looked like an Apple store, only it was as weird as the email. For instance, it had strange iPhone accessories, like a case with a built-in hourglass. It was like an Apple store in some twisted alternate dimension.

        I had expected to see Evan Yee, the artist behind the installation, but nobody was there at all. Also weird. I took a few photos and left, disappointed that I had gotten no story out of it.

        I went to the elevator, and there was no elevator. Instead, there was a door leading outside, at street level. I wondered if I was going crazy, and remembered the time my mother said she had a “senior moment”. Maybe I was just getting old, but I was only forty five.

        I reached for my phone as I walked outside, thinking that maybe I’d get some sort of inspiration from the pictures, but it was gone. Damn, that phone cost six hundred dollars! I was glad I’d noticed so soon, and turned around to go in – and it was an Apple store. Between losing my phone and my disorientation when I left the exhibit, I hadn’t noticed that there hadn’t been anyone outside.

        By now I was sure I was going crazy. I went in anyway, and there was my phone, laying on one of the counters. I picked it up, looked around, and the place looked nothing like it had before I’d left, although it still looked like a weird, twisted, dystopian Apple store.

        I left again, and the street and sidewalk were bright green. I just stood there a minute, kind of dazed, I guess. By then I was pretty sure I’d gone stark raving mad. Maybe I was having a stroke? I reached in my pocket to call for an ambulance, and my phone was gone. I could have sworn I’d stuck it in my pocket.

        I went back in, and it wasn’t an Apple store any more, just an empty room with my phone laying on the floor. I picked it up and tried to call 911, but there was no signal. I went outside again to get a signal; lots of buildings suck for phones, and it was now night; it had been morning when I’d gone in.

        And there were two moons. Everything else was normal, but there were two moons in the sky and there were no people.

        And my phone was missing again! Next phone I buy is going to be a cheap one. I went back inside, and it was an Apple store again, this time like any other Apple store. Again there was no one there, and again my phone was on the counter. And again, I could get no signal. I firmly gripped it in my fist and walked outside...

        And confronted a monster! A giant animal, really huge, bigger than an elephant with huge teeth and claws and feathers. I screamed and ran back inside... a cave.

        And I’d dropped my phone outside in my fright. Not that it seemed to work any more, anyway. Or that it mattered, since I had clearly gone insane.

        But I couldn’t just sit in the cave. I waited a long time to make sure the monster was gone, then peeked outside. No monsters, and no phone. I went back in, I don’t know why, and there was my phone laying on a large rock. I put it in my pocket, and noticed the cave had changed. It was huge before, now little more than an indentation in the rock face.

        I went back out, and it looked like New York in the early twentieth century, except there were no people. I hadn’t seen a soul since I’d started this ordeal, except for the monster.

        And my phone was gone again. I turned around, and the Apple store’s sign read “Bell Telephone”. I went inside and there was a bank of antique switchboards, all unmanned. My phone was laying on one.

        I put it back in my pocket and walked back out. I don’t think I’ve ever been as worried and scared in my life, especially when I’d seen the huge, weird looking animal. This time the streets and signs of civilization were gone, and a group of wigwams was there where New York City had been before.

        I was shaking. I sat down on a log, put my face in my hands and cried like a baby. I felt like one, lost like no lost child had ever been lost before.

        Cried out, I sat and tried to think of a way out of the mess I’d somehow gotten myself into. The only thing I could think of was going back into the wigwam.

        There was a room filled with some very strange looking machinery, machinery I’d never seen before and had an idea that no one else had either. And there were people there this time! Two women, a blonde and a brunette, both wearing extremely strange looking clothing, intently poring over a complex-looking gizmo that looked like it was from some science fiction movie, and didn’t notice my entry. I stood there speechless.

        “We almost had him!” one of the women exclaimed. “In the right dimension and we almost had him in the right time. It would have taken only one more minute. If he’d just sat still a little longer!”

        “I can’t find when he is now. This thing is being extra finicky today,” the other woman remarked.

        “Excuse me,” I said, “But would someone please call 911? I think I’ve had a stroke or something.”

        They both whirled around at the same time. The blonde said “Oh, no, he’s now!”

        The brunette said “It will be all right, sir. Please, take your phone and wait in the hallway until it rings. There’s a comfortable chair out there.”

        “What’s going on?” I asked.

        The blonde said “I’m sorry, we can’t say anything more without fouling things up even worse than they already are. Please, your world will be normal in a few minutes, just listen for your phone.”

        “Uh, okay, I guess,” I said, and took my phone outside and sat down.

        Maybe fifteen minutes later I heard my ring tone, and it was coming from inside the office. I looked in my pocket and my phone was gone again.

        I wondered if someone at work could have spiked my coffee with some hallucinogen, but no... nobody at the office would have done such a thing. I sighed, wondering what strangeness I was going to see next, and went in.

        I was back at the art exhibit, and again, no one was there. I picked up the phone to answer it, but all that came out of it were some strange noises. I hung up, and I was getting a signal again! I called my boss.

        “Where have you been?” Frank asked.

        “I got lost. I may have had a stroke or something, I’m going to the doctor to get checked out. I’ll call when I’m done to let you know.”

        “Well, I hope you’re all right. I’ll talk to you later.”

        “Bye.”

        I walked hesitantly out into the hallway, and the chair and door to the outside the building were gone, with the elevators taking its place. I pushed the button, and when the car came I stepped in gingerly wondering what would happen when I got outside.

        Outside the building everything seemed normal again, with the throngs of people and noise of vehicular traffic. I hailed a cab and took the taxi to the hospital, where they took my vitals and did a brain scan and some psychological tests. The doctor said everything looked normal, but my blood pressure was a little high and I should make an appointment with my regular doctor.

        I took the subway back to the office. As I waited for the elevator, Doris, an editor, walked up—and she had red hair. Oh, no, I thought. “Your hair!” I said, scared again.

        “Like it?” she said. “I was tired of being a blonde so I dyed it last night.”

        I could have hugged her. We took the elevator up and I went to see Frank.

        “Frank, do you mind having someone else check out that exhibit? I don’t think I could give them a fair revue.”

        Frank said I looked really pale and should go home, so I went home early. I couldn’t get this weird day out of my mind, so I just wrote it down.

        Of course, I’m not putting this in the paper. Maybe I’ll send it to a science fiction magazine under an assumed name, because there’s no way anyone could believe it wasn’t fiction.

        But I’m getting a new phone tomorrow.

So, my network has done some strange things over the years. We're all familiar with Cat5 cabling. You plug the RJ45 connecter into two machines, and they are supposed to communicate. Way back, you had to have a crossover cable to make some couplings work, but that's pretty much ancient history now. The machines generally sense whether there is a crossover present now, and compensate.

But, recently, a laptop was plugged into the network with some random cable laying around. They all look pretty much the same, and no one can say where any particular cord came from. Most of those six foot yellow cables are relatively new, and come with almost any machine or card you buy nowadays. But, there are the putrid green ones, the gray ones, black, brown. Do the colors mean anything? Hell, I don't know. But, the laptop was plugged into my gigabyte network, and things just crawled.

So, I did some reading. Cat5 has been around for a long time. They predate any effort on my part to do any networking. The Cat5 specification has undergone changes several times now, because the old standards are just not fast enough.

Obviously, we are into the gigabyte range of speeds now. But, take an ancient ethernet cable, plut it into a typical hub, and the hub automatically changes the speed of ALL THE CONNECTIONS to that slower speed.

Thus, plugging the laptop into the hub with that ancient cable dragged my entire network down to less than 10/100 speeds. Files were transferring at about 4 M/s on my gigabyte network.

So, after some (minimal) research, I decided to just upgrade everything. Shopped around a little, and decided on Newegg's lower cost offerings. Ordered a dozen 6 footers, a couple 12, 25, 30, and 50 foot cables, thought a little more, and ordered a couple more. Got a big box of cables in last week, all of them purple.

One cable at a time, I replaced every single Cat5 cable in the house. And, there are some short cables lying near the router and the hub, awaiting the odd people who show up, and want to plug into the network. (of course only odd people show up at my house, what did you expect?)

Now - what to do with that mess of old cables?

I'm thinking about divvying them out among people that I don't like very much. Let one or more of them try to figure out why his/her network is suddenly crawling at less than ten meg. I can tell them that I only upgraded to Cat6 because the cables are a pretty purple color. They'll believe stupid stuff like that.

It's a wrap! Get ready for President H. R. Clinton!

Trump recorded having extremely lewd conversation about women in 2005
Billy Bush was already polarizing. His lewd Donald Trump conversation makes things much worse.
Tape Reveals Donald Trump Bragging About Groping Women
'You Can Do Anything': In 2005 Tape, Trump Brags About Groping, Kissing Women

In talking about kissing women, Trump boasted: "I'm automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It's like a magnet. Just kiss. I don't even wait. And when you're a star, they let you do it. You can do anything."

"Grab them by the p****. You can do anything," the Republican nominee continued, using vulgar slang for the female anatomy.

Trump also told Bush — who is the nephew of former President George H.W. Bush and cousin of former President George W. Bush and former 2016 candidate Jeb Bush — about a time he unsuccessfully tried to seduce a married woman.

"I moved on her, and I failed," he said. "I'll admit it. I did try and f*** her. She was married." He continued, "I moved on her very heavily."

He said he even took her furniture shopping to try to get her to sleep with him.

"I moved on her like a b****," he said, "but I couldn't get there. And she was married. Then, all of a sudden, I see her — she's now got the big phony t*** and everything. She's totally changed her look."

[...] In regard to trying to shift blame to Bill Clinton, Trump has also threatened to bring up the former president's infidelities in an attempt to damage his wife during the next debate. That's despite Trump's having been divorced twice and admitting to his own adultery. At the time of this 2005 recording, Trump had just married his third (and current) wife, Melania.

'America deserves far better': Republicans react to crude comments from leaked Trump audio

"No woman should ever be described in these terms or talked about in this manner. Ever," Republican National Committee Chair Reince Priebus said in a statement, in a sharp, unprecedented response about the party's presidential nominee.

Statement from Donald Trump:

“This was locker room banter, a private conversation that took place many years ago. Bill Clinton has said far worse to me on the golf course - not even close. I apologize if anyone was offended.”

Kim Kardashian Bound, Gagged and Held at Gunpoint: Exclusive New Details on the Robbery in Paris

The French Interior Ministry said five men threatened a concierge with a weapon, handcuffed him and forced him to open Kardashian's private apartment. Per Today, the Paris Prosecutor's office confirmed two of the men gained entry to her room. One of Kardashian's rings, worth an estimated $4.49 million, as well as a jewelry box, worth an estimated $5.6 million, were stolen.

This is a critical moment in human history.

Kentucky day care worker cited for 'smack for a snack' game

The report says two male staff members would play a "Smack for a Snack" game. The report says the only way school-age children could get a yogurt is to allow the men to hit them with a stick on their leg and/or hand. State officials say at least two students had noticeable bruising. Lexington Police cited one staff member with second-degree assault.

An ingenious cost-cutting move that builds character.

More problems are noted in the article.

https://theintercept.com/2016/09/30/hillary-clinton-center-right/

IN THE HACKED recording of a private conversation with campaign donors in February, Hillary Clinton distanced herself from progressive goals like “free college, free healthcare” and described her place on the political spectrum as spanning from the center-left to the center-right.

Clinton has been inconsistent in the past about espousing political labels. She has at times touted herself as stalwart liberal. For instance, she said last July: “I take a backseat to no one when you look at my record in standing up and fighting for progressive values.” But a few months later, she told a group in Ohio: “You know, I get accused of being kind of moderate and center. I plead guilty.”

The newly disclosed comments came in audio, apparently from hacked emails, that was revealed this week by the Washington Free Beacon, a conservative blog run by a Republican communications strategist. Clinton was speaking at a Virginia fundraiser hosted by Beatrice Welters, the former U.S. ambassador to Trinidad and Tobago, and her husband Anthony Welters, the executive chairman of an investment consulting firm founded by former Clinton aide Cheryl Mills.

http://www.politico.com/story/2016/09/hillary-clinton-bernie-sanders-supporters-audio-leak-228997

http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/trump-jumps-leaked-audio-hillary-clinton-fundraiser/story?id=42499760

Omagerd I can't even.

Some developers dropping Oculus support to protest founder’s politics [Updated]

Indie developers Polytron (best known for Fez) and Kokoromi (makers of the intriguing VR puzzle game SuperHyperCube), have joined in the developer protest against Oculus. Last year, SuperHyperCube was announced as a PlayStation VR exclusive "at launch," but today, the companies made it clear "we will not be pursuing Oculus support" for the game after that exclusivity expires.

"In a political climate as fragile and horrifying as this one, we cannot tacitly endorse these actions by supporting Luckey or his platform," they wrote (and announced via tweet). "If you are a voting citizen of the United States, please remember to register and make your voice heard this Nov. 8. Do not let bigotry, white supremacy, hate, and fear win."

Instead of making it so that any dumb VR headset can view our game, we will take a stand against bigotry (and having political opinions) and work only with Sony VRDRM.

Palmer Luckey, Millionaire Founder of Oculus Rift, Loves Donald Trump and Dates a Gamergater

It’s been an open secret for some time that Palmer Luckey, the 24-year-old founder of VR company Oculus Rift and heir apparent to the future of gaming, is a strange guy—the type who argues with his customers on Reddit and casually cosplays as My Little Pony characters. Turns out, he also appears to be an active supporter of Donald Trump and the alt-right, and in a long-term relationship with an avid Gamergater.

Rags-to-riches nerd dates a hottie, gets called out for it. No pussy for anti-social white nerds, EVER.

It's all a conspiracy to derail anti-social VR technology! Everyone who is anti-social will be exterminated! You must buy the upcoming Apple augmented reality product, which is pro-social! But not Google's, because that one is just as anti-social as VR, you problematihole!

I'm sure these articles would do "well" on the front page, but I don't want to put them there.

Maybe we need some new options for journals. For example, an option to nest journals (from friends only) between stories on the main page, or an RSS feed that lists all of the journals (if this one exists, I haven't seen it).

Due to the length, editing has taken longer than usual and its still getting final tune ups. It's now scheduled to go live tomorrow at 10AM EST.

I've got the article nearly written up (working on the last sections now), and it weighs in close to 3k words. If you're a ham radio operator or have soldering skills, there's also a plea for help as I'm interesting in using AX.25 for future examples but I don't have the necessary equipment or resources to acquire it at this moment.

Feel free to look at the code here: https://github.com/SoylentNews/retromalware